


Memories

by LooNeyTooNey



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Bisexual Kevin Day, F/F, F/M, Kevin Day Needs A Hug, M/M, OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 94
Words: 117,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooNeyTooNey/pseuds/LooNeyTooNey
Summary: "Thalia Warden will be a legal adult on this day next year. Until then, she will live in the foster care system, and will be able to do with her life as she pleases after that."-Memories are a powerful thing. Something everyone strives to collect and to keep. But when pieces of your life start falling apart, and there are things you can't remember, it gets tough.Thalia's life is full of fragmented pieces, and there are only two things she is absolutely sure of; she needs to run. Run away from whatever home she's placed in. Run to freedom, and never look back. And that agreeing to play exy with the Palmetto State Foxes was the best decision in her life.
Relationships: Abby Winfield/David Wymack, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Kevin/OC, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Kudos: 11





	1. Playlist

I SEE FIRE - Ed Sheeran  
THIS CITY - Sam Fischer  
MONSTA - Benee  
SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW - Gotye  
LOOKING AT ME - Sabrina Carpenter  
RELAX - Drax Project  
BAD - Michael Jackson  
WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE - Billy Joel  
AIN'T NO REST FOR THE WICKED - Cage The Elephant  
PUMPED UP KICKS - Foster The People  
CALIFORNIA - Yungblud  
ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST - Queen  
SITTING INSIDE MY HEAD - Supergroove  
THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US - Michael Jackson  
SUPALONELY - Benee  
ART HOE - Call Me Karizma  
BODY TALKS - The Struts & Kesha  
GOLDEN DAYS - Panic! At The Disco  
CHECKMATE - Conan Gray  
DIE FOR THE HYPE - Yunglbud  
LITTLE LIES - Fleetwood Mac  
FALLING - Harry Styles  
LEGENDARY - Welshly Arms  
FLAWS - Bastille  
RENEGADES - X Ambassadors  
BURY A FRIEND - Billie Eilish  
LONELY BOY - The Black Keys  
EVERYTHING'S OKAY - Lenka  
ALL MY LOVE - Ariana Grande  
POKER FACE - Lady Gaga  
LONELY HEART - Five Seconds of Summer  
HIGH ENOUGH - K.flay  
JUST THE TWO OF US - Grover Washington  
BATTLE SCARS - Guy Sebastian  
PAPER RINGS - Taylor Swift  
MARS - Yungblud  
YELLOW FLICKER BEAT - Lorde  
REWRITE THE STARS - Zac Efron & Zendaya  
THAT MAN - Caro Emerald  
ENCHANTED - Taylor Swift  
THE LESS I KNOW THE BETTER - Tame Impala  
BURY ME FACE DOWN - Grandson  
I MISS HAVING SEX BUT AT LEAST I DON'T WANNA DIE - Waterparks  
LEVEL OF CONCERN - Twenty One Pilots  
GOOD IN BED - Dua Lipa  
ALL THE KIDS ARE DEPRESSED - Jeremy Zucker  
POMPEII - Bastille  
HOSPITALIZED - Broods  
ATLANTIS - Seafret  
MIND YOR MANNERS - Chiddy Bang  
DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART - Elton John  
AFRAID - The Neighbourhood  
KILLER QUEEN - Queen  
WHAT A FEELING - One Direction  
HANDS UP - DNCE  
MONSTER - Shawn Mendes  
KISSES OF FIRE - Abba  
SAFE AND SOUND - Taylor Swift  
APRIL SUN IN CUBA - Dragon Dragon  
3 NIGHTS - Dominic Fike  
IT'S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME - Billy Joel  
MIDNIGHT MEMORIES - One Direction  
IRIS - The Goo Goo Dolls  
ISLAND IN THE SUN - Weezer  
THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT - Fall Out Boy  
MORE THAN A WOMAN - Bee Gees  
BLOOM - Paige  
ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS - Vera Blue  
WHEN I'M SIXTY FOUR - The Beatles  
WIRES - The Neighbourhood  
GOOD OLD-FASHIONED LOVERBOY - Queen  
GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS - Panic! At The Disco  
EVERYTHING I DIDN'T SAY - Five Seconds Of Summer  
COME ON EILEEN - Dexys Midnight Runners  
MR BRIGHTSIDE - The Killers  
FRIEND OF A FRIEND - New Hope Club  
CRAZY=GENIUS - Panic! At The Disco  
HOME - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes  
APOLOGISE - Timbaland  
END OF THE DAY - One Direction  
LEGEND - The Score  
PAINT THE TOWN GREEN - The Script  
SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING - Elton John  
NATURAL - Imagine Dragons  
PERFECTLY WRONG - Shawn Mendes  
THIS IS HOW A HEART UNBREAKS - Evermoist  
WITHOUT ME - Halsey  
STARGAZING - The Neighbourhood  
RICH GIRL - Daryll Hall and John Oates  
GREASE - Frankie Valli


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I SEE FIRE
> 
> 'Now I see fire, inside the mountain  
> I see fire, burning the trees  
> And I see fire, hollowing souls  
> And I see fire, blood in the breeze  
> And I hope that you'll remember me'

Remembering things was like gold for Thalia. She didn't have many complete memories, and the ones she did have were out of context. Hard to decipher the meaning of. Annoying. But most of all, they terrified Thalia. 

One of the memories that stuck inside her mind like gum to the bottom of a shoe was the one that started her journey. 

Thalia lay on her back, aching and sharp pains throughout her whole body. She stared at the starry night sky, and listened to the crackling of a fire nearby. Thalia had wanted to turn her head. Look at the orange light. But she didn't have enough strength to compel her body to obey her thoughts and wishes. 

So Thalia lay there in pain and eventually someone stood over her. It was a boy. Thalia could see that much. The fire emitted enough light for Thalia to see the boy's eyes glisten with tears. She wondered if he were crying over her, but found it unlikely. As far as Thalia knew, she had nothing to do with this boy. He'd likely just found her here.

But then the boy took something out of his pocket and put it in Thalia's hand, giving it a soft squeeze. He bent down and pressed a kiss to Thalia's forehead. She wanted to ask him what he was doing. But then he stood again and walked away. Thalia used all her strength to look to the side and was startled by what she saw.

The boy was walking towards the fire, but it wasn't just a fire with sticks and wood, like Thalia had guessed it would be. The fire was coming from a car, and the boy walked right past it. Had Thalia been pulled from the car? Was there some sort of accident? Had the boy saved her?

There were too many questions. Ones that Thalia would never know the answers to. So eventually she'd stopped trying to find out, and let the memory haunt her forever.

⥎  
⥐

"Thalia? It's time to go." Officer Higgins said as he knocked on the hotel door. Thalia had woken up at seven thirty that morning, fussing over her appearance for hours. It was now one o'clock, and Thalia still wasn't ready. Not mentally. She didn't think she'd ever be ready for what today held.

"Just a minute, officer." Thalia replied, hoping the man didn't hear the strain in her voice. She looked at her reflection in the full length mirror. 

The yellow, calf length dress she'd bought yesterday fit her perfectly, but Thalia smoothed it down every few seconds as she fretted over it. Her watch - the only thing she had connecting her to a past life - sat on her bony wrist, and the heels she'd chosen felt like they were going to make her fall over.

"Thalia, come on. We really need to go now." Thalia sighed, knowing the officer was right. She opened the door with a smiling face that Higgins returned. The smile was a fake, just like everything she'd told the police for the past few weeks. As far as they knew, Thalia knew nothing of her past. But that wasn't quite true. 

She had fragments of memories floating through her brain. Thalia had written them down as soon as they'd popped up to make sure she didn't forget. Never again would she be left vulnerable and without hope. 

Arriving at the court house was making Thalia more nervous than she'd been half an hour earlier. She felt like she was going to throw up, with a pressure rising in her throat that didn't feel right. Thalia sat in the backseat of the cop car for a few minutes after they'd stopped. Higgins turned in his seat in the front to face her, though it was hard to see his face through the grating.

"Listen, kid. You're going to be fine. It's not like you're being convicted of murder." Higgins laughed like his joke was funny. Thalia didn't think it was, so she said nothing. "The only reason you're here is so that the judge can decide what happens to you, and what the safest thing for you is."

Thalia knew that was true. After being found on that beach by police, Thalia had spent three weeks in hospital, and then three being questioned by police. They'd seen the car. It apparently wasn't still burning by the time they got there, but they'd realised Thalia must have been pulled out by someone. 

They'd found it odd, however, that Thalia had a bullet wound in her thigh and a few broken bones, though Thalia didn't know anything about how she'd gotten those wounds, and had told them as much. The only full-truth the police had about Thalia.

Once inside the courtroom, Thalia became slightly less nervous, which she found humorous. There was the judge, officer Higgins, two other police officers, and Thalia herself. She sat next to Higgins and waited patiently for the judge to speak.

"Thalia Warden," she began. Thalia nodded. "The decision has been made that you will spend one full year in the foster care system, and on this day, one year from now, you will turn eighteen and be allowed to live your life as you please."

Thalia let out a breath. She was relieved that nothing else was going to happen to her, but also surprised that it hadn't. Higgins put a hand on her back comfortingly and told her it was time to leave. Thalia didn't waste any time, and stood up, following him out of the court house.

Once back in the car, Higgins turned around. "It'll take a couple of days to find a family to take you in, but from then, you'll be in safe hands. I promise." Don't make promises you can't keep, Thalia thought as he drove away from the court house.


	3. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CITY
> 
> 'This city's gonna break my heart  
> This city's gonna love me then leave me alone  
> This city's got me chasing stars  
> It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home  
> Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong?'

Driving the car was exhilarating. Thalia couldn't help but laugh to herself as the music played loudly, overruling the sounds of screeching cars and police car sirens. She turned the corner and widened her eyes. Thalia switched her foot to the brakes as quickly as she could and waited for the impact of an airbag. It never came.

Three police cars blocked the road with doors open and officers standing behind them with guns pointed at Thalia. There were tire chains spread out in front of the cars, and she'd only narrowly missed hitting them. Looking in her mirror, Thalia saw the cars that had been chasing her slow to a stop behind her and sighed.

"Step out of the vehicle with your hands in the air," an officer with a loudspeaker said. Thalia tried to come up with a plan to get out of this mess, but came up blank. She unlocked the door and raised her hands as she got out of the car. This was standard procedure. She'd been asked to do this many times.

Two officers ran forward, guns still aimed at Thalia's head, and cuffed her hands together, pushing her up against the car. 

Back at the precinct, Thalia waited in the interrogation room for the officer she knew would be there. Despite living three hours away, he always managed to make it.

"Ah, hello there officer." Thalia said with a manic smile on her face. The officer didn't look as excited to see Thalia as she was. "Long time no see, Pig. How're the kids?" it was a rhetorical question, and officer Higgins knew Thalia well enough not to answer the question. He sat opposite her and looked wearily into Thalia's eyes.

Officer Higgins had helped Thalia through the rough weeks following the night she was found, and had kept an eye on her ever since. She found it annoying, but that wasn't why she did the things she did.

Running was like a drug to Thalia. She'd ran away from fourteen foster homes now. She'd been caught each time, but Higgins refused to give up on her, even through the illegal acts she'd committed. Thalia had gotten over her fear of courtrooms, as she'd appeared in them a few times. Higgins always testified in her favour, claiming she was 'a troubled kid who just needs the right support'. Thalia knew it meant jack shit.

"Thalia, this is the third time you've stolen a car." Higgins said. "Get more creative with your methods of running away. Next time you might actually try running instead of driving. It's much less obvious." Thalia laughed. Their banter was something she could find humour in, though Higgins just sounded tired. 

"Why do you make the drive every time I get brought in, Pig?" Thalia asked while Higgins looked though a file. He looked at her over his glasses, and Thalia gave him a look that said she was being serious. He sighed and closed the file, taking off his glasses.

"Thalia, I want to help you. But I can't do that unless you let me." he explained. Thalia wasn't really listening. She just wanted to move on from the topic of her current arrest. "Your foster parents aren't pressing charges, even though you scratched up their car real bad. We're keeping you here until we can rehome you."

Thalia groaned in annoyance. She just wanted the year to be over, and she wanted to go live on her own somewhere far away from California.

Higgins took Thalia to the holding cells and left her there. "Y'know, you could really be something, Thalia. If you just tried." She didn't respond to that, and Higgins just walked away.

⥎  
⥐ 

A knock at the front door got Thalia's attention, and her foster mother yelled at her to answer it. Thalia sighed and stood, walking over to the door and opening it. A big man with tattoos on his arms stood next to a younger, much shorter boy with brown hair an odd look in his eyes. 

"Can I help you?" Thalia said, voice bored. The life had drained out of her in the past seven months, and the escape she had been planning had gone out the window when officer Higgins told her she had to stay at this foster home or she'd go to juvie.

"Yes, I'm coach David Wymack of the Palmetto University Foxes." the man introduced, obviously hoping to get a reaction from Thalia. "Are you Thalia Warden?"

"Who's he?" Thalia deflected the question and nodded her head to the boy. David Wymack looked to his side then back to Thalia with a polite smile.

"This is Neil Josten, one of my players." the man said. Thalia still wasn't impressed. "Can we come in?" Thalia stood to the side and threw her arm out to the side, inviting the two men in. "Thank you." David and Neil entered the house and Thalia closed the door behind them.

"We have visitors," Thalia called out. She stuck her hands in the pocket of her hoodie and stood by the wall, carefully positioning herself so that her back was to the wall. Shouts came from the living room and footsteps made their way to the entrance hall.

"Hello," the woman who'd taken care of Thalia for the past seven months said as she smiled at David. "What can I do for you two young men?" Thalia crossed her arms, uncomfortable with the situation, but glad she could see the whole thing unfold from her position.

"I'm David Wymack, coach to the Palmetto Foxes Exy team. I was hoping to speak with Thalia about playing for my team." he looked between the woman and Thalia. "I heard of her talents over the airwaves and had to come see for myself. I hear you're eighteen in a few months?"

"Two months. I've graduated already." Thalia said cryptically. Wymack nodded. The woman smiled at Thalia and nodded, turning back to Wymack.

"Well, as long as Thalia's alright with it, I'd love for her to have that opportunity," she said happily. "Although, hasn't the season begun already?" Wymack sighed.

"Yes, but unfortunately one of our players passed last week, and we need one more player. I've heard that Thalia is a great one, and would love to have her on my team." Wymack turned and nodded encouragingly at Thalia. 

Thalia realised that it would be her escape. She threw out the original plan that had been culminating in her mind, and stood tall, putting a smile on her face she knew the people in the room would think was real.

"I'd love to," she said. "As long as I get a bed by a wall and the chance to study art, I'll play for you." Wymack laughed, thinking that Thalia was joking. She wasn't. There was no way she could ever sleep if her back wasn't pressed against a wall, and the only way she'd been able to express herself was through art. She let out her anger in exy, but art was what gave Thalia the tools to escape reality for a while.

"Well, I've drawn up a contract and brought it with me, so if you'll read it over and sign it, we can get you to Palmetto in a little under two weeks." Wymack said. The woman clapped her hands together and smiled brighter than ever.

"Wonderful. I'll get a pen. Thalia, darling, you start looking over that contract." she hurried out of the room and Thalia let her smile drop a little. Wymack handed her the paper and Thalia looked through it.

Everything seemed fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing that would force Thalia to reveal parts of herself she didn't want to. And most importantly, it was an out from the hell she was living in.

When the woman came back, Thalia took the pen from her and signed the paper, handing it back to their visitor.

"Thank you. I'll send an email with your plane tickets within the week. I'll see you at Palmetto, Thalia Warden." Wymack smiled. As she took them to the door, Thalia eyed the boy the coach had brought with him. He'd been quiet the whole visit, and when he looked back at Thalia for the last time, she gave him a sickly sweet smile and shut the door in his face.


	4. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MONSTA
> 
> 'What is it that he wants from me?  
> Maybe he just feels lonely  
> What is it that he has in mind?  
> Why has he come here at this time?  
> The monster takes me away  
> From my safe space into the night'

"The fuck do you want?" Thalia said, getting off the plane. She was feeling groggy from flying across the country and didn't feel like putting up with anyone's bullshit right now. She'd gotten a call from Higgins when she landed, and as soon as she picked up, Thalia cut the man off. "I just got off my flight. It's seven thirty here. So I'll repeat my question. The fuck do you want?"

"Just wanted to let you know that you have three weeks to decide what you're going to do before you go back to the judge with a three year life plan." Higgins said from the other line. Thalia could hear his two children playing around the house on the other side of the line.

"Yeah yeah, I know. Is that all?" Thalia said impatiently. Higgins hummed in response and Thalia ended the call. She made her way down the escalator and looked around. The past two weeks had been full of watching the Foxes games and finding out whatever she could about the players. There was only one she found interesting; Andrew Minyard.

Thalia had found out that Andrew, like herself, had been in foster care. He had a twin brother, Aaron, who'd grown up with their mother. Andrew eventually went back to live with his family, but that only lasted a few months before his mother died in a car accident. Thalia doubted that's what it was though. Andrew had motive - his mother had given him up and not Aaron - and enough want to do it.

Andrew had been to juvie, and gotten out just before his return to his family. After the accident, he'd lived with Aaron and his cousin, Nicholas Hemmick. He'd been recruited by the Edgar Allan Ravens, but had refused, and joined the Palmetto Foxes, brother and cousin in tow.

He'd been given court issued drugs after beating up and almost killing four men outside a bar two years ago for insulting Nicky for being gay, and the court had thought his reaction a gross overreaction. If Andrew was thought to be off his meds, he could be tested, and if the test came back negative, he'd be sent to jail.

Thalia looked around for any of the faces she'd studied hard, and eventually came to land on Andrew's. She hadn't expected to see him, but had been hoping to all the while. She made her way over to him and stood right in front of the short man. Thalia wasn't exactly tall herself, but Andrew was much shorter than her.

"Thalia," Andrew asked, but said it as more of a statement. Thalia nodded. "Baggage claim." he seemed different than Thalia had pictured him in his mind, but she didn't dwell on it. She thought more of the fact that whenever he was seen on tv, Andrew was smiling manically, likely a result of his medication. This Andrew wasn't smiling. 

Thalia knew right away something was wrong. Either he was off his drugs - perhaps to take account of Thalia with a clear mind - or this wasn't Andrew at all. Perhaps this was Aaron. But Thalia couldn't be sure.

"This is it." Thalia held up her duffel bag, and Andrew muttered something to himself as he walked off. Thalia followed, not saying anything about Andrew's comment. Once outside, Andrew stepped right into the traffic and pulled out a cigarette. Thalia was itching for one herself, but she couldn't bring any with her on the plane.

"Hey," she said. Andrew didn't turn at first. "Hey asshole." that gave Thalia the desired reaction. "Can I have one?" she gestured to the packet he was trying to stuff into his pocket again. Andrew took one out and handed it to Thalia, then lit it and walked off again.

Once they reached Andrew's car, he grumbled something about putting her things in the trunk, and Thalia did just that once the sound of the car opening rang through the covered parking lot. Then she stubbed out her cigarette under her boot heel and got in the car.

⥎  
⥐ 

Once at the Foxhole Court, Thalia stepped out of the car and headed inside after Andrew. She looked at the big stadium in awe, though she didn't say anything. He didn't tell Thalia the code, but she watched his fingers tap away at the numbers. She remembered those, storing them in her mind for use another day.

Andrew walked into the locker room, looking as bored as he always seemed to. Thalia followed him, going to look at the photos on the wall when he told her to stay there and walked off. 

Many were newspaper clippings or professionally taken photos of the team, though there were a few that were clearly taken by the team and put up for sentimental purposes. Thalia didn't see the point in things like that, but looking at these people she could see how happy they were.

"Thalia? it's good to see you again." a voice came from Thalia's back. She turned around, startled by the intruder. "Sorry, did I scare you?" Wymack asked, sounding genuinely worried. Thalia didn't reply, just schooling her features and waiting for the man to speak again. She hoped he didn't notice the fact that she was slowly edging back towards the wall.

"Anyway. We're in the middle of practice at the moment, but I can pull the team out to meet you. Or I can get someone to take you on a tour of the stadium. It's your choice." Wymack said. Thalia just shrugged, really not caring. "Alright. Team out it is. Then Renee can show you around. And after that, if you feel up to it, you can join us for practice."

Thalia followed the man into the stadium and heard the balls hitting the plexiglass walls before she could see it. "Welcome to the Foxhole Court, Thalia Warden." Wymack said, standing by Thalia's side. She tensed up at being so close to the man, but allowed herself to enjoy the moment.

The team was practicing in perfect synchrony. The two strikers attacked the backliners, who blocked every shot they could, and performed checks Thalia had wanted to see for months. At one end of the court, stood in the goal, was a woman who defended it like her life depended on it. Renee Walker was someone Thalia knew she could score on, but she wasn't the one Thalia needed to beat.

Wymack banged his fist on the glass, getting his team's attention. They all stopped and looked his way. Within seconds, they were moving. Thalia tensed her shoulders, nervous at all the people moving towards her at once, but she stayed calm on the outside.

"Hey, you must be Thalia," one of the girls said. She'd taken off her helmet and was smiling, despite the sweat staining her face. Danielle Wilds was the first female captain in Class 1 NCAA history, and she was a beast on the court. Not taking anyone's shit probably helped with that, and Thalia respected the woman.

"Yes." Thalia said, a small smile on her face. Once Dan realised she wasn't getting anything more out of Thalia, she turned to her team and began introducing them.

"This is Matt, Nicky and Aaron, our backliners," Dan said, pointing to each of the boys as she spoke. "Allison and me are the dealers," Allison eyed Thalia carefully. She was replacing Allison's late boyfriend, Seth Gordon, after all. "Renee and Andrew are our goalkeepers," Renee smiled and waved a little. "And Kevin and Neil, who you'll be playing striker with." Neil gave Thalia a head nod, but Kevin narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, looking Thalia up and down. She was uncomfortable by the path of his eyes, but didn't speak.

"Nice to meet you all." Thalia said. "Renee, Wymack said you'd give me a tour." Renee looked to the coach who nodded. Dan looked disappointed that Thalia hadn't seemed more excited about meeting them, but it was just the way she worked. 

Renee put down her helmet and took off her gloves and neck padding. Thalia followed the rainbow-haired woman out of the inner court, and heard someone mutter something they thought was quiet enough for nobody to hear; 'Great, we've got another Andrew on our hands.'


	5. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
> 
> 'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness  
> Like resignation to the end, always the end  
> So when we found that we could not make sense  
> Well you said that we would still be friends  
> But I'll admit that I was glad it was over'

Moving into the Spear household was tough for Thalia. Every time she arrived at a new foster home, she was already planning to run away. This time, though. She couldn't. Not with the risk of going to juvie hanging over her head. She didn't want that anymore than she wanted to stay in the same place for too long.

Cass had been comforting and welcoming, not getting upset when Thalia came home later than expected. She didn't care that Thalia always took her food to her room and only came out to go to school or the bathroom.

Richard was always at work, and generally harmless, so there was nothing for Thalia to worry about. Until their son come home. Drake wasn't kind to Thalia. Around his parents he'd act brotherly, but when they were gone, it was a whole different story.

The first few weeks Thalia didn't put up with his shit. She hid away and did her own thing, but then Drake knocked on her door one afternoon and she didn't have any choice but to let him in. Drake was a big man. He'd find a way in with or without Thalia's permission.

"Hey kiddo," Drake cooed, a grin on his face. "Want some?" he held up a bottle of vodka from behind his back. Thalia grinned. Things were finally getting interesting and worthwhile. Drake took that as a yes and came to sit on the edge of her bed.

"Thanks. But don't call me kiddo," Drake laughed at that. Thalia took the bottle and opened the cap, taking a swig. "Oh yeah. That's the good stuff." he laughed again, taking the bottle from Thalia.

"Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to ask you something." Drake said. Thalia put away the homework she'd been doing, an indication for him to continue. "I'm starting up a business. Trying to get away from the Marine stuff. I wanted to know if you wanted to join. You could be co-CEO or something." Drake laughed again.

Thalia frowned. She hadn't been expecting this from him. Though she hadn't known Drake or his parents for long, Thalia had picked up on the fact that he wasn't exactly the businessman type. She also found the fact that he was laughing a lot alarming.

"Um, I don't know. I was thinking of going to an art school or something after I graduate. Not business." Thalia said, inching back toward the wall. She was beginning to get nervous, and Drake could tell. He stood and headed to to the door.

"Yeah, I understand. No, it's alright." He said, taking the vodka with him. But instead of leaving the room, Drake put the vodka on Thalia's dresser and closed the door, locking it from the inside.

Thalia had been thankful for the lock those first few weeks, having her own privacy was nice. Now, though, she felt like a rabbit cornered by a Fox. And she didn't like that feeling at all.

⥎  
⥐

"That's our court." Renee said as she finished the tour. She turned to Thalia with a smile. "Any questions? Comments? Concerns?"

"If I'd had questions comments or concerns, I would have voiced them earlier." Thalia said with her arms crossed.

Truth was, Thalia had been amazed by both the size of the stadium and the facilities it offered. There wasn't much, but the locker rooms and all the gear that had Thalia's name and number eleven printed on it had made her ecstatic.

"Okay. Well, do you want to come practice? Or would you like Andrew to take you to the dorms?" Renee asked, still hopeful to create a friendship with Thalia. All the younger girl did was walk back into the locker room. Renee didn't follow, and Thalia was thankful.

The orange shirt over her armour and padding made Thalia well with pride. Everyone but officer Higgins had never believed Thalia would amount to anything. Not even she had believed in herself, and now that she was here, standing in her uniform, about to join her team for the first time, Thalia chest swelled with pride and gratefulness for Higgins for not giving up on her.

Thalia stepped into the court with her helmet and gloves in hand to see the team once again at practice. She took a moment to watch them. They moved seamlessly together in the middle of a scrimmage. 

Allison and Dan were acting as strikers on one team, with Matt as their only backliner and Andrew in goal. Kevin and Neil together were on the other side of the court, Aaron and Nicky behind them, and Renee getting back into her position at the goal.

Wymack was standing outside the box, watching his team, but heard Thalia's approach and hit his hand against the glass, getting the players' attention before walking over to Thalia. "Hey kiddo, you ready?" Thalia tensed all over, remembering the last time someone had called her that. 

"Yeah," she choked out, along with a minute nod. Wymack smiled and led her to the closest door, which Renee was holding open. Thalia looked at the other girl who was smiling through her helmet and gave a short smile in reply.

"You go up to half-court. Switch with Dan. She'll go back with Matt." Thalia nodded at Wymack's words. Then Renee closed the door behind her and it was like all the air was sucked out of the glass box. Thalia stood in shock for a few minutes, before Renee's voice cut her out of her haze and she walked away, not replying to the girl's questions. 

Dan walked backwards and got into the backliner position, while Thalia stood opposite Nicky and next to Kevin. "You better not screw up this season for us," Kevin said grumpily, which Thalia didn't reply to. If the best striker in exy history was going to badmouth Thalia, she was going to show him how good she could be.


	6. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOOKING AT ME
> 
> 'Don't just stand there staring, honey  
> Try to move your feet  
> If you think they looking at you  
> They looking at me'

Despite being tired, Thalia practiced with the team the whole day. It seemed to wake her up, playing exy. Even after the rest of the Foxes left the stadium, Thalia decided to stay. She said she'd catch a ride back with Wymack, after asking the coach if that was okay. Wymack just nodded, saying he had paperwork to fill in.

So Thalia stood there, scooping up balls in the net of her racquet and throwing them directly at the center of the goal. Her gaze and full attention was focused on one point and was startled into dropping her racquet when a fist pounded on the glass. Wymack stood there, tapping his wrist and then jerking a thumb to the exit. 

Thalia nodded and took off her helmet. She was panting, and hadn't realised before now that she was so tired. Wymack entered the court to help pick up the balls, and once they were all in the buckets Thalia had brought into the court with her, Wymack took them to the equipment cupboard while Thalia went to the showers. 

She peeled off her gear and stood under the hot water. Back at the homes, she didn't have to worry about sharing a space with someone. There was that level of privacy here as well, with shower stalls, but when changing out with the rest of the girls on the team, Thalia would have to stand in the locker room. 

They'd see all the scars on her body. All the ripped skin and burned flesh. The injuries might not hurt anymore, but Thalia hated looking at her body. There were many reasons for that thought process, but the scars were the largest part of Thalia's hatred. She didn't want to look at herself and see what they saw. Didn't want to let herself see her body the way they saw it.

⥎  
⥐

The day she'd arrived had been a Saturday, so the Sunday was the day Thalia really moved in. When Thalia had arrived at the dorm room she was sharing with the other girls it had been late, and all three of them had been asleep. Thalia didn't mind, and she didn't want to disturb them, so she dumped her bag by the couch and curled up in the corner of the room, her back pressed into where the walls met and her knees pressed to her chest.

"Do you think she's actually asleep?" came a whisper-shout. Thalia kept her eyes closed.

"Is she dead?" came another.

"No, Allison. She's breathing, look." that was definitely Renee. 

Thalia forced her eyelids open. By principle she was a light sleeper. The haunting of nightmares and the threat of those around her made her that way. Thalia stood, cracking her bones and stretching her muscles as she did. The older girls moved back from where they'd been standing over Thalia.

"Not dead." Thalia said simply, and walked into the kitchen. The girls didn't say anything, and at least one of them followed her. Thalia reached up to one of the shelves, looking for a mug, and her shirt must have ridden up because there was a sharp intake of breath. Thalia looked to see Dan looking at her hip. Thalia frowned and pulled the shirt down. "Where are the cups."

Dan was startled, but swallowed her questions and pointed to a cabinet. Thalia opened it and found what she was looking for. Silence encompassed the room as Thalia began making herself a cup of tea. She was glad the girls even had tea, because they hadn't taken Thalia as big drinkers of the stuff.

It didn't take Thalia long to get annoyed by the attention on her and she turned to the older girls. "Alcohol." Thalia asked. Dan frowned at her now. It was unusual to be drinking this early in the morning. Thalia knew that. But she needed just a little bit to take the edge off everything that was happening in her life right now. "Alcohol." she said again.

"It's in the fridge! we only keep white in the dorm." Allison called from the living room, obviously having heard Thalia's request. "You don't like that, go see Kevin two doors down. He'll probably have something stronger. He likes vodka and whiskey." Thalia's eyes glowed with that comment. She took off down the hall before Dan could say anything else. 

Wymack had pointed out who lived in which dorm last night as he'd brought Thalia back to her own, and so she knocked heavily on the one she remembered was Kevin's. It took a few minutes for someone to answer, and even then, it wasn't the player she was hoping to see.

"What do you want this fucking early?" Nicky said angrily, rubbing a hand over his face. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of ways, and his eyes were narrowed from not being used to the light yet. He'd obviously just woken up.

"Kevin. Alcohol." Thalia said and held up her mug of tea that was cooling down by this point. Nicky sighed and let her in. "Thanks." she walked into the dorm. There were a few beanbags in front of the tv, but no sofa. The desks were pushed up against a wall, and apart from a mirror, there was nothing else to decorate the room.

"He keeps his stash under his bed," Nicky said. "He thinks we don't know where it is. But it's pretty obvious." Thalia was tense because Nicky was behind her. She didn't like that, but had a cup of hot tea in her hand that she wouldn't hesitate to use if things went south. "I'll be right back. You got a preference?" Thalia shrugged, not really caring. She didn't like wine. That was her only objection, and the reason she'd left her dorm for Kevin's personal stash.

When Nicky reappeared, he seemed slightly defeated and was being followed by Kevin Day. Thalia didn't know much about him, other than the fact that he'd grown up with Tetsuji Moriyama, who had created exy with Kevin's mother. He'd played the game most of his life, and was the best striker in exy history. Even with the hand injury that had cost him his career.

"I wanted to see the bitch who wanted ins on my liquor stash," Kevin said to Thalia's raised eyebrow. "One time, Warden. You prove yourself on the court, and I might let you have more." Kevin handed a bottle of vodka to Nicky and went back to the bedroom after stink-eyeing Thalia's smirk.

"Here you go then, I guess. But aren't you a little young for this?" Nicky said, hesitantly handing over the alcohol. Thalia took it and uncapped the bottle, not saying anything in response to Nicky's question, and pouring a substantial amount into her mug. Then she handed the bottle back to Nicky.

"Thanks." she said and headed out of the room and back to her own. When Thalia was back in her dorm, Dan smiled at her and asked if she wanted to mover her stuff in. "Sure, I guess." Thalia said, taking a sip of her drink. She winced at the taste. Either the tea bags or the whiskey were out of date, and Thalia guessed it wasn't the alcohol. By the sounds of it, Kevin drank regularly. There was no way any of his stuff would go out of date by the time he'd finished it.

"So that's your bed. You can go out and buy some sheets today." Dan said. Thalia froze. The bed Dan was pointing to only had the headboard against a wall. That wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.

"No." Dan looked confused by Thalia's words. "I told Wymack I'd play for him if my bed had a wall against it. This isn't what I meant." Thalia pointed at the bed. "That is, though." she motioned towards the top bunk bed on the other side of the room. "So either I switch with whoever's bed that is, or I don't play." Dan was silent.

"Renee," Dan called. The girl popped into the doorway, humming and with a smile on her face. "Is it okay if you and Thalia switch beds?" Renee looked at Thalia and nodded. "Thanks Renee." 

"I'll move my stuff while you're out shopping. You can just put your bag on the bed for now." Renee said. Thalia didn't say that she was taking it with her, but nodded in thanks that Renee had agreed to switch without question. Thalia took her bag into the bathroom and looked away from the mirror as she changed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. The team seemed understanding of Thalia's habits, even if she didn't open up about anything, and didn't seem to mind her distance. She was beginning to think this was one of the best decisions she'd made. She was just hoping she didn't speak too early.


	7. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RELAX
> 
> 'You just gotta learn to relax  
> Gotta get off my back  
> Nothing wrong with my intentions,  
> You just gotta learn to relax  
> You just gotta sit back  
> Nothing wrong with imperfection'

After seeing her practice the night before, Wymack had given Thalia a set of keys to the court the next day when she came in for her physical examination. The exact reason she hadn't joined a team at any of her schools was the physical. The idea that someone would see the scars littering her body terrified Thalia, and made her want to scream.

But she had no choice. If she didn't do this, she'd have to go back to the Spear's for the rest of her days as a legal teenager, and she didn't know if she could deal with that. So Thalia went to the court on Sunday afternoon and did her physical with Abby. It was the first time Thalia had met the nurse, and she seemed friendly, but Thalia trusted any new person as far as she could throw them.

"Alright, now I'm going to need you to take off your shirt," Abby said once she'd taken height and weight, along with other things like blood. Thalia tensed, though she knew this would happen. She didn't do it at first, and Abby sighed. "I just need to see if you have any track marks or anything."

"I'll do it," Thalia said, her voice even, though she was worried about what the woman's reaction would be. "But I have three rules." Abby frowned but nodded. "No comments, no pity, and no touching." Abby nodded again, and Thalia peeled off her shirt. Abby looked startled, but didn't say anything, as Thalia had asked.

"So do I have any?" Thalia said with an expressionless voice and an emotionless face. Abby swallowed hard and shook her head, turning away. Thalia put her shirt back on without a word. Abby told her that the blood work would be back in two days, and Thalia left without another comment.

⥎  
⥐

"Hey kiddo," Drake called from the living room. Thalia tensed her shoulders and sucked in a breath. She had been dreading this moment for the past few days. "Come down here. There's someone I want you to meet."

Thalia slowly made her way from her bedroom on the second level of the house to the living room. Drake was sitting on the sofa with his back to Thalia. Someone sat opposite him, so Thalia saw the man's face immediately. He was probably a little older than Drake, but something about the feel of the room made Thalia know that Drake was the superior one in this situation. He always was.

"Sit," Drake said. Thalia perched on the edge of the sofa next to the big man, her feet ready to jump into action if she needed to get away. "This is Mister Bates. He's going to be the product supplier of my new company. You know, the one I told you about." Thalia only nodded, knowing Drake's rule of only speaking when told to. He hadn't told her to speak just yet, though Thalia figured he would soon.

"And you'll take me up on that offer?" He asked. Thalia nodded again, much more hesitantly this time. Drake wanted Thalia to integrate more with his friends. Cass would see it as a way of brother-sister bonding, considering Thalia didn't many of her own friends.

"It was lovely meeting you, Miss Warden." Mr. Bates said as he stood and walked out the front door. He was acting polite, though Thalia knew it was an act. Mr. Bates seemed smart enough to know what was going on with the two, but was smart enough not to speak, all the while. When he was gone, Drake turned on Thalia and brought his hand out, slapping her across the cheek.

"I could see you wanting to speak," he hissed as he walked away. "come on, you bitch." Thalia swallowed and followed him up the stairs to her bedroom. She didn't want to. But she knew what would happen if she didn't.

⥎  
⥐

Thalia stared at the piece of paper in front of her, not knowing what to write. She was drafting her letter to the judge, and so far, all she'd written was 'Dear Judgey, here's my three year plan.' She'd edit it later.

"Hey, you alright?" Dan's voice asked as the door closed behind her. Thalia sighed and put her head in her hands. She'd spent three days in this dorm now, and was beginning to feel comfortable around the girls. The boys weren't as welcoming, however, and apart from Matt, Dan's boyfriend, she tended not to associate with anyone outside her dorm.

"I don't know what to write." Thalia grumbled and put down her pencil. She stood and walked to the kitchen where Dan was getting out things to make a sandwich. Thalia stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame with her arms crossed. "I have to write a letter to a judge with a three year plan of my life." Dan looked confused.

"What?" she asked. "Why do you have to do that? Oh my god, have you been to juvie?" she seemed startled by the fact, and Thalia snorted. She shook her head and Dan calmed enough to spread butter over her bread. "Then what's it for?"

"You don't want to know, trust me." Thalia said. Truth was she just didn't want to tell her. She didn't want her team knowing what little of a past she had, so she told them lies. Something she was so used to doing by this point that she didn't even have to blink before spitting out another lie or half-truth. It came naturally.

"Well if you tell me I might be able to help you." Dan said, obviously wanting to build some sort of relationship with Thalia. It wasn't going to work. There was a knock at the door and Thalia went to answer it. As far as she knew, Allison and Renee were still in class, and Dan was only back at the dorm to get her books for the next class. So or was a surprise seeing Nicky at the door.

"Hey Thalia," Nicky said, voice and smile equally as bright as the other. "I was wondering if you wanted to come out with the twins, Kevin, Neil and I on Friday. You know, to get to know each other better." Thalia looked at him with a blank look, but Dan came into the room shaking her head and making noise.

"Nicholas, you are not taking her there. Not after what you did to Matt last year." Dan said around her sandwich. She pointed at Nicky and he recoiled a little. Thalia was confused as she looked between the two. "We are not having a repeat of that. And we're not having a repeat of Neil, either. That boy shouldn't have felt the need to hitchhike back to campus." Dan shook her head, obviously disappointed.

"You know none of this is my idea, Dan," Nicky looked sad. "I didn't want to do that to Matt. You know I didn't. But Andrew thought he needed to do that he could get Aaron clean." Thalia's eyes widened.

"You have drugs on campus?" she asked. It was a serious question, but the two older people seemed to have forgotten Thalia was there, and both looked surprised to hear from her. "I'm serious. Do you have any?"

"What? no, are you crazy?" Nicky said, and it was his turn to frown. "Why? would you tell on us, or are you asking because you want some?" Thalia smirked and shrugged. She knew where to get some stuff if she needed it, but having another supplier would be nice. 

"I've gotta go, anyhow." Thalia said, grabbing her keys from the side table by the door and pushing past Nicky into the hallway. "Sure, I'll go with you to wherever, just tell me what time, and I'll be ready." she didn't stay to listen to Nicky's answer as she walked down the hall and down the stairs to the outside of the building.


	8. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BAD
> 
> 'I'm giving you  
> On count of three  
> To show your stuff  
> Or let it be'

Thalia ran to the court and took out her racquet after gearing up. She walked to half-court and put out some balls for her to throw at the wall ahead of her. Thalia imagined a goalkeeper in front of the lines as she always did. In her mind, it was a big man with a mean snarl. Like a tough dog. 

She hurled ball after ball at the goal, racquet switching hands every so often. Being ambidextrous made it useful on the court for Thalia. She was able to easily switch between left and right handed, and was equally good at both, so there wasn't really a dominant or non-dominant hand for her. 

There was a sudden knock on the glass and Thalia dropped the ball she was currently holding, about to throw to the goal. She took off her helmet and looked to the site of obstruction. Kevin stood outside the box, looking awestruck, and Andrew wasn't far behind him, arms crossed and face in a cruel, fake smile.

Thalia tensed at the sight and thought of them alone. The fact that they'd been able to sneak up on her so easily wasn't settling either. She'd prided herself on the fact that it had been difficult for that to happen. Maybe she was losing her touch. But two days around people who hadn't tried to attack her yet shouldn't have done that.

Kevin entered the court, arms outstretched and shock and annoyance on his face. "The fuck was that?!" he demanded. Thalia didn't know how to answer, so she simply didn't. "The fuck was that?!" he repeated.

"Have you been drinking, Kevin?" Thalia said, sarcastically. "I think you need to go sober up before you come yelling things at me." Kevin scoffed as he made his way over to Thalia. He pointed at her, and she hoped he didn't see the small flinch she made as his hard eyes settled on her face.

"You're ambidextrous," it was more of a statement than a question, so Thalia raised her chin as he approached, instead of answering. "And you didn't fucking tell me?"

"I wasn't aware of the fact that I needed to." she replied. Kevin laughed and ran a hand through his black hair. He shook his head and walked around, as if figuring out what he should do with this information. Thalia just stood there, blank look on her face, waiting for Kevin to say something.

"Stay here." Kevin said, holding up a finger as he jogged off the court. Thalia shook her head and put her helmet back on, getting back to practice. She focused on the spot in the center of the goal until someone stood there. She straightened and held up her arms in a gesture of annoyance.

Andrew stood on the other side of the glass wall, hands in his pockets and blank stare on his face. It obviously strained him to look like that, with the influence of his medicine. He didn't move though, and Thalia took that as an invitation to keep practicing. She wouldn't turn her back on him and practice on the other goal, so she wanted to see him flinch.

The first few shots, Andrew moved out of the way, but then he seemed to get the hang of her patterns, and was able to determine where they were coming from. He moved before they got to their spot, and Thalia found it frustrating. She'd switch between hands more often, trying to throw Andrew off, but he even knew where those were going.

Thalia got annoyed, and ended up leaving the court just as Kevin stepped on. She left the balls on the court for him, and he angrily told her to get back on the court when she pushed past him through the door.

"Where are you going?" Kevin called after Thalia. She didn't answer, and just took off her helmet, and then her gloves. She left her racquet on the home bench and walked angrily into the changing room. She took off her gear and left it on the bench as she stepped into the shower, towel and clean clothes with her.

⥎  
⥐

Friday came around sooner than Thalia had hoped for. By then, the fact that she was ambidextrous had gotten around the team. They were all begging for her to show them, and Thalia gave them a simple answer of 'no.' each time as she continued practicing. 

Dan had tried talking her out of going to Columbia with Andrew's lot many times over the week, and she'd ended up snapping. "Dan, it's not your choice. You may not have known what you were getting into last year with them, but I can guarantee you, I've dealt with much worse than Andrew Minyard."

"Just be careful, alright?" Dan sighed, eventually giving up as Thalia finished her makeup on Friday night. "Don't give him anything he could use against you. Nothing incriminating. And don't let him get you drunk."

"I may be seventeen, but I have a high alcohol tolerance." Thalia told the older girl. Dan looked worried. "And anything they can find on me is probably incriminating. They probably think I'm a druggie because of how I reacted to what Nicky said last Sunday, and they wouldn't be completely wrong." Dan seemed horrified. Thalia shrugged and put on red lipstick. "I'm clean, don't worry. Just smoke now."

There was a knock on the door and Thalia straightened, getting her purse off the side table. She opened the door to a smiling Nicky. He looked excited, despite what Thalia had heard about how he didn't want to be part of this situation.

"Well, don't you look nice," Nicky complimented. Thalia refrained from hitting Nicky across the face. She wasn't used to being complimented just because. There was always something someone wanted when she was told she 'looked nice'. Though somehow, Thalia had a feeling Nicky really meant it.

"Thank you." was all Thalia replied with. "I'll see you later, Dan." Allison and Renee were out somewhere, so Thalia only had to deal with the Foxes' Captain. She followed Nicky down the hall and out to the carpark in silence as he rambled on, explaining what seemed to Thalia like a life story. That was how much detail Nicky put into his storytelling.

Nicky told Thalia she'd have to sit between the twins, and she figured that'd be fine. Andrew was leaning on the side of his car smoking, and when Thalia got into the middle seat, he slid in next to her, closing the door. Thalia looked behind her and tensed when she saw Neil sitting in the boot of the car. He gave his hand in a half-wave.

"Sorry about that, Neil," Nicky said as he adjusted the rearview mirror and his seat. "We just didn't have enough seats." Neil didn't reply, but Thalia kept on edge for the whole ride.

Music played loudly in the car and Thalia stayed completely still between the twins. Andrew looked shaky, and Thalia knew those had to be symptoms of withdrawl, but didn't say anything. Andrew had acted differently all evening. No happy smiles. No snarky comments. She knew her words wouldn't be appreciated, and quite frankly, she wanted to see where this went.

They pulled into a diner called Sweetie's, and Thalia frowned. "I didn't think we'd be coming to a diner." nobody answered her, but Nicky smiled in the mirror as he got out. Thalia followed Aaron out the side of the car, and waited for the rest as he opened the boot for Neil to get out.

"This is just a pitstop on the way," Nicky said as he hung back to walk with Thalia. "An entrée, if you will." Thalia nodded, still not certain about why they were here. 

The six of them cut through the line and walked straight into the diner. Andrew headed for the salad bar, but Nicky steered Thalia to a booth with the rest of the group. She was sat in the corner, with Neil and Aaron on her left. The positions made her uncomfortable, but Thalia couldn't speak up about it.

Andrew soon returned to the table, and a waitress came by. Nicky handed back the menus she passed out, saying they'd have the usual. Thalia frowned. She didn't like where this conversation was going.

"So, Thalia," Nicky said with a smile. "You're from California, right? Which part?" Thalia didn't answer the question right away, and so Nicky moved on, not taking offense. She'd been playing with the Foxes for a week now and hardly spoke to any of them during practice. He'd obviously been expecting not much conversation from Thalia.

"When did you start playing?" Kevin asked, seeming only slightly interested. He'd seen her play with both hands days ago, but Thalia had a feeling he thought he was hallucinating. He probably thought it wasn't real because every other day that week she'd played strictly right-handed. 

"Six months ago." Thalia said. Kevin narrowed his eyes and Aaron snorted. Thalia looked to her side at him and he raised an eyebrow.

"Nobody's as good as you are after only six months of playing." Aaron said. "Neil recommended you himself. There's no way he would've done that if you weren't good. He knows how badly we're failing." Thalia looked across Aaron at Neil, who seemed very interested in the edge of the table.

"Yeah, which brings up another question," Nicky interrupted as the food arrived. He smiled at the waitress in thanks as she placed a pile of napkins in the middle of the table. "How do you two know each other?" Thalia was passed a bowl, and as she looked down, she saw ice cream. They came here for ice cream.

"I don't know him." Thalia said as she picked up a spoon. Andrew scattered the napkins, revealing packets of something. "What's that?" she asked. Andrew looked into her eyes as he pocketed the packets, splitting open one and pouring its contents into his mouth. Thalia realised she wasn't getting an answer to her question, and so she focused on eating her food.

"I didn't even know if she was playing. It was a guess." Neil said from the end of the table. Thalia didn't look up from her bowl, but listened in. "We knew each other when we were younger. She'd been playing then. Only a little though." Thalia frowned silently, hoping the boys attention wasn't on her, but knowing it was.

They didn't ask anymore questions, however, and soon enough, they'd finished their food and were back on the road. Nicky claimed they were heading to a club called Eden's Twilight, and Thalia knew there was bound to be trouble, if anything Dan had told her would amount to anything.


	9. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE
> 
> 'We didn't start the fire  
> It was always burning  
> Since the world's been turning  
> We didn't start the fire  
> No we didn't light it  
> But we tried to fight it'

When they arrived at Eden's, Nicky told everyone to get out. Aaron got a VIP parking pass from one of the bouncers and gave it to his cousin, who drove off. The others walked in, past the line, and found a table to stand at. Andrew left to get drinks, and Kevin pushed Thalia to follow him. Neil looked uncomfortable staying where he was, like he had an itch to follow the blonde boy.

"What do you want?" Andrew asked, tone flat. It was unusual for Thalia to hear him like that. She was so used to the medicated Andrew that hearing his tone change was almost jarring. She wasn't used to it, and she went rigid all over. 

"Whatever is the strongest." Thalia replied simply. A bartender came up to them and started a conversation with Andrew like they were good friends. Thalia took a shot before it was even put on the tray, and then walked off, not waiting for Andrew. She made it back to the table and Nicky was there, chatting with Aaron about something Thalia didn't care about. She turned to Neil instead.

"What do you mean we knew each other when we were younger?" she demanded. Neil looked at Thalia. She noticed the brown eye contacts he usually wore were gone, replaced instead by startlingly blue eyes. Thalia waited for an answer. "Why did you recommend me to Wymack?"

"We were friends once. Back in Millport. Then you and your parents moved away. We didn't keep in contact, but I remembered that you played exy, and when coach asked if I knew anyone who'd play for us, I recommended you. It's why I came to see you in California." Neil explained. Thalia didn't believe a minute of his explanation, but nodded nonetheless. She'd find out the truth later, when she wasn't in a bar surrounded by drunks and people trying to be.

Andrew arrived with the drinks, and took out the packets he'd taken from Sweetie's. He split them between the boys, excluding Neil, and offered one to Thalia. "What is it?" she repeated her question from earlier, though she was already reaching for it. Andrew let her take it and Thalia watched as the others opened theirs and put its contents in their mouths, before taking a shot to help the stuff go down. 

Thalia copied them, and was startled a little by the effect. "Woah," she said quietly. "That's good. But not as strong as the stuff I'm used to." After a few more drinks, Nicky and Aaron made their way to the dancefloor, leaving Thalia with Neil, Andrew and Kevin. She noticed Neil wasn't drinking. "Sober driver?" she asked, sarcastically.

"Go and dance," Andrew said. Thalia raised an eyebrow. "Neil's only been with us a few times, but he's made it clear he doesn't. And neither do I. Kevin doesn't anymore either. So go have fun with Nicky and Aaron." 

"I think that's the most you've spoken to me all week." Thalia said, starting to feel whatever effect the drugs she'd taken were having. "What do you mean Kevin doesn't dance anymore?" she looked to the taller man who only shrugged. "Oh come on, you can go one night." Thalia grabbed Kevin's hand and pulled him onto the floor, despite his protests and attempts to get back to the table.

"No, Thalia. I don't know how to dance. That's why I don't." Kevin said, trying to pull away. She scoffed and put Kevin's hands on her waist as she swayed to the music. Thalia didn't know why she was acting this way. She didn't usually, not even under the influence of harder drugs. Maybe it was because she wanted to. What did she want though, exactly? to prove Kevin wasn't as stuck up and exy-oriented as he made himself out to be? or to get to know him better one of the only ways she knew how?

"That's okay." Thalia said. "Just put your hands here," she readjusted him after he tried pulling away. "And sway to the music." Thalia moved her hips in time with the beat and put her arms around Kevin's neck.

It was awkward for a few moments, but then Kevin started letting himself go. He moved to the music and Thalia smiled at him. Genuinely. Something she hadn't done in months. 

⥎  
⥐

Thalia stood in the corner of an alleyway, waiting with her arms crossed and a hand cradling the cigarette she was holding. It was hard to distinguish who she was waiting for, but the large man found her easily. He'd been given a description of her that all their informants and suppliers were given; short, cute girl, grey coat, usually found smoking.

"You Warden?" he asked, voice gruff from years of smoking himself. Thalia nodded and stubbed out her butt on the ground. He looked around before taking out the bag he was carrying and handing it to Thalia. She in turn passed over a large bag full of money. He opened the bag, and that second let Thalia escape. 

She ran down the alley and up over the bins, onto the roof and away from the crook. The money was real, and so was the trade, but Thalia had trained not to stay around anyone for too long. This was her own stash. She didn't want Drake knowing about her own private buys, or the fact that she was technically stealing from him. 

She stashed the drugs under the house and walked around the side to get to the front door. She steadied her breath before entering the house. He couldn't think she was hiding something, so it was a good thing Thalia was great at lying.

Luckily, Drake wasn't home, so she headed up to her bedroom and locked the door. Thalia smiled and lay back on her bed. It felt good to do something illegal for her own personal good, rather than for someone else. She hadn't had the opportunity in weeks. She remembered the last car she stole as if it were yesterday. She remembered Pig Higgins' last visit. He wouldn't be returning until it was time to pick Thalia up for her court hearing and the presentation of her three year plan.

She still had months before that was due, however, so Thalia put it off for as long as she could, and headed down to the rec center. The old lady that worked at reception didn't question the fact that Thalia should be at school, and let her into the exy court. Thalia thanked her and pulled on the gear that was shared communally. It was disgusting, but the only way she was allowed to play. 

The stick Thalia always used was there, and she picked up a bucket of balls, heading into the court. She let out a breath and picked up ball after ball, hitting it to the goal. She was getting good. Really good. But it would be even better if she had someone to practice with.


	10. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AIN'T NO REST FOR THE WICKED
> 
> 'There ain't nothing in this world for free  
> Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back  
> Though you know, I wish I could  
> Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked  
> Until we close our eyes for good'

Thalia stepped out the back door of the club, already reaching into her purse for her pack of cigarettes. She pulled it out along with a lighter and brought a stick up to her lips. She cradled the flame as it burnt the paper and then put it back in her bag.

"You know, those aren't good for you," Thalia looked to the voice, and scoffed when she saw Andrew with his arms crossed. He was watching her, but it seemed more calculating and questioning than predatory.

"Hypocrite." Thalia mumbled as she blew out smoke. Andrew shrugged and pushed himself off the wall, making his way over to her. She tensed her shoulders at his approach. Andrew narrowed his eyes.

"You think nobody notices it when you do that." he said. "But I don't miss it. I know that stance. That defensive front you put on. So who hurt you?" Thalia recoiled a little at his question. She knew she hadn't been particularly discreet about her reactions to things, but the fact that Andrew had picked up the fact that Thalia had been hurt was something she hadn't been expecting.

"Excuse me?" Thalia asked, though she'd heard him perfectly clear. Andrew didn't repeat his question, and she only sighed. Thalia took another drag of her cigarette before answering. She needed the time to think.

"It's nothing, really. I got into the wrong sort of crowd back in California. Not willingly, of course." She added to Andrew's shift in glance. "They're the ones who got me into the drugs and stuff. I got myself clean before I came here though. I was planning to leave California once I turned eighteen, so I wanted to start over. No more drugs. No more dealing. Took a month, but I'm good now."

Andrew didn't say anything to Thalia's response, obviously not believing it was the truth, or at least the whole truth. He took the cigarette from her fingers and took a drag, before stomping it out on the ground. "That doesn't answer my question." he said, looking Thalia in the eye. "Who hurt you?" he repeated, slower this time.

"It's none of your business," Thalia said, taking out another cigarette and putting it between her teeth. "Now, I came out here to be alone. So if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get back to that." Andrew left her, and Thalia was grateful, though she'd somehow hoped he'd stay.

⥎  
⥐

On Saturday, when Thalia was back at the Fox Tower, Dan hounded her with questions about how she was. If she was feeling alright. Did they give her anything? In the end Thalia just took the pamphlet for subjects and left the dorm. She went to sign up for her art classes, figuring she'd have to do it sometime soon. 

At practice the following Monday, she got a call during their break. She didn't even have to look at the caller ID. She knew the only person who'd call her.

"What do you want, Pig?" Thalia answered with a huff. "You do realise I'm at University now, right? And that I'm part of a sports team? That means practice. And practice means right now." Her teammates looked at Thalia oddly. She hadn't acted this way around them. Cold. Detached. She'd tried to be better with those sorts of things. But seeing Thalia act this way was obviously disorienting for them all.

"There's an investigation opening on Richard Spear for-"

"Don't you dare fucking finish that sentence, Phil." Thalia interjected warningly. "I know what you're about to tell me, and I don't like where it's going. So shut the hell up, and leave me alone." Thalia hung up and threw her phone on the ground. It didn't ring again. She ran her hands through her hair, messing it up, and started pacing the foyer.

"The hell was that, Thalia?" Wymack asked. She didn't answer, just kept walking. "Thalia, answer my question now, or I'll bench you for the next game." She rounded on him then.

"That'd be my first game you're benching me on, Coach." Thalia said, an evil smile on her face. She shook her head. "You wouldn't do that." Wymack raised an eyebrow and heard his own phone ringing. Thalia wanted the smash it into pieces, but she stayed where she was. 

"Coach Wymack, Palmetto State University. Say again?" Wymack said from his office. "One moment." Then he walked over to the men's changing room and kicked open the door. "Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?" Thalia frowned.

"It wasn't me, it was the one armed man!" Andrew said from inside the changing room. There couldn't be a coincidence that right after Thalia was called, Andrew also got a call. 

"The Oakland PD want to talk to you." Wymack said, making Thalia's blood go cold. There was absolutely no coincidence. "So I'll ask again, what have you done?" Andrew emerged from the changing room and walked down the hall to the foyer. Wymack followed him.

"There's an officer Higgins on the line wanting to speak to you." Wymack said. Andrew went stiff all over and took the phone out of his hands.

"Ah, Pig, why are you calling me?" Andrew said, that cheer back in his voice that only made Thalia freeze with realisation. Not only was Andrew a foster kid just like her, but he'd lived in the same house. Under the same rules. She needed to get out of there. She needed to breathe.

"I can't be here right now," Thalia said as she inched out of the room. As she passed Andrew she took the phone out of his hand. "Stop trying to contact us, Pig. Neither of us will testify. So fuck off." Then Thalia hung up and smashed the phone on the ground in front of her, stepping on the shattered parts as she walked.

"Thalia!" Wymack called. Nobody else did anything, and Thalia didn't turn around. "Get back here! You're buying me a new fucking phone!" she didn't feel sorry for what she'd just done. "Andrew, go get her," Thalia heard. She knew Andrew wouldn't. He'd come to the same realisation by now. He was an observant person.

"Why would I do that, Coach?" Andrew said. Thalia didn't hear anything else as she walked out of the locker room and into the carpark. She broke into a jog and then a full on sprint. She didn't know where she was going, but ended up at campus. 

Thalia headed up to the dorms and to her room. She flopped on the bed, back to the wall as always, and sighed, closing her eyes. There would be consequences for her actions today, but she didn't care. She just needed sleep. Something she hadn't gotten much of in the past week, or the past year, really. 

It was hard to feel safe when you were always being chased. Always being followed by a past that you don't know about. That's how Thalia felt every waking moment. Like a deer in headlights. A rabbit running from a fox. She found it ironic, since she was technically a fox now. She just didn't feel like one.


	11. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PUMPED UP KICKS
> 
> 'He'll look around the room, he won't tell you his plan  
> He's got a rolled cigarette  
> Hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid  
> Yeah found a six shooter gun  
> In his dad's closet, oh in a box of fun things  
> I don't even know what  
> But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you'

Thalia showed up to practice the next day with a new phone for Wymack and a closed off, lonely attitude. Wymack tried getting an explanation for her actions the day before, but Thalia didn't answer a single one. Wymack eventually figured the effort wasn't worth it and left her alone.

She was smoking behind the Fox Tower after practice when heavy boots rounded the corner. Thalia looked up, slightly on edge when she saw who it was, but Andrew didn't say anything. He took out a cigarette of his own and put it between his lips. They smoked in silence for a few minutes, neither acknowledging the other, before Thalia snapped. 

"So Pig, huh?" she said. Andrew hummed in response, looking away from her. "How many homes?" she asked, knowing it was likely she wouldn't get a response. He didn't answer, as Thalia knew he would, so she stubbed her cigarette on the ground and went to walk away.

"Twelve in thirteen years," he responded, startling Thalia. Andrew still didn't look at her. "You?" she swallowed hard before deciding to tell Andrew the number. It wasn't a hard decision. She'd asked, he'd answered, and now he was asking, so she felt obliged to answer.

"Fourteen in five months." this made Andrew look at her and Thalia huffed a laugh. "Pig said if I ran away from the fifteenth I'd go to juvie. At the time, it seemed like that would have been the worse option." Thalia sighed. "I was wrong."

"So how long were you in the system?" Andrew asked. He stomped on his own cigarette, showing he was at least a little interested in their conversation. They were both avoiding the elephant in the room, and Thalia knew they probably wouldn't acknowledge it any time soon. Especially not today.

"Technically I'm still in the system, since I'm legally seventeen." Andrew's eyebrows furrowed at the second half of her sentence and Thalia sighed, knowing she was going to have to explain what little of her past she knew well. 

"I say legally because my court given birthday is the twenty-second of November. The judge thought I was probably seventeen, so she gave me a year in the system and then told me to do whatever the fuck I want to." Thalia explained.

"Why do you have a court given birthday?" Andrew asked. Thalia knew it was getting personal, and Andrew seemed to as well, but it was clear he didn't care. Thalia knew he didn't, but he did want to know. So she took in a deep breath and told him.

"I was found on a beach in California almost a year ago. I was next to a burning car, and someone obviously pulled me out before I could die. Why they didn't call emergency services, I don't know. But that's not the point." Thalia didn't tell Andrew about the boy she remembered hovering over her and stuffing the piece of paper into her hand that held her name. That was for her to know, and her only. She would never tell anyone that. Especially not Andrew Minyard.

"I didn't have any coherent memories," partly a lie, Thalia realised. She remembered a few things very clearly, like the day she sat in a chair next to a boy and was marked with ink on her right shoulder blade. "And the rest is history." She'd mostly caught Andrew up on her tragic life, and didn't feel obligated to share anything more.

Andrew didn't say anything, and Thalia walked off, not wanting to deal with his apathy or muteness. She made her way back to the court and changed out into her gear. It was turning dark outside, but Thalia knew Wymack would still be in his office doing work. 

Thalia walked into the inner court and began running through drills she often practiced alone, and flung ball after ball at the goal. She practiced switching between hands often so that she could get better at it, and hopefully throw Andrew off enough one day to be able to score on him.

⥎  
⥐

The needle stung against Thalia's skin. She didn't say anything, only clutched desperately to the hand beside her. Her eyes were shut, and a single tear dropped down her face. Thalia immediately knew that was a mistake, though she couldn't help it. 

She groaned in pain as the knife pressed into her other palm. Thalia didn't open her eyes and her bottom lip wavered, so she bit down on it, not caring about the blood that filled her mouth. "Stay still, you brat." the woman's voice said. Thalia didn't move as the tattooist behind her continued to press the ink into her skin. Though it hurt Thalia knew she'd regret it if she disobeyed the woman's orders. 

"There, Princess," the lady said mockingly. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Thalia blinked to clear the spots from her eyes and looked down at her right hand. The lady's face was pulled in a sneer and she removed the small knife from Thalia's palm. She gasped as the blood seeped from the small wound, and subconsciously switched the position of her other hand as her right one was cleaned and bandaged. 

"Your turn, Junior." the lady said, turning to Thalia's side. She didn't dare follow her gaze. She knew if she did that there would be consequences larger than a cut on her palm. It was the other person's turn to clutch Thalia's hand in a white-knuckled grip. She stared ahead as her shoulder blade that was still burning was patched up. 

Eventually, when the other person's tattoo was finished, a man walked into the room. "Are they done?" The woman stood and nodded. "Good." he smiled manically at Thalia and the other person, icy blue eyes looking murderous. "How are you, my children? Do your shoulders hurt?" It was a rhetorical question, and they both knew it. The man laughed hoarsely and motioned for the woman to stand at his side. She did, and the man smiled at her then.

"I need you to mentor these two. Teach them everything you know, from knife throwing, to dismemberment and where to get someone in the spine to kill them." the man said, which the woman only nodded to. "I'll return in a few weeks. Until then, you will learn to prove yourselves against the tattoos you've received today."


	12. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CALIFORNIA
> 
> 'Why can't you see  
> That I am ok   
> You take more drugs than me'

That Friday was Thalia's first game. Her name hadn't even been released by the ERC yet, so it was going to be a surprise when she stepped on in the second half, or if Neil or Kevin were hurt. It was an away game, and Thalia couldn't care less who they were playing, only that they won. This was her only chance to be away and rid of Cass and her family in California, though she'd have to return the next day to appear in front of the judge. 

Thalia had written her letter on Thursday night and used her time on the bus on Friday to edit and finalise it. She thought that her closed off attitude would make her teammates take a hint and leave her alone. However, Dan made it her life's work to see what Thalia was writing, just as she had since Thalia had first brought it up.

"Dan, can you just leave me the fuck alone," Thalia said, getting fed up of her captain's attitude. Dan looked startled but turned around in her seat and stayed quiet for a moment before joining into Nicky's conversation about defense. 

She was glad that they were heading back to Palmetto immediately after the game and weren't staying in a hotel overnight, so that she could travel from an airport she'd been to before. Nobody asked why Thalia had a weekend's worth of clothes with her, but she'd spoken to Wymack about going back to California for the weekend, so he wasn't bothered about dropping her off at the airport before he took the rest of the team back to the campus.

When they arrived at Belmonte, Thalia was taken aback. She wasn't used to seeing a different stadium up close, or at all, for that matter. The colours were slightly annoying for Thalia, seeing as she'd grown used to the orange and white of the Foxhole Court over the past two weeks. 

Thalia didn't get much game time, though she wasn't disappointed. Kevin raised his stick with twenty minutes left of the first half, and Thalia frowned in confusion. She didn't expect to sub on for Kevin at all that night, so when he jogged over to the door with no real injuries, Thalia became suspicious.

"What are you doing?" She asked him as he stepped closer. Kevin quickly explained that the reverberations of being hit were too hard on his hand, though Thalia doubted it was the full truth. Nevertheless, she stepped onto the court and filled Kevin's place. The crowd were shocked for a moment, but then cheered at the sight of a new player.

A few moments before the dealer of the opposing team passed it to one of his backliners, and as the referees shut the doors and locked them all in the box, Thalia heard the commentators finally release her name. 

⥎  
⥐

They won the game, though it was clear Andrew had gone into withdrawl and played the game off his medication. Thalia realised that every game she'd watched of the Foxes with him in it, he always played the second half. Wymack had probably offered him a deal. Thalia noticed Andrew worked on deals and such. He clearly didn't trust anyone fully. Deals were his way of making sure people went through with whatever they'd told him they would do. 

On the bus ride back, Thalia became nervous. She didn't know what waited for her in California, other than Pig picking her up from the airport and taking her to a hotel where she'd stay until the next day when her court appearance would be.

Wymack turned onto the road towards the airport, and Kevin noticed. "Hey, coach. Why are we going to the airport?" Wymack didn't answer and continued driving. Most people were asleep, but those who weren't - Kevin, Renee, Matt and Neil - stopped their conversation to turn to the coach. 

"We're dropping Thalia off. She has business back home to attend to this weekend." Thalia didn't like the attention and wished she were at least sitting at the back of the bus, though Andrew had quickly claimed that seat and promptly fallen asleep. 

"Why are you going back to California?" Matt asked, looking behind him and trying carefully not to wake his girlfriend who had her head on his shoulder. Thalia realised that Matt must have been slouching, because he was much taller than Dan, and she wouldn't usually be able to reach his shoulder like that. 

"I have to go to court." Thalia said, blank faced. They were pulling into the airport when she said that, and Wymack pulled into the drop-off lane. Before her teammates could understand what she'd said, Thalia was already grabbing her things and walking down the bus to the front. Then they started yelling out questions, waking everyone but Andrew, still blissfully unaware at the back of the bus. 

She turned to them before walking down the steps off the bus and held up her hands, asking for silence. "I'll be back on Monday." was all Thalia said before thanking Wymack and walking away. She didn't look back at the bus, but knew they were pulling out of the lane and driving away because the bus wasn't exactly quiet.

⥎  
⥐

Thalia walked out of the doors in front of officer Higgins, who she'd promptly ignored as she spotted him waiting for her. She'd walked right past him, ignoring the calls for her to stop walking. Thalia out into the California heat and looked around for Higgins' car. She saw it and headed towards it. Higgins unlocked it from a distance and Thalia climbed into the passenger seat.

Higgins got in moments later and the two sat in silence. Thalia stared blankly out of the front windscreen, and Higgins had his hands on the wheel. "Thalia," he started, before realising she wasn't going to say anything and decided to start the car.

When they arrived at the hotel, Thalia got out of the car walked in, followed by Higgins yet again. She sat down at the waiting area and let Pig deal with the booking. He beckoned her over to the elevator once he'd sorted out the rooms and got the key cards. She followed, clutching the duffel bag she carried. 

In the elevator the awkward silence continued and Thalia took the key card without question as she walked out of the elevator car. She walked down the hall and opened her room door with a swipe of her key card. The room wasn't anything nice - just a double bed, desk where those travelling for business could do work, a bathroom, and a small kitchenette. 

Thalia pushed the bed against the wall and curled up under the covers. She hadn't slept on the flight over since she'd sat in the middle of the plane, and was tired due to time zone differences. Thalia promptly fell asleep and only woke when there was a knock at her door. 

"Thalia? Do you want to go out for dinner or should I order room service?" Pig's voice carried through the room. Thalia groaned and got out of the bed. She rubbed her eyes as she walked to the door and opened it. Pig looked startled at her appearance. "Oh, you were asleep? Sorry, I didn't think about time differences." 

"I'll have a pepperoni pizza." Thalia said, knowing officer Higgins would take the hint as she closed the door in his face. Then she stalked back to the bed and turned on the tv that sat above the desk. She watched the rerun of an exy game that was playing, and eventually there was a knock at her door again.

Thalia paused the tv and stood, walking to the door once again. She opened it and took the pizza from Pig, closing the door once again. There wasn't much for Thalia to do, but she read over her letter once she'd finished eating. She read it again and again until she had it memorised and found herself reading it in her sleep.


	13. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
> 
> 'Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?  
> Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?  
> Out of the doorway the bullets rip  
> To the sound of the beat'

'After appearing for the first time on the Palmetto Foxes striker line, Thalia Warden cannot be found by anyone. People are starting to wonder why the new player played only twenty minutes of last nights game against Belmonte, and has promptly disappeared from existence.' the news reporter droned. Thalia found it hard to listen to, and simply turned off the radio. She was sitting in officer Higgins' car as he drove to the court the next day, and the two were sitting in silence like the day before. 

"Thalia," Pig said, seemingly picking up from where he was going yesterday. "Cass wants to see you. I know I told you about what's happening with Richard, but she knows you're in town. She'll either show up to the court today or you can go to her house." Thalia stiffened beside him.

"I don't want to see her." Thalia said, though she knew she didn't really have a choice. She sighed. There was no way she was going back to that house. She didn't know if Drake would be there, and if he was, things were bound to go terribly wrong. It was either that or see Cass at the court. "Tell her to meet us there."

"Ok." Pig said, and that was the end of the conversation. They'd been in this position before - Pig driving Thalia to court, them sitting in his car, not speaking. Thalia was the first to get out and walked up the steps into the courthouse. She knew Pig was following her, but wanted to feel his presence so she knew if he'd be a problem. He hadn't been for the year, but things could change. Thalia knew that more than anyone she'd ever met. Except maybe Andrew.

⥎  
⥐

After she'd presented her plan to the judge, and it had been agreed to - she'd play for the Foxes for the five years in her contract and meanwhile have a job on-site - Pig took Thalia outside to meet a woman she hadn't seen in two weeks. 

Cass stood on the side of her car, smile appearing on her tired face when she saw Thalia. She stubbed out the cigarette she'd been holding under her shoe and walked towards them. Thalia froze in place, and Higgins turned to look at her a few steps ahead. He nodded towards Cass and Thalia shook her head, swallowing hard. 

The only thing she could see was his face in hers. Drake looked so much like his mother it was scary. It was mostly why Thalia hated Cass so much. She was a nice enough person, but looking into the face of his mother was terrifying, and Thalia could hardly bring herself to take another step forward. 

"Thalia, darling," Cass said, undeterred by the fact that Thalia was folding in on herself. She'd only been rid of the Spear's for two weeks, but the Foxes had already shown Thalia what was wrong and what shouldn't be okay. This relationship with the Spear's was not okay. It was wrong. But Thalia still had a month before she was legally rid of those people.

"How's South Carolina been treating you?" Cass asked. Pig looked at Thalia with encouragement in his eyes, though she found her mouth dry. She couldn't open her mouth. She felt as if she was going to throw up. 

"Okay." Was all Thalia managed to get out. Cass still didn't seem fazed. She was used to Thalia's short answers, and had grown accustomed to her rudeness. Thalia made the mistake of looking back to Cass's car, and she tensed up, ready to run, as soon as she saw who was in the driver's seat.

Cass followed her gaze and then turned back to Thalia. "It's alright, darling. Drake just wanted to drive me here. I wasn't sure if you wanted to speak with him. Do you? he'd love to see you again." Cass said. 

"No." Thalia choked out. "Pig, can we go now." she said, looking at the ground. He tried to convince Thalia to stay, and she didn't miss the look of disappointment and sadness on Cass's face, but Thalia needed to get out of there. 

"Sorry, Mrs. Spear. I'll see you soon?" Pig said to Cass, who nodded sadly and tried to reach out for Thalia, but she was already making her way to Pig's car. 

⥎  
⥐

Andrew picked Thalia up from the airport and they sat in his car for ten minutes before either said anything. Thalia counted in her head. It was the only thing that was keeping her from breaking down in front of him.

"Was she there," Andrew asked. Thalia knew he meant Cass, and only nodded a response. "What was it like." Thalia looked to the side. It was clear to Thalia that Andrew had liked Cass, even thought of her as his own mother. He was staring ahead, over the top of the steering wheel. She looked back ahead.

"I told her I was doing okay here." Thalia answered. It wasn't much of an answer and she sighed, knowing that wasn't all Andrew meant. "She asked me if I wanted to see him. He drove her to the court house. I said no." Andrew stiffened up. Thalia didn't know why. It was clear to her that Drake was what he really wanted to know about. 

Neither said anything more, and Andrew pulled out of the airport carpark, driving more recklessly than he had any other time Thalia was in the car with him. When they stopped at the next traffic lights, Thalia spoke up.

"Did you kill Aaron's mother?" she asked. Andrew didn't say anything, and she took that as the yes it was. "Why?" Andrew didn't answer still, but Thalia was content to wait. The light turned green and Andrew sped through the intersection.

"I made him a promise." he eventually said. "And I don't break promises." Thalia hummed, showing she understood. Once they arrived at Fox Tower, they sat in the car, once again. "What did the judge say?" 

Thalia was surprised Andrew was showing any interest in her, so she turned to look at him. Hazel eyes stared blankly at Thalia, and she knew he was off his meds, but it was still unnerving. "She agreed to my plan that I would play here for the five year contract and have a job on campus." Andrew nodded once and turned to get out of the car.

Thalia got her things and followed him into the elevator which they rode to their floor, and thanked him for picking her up at the airport before going to her own room. The girls were watching something on the tv when Thalia entered, and they turned when the door opened.

"Why did you go to court?"

"Is that what you were writing?"

"Are you okay?" 

Thalia was uncomfortable with the attention from Allison and Dan, and even more so by Renee's knowing smile. She sighed and walked into the bedroom, ignoring the girls' incessant questions. She closed the door and dumped her bag up on her bed before climbing into it and curling her back against the wall and falling asleep.


	14. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SITTING INSIDE MY HEAD
> 
> 'You might think I'm dense,  
> Laughing at my expense  
> Let's fill the cup  
> let's wash away the ghost'

It would be difficult to explain without explaining to the team what had happened in California that weekend, so the next day at practice, Thalia had everyone sit down, and told them her past. Parts of it, at least. She was good at keeping secrets. At lying. And she was using that to her advantage now more than ever.

"Almost a year ago, I was put in the foster system." She started. "I had fourteen homes in five months. The last one is technically still my home. I got into a lot of trouble, and so that, along with the obvious fact that I was in the system, meant I had to write a three year plan of what I wanted to do with my life once I was eighteen and out of the system." realisation and understanding appeared on some faces. 

"But Andrew didn't have to do that," Nicky said, looking slightly confused. Thalia explained that was probably because he'd been Andrew's legal guardian at the time, and Nicky suddenly seemed appreciative of the fact that he was the reason Andrew was out of the system. His cousin just looked bored.

They hadn't pried, and Thalia hadn't shared anything more than that, though Neil seemed as if he didn't quite believe her. They got to practice, and at their break, when Thalia was sitting by herself in the stands, still not trusting her teammates intentions, she heard a conversation, which, if the person who was being talked about had heard, things wouldn't go so well.

"I know you're kind of part of their group now," Dan was saying to Neil. Matt stood with them, too. "But don't forget us. Be the bridge that connects the two groups. We need this." Neil nodded, and Thalia didn't hear what he said in response, but Matt shook his head.

"I don't know why the Monster always says yes to anything you ask." he said. Thalia clenched her jaw and resisted the strong urge not to smack Matt across the face. She looked to where Andrew and Renee were walking laps around the inner court. He wouldn't have heard Matt's insult, but Thalia was sure he knew that's what they all thought of him. If only they knew why he acted the way he did.

Once Neil had walked off, and Thalia knew Andrew was out of earshot, she walked up to Matt and the captain of the team, knowing what she was about to say would not go down well with anyone.

"Hey Matt," she asked in a sickly sweet voice that anyone would have been able to tell was not a good sign. He frowned but said hi back. "Can I ask you something?" Thalia said. Matt nodded and took a drink of water. "How would you like it if someone called you a druggie?" he spat out his water and tried not to choke, but Thalia watched with an unimpressed look on her face.

"Sorry?" he asked, obviously not sure he'd heard right. Thalia tilted her head, showing she wasn't going to ask again. Matt looked around and Dan frowned at Thalia as she patted her boyfriend's back to get him to breathe properly.

"It was a serious question," Thalia said. "I'd like a serious answer. Do you need me to repeat it?" Matt shook his head quickly. "Then answer." 

"The fuck, Thalia," Dan said incredulously. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Thalia turned her attention on the captain then. 

"How would you feel if someone exploited the fact that you used to be a stripper, Dan?" Thalia asked. Dan widened her eyes and floundered for something to say. Matt's jaw clenched. He seemed more affected by the questioning of his girlfriend than himself. 

"How do you know that?" Dan asked eventually. She didn't answer the captain's question however, and Thalia turned instead to Allison, who'd been quiet the whole break. She was sitting a little further back. Allison seemed to shrink in on herself.

"How'd you feel if someone insulted Seth, huh? What if they said he deserved what he got?" Thalia was riling them all up on purpose. Allison just seemed mad. Good. "Or said you were the disappointment of your family?"

"The fuck, Thalia," Matt said, repeating Dan's words from before. Thalia made sure that Andrew and Renee were on the other side of the court, though they were inside and probably wouldn't hear any of the conversation anyways. Nicky, Aaron and Neil had stayed silent the whole time, obviously knowing it wasn't wise to stand up to Thalia now. 

"I can guarantee you, that is how Andrew feels when you call him a monster, or a sociopath, or a psychopath. He is not." Thalia said, getting angry now. "He has been through shit. He's had a shit life. That does not make him a bad person. If you tried to understand him, like Renee has done, then you would see how wrong you are." Nobody said anything and watched Thalia walk out of the stadium, not for the first time.


	15. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US
> 
> 'Everybody gone bad  
> Situation, aggravation  
> Everybody, allegation  
> In the suit, on the news  
> Bang, bang, shot dead  
> Everybody's gone mad'

Dan hadn't been very appreciative of Thalia's words that day in practice, and it was that reason that Thalia found herself with her duffel bag standing outside of Kevin Day's dorm room at seven that evening. 

"Can I crash here for a few nights?" she asked when Nicky opened the door. The older man frowned a little, but nodded and let Thalia in. Aaron was lounging on one of the beanbags with a game controller in his hand. He looked mad, like Thalia had interrupted his game. By the way Nicky went and sat on the other beanbag and picked up another controller, she probably had. 

"He won't like what you did," Aaron said, not even looking at Thalia. Kevin was sitting at his desk, probably working on a history assignment. Thalia looked to the more passive Minyard and rolled her eyes. 

"I don't care. I said what I said, and I meant it." Thalia told him. Aaron didn't make another comment and turned back to the game. Thalia wandered over to Kevin and set her stuff down, sitting in one of the chairs. Kevin turned to look at her with a disapproving glare.

"Can I help you?" Thalia raised an eyebrow, not really giving a response. Kevin sighed. "Look, I don't know what you said today, because I was in the bathroom, but Nicky basically told me you called out the upperclassmen for being rude to Andrew. Aaron's right - he won't like it."

"He won't care." Thalia said. "There's a difference." Kevin sighed and went back to his work, but not before telling Thalia that Andrew had asked to see her when it was possible. She stood and made her way to the bedroom, knocking before entering.

Neither said anything for a while. He was smoking, sitting on top of one of the desks they'd pushed into the room and had one of the protective screens down by the side of it instead of on the window where it was supposed to be.

"Are you going to jump?" Thalia asked. She didn't get a response, so she went and sat down on the bed by Andrew. 

"Why did you say it?" he asked eventually. Thalia looked up as if he were the most ridiculous person in existence. He stubbed out his cigarette on the sill and turned around to face her. Andrew's hazel eyes were startlingly annoyed, but Thalia knew he was on his meds - she'd seen him take them in their break, before he'd gone on a run with Renee and Thalia had let her mouth run loose on her teammates.

"They were calling you a monster." Thalia said, then looked away from his eyes, as if they would burn her. "They were wrong."

"They're assholes. It's what they do." Andrew replied. "I've put up with their shit for a year and a half now. I'm used to it, and, as you should probably know by now; I don't care what they think."

"But I do. And I don't appreciate it when people get called 'monster' because others don't understand the shit they've been through." Andrew laughed hoarsely.

"And you do?" he said. He was becoming hysterical, and Thalia knew it probably wasn't best to deal with him like this. She had no choice though, and kept talking.

"To an extent." she replied. Andrew shook his head and turned back to face out of the window.

"I think you said that to protect yourself, not me." Andrew said. Thalia frowned. 

"Why would I do that? they were being assholes to you, not me." Thalia said. "Though I doubt that won't change after what I said. And you've made it clear you don't want anyone's protection." he didn't say anything to that, and Thalia figured that was an invitation to leave, so she stood and closed the door behind her.

⥎  
⥐

"We need to keep moving, Anne." a woman's voice said. She opened her eyes and saw that the woman was hauling her into a car, along with another person's force. "We can't stay here anymore."

"Where are we going?" a male voice asked. He climbed in the backseat with her, but she couldn't see his face. "You're hurt too, we need to stitch up both of your wounds."

"No. You worry about Anne, and I'll worry about getting us out of here." the woman replied sharply. The boy seemed to guess it was no use arguing, and turned to grab something. The car started moving, and she began to slip into unconsciousness again.

⥎  
⥐

"Repeat after me," the woman said, though she seemed younger than she could remember. "Don't look back," two young voices echoed the words. "Don't trust anyone. And don't be anyone or anywhere for too long." those words became echoed again, and the woman nodded, standing and taking the children's hands. 

"Good. Now, this is my son Alex, and this is my daughter, Mary." the woman said, squeezing the hand of each child as she said that. "Repeat your names to me."

"Your son Alex," a boy's voice said.

"And your daughter Mary." she finished.

"Good. And who am I?" 

"Our mother, Diane." the children repeated in unison, as though they'd practiced many times.

"Mama," the girl asked. The woman hummed as she walked briskly across the street. "What's going to happen to my friends?" the woman tensed at the question, but answered anyway.

"They are not your friends, Mary. They never were, and you will learn, in time, that they are the people you are running from."

The girl never asked questions like that again, and her brother Alex always warned her not to if it seemed like she would.


	16. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUPALONELY
> 
> 'I'm a sad girl, in this big world  
> It's a mad world  
> All of my friends know what's happened  
> You're a bad thing'

"Thalia, I asked you to write down the answers to these simple questions," Thalia's drawing teacher said. Thalia had been chewing in the end of her pencil and looking down at the blank paper all lesson, and Mrs. Frazer had noticed. Thalia didn't look up and Mrs. Frazer sighed.

"Question one - what is your favourite art medium?" she waited for Thalia's answer, and even then, all she did was write down 'acrylic paint' in her messy scrawl. "Alright," Mrs. Frazer moved on. "Question two - what do you hope to do after college?" Thalia looked up at her then.

"That is the question, isn't it." she stood and ripped the paper out of Mrs. Frazer's hand, much to the woman's surprise. Thalia scribbled down her answers to the questions and handed it back to her teacher, promptly sitting back down and going back to her previous position.

⥎  
⥐

The fall banquet was Thalia's first outing with the team other than a game, and she had no idea how it would go down. She'd heard from mostly Kevin that Riko, his old teammate and the person she'd learned was the real reason behind his career ending injury, was not a good person. Not at all.

"Did you see the Kathy Ferdinand show when Neil cussed Riko out so bad?" Nicky said excitedly as they ate lunch in the athletes cafeteria the day before. The two were also with Aaron and his maybe-girlfriend Katelyn. Thalia had been eyeing her the whole time, though she'd mostly spoken in hushed tones with Aaron.

"No." Thalia replied simply and went back to her salad that composed on lettuce and tomatoes. Nicky had frowned at her choice of food, but didn't comment, as he knew Thalia would likely ignore him.

"It was great. He basically accused the Rat Bastard of ruining Kevin's hand, which he did." Nicky continued. Thalia tried looking everywhere except her teammates and the other girl at the table.

"Nicky, I'm not sure that's common knowledge within campus." Aaron said warningly. Thalia didn't really like the other Minyard, but maybe that was because being chosen was something Thalia didn't like. Aaron was chosen to stay with his mother, and Andrew was doomed to a terrible life.

"Right sorry," Nicky said and continued talking at a million miles a minute.

"I'm gonna go make sure my dress has arrived." Thalia said, excusing herself from the table. Nicky somehow didn't even notice or care that she'd left, and just turned to his cousin and Katelyn.

Thalia didn't go back to the dorms, however. Instead, she made her way to the art studio, where her most recent painting was waiting for her. Thalia picked up the paints and brushes she'd need, and made her way over to it.

It wasn't a complicated piece, though Thalia knew it meant a lot. It resonated within her and hoped it could bring clarity to other's lives. It was a mostly monochrome piece, with different shades of grey ranging from black to white. A hand was the main focus of the painting. The only colour on the canvas were three neon yellow and pink capsules falling out of a bottle. The ones still inside were shades of grey, just like everything else.

"This is a lovely place," came a voice from behind Thalia. She'd raised the brush to put her first stroke of acrylic to the canvas when someone had spoken. Thalia tensed but relaxed ever so slightly when she realised it was Andrew. "And that is a nice painting."

"Aww, you almost sound as if you mean it." Thalia replied mockingly as she put her things down and crossed her arms. Andrew mimicked her, a smile on his face that showed Thalia he was back on his meds. "What are you doing here?" Thalia asked seriously. Andrew looked around the studio and shrugged as he walked forwards into the room a little.

"How many of these are yours?" asking another question and ignoring Thalia's original one. The truth was that this room was only her art. Everything ranging from abstract faces with oceans covering half of it, to simple line drawings of two hands clasped with colours exploding around them.

"Alright then, keep your secrets," Andrew said, smile still in place. "Renee wants to see you." Thalia narrowed her eyes.

"Why," she demanded, but Andrew simply shrugged and walked out of the studio, but not before looking at a specific piece of Thalia's and back at the girl herself with narrowed eyes. Thalia knew immediately which one had caught Andrew's eye, and somehow she knew he'd meant for her to see.

It was the piece that had made Thalia's teacher ask her to go to the team therapist. The piece in question was similar to the one she was currently working on - a wrist was visible in the painting, and vibrant red paint that really did look like blood if you looked at it the right way oozed out of four straight lines on the wrist.

Thalia didn't know why Andrew had wanted her to know he'd been looking at it, and she didn't try to figure it out as she washed the wasted paint of her palette. She had a fair idea as to why, but didn't plan on butting into Andrew's business to find out.


	17. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ART HOE
> 
> 'Five four, black hair  
> Never had her dad there  
> Kissed a lot of boys but never seems to have care  
> She just wants vodka and cigarettes  
> Has her dealer on speed dial when she gets stressed'

When the Foxes arrived at Blackwell, everyone got off, and Thalia was near the front of the bus when she heard Wymack at the back. "You have ten seconds to inhale as much of this as you can. I'm timing you. Go." Thalia frowned. She knew of Kevin's past and that his time at Edgar Allan must have been traumatising. She knew Riko had been the one to break his hand - the topic of conversation had come up not long after she'd arrived at the school - but didn't realise how bad it was.

Thalia hadn't known that Kevin's alcohol problem was that bad, but when she saw him drink more than half the bottle, she knew he needed help and was prepared to give it to him. But that was for later.

Wymack sent Neil and Thalia off the bus, and the two made their way over to the stadium. Thalia hovered by the entrance, however, and when Andrew and Wymack stumbled out of the bus with Kevin between them, getting used to the alcohol in his system, Thalia walked over to them. Wymack stared at her and told her to go inside, but Thalia said nothing as she grabbed the bottle out of the man's hand.

"Give that back, Thalia." Coach warned. Thalia took the lid off and walked away. "Thalia, I swear, if you don't give me the fucking bottle I will bench you." She quickly drank the rest of the bottle and threw it into the bin as she walked into the stadium. Either Andrew or Kevin must have said something to their grumpy coach, because he didn't call after Thalia anymore. 

Once they were all there, the team was escorted into changing rooms. Thalia followed the other girls, and took her outfit out of the bag it had been in for the drive. Thalia realised that she was the only girl on the team that had chosen not to wear a dress. Her outfit was simple, covering all the marks on her body that she was worried about. The orange, high waisted pants held up with a thin, black belt, along with a cream singlet, black heels and a pair of long, dangly earrings made Thalia think that she really was beautiful. Just like she'd been told for months of living with the Spears.

"Damn, Thalia," Dan commented. The younger girl turned around wit her eyes wide. Dan was wearing a simple cream slip wrap dress with spaghetti straps and had a pair of heels hanging off her fingers, obviously about to put them on. "You look hot, girl." Thalia blushed slightly at the compliment. She'd been getting genuine compliments from the Foxes, and was beginning to like the way they made her feel.

Allison turned from where she was doing her eyeliner and nodded appreciatively. That meant a lot to Thalia, as Allison was a style icon, she'd quickly come to realise. She was wearing a white halter neck top with a wrap skirt that got longer at the back until it reached Allison's md calves. Renee gave Thalia a polite smile and Thalia returned it with a smile and nod at her own outfit. Renee had on a more conservative, black dress with forearm length sleeves and full back. They all looked beautiful, and Thalia was glad to be part of the female section of the Foxes.

The girls emerged from the changing room together, and put their things in the closet labelled PALMETTO FOXES. Thalia gave Kevin a few unsure glances, though Andrew nodded, showing he would handle it and would accept Thalia's help if she offered it. She nodded in return and the team moved on. 

Coach took Neil by the arm before they went in and said something that Thalia couldn't hear. She wished she had, but knew enough about her teammate that it was probably about his attitude. When Neil caught up to the rest of the team, he put his jacket around Thalia's shoulders, to which she tensed and looked behind her.

"You looked cold." Neil mumbled and fell into step with Thalia. She frowned. She wasn't cold, at all. They were inside. But Thalia didn't question Neil and kept walking, clutching the sides of the jacket that had been put around her. "When you sit down, keep it on." Neil said. Thalia turned to him, stopping in her tracks.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she said. Neil didn't answer. Wymack ushered them to keep going, but Thalia didn't listen. "We're inside, Neil. I'm not cold. I'm fine." she went to take to jacket off her shoulders and hand it back to Neil, but he leaned in and whispered two words that made Thalia stiffen and shiver at the same time.

"Your tattoo." Neil murmured. Thalia stepped away from him. She didn't know when she'd gotten it, but if the memory she was sure was fake was real, then it must have been when she was a child. When Neil claimed to have known her.

Thalia waited a few seconds to take in the fact that Neil knew about her tattoo, and then looked at the team nurse. Abby looked slightly confused when Thalia did this, but looked prepared to listen to what she had to say. "Can I have the keys to the storage cupboard? I need to get a jacket."

"But you have Neil's," she stated the obvious. Thalia just stared at her until Abby understood and dug out the key that had been given to her. Thalia nodded and dragged Neil along behind her by his tie.

Once they were there, she let go of Neil and shrugged his jacket off, not caring if it hit the floor. She opened the cupboard and found her bag, took out the black wool cardigan she'd brought with her, and put it over her shoulders.

Once Thalia had locked the door again and saw that Neil had his jacket back on, Thalia slammed him against the wall and put a hand threateningly around his throat. She didn't squeeze hard enough to stop the boy from breathing, but there was enough pressure to make Neil uncomfortable.

"How the fuck do you know about my tattoo? And why did you tell me to cover it up?" Thalia spat furiously. Neil struggled for a few seconds before realising it was worthless and stared her dead in the eye. Neil's brown eyes met Thalia's blue ones, and she finally understood. Thalia let Neil go and walked away from him. "You have one too, don't you." she said. Neil swallowed and nodded slowly.

"Yes." He said, though he'd already confirmed Thalia's thoughts. She thought back on that memory of the cruel lady and the big man. Of the hand that had clutched hers tightly as she tried not to cry or make a noise, and how she'd done the same when it was her turn. That had been Neil. He hadn't just known her. They had been close. Really close.

"What is it? What does it mean?" Thalia asked him. "Is it some sort of gang sign? Oh god, it's a gag sign, isn't it?" she was panicking, something Pig had taught her to get around, but now wasn't a time she could remember his five fast steps to calming down.

"Hey, hey, Thalia." Neil said, moving towards her with his hands out. She instinctively moved back, and Neil seemed to get the hint because he stopped where he was. "It's okay. It's not a gang sign. Trust me." Thalia didn't know why she would. He'd given her half truths since she'd arrived at the Foxhole Court, but then again, so had Thalia.

"You know more about me than you're letting on, don't you?" Thalia asked. "Please, help me. I have hardly any memories of what my life used to be. I don't even remember being friends with you. I do remember the day I got this tattoo, though. And I remember clutching a hand. That must have been yours, but -"

"Stop rambling, Nathalia." Neil snapped and Thalia blinked a few times, unsure if she'd heard him correctly. She frowned then.

"What?" she asked. Neil sighed through his nose and ran a hand through his hair.

"They're going to start wondering where we are," Neil mumbled and walked off. Thalia didn't stop him, but frowned deeper and shook her head. She eventually followed him, realising Neil was right. There was something off, though. She couldn't quite figure it out, and wished she had complete and coherent memories.

"There you are, we thought you were dead!" Nicky said as Thalia returned. She didn't say anything and the team walked into the court. Dan stopped where she was in the front of the group. Thalia couldn't see why from her spot at the back, but figured it wasn't good by the way she cursed to herself before continuing.


	18. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BODY TALKS
> 
> 'You can be cool, you can be shy  
> Say what you want, say what you like  
> 'Cause ooh, your body talks, your body talks'

Dan led the way to the table, and Thalia immediately realised why their captain had been unimpressed by their seating arrangement - the Foxes were opposite the Ravens. It was inconvenient, sure, but Kevin was clearly feeling the effects of being around his old teammates, and Thalia wasn't sure whether the bottle of alcohol they'd shared in the parking lot minutes before would be a sufficient painkiller in this situation for him.

"Riko," Dan said, holding her hand across the table. It was startling to see the man Thalia knew had ruined Kevin's life in person. Riko Moriyama was about five foot five of lean, mean, torturing machine - Nicky's words, not Thalia's - and the one tattoo on his left cheekbone made Thalia want to take one of the knives she knew Andrew carried and cut it off his face. "Dan Wilds."

Riko offered Dan his hand, looking hilariously condescending. Thalia almost wanted to laugh at the way he'd positioned his hand to make it look like he were a king expecting a kiss on the top of his hand by a servant. Dan took it and gave it a quick squeeze. Riko smiled icily when she pulled away.

"I know who you are. Who here doesn't?" Riko said. "You're the woman who captains a Class I team. You've done admittedly well despite your disadvantages." It was clear Riko was talking not only about Kevin's injury that he was the cause of - Thalia wanted to punch him for looking so smug -but also about the team in general.

Thalia hadn't known much about the Foxes before joining, if anything at all. But she'd learned in more ways than one over the weeks she'd been on the team that they were all a bunch of rejects and screw-ups who Wymack had decided needed a 'second chance' as he put it.

"Do you want me to start listing them?" Riko said, and he sounded exhausted by the idea. "This is only a two day event, Hennessey." Thalia didn't know what that was supposed to mean, though by the way Matt tensed protectively at her side, it was clear that it had been her stripper name. Thalia looked sideways at her captain, who seemed unfazed by the name calling.

"Careful, Riko." Matt said dangerously. Thalia had never seen the happy giant act this way, and was almost amused by his protectiveness. Dan finally sat down opposite Riko, and the rest of the upperclassmen fanned out to one side of her, with the cousins, Kevin, Neil and Thalia on the other side. Riko turned on Thalia then and leaned across the table with his cruel smile in place.

"You're a new face," Riko said in probably what he thought was a calm and serene tone. But Thalia knew otherwise. "You must be Nathalia, right? You've probably heard my name, but I'm -"

"Riko Moriyama," Thalia interjected, still not fond of the name 'Nathalia' being thrown around in her presence. "Or more commonly known as 'Rat Bastard' within the team. And It's Thalia. No N and A in front of that. Just Thalia." Riko's smile turned colder than it had been when he'd looked at Dan. Nicky suppressed a laugh next to her and played it off as a cough, which Thalia didn't find convincing.

The person to Riko's right stood and made his way down the line a few people, tapped one girl on the shoulder, and switched places with her. He was sitting right in front of Neil, and one person to Thalia's right. She felt unsettled by this new arrangement, and wanted to crawl up into a ball in a corner somewhere. She recognised him though. Jean Moreau. Number Three of Riko's 'Perfect Court'. Riko and Kevin being numbers one and two, respectively.

"Ah, and this one must be the French bastard, correct?" Thalia said, looking directly into Jean's eyes. He narrowed them at her, no smile on his face, though Thalia grinned widely, and felt Neil dig his fingers into the material of her pants. She followed his silent instruction and dropped the smile.

Jean ignored her and turned to Neil. "You look familiar," he said. His accent already annoyed Thalia and she rolled her eyes.

"If you watched Kathy's show, you would have seen me there." Neil said in response. Thalia didn't know why, but maybe it was because Neil seemed inexplicably uncomfortable, and she felt the need to somehow protect him. So she took a page out of Andrew's book to apathetic protection and leaned forwards on her elbows.

"Yeah, you know," Thalia said, getting Jean's attention. "The one where Neil here cussed out your buddy Ratty Patty for being a bad 'brother' to Kevin." she put air quotation marks around the word brother because they weren't related. Never were, never would be. From what Thalia had heard and been told directly by Kevin himself, Riko had treated them all like shit, but Kevin and Jean the worst.

"Yes, you're right," Jean said, getting back on track. "What was your name again? Alex? Stefan? Chris?" Neil seemed to pale and Thalia took his hand that was under the table. It was shaking. There was no doubt Jean had gotten under his skin on purpose, likely on Riko's command. She shifted her eyes to the Japanese man and found him only smiling. 

"It's Neil," he managed eventually. Thalia squeezed his hand, knowing that something was wrong, and even saying that must have been hard. Jean hummed and tilted his head as if he were assessing Neil.

"You don't look like a Neil."

"And you don't look like a human, but here we are." Thalia responded, and didn't get Jean's attention with that one, but she could tell it was hard for him to keep his calm resolve with all the comments Thalia was throwing at him. He would break soon. Thalia knew it. 

"Blame my mother, she named me." Neil said to Jean's comment.

"How is she, by the way?" Riko asked. Thalia turned her head to Riko. There was obviously something he knew that nobody else did. It was clear by the way he and Jean were talking in code, sending out cryptic messages to Neil, and overall just trying to make Thalia's teammate snap.

"Don't antagonize my team, Riko," Dan cut in. "This isn't the place for it." Riko turned his gaze slowly on the woman and smiled.

"I was being polite. You haven't seen me antagonistic yet." Riko responded.

"Maybe not in person, but we've seen the after effects of it." Thalia added. She was quite sure none of the Ravens but Riko and Jean knew what the real cause of Kevin's injury was, and things that weren't common knowledge and could be used as blackmail were things that Thalia had figured out long ago were useful to her survival.


	19. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOLDEN DAYS
> 
> 'Oh don't you wonder when the light begins to fade?  
> And the clock just makes the colors turn to grey  
> Forever younger growing older just the same  
> All the memories that we make will never change'

"Hello Kevin," Jean had turned on his old teammate, who looked uncomfortable with the whole situation. Kevin was on Neil's other side, and was as close to Jean as Thalia was, and even closer to Riko.

"Jean."

Neither said anything more, but Jean looked angry covered in a sheet of ice, blurring the image to the rest of the world. Andrew reached across the table with a manic smile on his face and stuck his hand in Jean's face.

"Jean," he said. "Hey, Jean. Jean Valjean. Hey. Hey. Hello." Thalia snickered a little at their interaction - well, Andrew speaking and Jean making annoyed huffs at the nickname he'd been given. Jean was stupid enough to take Andrew's hand, and Thalia could see Andrew's white knuckles from clenching Jean's hand so tightly. He was making good on his deal to protect Kevin from these people, then, Thalia realised.

"I'm Andrew, we haven't met yet."

"For which I am grateful," Jean said, massaging his hand when he got it back. "The Foxes as a whole are an embarrassment to Class I Exy, but your very existence is unforgivable. A goalkeeper who doesn't care if he is scored on has no right to touch a racquet. You should have stayed on the sidelines like the publicity stunt you are."

"That's a bit out of line, don't you think?" Renee asked, her voice sweet as ever, though Thalia had figured out long ago that there was always a silent threat behind her words. The person to Riko's right snorted and commented that they'd make a drinking game out of one of the Foxes matches, but they'd get alcohol poisoning.

"Yeah, that'd be a real shame." Dan said sarcastically. Thalia hadn't particularly liked the captain of her new team, but today was making her warm up to the older woman more than Thalia thought she ever would.

"Fun is for children," Jean said, and Thalia looked up to see she'd missed part of the conversation, presumably about fun. The alcohol she'd had earlier was starting to kick in, as was the lack of sleep she'd gotten recently. "You have no right to play with us."

"Then you shouldn't have transferred districts," Matt said. Thalia's words to him those weeks ago hadn't been forgotten, it was clear, but Matt somehow understood the point Thalia had been trying to make, and didn't call Andrew a monster anymore. "No one wants you here."

"You took something that does not belong to you," A Raven who had not spoken yet said. "You brought this year's humiliation on yourselves." Thalia looked to Riko, who smiled coldly at her. She understood then that Seth's death hadn't been an accident. He hadn't overdosed, it had been forced. She'd never known him, but decided that he probably hadn't deserved Riko killing him to prove a point to the rest of the Foxes.

"We didn't take anything. Kevin wants to be here." Dan said in retaliation. Thalia glanced at Kevin then, who had been silent the whole time, except for that one word he'd said to Jean. She didn't blame him. These were the people who'd broken him and destroyed his opportunity to do what he loves and had been brought up to do.

"Please don't tell me you believe that. If he'd stayed on as assistant coach, maybe he'd have learned to stomach your failures. Now that he's playing with you, there's no way he'll last the season." the Raven across from Renee said. "We know Kevin better than you ever will. We know how much your incompetence must grate on him."

"Yeah?" Thalia said, looking at that particular Raven, who seemed slightly shocked that she had spoken again. "Well why don't you ask Kevin what he wants, yeah? Because since we're talking about him and he's right here, I don't see the harm in that."

"They know how I feel," Kevin said, clearly prompted by Thalia's words. "But words alone won't fix anything. A team that needs this much work requires a larger commitment than that."

"See, it's not like he's shy with his opinion," Aaron said as he brought a glass of water to his lips.

"You won't stay," Jean said. It was more of a command instead of a prediction. "Face the facts, Kevin. Your pet is and always will be dead -"

"Kevin, you have a pet and you never told us?" Andrew said, trying to get the topic off Kevin's return to the Ravens. "Where do you keep it?" Thalia smirked at that, knowing Andrew was getting on Jean's nerves now.

"Don't interrupt me, Doe," Nicky whimpered beside Thalia and Andrew's slight shift in mood let Thalia know exactly what Jean had just said. There was no way that Andrew and Aaron's mother would have entered him in the system with the surname 'Minyard' if she could ever help meeting him, so she likely entered him with a different name, or allowed for one to be picked for him. Doe must have been that surname.

"Oh, points for trying," Andrew said, smile only growing. Thalia concluded that it was only his drugs that were making him like that, but to be honest, she wasn't so sure anymore. "but save your breath. Here's a tip for you, okay? You can't cut down someone who's already in the gutter. You just waste your time and mine."

"Amen," Thalia said quietly, taking a discreet drink from the small flask she'd brought with her. Nobody really noticed, but Nicky elbowed her and she held it out for him, but he shook his head and looked slightly disgusted. Thalia shrugged and put the flask away.

"Enough," Dan snapped her fingers. "This is a district event and there are twenty officials on hand. We're here to get to know each other, not to start fights."

"Speak for yourself," Thalia mumbled as she slumped in her chair slightly. She was getting uncomfortable with the situation, but had lately realised that the Foxes took relaxation as a sign of being okay, and tensing even the slightest put them all on edge. So she tended to go through the rights and wrongs of a situation in her head, and plan all escape routes through slowly moving eyes across the room instead of frantically darting them around.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all. That goes for both teams," Dan said and looked pointedly at Andrew, Neil and Thalia. 

"Is that why your child is being quiet?" Riko asked, obviously missing the most important part of Dan's speech. "He doesn't have anything nice to say?"

"Actually, I'm younger than Neil, so you can't really call him a child." Thalia interrupted, still in a tense but slumped position.

"He was very spirited the last time we met. Or was that all just an act for the media?" Riko said, looking at Neil.

"What, you mean like everything you do for anything, ever?" Thalia said, coming to Neil's defense once again. She realised with a start that she was doing for Neil what Andrew was doing for Kevin. That was, until, Neil put a hand on Thalia's knee. Neither sat up straighter, however, but Thalia's mouth remained shut, taking Neil's touch as the 'shut up' it probably was.

"Hello, I am talking to you," Riko said, and Thalia almost bit down on her tongue to stop herself from speaking, so instead she clenched her jaw tightly. "Are you just going to ignore me?" Neil still said nothing, but gripped Thalia's knee harder. She was unsettled by the action, but knew he was doing it to stop himself from lashing out on Riko like he did in that interview that Thalia had only watched to see what the Foxes were like in the media.

"What a coward," Riko said with exaggerated disappointment. "Just like his mother." Thalia knew then that Neil would snap, no matter what. His hand left Thalia's knee and was placed on the table. She wanted to reach out to stop him from what he was about to do, but also wanted to see where this was going to go, so Thalia let the rant roll out of Neil's mouth.


	20. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHECKMATE
> 
> 'You think you're funny, right?  
> Calling me drunk when it's too late at night  
> Telling me truths that you know all are lies  
> Yeah, you think you're funny, right?'

"You know, I get it," Neil started, and Thalia was immediately impressed. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court - yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time." Thalia's eyebrows flew up and looked over to Kevin behind the seats.

"Neil," he said frantically. Nicky elbowed Thalia in the side, but she swatted his hand away and watched Neil, knowing he wasn't done just yet.

"I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago, so please, please, shut the fuck up and leave us alone."

Jaws dropped, and silence ensued, but Thalia was impressed. She laughed a little and clapped a few times, obviously snapping people out of their trances, because Dan looked shocked and told Matt to get Wymack.

"You can't say things like that," Jean said, still shell-shocked.

"Then why the fuck did Riko ask him to speak?" Thalia said incredulously. Jean turned on Kevin.

"What the hell is this?" he asked. Thalia understood it, but didn't remember learning the language. She knew it wasn't English, but couldn't comprehend why she knew it. She'd never learned another language. Had thought it'd be useless, and didn't understand Neil's obsession over learning Spanish.

"His antagonism is a personality flaw we're learning to deal with," Thalia snorted at 'antagonism' because what Neil just did was clearly much more than that.

"No! You should have dealt with him two weeks ago when he first stepped out of line. We trusted you to discipline him. Why doesn't he know his place yet?" Jean asked. "And she isn't much better, with all her snarky comments." Thalia frowned at Jean then.

"Neil and Thalia have no place in Riko's games." Kevin countered, and Thalia was grateful but confused.

"They are not Foxes!" Jean said. Thalia had almost had enough, but was still trying to understand why she knew what the two were arguing about.

"Funny," Neil said in the same language, startling Thalia and Jean. "I'm pretty sure the contract we both signed said Palmetto State University." Thalia pointed to Neil in agreement, though she was sure Jean wasn't paying attention to her.

"A contract does not change facts." Jean argued. "Did you two forget who bought you." Neil looked confused and Thalia snorted.

"I don't have any memories, so no. Not really." Thalia said, making Jean frown a little, but he got back on track easily.

Kevin looked as lost as Neil and Thalia. "Jean, what are you talking about?" Jean seemed shocked that they didn't know what he was talking about.

"You don't know," Jean said. It was clearly supposed to be a question, or maybe an accusation, but it didn't come off as either. "You don't know? But why else would you have recruited them, Kevin?" 

"Neil has potential, and we were a player short, so he suggested Thalia." Kevin said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which, to Thalia, it was. Jean laughed.

"You useless fools. How any of you live this long when you're so miserably stupid is beyond my understanding." Jean said with his hysterical sounds. 

"What the hell is going on over here?" Wymack said as he approached with Matt trailing behind him. Thalia looked at him with a small smile on her face as if she were finding the situation extremely amusing.

"Well, Jean here it explaining something about buying people, which I understand is pretty illegal in America, so -"

"Shut up, you illiterate fool," Jean hissed in what Thalia had guessed by now was French. Thalia looked back at him with raised eyebrows. 

"I did not lie," Thalia said. Jean side eyed Thalia as he turned in his chair and spoke to Riko in a hurry. She figured it must have been Japanese, but Kevin seemed to understand what she didn't. Riko looked between Kevin, Neil and Thalia - who stuck her tongue out at him - and responded to Jean.

"On your feet. Abby is taking you to a different table." Wymack explained. "She's talking to Blackwell's coach over there. Go see her." Thalia stood up along with the rest of the team, but Jean grabbed her arm, along with Neil's, and said something in quick French that Thalia only understood parts of.

"Riko..time..unless you want..Butcher's children." was all Thalia understood, though Neil and Kevin seemed to have got all of the sentence, because Neil pushed Kevin back and looked at Jean.

"That's not true," Kevin said. Thalia glanced helplessly between the two of them, and finally back to Jean.

"Would you mind repeating that, I didn't quite catch all of it." Thalia said to him with a gake sweet smile on her face.

"I would suggest you take Riko's time later, unless you two want everyone knowing you're the Butcher's children." Jean said in French. Thalia was confused, but Kevin whimpered again, and Neil looked stone cold.

"Shut up," he said, mostly to Jean, but possibly to Thalia and Kevin as well. "Don't say anything else."

"Run along, it's what you're best at, isn't it?" Jean said to Neil, then turned to Thalia. "Well, that and faking your own death to get out of the Ravens nest."


	21. XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DIE FOR THE HYPE
> 
> 'A juvenile sinner  
> A car-crash winner  
> Don't let the devil take you out for dinner'

The rest of the banquet had gone well, if your definition of well was a steaming pile of shit. After Neil and Thalia had insulted Riko to their maximum levels, they'd been moved tables. Thalia had realised it was probably best not to ask Neil or Kevin what Jean had been talking about when he called Thalia and Neil 'The Butcher's Children' but had made a very strong mental note to hound them about it later.

After the dinner, Wymack had forced the unwanting Foxes - Thalia, Neil, Andrew and Kevin - to join the party or talk to people, at the very least. They'd gone around in a small group, talking to players and coaches they'd played and ones they hadn't. When they were outside of court conditions, most of the people there were tolerable, Thalia realised. 

Riko and the Ravens had approached the four of them, and had almost started another fight between the two teams, as the rest of the Foxes joined the boys and Thalia. Neil and her were summoned off the court as soon as Riko's uncle and the Ravens' coach, Tetsuji Moriyama, had arrived. His eyes had lingered on Thalia for only a moment before turning on Kevin. Thalia didn't want to leave, but knew that Andrew would be able to help if he was needed.

Jean had led the two into one of the locker rooms, where Riko was checking to see if there was anyone in any of the bathroom stalls. Once he was sure they were alone, he'd led the two into the front room. Then Riko turned on the two and smiled that icy sneer that put Thalia on edge more than she liked.

"Nathaniel, Nathalia, it's been so long," Riko said. Thalia didn't like that people suddenly started calling her Nathalia, and liked it even less coming from Riko's horrid mouth. Also, Thalia realised, Riko had added a 'Nathan' to the start of Neil's name. What did that mean?

"My name is Neil," Neil defended. "And this is Thalia." Thalia nodded in agreement with her teammate. 

"Do not lie to me again," Riko snapped. "You will not like the consequences." Thalia wanted to speak up, but a small hand on her's told her to stay quiet. "And she does not even know who you are, do you, Nathalia?"

"I know I'm too sober to be putting up with your bullshit." Thalia said. Riko didn't seem to be happy.

"Imagine my surprise when the results got back," Riko continued as if Thalia had never spoken. "Your fingerprints. Kathy gave me your glass as a souvenir." Thalia didn't know what Riko was talking about, though Neil obviously did. It must have had something to do with the Kathy Ferdinand show, Thalia figured, as that was the only time she could recount Neil and RIko ever having met.

"Explain something to me," Riko said, moving towards the pair. His eyes were fixed on Neil, however, and Thalia was still wondering what she had to do with all of this. The situation seemed almost laughable - a known member of a crime family was approaching Thalia and calling her Nathalia, saying that Neil's fingerprints had something to do with something, and wasn't cluing her in on the things she didn't know.

"Jean said Kevin did not know who the two of you were. And after seeing Kevin's reaction, I am inclined to believe him. Perhaps I can understand, Kevin is very close-minded when it comes to Exy. I may even forgive him for sheltering you from me. But I know that you, at least, Nathaniel, know you you are. So I'd like to know exactly what you think you are doing."

"I'm just trying to get by," Neil responded. Thalia was confused, but Riko's eyes flicked to her as if expecting an answer. She shrugged.

"I got picked up by the team when you killed one of theirs." Riko smiled again. It was the truth then, that he'd been the cause of Seth's sudden demise. Thalia had never known him, and from the games she'd watched, he seemed like a bit of an asshole, but she didn't know his full story, and was getting bits of it from Allison, and knew that he didn't deserve what he got.

"If I'd known our families were business partners I wouldn't have signed Coach's contract." Neil said, leaving Thalia even more confused before. She'd been putting things together throughout the rest of the dinner and time walking around the floor with the boys while staying completely silent.

Jean had called her and Neil 'The Butcher's Children' which would mean that they were either particularly close, or actual siblings. She knew the Moriyamas were a crime family, and so if what Neil just said, that their families were 'business partners' then that meant Neil's family were also in crime. And if what Jean had said was actually true, then that meant Thalia's family were in crime, because she was Neil's family. 

None of it made any sense, but Thalia stayed silent. It was what she was good at.

Riko seemed genuinely offended by Neil's words and stopped so close to the other boy they were almost touching. "You're lying."

"I am not." Thalia didn't know how Neil wasn't flinching. Thalia would have curled into a ball and begged to be set free by this point, even with the calm and powerful exterior she tried to put on most of the time. "I don't want to cause any trouble for your family. I don't want you to cause any trouble for mine. I'm just here for a year and then I'm gone again, I promise."

Riko looked sideways to Thalia, then back to Neil. "You don't want to cause any trouble for my family," he repeated Neil's words. Thalia was so uncomfortable she wanted to run out of the room or break something, and she didn't know which one would be a better stress reliever at this point. "You have already caused my family a sizeable fortune, eight years of trouble, and was to be my offensive dealer." Riko spat.

"How?" Neil asked, avoiding the last point Riko had brought up. "The money we took was my father's." Riko looked as if he might laugh.

"If you think that acting stupid will help you, you are very mistaken." Riko said eventually.

"I'm not acting." Neil said, stepping back. "My mother never told me why we were running. She said it was my father's money. She didn't even tell me about you. If I'd known the money was yours-"

"Nothing your father owned was his." Riko snapped, interrupting Neil. "Especially not you." he turned to Thalia, who'd been silent in an attempt to blend into the shadows. Riko then pushed Neil against the wall.

"I refuse to believe she never told you." he spat. "All that time running and you never asked why?"

"Have you met my father?" Neil asked. It was clearly rhetorical, and Riko understood that, staying quiet. "I didn't need to ask." Riko dropped him and turned on Thalia.

"I bet you asked, didn't you," he said. "You always were a curious little bitch." Thalia's throat went dry. There was no way she could have known Riko as a child. She would have remembered that cold face and icy eyes, even with severe amnesia. He walked towards her, but Neil tried to hold him back. Riko pushed him again and Neil got the hint, though Thalia wished he'd keep helping her.

"I don't -" Thalia was interrupted by a door banging down the hall. She didn't move her head to the noise, afraid that Riko would take that vulnerability and attack her. "I don't know. I don't even know why the fuck I'm in here," then something dawned on her. Something else Jean had mentioned.

'That and faking your own death to escape the Raven's nest.' He'd been talking to Thalia, about Thalia. It was clear to her now. She had known Riko and Kevin. She didn't know how long for, but she'd lived with them. Those little snippets of memories where she mentioned her 'friends' and her mother had cut her down. They were real, and they were about Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day.

"You were not running from your father, Nathaniel," Riko rounded on Neil again, obviously knowing he wouldn't get anything out of Thalia. "You were running from his master." Thalia was almost too caught up in her thoughts to even hear him, but the words stuck in her brain as background noise to be processed later.

"He didn't have one," Neil replied.

Then Matt was in the room, and he didn't seem pleased. "What is going on here?" he asked.

"He didn't have one," Neil repeated, as if whatever he was saying made it true. Maybe it did. Thalia didn't know. But she did realise that there were things that she remembered that had always felt out of context. Things that, until now, weren't relevant. She'd have to go over her memories, coherent or not, and link them to everything she now knew. Today had been better and worse than she ever could have imagined.


	22. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LITTLE LIES
> 
> 'If I could turn the page in time  
> Then I'd rearrange  
> Just a day or two'

"Why do you have numbers on your cheeks?" she asked. One of the boys laughed, while the other stayed silent, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. An elbow was shoved into her side. She looked up at the boy who'd done it, and frowned. "What? It was a question."

"It wasn't polite," he hissed. The boy stopped laughing.

"It's quite alright," he said, his eyes showing nothing but pure happiness. "It's because we want to be the best. We are the best. Number one and two."

"That's a bit of a power imbalance, don't you think?" she asked again. He elbowed her again. "Ow, stop that Abram. It hurts."

"What are your names?" Abram asked. It was the right thing to be saying. She knew that. She knew what she'd said to them wasn't polite. If she were at home, she'd have gotten a beating for that.

"Well I'm Riko, and this is Kevin." Riko said. "And you are?" he said, seemingly bored now that the conversation wasn't particularly interesting. But she was only nine, and he was only ten, and Riko and Kevin were twelve, at least.

"I'm Abram, and this is Anne." Abram introduced. Anne smiled and waved, and Riko returned her gesture. She thought that he was very good looking, and that he seemed like a nice person. Her mother had always taught her to be polite, and to never settle for any man that didn't know how to hold a proper conversation.

"It's nice to meet you," Kevin said his first words of the day, and Anne smiled at him. "Shall we practice?" he led the way onto the court, and from there, the four practiced a game of Exy that was as imbalanced as the numbers Kevin and Riko wore on their cheeks.

⥎  
⥐

"Thalia? Thalia!" a voice said, startling Thalia. She woke with a start, hitting whoever was closest to her. "Damnit, you wake up like Andrew? Nice to know." Matt's voice said as he choked and coughed to get air back into his lungs. It took Thalia a few moments to get adjusted and remember where she was.

The Fox bus was mostly empty, with only Thalia, Matt and Dan still on it. Thalia rubbed her eyes and stood up. She mumbled an apology to Matt and followed him and the captain off the bus. She grabbed her things and walked into the Fox tower after them.

The next day, Thalia heard a knock at the door, but Renee, who was watching something on the tv, got up and answered it before Thalia could. "Hello Andrew, what are you doing here? We don't have another session until next week." Thalia was confused, but put her head down and kept studying. She guessed she wasn't particularly supposed to hear whatever their conversation entailed.

"I'm here for Thalia," he said, fake cheer in his voice. Thalia turned at Andrew's voice and frowned. "Kevin wants to speak with you." she nodded and closed her textbook. Thalia stood and grabbed her keys and wallet, before following Andrew out of the dorm.

"I didn't realise you were Kevin's servant," she said sarcastically on the walk down to the carpark outside. Andrew laughed dryly, and didn't answer, since Thalia hadn't really asked a question.

Kevin was waiting in the passenger seat of the car and Andrew climbed into the driver's side, while Thalia took her place in the backseat. Nobody spoke while Andrew drive, and when they ended up at the court, Thalia wasn't exactly surprised. 

Kevin got out of the car first, and Andrew didn't make a move to leave, so Thalia followed Kevin into the stadium, only looking back once for Andrew. He didn't move, and his hand was stuck out of the window, a cigarette in hand.

Kevin didn't go for the locker rooms to get changed, like Thalia imagined he would. Instead, he walked straight into the court. He unlocked the door to the inner court and held it open for Thalia. She paused, wondering if she were walking to her death, but Kevin wouldn't look into her eyes, and looked sad about what was happening.

She walked in, and Kevin followed. He sat in the centre of the court, and Thalia did the same. She sat opposite him, and they both sat in silence until Kevin moved. He reached behind him and Thalia seized up, knowing this was the end. Kevin was really working with Riko, and wanted her dead for something she did.

But instead, Kevin pulled out a photograph from his back pocket and looked at it a few seconds before handing it over to a reluctive Thalia. She looked at Kevin before down at the page and her breath caught in her throat. 

There were three children in the photo. Two boys stood with a girl between them. She had auburn hair and a smile on her face, despite the teeth that were missing in front. There was a three on her cheek that matched the one and two that the unsmiling older boys had. 

"That's the only thing I brought with me from Evermore." Kevin said quietly. Thalia looked up at him to see that Kevin seemed like he was going to cry. "We were all close. I think you were the only person in the world that Riko cared about." Kevin chuckled lowly. "Sometimes I think that your disappearance was what made him go crazy."

"I think that's bullshit," Thalia said. Kevin looked up, slightly confused. "There's no way that monster every cared about anyone. Much less me." she said quietly. Kevin reached out and turned the paper over. There was writing on the back; (Left to Right) Riko Moriyama, Nathalia Wesninski, Kevin Day, pose for camera for Times, Riko describes Nathalia as 'My Little Sister' and Day as 'The Closest Thing I Ever Had To A Brother'

"Doesn't he actually have a brother, though?" Thalia said, remembering what Kevin had told her. He huffed a laugh and shrugged.

"Not technically. He's the outcast. And if he ever had a sister," Kevin paused. "Well, she'd be six feet under by now." Thalia was outraged by that, but stayed silent and processed it all.

"Jean said I faked my death," Thalia spoke up, handing the photo back to Kevin. He folded it and put it back in his pocket. "How, and why?"

"Because we came to get you," a voice said from behind Thalia. She spun around, and Kevin looked up. Neil was making his way across the court, a careful expression on his face. He sat down next to Thalia and looked into her blue eyes with his brown ones. "I begged her for three years to go back and get you. She'd hit me. Tell me you weren't worth it. That you'd been in the public eye for too long." Neil looked at Kevin and then back at Thalia. "Maybe she was right."


	23. XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FALLING
> 
> 'Forget what I said  
> It's not what I meant  
> And I can't take it back'

Neil pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Thalia. "We're all about sharing things today, aren't we?" she said lowly and sarcastically, though she took the paper. It was a newspaper clipping.

'Nathalia Wesninski's death thought to be suicide. Police officials not sure why, but it is thought that her death is due to her brother and mother's disappearance three years ago. Wesninski, aged twelve, had lived with Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day under Tetsuji Moriyama's care for three years. Nathalia was one of the best offensive dealers known in the world of little league Exy.'

"Suicide?" Thalia said, as if saying what she'd read would force it to make more sense. "I don't understand," she looked between the two men for answers and Neil eventually sighed.

"We had to get you out of there. The only way she could think of doing it was a suicide note. She made you write one and then we took you in the night." he said.

"That sounds very wrong in so many ways," Thalia said. "Also, who is this 'she' that you keep referring to?"

"Your mother," Kevin answered. "Mary Hatford. Which brings me to my questions of the day - first, how did the two of you get split up? and second, I can't believe your mother agreed to this. Why did she agree to this?"

"She's dead," Thalia said, realising something. She looked at Neil, who had his mouth open to answer, and was looking at her in surprise. "I'm right, aren't I?" Neil nodded slowly. Thalia had smelled burning flesh from the first thing she remembered. On the beach. The burning car. Someone hovering over her. Neil hovering over her.

"She died last year, and I buried her on the West Coast." Neil said, looking at Kevin with almost no emotion in his eyes. "It's where I left Thalia. She was injured badly, and would slow me down."

"Wow, thanks to know what you really think of me," Thalia muttered. "You care enough to 'beg her for three years to go back for me' but not enough to take me with you years later because I would 'slow you down'? Thanks for that." she was upset at Neil's words. She had trusted him, and those few words had cracked it a little.

"I figured the chances of you remembering me were slim, so I signed the contract. I was gambling on the fact that you didn't know the truth about my family." Neil argued. Thalia scoffed.

"How could he not? With me being there for what, three years?" she looked at Kevin for confirmation, and when he nodded, she turned back to Neil. "Why would they not have known, Neil?"

"I didn't know that the Moriyamas and my father were business partners." Neil shook his head. Kevin winced.

"They were not partners." he said definitively. That sounded just like Riko had yesterday, Thalia realised, and knew that they'd been taught to know that everyone was below the Moriyamas, and there were no such things as 'business partners'.

"I didn't know," Neil repeated. "It's why I suggested Thalia. It had taken me a few months to find her, or I would have suggested her the first time you came to see me." Thalia was very confused by the whole situation, but listened nonetheless. It was giving her background information, and that was something she desperately needed and clung to as much as she possibly could.

"Until coach told me about the Moriyamas this May I didn't know anything about Riko's family. After that I thought maybe that was why we met back then. I thought Riko's father and ours were discussing territories or something. But last night Riko said our father belongs to the Moriyamas. Why did he say he bought me. Bought us." Neil looked at Thalia for a split second at the end before turning back to Kevin. She did the same, not knowing either.

"Don't lie to me," Kevin said. "We are in enough trouble as it is." Neil shook his head.

"Our mother didn't tell us why were were running. I never asked because I knew what would happen if I did. I'd seen the consequences of questions like those," Neil looked at Thalia again and she frowned at him. He sighed and explained. "You asked. All the damn time when you first joined us. At that point, we'd already been running for three years, and I knew better than to ask questions. You were quiet a lot of the time, but apparently you asked too many questions."

"The Master always hated you for that too," Kevin said, looking down. Thalia sighed with frustration. 

"We never really talked about anything real. Always the weather, or the language we were learning, or the local language. The only time she ever said anything meaningful to me was when she was dying. Even then she didn't mention the Moriyamas. If I knew anything, neither me nor Thalia would be here right now. So tell me the truth."

"Okay, first of all, just because I lived there for three years, doesn't mean I remember it." Thalia interjected. She was feeling ignored, and wondered why she was even there, but then Kevin nodded at her, showing slight understanding.

"Your father was Lord Kengo's right-hand man." Kevin started. "The most trusted weapon in his arsenal. The territory he held was for the Moriyamas. If the government caught on, he'd be the one to take the blame and the force that kept the empire in line. But your existence made you loose ends."

"So we met you, and then what? they decided to take me in but not Neil?" Thalia asked. Kevin shook his head and continued.

"Kengo could have easily killed you and had it over and done with. But he decided to let the two of you earn your place." Kevin said. "Yes, only one of you would have lived at Evermore, but the day we met was your audition, of sorts. Whoever did better would live, and the other would be killed by your father." Thalia looked to Neil, who was staring at Kevin in shock.

"What?" Neil asked as if he hadn't heard Kevin at all. "What do you mean, audition?"

"You were just another player for the Master to train. There was two days for you to win him over. A scrimmage, first, to prove your skills and potential, and then the second day was to go over his instructions and criticisms. Whoever was the better player would live. The other would die." Thalia's breath caught in her throat.

"Yet here we both are." She said. "So what the fuck happened, Kevin?" it was like a child being read a bedtime story. She didn't want it to be over. Thalia needed to know what happened in the end.

"Neil and your mother ran away on the first night, and the Master took you in." Kevin said and then sighed. "From what I've heard and been told, he was going to pick you anyway." Thalia looked at Neil who was looking at the floor. She wanted to say something. She didn't think 'I'm sorry' would cut it. Neil would be dead if he'd stayed. But instead they were both here, after a thousand things going wrong and worlds being pulled apart, put together, and ripped to pieces again.


	24. XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LEGENDARY
> 
> 'Cause we're gonna be legends  
> Gonna get their attention  
> What we're doing here ain't just scary  
> It's about to be legendary'

Neil started to stand, though he looked shaky. "I'm going to be sick," he said. Kevin grabbed his arm.

"Nathaniel, wait," he said, but Neil twisted out of his grasp and pointed at Kevin with a finger. Neil looked much too pale and Thalia knew it was the thought of being killed by their own father plaguing him. It was running through Thalia's mind, though by the sounds of it, she needn't have worried about it. She would have lived anyway. She'd have a stupid three tattooed on her cheek and she'd be playing as the best offensive dealer in the country, possibly the world.

But instead she'd had a life of hell that she didn't even remember, and a brother who'd just heard he would have died eight years ago if he hadn't run. Thalia somehow felt bad for Neil. She understood now why their mother had run. Why she'd taken only Neil and not both of her children.

She resented the woman, but sympathised with Neil. He hadn't had a choice, and had asked her many times to go back for Thalia. She could understand the helplessness Neil must have felt.

"Don't call me that." Neil said in a threatening tone. "And don't call her Nathalia." Neil looked to Thalia once and then Kevin stood, Thalia following.

"Neil," she started. "Neil it's okay. I don't even remember having that name." she shrugged. "I don't remember a lot of things, but I do trust what Kevin says. I don't hate you for leaving me. Maybe I would if I had memories. Maybe I did. I don't know. But you didn't have a choice, and you would have been killed if you hadn't left."

"I do, though." Neil said with a slightly shaky breath. "I remember too well what it was like for you trying to forget that name. I remember everything. And I hate me for leaving you." Neil's eyes were watering. "I could have said no. I could have forced her to take you in the first place. But I didn't."

"Neil," Kevin said cautiously. "You should run."

"I can't. I ran for eight years, Kevin. It was horrible, even when my mother was alive. Where would I go now that I'm alone?" Neil said.

"You're not alone, Neil." Thalia said, moving towards him. "You have me. And as much as it is to take it all in, I'm your sister. You're my brother. I have to learn to accept that, and I don't know how long it will take, but if you asked me to go with you, I would."

"You can't. You have a future. You can go all the way, Thalia," Neil took her hands and frowned at her. "I know you don't remember but I used to hate every time we would get to a new city, because it meant you would ask all the strangers a shit ton of questions." Neil laughed and sniffed back tears. "It was unsafe, and I'd had three years of practice by the time we picked you up. But I grew to like it. It was difference in all of the sameness." Thalia smiled.

"The Master will want to take you back." Kevin said, getting both Thalia and Neil's attention. He looked awkward. Kevin Day was known for his skill on the court. Not his empathy and emotions. "He'll sign you both for the Raven lineup in spring."

"What makes you think we'll say yes?" Thalia said.

"He won't give you a choice." Kevin argued. She shrugged.

"I don't give a fuck." Thalia said and Neil snorted. Kevin didn't look pleased, and shook his head.

"Then run."

"No." Neil said again. He and Thalia stood facing Kevin now, who seemed like his argument was failing. 

"Don't be stupid," he said quietly, though there was nobody around to hear him other than Thalia and Neil.

"Running won't save us this time." Neil defended. "If the Moriyamas really do think we're a threat, they'll send people after us. We could only just outrun our father last time. How are we supposed to get away from his boss?" 

"At least you'd have a chance." Kevin seemed sad. Thalia wanted to comfort him. Tell him that they'd be alright. That running wasn't the answer anymore. Thaila may not remember much of her time on the run, but she did remember that it wasn't nice. None of it was ever a good thing. Always the fear of being caught. The fear that something she'd done would get them killed. It was the same sort of dynamic in even her foster homes. Particularly the last.

"A chance to die alone somewhere else," Thalia said. Kevin looked at her then. She could tell he didn't want them to go. He didn't want to lose that part of his childhood again. Thalia might not remember much of her time at Evermore with Kevin and Riko, but the parts that were foggy in her mind seemed to tell her that she and Kevin were close. 

"If I was going to run, I should have done it in August," Neil spoke up. Thalia looked at him. She wasn't there in August. They would have still been separated. "Andrew told me it was my last chance to get out. I chose to stay. I wasn't sure he was going to be enough the stand between me and my father, especially if I brought Thalia into all this, but I wanted this too much to care about the risks. Maybe I didn't fully understand the risks then, but this hasn't changed."

"I don't want to run. I don't want to be a Raven. I don't want to be Nathaniel." Neil said, looking into Kevin's eyes. "I want to be Neil Josten. I want to be a Fox. I want to play with you this year, and I want to make it to Championships. And in spring, when the Moriyamas come for us, I'll do what they're so afraid I'll do." He looked over at Thalia. "I'll go the FBI and tell them everything. Let them kill me. It'll be too late then."

"Neil," Thalia started, but knew her words fell on deaf ears, and instead she just looked down.

"You should be Court. Both of you." Kevin said in barely a whisper. It was enough to make Thalia look up. Neil's plan was stupid, and scary, and made Thalia want to throw up. Thinking of him being dead by the end of the year, and possibly being in the same boat made Kevin's statement all that much worse. He'd believed in them. Helped them get better. He wanted them to go far in life. And neither of them were going to make it. Because they'd be playing with the Ravens or dead by the next season, and neither wanted to play with the Ravens, especially after knowing how Kevin's injury happened.

"Will you still teach us?" Neil asked.

"Every night." Kevin said to Neil and then looked at Thalia. "You're welcome to join us. We practice every night at around eleven. You can meet us here or we can bring you with us." Thalia nodded, showing that she appreciated his thoughts of her, and agreeing to join. If this was Thalia's last year on this earth, she was going to make it worth it.


	25. XXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLAWS
> 
> 'There's a hole in my soul  
> I can't fill it, I can't fill it  
> There's a hole in my soul  
> Can you fill it? Can you fill it?'

Thalia was standing in front of a canvas and was painting little purple flowers in the eye sockets of a girl's face. She heard someone enter the room an turned around. Andrew stood against the doorframe with his arms folded. Thalia turned around and continued painting.

"You do a lot of odd pieces of art," Andrew commented. She couldn't argue with that. Her style was different than most of the others in her classes. While a lot of people preferred painting landscapes and colour blocked pieces, Thalia liked painting people and difficult situations for them to be in. It made what she'd been through more real, and helped get her message across.

"Depends how you look at it." Thalia responded. She could hear Andrew's boots walking around the studio. Likely he was looking at her work, but Thalia had to be sure he wasn't ruining it. She turned and watched him. If he noticed, he didn't seem to mind, and continued walking. Every so often he'd stop and really look at one.

Something reminded Thalia of when Andrew had first come in here. He'd spared a glance at a piece of Thalia's that represented self-harm. She thought about the black armbands Andrew always wore. Everyone thought it was to help distinguish the twins, and then learned that he carried knives under them. But there was something else. Thalia realised there had to be more.

"You cut, don't you," she said. It wasn't so much a question as it was an accusation. Andrew stood from where he'd been crouched and looking at a piece of two hands. He turned to face Thalia and hummed as he made his way over to her.

"No," Andrew said eventually, when he was close enough to Thalia that she could see the lie in his eyes.

"Not anymore, maybe," she said. "But I saw you look at that piece last week. You wanted me to see you look at it."

"You seem to have enough problems for yourself," Andrew said. "I wouldn't want to burden you with mine. That's what therapists are for."

Thalia wasn't convinced, but she let the subject drop, afraid she'd get cut into ribbons and Andrew would use her blood as paint to finish her piece. She took her brushes and palette to the nearest sink and started washing. Andrew had stayed where he was by her canvas. 

"Why are you here, Andrew?" she asked, loud enough for him to hear. He hummed again. Once she was done, Thalia turned around and leaned back on the sink, folding her arms.

"I was walking around and saw the door to your beautiful studio open," Andrew said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He was hopped up on meds, which Thalia figured was the better option if Andrew didn't want to end up back in jail. "Just thought I'd say hi."

"Well, hi. Bye. Get out." Thalia said, moving to get her things. Andrew laughed dryly.

"And because Kevin wanted to see you." Andrew said, making Thalia stop in her tracks. Just yesterday she'd learned from Kevin that she'd lived at Castle Evermore for three years, and that she was possibly the reason Riko had gone mad. She'd found out from Neil that they were siblings, and that they'd been on the run from their father for years. 

"Why? We talked yesterday. There's no logical reason for us to see each other until next practice." Thalia was ignoring Andrew now, instead thinking of all the reasons Kevin might want to see her. Had all of that talk yesterday been a sick joke? Had he gotten Neil and Jean in on it too? Or were there things he wanted to add to the messed up information now circulating through Thalia's brain?

"I don't ask, I just pass along the message." Andrew said. "So you can either come with me or leave Kevin angry and make him come after you himself."

"Would that be so bad?" Thalia asked jokingly. It was a rhetorical question, but Andrew shrugged and started moving out of the studio. Thalia sighed and followed, locking the door behind her.

"Ah, that's better." Andrew said. They walked together in silence to the dorms. Andrew unlocked his dorm room and Thalia followed him in. Andrew headed to the kitchen, but pointed to the bedrooms. Thalia took the hint and made her way to the separate room.

She knocked on the door and heard a grunt, so Thalia entered. Kevin was sitting on his lower bunk bed and had a chess board in front of him. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed and was looking at the board intensely. 

"I didn't know you played," Thalia said. Kevin hummed and Thalia took that as a hint to join him. She sat opposite him and noticed he had the pieces set up in a problem. Thalia moved one of the pieces to create an opportunity for Kevin's black piece. He frowned. She moved the piece she'd intended for Kevin to move, to show him, and he looked at the board wide-eyed.

"I didn't know you played." he looked up at her. Thalia lifted an eyebrow and shook her head. She took all the white pieces in her hands and gestured for Kevin to do the same with the black ones. Then she picked up the board and stood. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Thalia walked out of the bedroom and felt Kevin following her. "It's too dark in there." she said and put the board down on the coffee table in the living room. She set up her pieces and ignored Nicky's protests against their blocking of the tv. "Get over it, Nicholas." she said.

Thalia took one of Kevin's pawns and one of her own, and handed them to Nicky. "Switch them around randomly in your hands and then put them in front of you, palms down." Nicky was confused, but turned the tv off and did as Thalia asked. She nodded to Kevin, who pointed at one of Nicky's hands. He flipped it over to show the white pawn. "Damnit." Thalia muttered.

"I don't understand," Nicky said. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Kevin took the piece and turned the board around so that the white pieces were on his side and the black ones were on Thalia's.

"It's good for Kevin, bad for me." Thalia said as she took the black piece out of Nicky's hand and placed it in its position. "White starts. Speed?" she asked Kevin, who nodded. "We betting on this? I've gathered that the team bets on a lot of things." Nicky laughed.

"Yes. A dollar each game?" Kevin said. Thalia nodded and placed her purse on the ground beside her. Kevin quickly dashed into his room to get his. He placed it next to Thalia's and looked her in the eyes before down at the board. 

"Go," Nicky said. Kevin moved his piece, and the game began. By the time they were done, Kevin had won six games, and Thalia had won fourteen. "Damn, where'd you learn to play like that?" Nicky asked as Kevin grumbled and handed over the last dollar. Thalia smirked. 

"First foster home." She said. Nicky seemed surprised by that bit of truth. "I was only there for two weeks. Ran away. But I'm a fast learner." Thalia shrugged. "They were good people, but I didn't trust them."

"Who do you trust, if not even the people looking after you?" Nicky asked, genuinely curious. Thalia looked to Kevin, who was putting his pieces away.

"Kevin, Andrew and Neil." she said, looking back at Nicky and leaning on her hands. Nicky frowned. He also seemed slightly saddened by the fact that Thalia didn't trust him.

"Andrew? Why do you trust Andrew?" he asked. Thalia shrugged again.

"I understand him and what he's been through. Same with Neil and Kevin. Well, parts of it." Thalia said as she stood up. Her knees clicked from sitting on them weirdly for the past hour or so. "And I'd consider them friends. Though I know Andrew would probably kill me for it and Neil would give me that look he has when people do nice things for him."

"You have that look too, you know." A new voice said. Thalia turned and saw Aaron closing the door behind him. Thalia shrugged.

"I know." she said. "Bye Kevin, thanks for the games." she smiled. "And the money." Kevin scoffed and rolled his eyes, but Thalia left the room feeling happy.


	26. XXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RENEGADES
> 
> 'Run away with me  
> Lost souls and reverie  
> Running wild and running free  
> Two kids, you and me'

When the Ravens' game approached, Thalia threw out all her thoughts on classes and instead focused so hard on training for the game that when Wymack took her aside at practice to talk to her about it she wasn't prepared, and didn't care.

"Your teachers say they'll talk to the deans about your work ethic and possibly suspend you from Exy until you get your grades back up." Wymack said. Thalia frowned, bouncing on the balls of her feet to try to get back to practice. Wymack sighed and took her elbow in his hand. "I don't know shit about art, Thalia, but apparently yours isn't up to par at the moment. I understand that you want to focus on the Ravens' game, but there's no point if you're not going to be able to play."

"Right, okay coach," Thalia said. "I'll get my grades up, I'll do all my homework. I promise. Now can I go back in?" Wymack sighed again but nodded and let go of her arm. "Thanks," she said and stepped into the box.

She went all out at the night practices, throwing shot after shot at Andrew, who deflected every single one of them. Thalia stormed out of the box one night and threw her stick and helmet on the ground. Neil followed her.

"Hey," he said. Thalia was running her gloved hands through her hair. She was frustrated. Even when using both hands Andrew was throwing her off her rhythm. It was annoying, and she wanted to hit something. Get back to her delinquent behaviour from early on in her foster home times. "What's wrong?" Thalia whipped round.

"What's wrong?" she asked, slightly hysterical. "Oh, I don't know, Neil. Probably the fact that he can deflect every single one of my shots, even when I switch my hands literally every shot."

"It's because you switch them every shot that he can deflect them." Thalia knew Neil was right, but she needed to do something to calm down. She started taking off her gear. She needed to go for a run. Thalia knew how dangerous it was running at night, but she supposed if she was on campus that it wouldn't be so bad. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm going for a run. I'll see you in the morning." Thalia put her shoes on and left the building without another word. She sprinted all the way back to the dorms, then realised that she wasn't calm enough, and jogged to the art studio.

She unlocked it with her keys and turned on the lights. Instead of going to the piece she was already working on, Thalia headed to where the canvases were stored. She took out a large one and placed it on an easel. She put paint on her palette and got the brushes she thought she'd need. Thalia didn't know what she was going to paint, just that she needed to paint something. Both for her class and stress.

She started a woman's back, knowing that she'd end up with two black wings sprouted from her shoulder blades. Thalia fell asleep in her chair and woke to the sound of knocking. She fell out of the chair and stood up, looking around, afraid of who would be there. It was Andrew. He seemed to be the only Fox who knew where her studio was, but she didn't want to talk to him right now.

"It's five am." He said. "I thought you'd be here." 

"Are you on your meds or not," Thalia asked, taking her things to the sink. Andrew didn't laugh, giving her all the answer she needed. "Why did you come here, I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Neil said you were mad that I was blocking all your shots." Thalia stiffened as she cleaned her things. She didn't feel threatened by Andrew, though she probably should be. It was more that she didn't like where the conversation was going. "You need to stop being so predictable." Thalia laughed. 

"I knew you'd say something like that." she said and walked over to where she'd put her keys in her haste the night before. "Get out of my studio."

"Is all this really yours?" Andrew asked with fake enthusiasm. Thalia didn't answer, but Andrew turned around and walked out. Thalia followed and closed the door behind her.

"Why do you listen to what he says, anyway?" Thalia asked Andrew. She looked over at him. Despite not wanting to talk, she'd noticed him walking close to her anyway. Andrew hummed, something Thalia was finding an annoying habit of his.

"I would send you to Renee to answer that question, but since it's you asking," Andrew said, trailing off.

"And what's the deal with you and Renee?" Thalia interjected. "Literally the whole team thinks you're dating. There are bets on it, but you probably already knew that." Andrew didn't smile, just like he never did when he wasn't on his medication, but Thalia knew he found what she'd said amusing.

"I don't like Renee like that," Andrew said. "She's a good acquaintance. A sparring partner. Fellow goalkeeper. Not a friend, and nothing more." Thalia understood that, though she didn't know they were sparring partners. That would make sense, but Thalia didn't know Renee's backstory, though it must have had something to do with fighting. Perhaps she'd ask the rainbow haired girl.

"Then who do you like?" Thalia asked. "You have to like someone. Even you."

"Well, I did think Roland was pretty fuckable, but that was a while ago." Andrew said, then pretended to think longer. Something in Thalia clicked and she suddenly understood. She didn't say anything, knowing her words wouldn't be appreciated, but she did have many questions. "There were a few guys in juvie that were pretty hot, too, but other than that, nobody, really." 

Andrew didn't look at her, but Thalia didn't need to see his face to know it was threatening. She wanted to ask everything that was going through her mind, but they stayed silent the rest of the way back to Fox tower. Then they went their separate ways and Thalia stood under the shower in her dorm, thinking things through.

⥎  
⥐ 

"Nathalia, wall!" Riko yelled in Japanese. She was still learning the language, so Riko and Kevin had to use simple words to give their orders. Nathalia looked to the wall and saw a ball bounce off it. She moved quickly to where it would go and caught the ball in the net of her racquet. She kept moving down the court and threw it at the goal. The lines lit up red, and Nathalia smiled in happiness.

"No!" Riko yelled and Nathalia's heart dropped. She turned and looked at the older boy. 

"What do you mean? I got it in." she said, confused. Riko stormed towards her and Nathalia could see the angry look on his face.

"But you used your left hand." he said angrily in English. "We are training you to use your right hand, and your right hand only." Riko sighed. "Sorry, but I don't want you getting hurt by the Master."

"It's okay," Nathalia said quietly. "I won't do it again." Riko smiled and shook her helmet affectionately before walking back down the court. Nathalia blushed and followed, ready to start the drill again.


	27. XXVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BURY A FRIEND
> 
> 'What do you want from me?  
> Why don't you run from me?  
> What are you wondering?   
> What do you know?  
> Why aren't you scared of me?   
> Why do you care for me?  
> When we all fall asleep where do we go?'

The Ravens' game was the biggest Thalia had ever played. She guessed it was the biggest the other Foxes had played, too, because Dan seemed as nervous as Thalia had seen her before. There was nothing more frightening than seeing your captain, the one who was supposed to be in control and have everything going right, mess up and become a ball of nerves.

Unsurprisingly, Kevin was also a mess, though he spent most of his time training Thalia and Neil at night and teaching the Foxes some Raven dynamics during the day. After one of their night practices, he took Thalia aside. "I want you to play with both hands." Thalia frowned. "I know you can do it. I've seen it so many times before. You're better playing with both. It'll throw them off."

"Alright," Thalia agreed. "But as long as you don't take another sip of alcohol for the rest of the week." Kevin's jaw clenched, obviously unhappy with the arrangement, but knowing he needed Thalia to do the best she could, even though she was the subbing striker, and he and Neil were likely to play most of the game without her.

"Fine." Kevin muttered and Thalia nodded, happy with their agreement. He went downhill from there. The no alcohol rule Thalia had implemented only lasted because she'd talked to Andrew about it, and the two of them had hung around Kevin like a bad smell.

Sober Kevin was hard to deal with, and he got angry about all the little things that didn't really matter because Nicky wouldn't be able to fix his speed in two days, and Allison wouldn't be able to get enough power into her passes to make it as far down the court as they were needed. Thalia had to calm him down often, because Andrew wasn't any help with the Kevin situation. He seemed to only step in if Kevin was being attacked. Not if Kevin was attacking others.

By Friday, it was clear that Kevin wasn't going to be able to do well in the game without help from a little friend called vodka. Thalia brought his stash back to his room and poured him a glass. Kevin looked confused, but drained the glass nonetheless. Thalia filled it again and he drank the second helping. He reached for another, and Thalia held the bottle away.

"I thought you gave him a no alcohol rule," Aaron said, emerging from the bedroom. "What's with this?" They were due at the court in fifteen minutes, and the other boys were in their bedroom getting ready. 

"This is just a little helper for tonight." Thalia said to Aaron, then turned back to Kevin, who was just being affected by the substance he'd put into his body. "No more until after the game. Then you can have as much as you well fucking want." Thalia put the bottles on the bench, and helped Kevin into a standing position. She looked over to Aaron, who was waiting for his cousins to emerge. "We'll meet you down there." she said and helped Kevin out of the door.

Once they were in the parking lot, Thalia leaned Kevin against the door of Andrew's car. He was standing fine, but after not having anything in the past week it was taking some getting used to having the vodka in his system.

"I remembered something today," Thalia said. Kevin looked at her expectantly, and she continued. "I remember being with you and Jean, back at Evermore." she said. The memory was coming back to her even as she spoke it aloud. He hummed and Thalia cleared her throat, ready to continue her story.

"It was just you and me, and we snuck into Tetsuji's office," Thalia knew Kevin could tell where the story was going when his eyes darkened and he went tense all over. "You found a letter. It was from your mother." Kevin looked slightly feral.

"Don't say another word," he said, this time in French. His voice was low and threatening, but Thalia had dealt with worse than Kevin. "Don't you dare say another word."

"Why?" Thalia asked. "Are you scared of what I'll say? Because It's not that bad." she shook her head. "It's your choice, but I think he deserves to know. I know what it's like being kept in the dark about something. Not knowing things is a bitch, and nobody deserves that, especially him."

Kevin didn't answer, and the cousins and Neil approached them. Thalia climbed into the center of the backseat and waited for the others to take their place. Once they were all inside the car, Kevin turned from his spot in the passenger seat and looked at Thalia.

"Fuck you," he said in French. Neil was behind Thalia in the boot of the car, and his hand on the back of her neck was nothing but questioning, but she tensed up at the touch nonetheless. Kevin turned back around and Nicky drove to the stadium. Thalia shook off Neil's hand and looked out the front window between Nicky and Kevin's heads.

The Ravens were intimidating at the very least. Thalia had done as Kevin asked and played with both of her hands, switching between the two every so often. It threw off the Ravens, except for Riko, and, apparently, Jean. Perhaps since finding out about Thalia's real identity, Riko had remembered she was ambidextrous. He'd clearly told Jean but nobody else, because when Jean was trying to mark her, it wasn't as hard for him to predict what she was about to do.

The Foxes still lost, though when Thalia looked up at the scoreboard after the game, she saw that the Ravens had taken a total of 150 shots on goal, and Andrew and Renee combined had only missed thirteen of them. She flocked onto the court with the rest of the subs and made her way over to where the team was gathering around the goal. Nicky hauled his cousin up from the ground and put his arms around him. Thalia stood on Andrew's other side, who looked completely exhausted.

Andrew's withdrawal made him more composed and reliable, but it made him so tired that he'd crash at any moment. Thalia believed it a relief that he hadn't passed out or thrown up yet. They were herded off the court and into the locker room. Dan and Renee handled the press while Wymack gave the others a debriefing. Their loss was expected, but Wymack was still proud of them. He'd promised a party with an all you can drink buffet back at Abby's after the game, but Thalia just wanted to be by herself.

"Hey," she said to Andrew. He barely slowed on the way to his car. "Can you drop me off at the studio?" he didn't acknowledge her, but Thalia knew Andrew had heard what she'd asked. He drove to Thalia's art studio, confusing all the men in the car, and she thanked him before getting out and telling the others she'd see them tomorrow.

⥎  
⥐ 

"We're getting a new recruit tomorrow," Riko said. Nathalia looked up from the book she was reading. It was hard to focus, since Riko had trained her hard today. But she needed to get up to the right page or she'd be falling behind in her classes. It wasn't as if she had anyone to compete with - Nathalia was homeschooled, just like Riko and Kevin. 

"Oh?" Nathalia said, going back to her book. Riko hummed and let the subject drop. He turned around and started making a sandwich. He put one on a plate and cut it in half, handing it to Nathalia. She smiled and thanked him.

"You're welcome," Riko said. "His name's Jean. A little French bastard. He'll be fun, I suppose." Nathalia smiled quickly before taking a bite out of her food, knowing it was what Riko wanted her to do. She was only twelve, but heard a wide variety of curse words almost every day. Some were directed at her, others at Kevin or the other players on their team. Riko was violent, but not to Nathalia.

He brushed a stray hair out of her face and Nathalia looked up at him and blushed. Riko was fifteen, and relationships were forbidden, but Nathalia couldn't help that she got a warm feeling whenever she looked at him. He was just so nice. So kind. So..Riko. And she loved that.


	28. XXVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LONELY BOY
> 
> 'Well your mama kept you but your daddy left you  
> And I should've done you just the same  
> But I came to love you  
> And I want to flee'

It was the third time she'd been picked up for petty theft. Thalia was trying as best as she could to stay out of her homes. One way to ensure that happened was to get sent to another one, or, preferably, a juvenile detention center. That hadn't happened yet, and she was slightly thankful. Secretly, Thalia didn't think she'd survive a day in a place like that.

Many times she'd gotten into fights a school, or just on the streets with anyone who bumped her or walked too closely to her. Thalia was trying to get into trouble so she'd be moved on to the next home. It was a routine. Something she was used to. Something she liked.

Like always, Pig showed up to interrogate her, though they really only ever had a little chat about Thalia's behaviour and how it needed to change - it never did - and Thalia would asked her famous question; how are the kids?

This time, though, Phil wasn't alone. There was a woman with him. To Thalia, she seemed oddly familiar, as if she should know her from somewhere. The woman hadn't been any of her previous foster parents, and she was quite sure she'd never seen her at a school, so Thalia was confused and annoyed. 

"Thalia," Pig started, sounding tired, though that was nothing new. Thalia was beaming to hide her tenseness and calculating feelings about the situation. "This is Stephanie Walker. I told her about you, and she said that she'd be happy to take you in." Thalia hummed as she pretended to think.

"How about...no." Thalia said and slumped back in her chair. Stephanie smiled and laughed a little. Pig looked annoyed at Thalia, though she only raised an eyebrow.

"My daughter used to have your spirit," Stephanie said in a voice that made Thalia want to gravitate towards her and agree to everything she said. It made her believed whatever the woman said, no matter the consequences, though Thalia knew better and she didn't move a muscle.

"She was very much the delinquent you are when I first fostered her. I then went on to adopt her, and she's calmed down a little since then. My little ray of sunshine is such a good girl now." Stephanie said, making Thalia hate her even more than she already did.

"I don't care about your 'little ray of sunshine'." Thalia said. "I don't want to live with you, Miss Walker. I want to live by myself, and I can't wait to get out of the system." Pig and Stephanie looked at each other, and Phil nodded with a sigh.

"Thank you, Stephanie. I appreciate it." he said as she left the room. She said something about bringing the kids up to North Dakota, but Thalia tuned them out and looked into her reflection instead. Her auburn roots were beginning to show, and Thalia made a mental note to get a bottle of blonde hair dye on her next 'shopping trip'.

⥎  
⥐

Andrew picked her up from the art studio at around eleven the next day. Thalia had, not for the first time, fallen asleep on her stool. She was very good at sleeping in one position, even if that position is upright on a tiny wooden stool.

"We're getting lunch." Andrew said, then walked out of the room again. Thalia grabbed her things and locked the door behind her before following Andrew to his car. The first thing Thalia noticed was that Kevin, Nicky and Aaron all looked absolutely shitfaced, and that Neil seemed completely sober. She'd noted that he hadn't drank the one time she'd gone to Columbia with Andrew's group, but didn't realise he didn't drink at all.

"You're a bit boring, aren't you?" she asked him, leaning over to talk to him in the boot of the car. Then Thalia switched to French, which she still never remembered learning. "We not have much alcohol on the run?"

"We had plenty," Neil responded. "But we only used it to sterilise things for stitching up wounds and to take the sting out of it." Thalia wished she hadn't asked, and remembered all the scars on her body that seemed haphazardly stitched back up. It made her wonder how many were from her life on the run, her father, and how many were from Riko back when she was living in Castle Evermore.

If what Kevin had told her was right, then Riko probably hadn't hurt Thalia as much as he did others, but it was clear that Riko's uncle Tetsuji wasn't as emotionally connected to anyone. She didn't doubt he wouldn't hesitate to lay a hand on even Thalia.

After lunch, Nicky seemed to have sobered up enough to drive, so Thalia was stuck between the twins as he took them to a party shop. Halloween was on a Tuesday, so there was a party at Eden's Twilight the Friday before. Nicky hadn't shut up about it for weeks, and though Thalia tended not to spend much time around him, she'd heard it enough for it to stick in her mind.

They headed inside and to the back of the store. Thalia didn't look around at the decorations near the front of the store like Nicky and Aaron were doing. She walked up alongside Kevin and saw that he wasn't in a much better state than the one he'd been in when they'd left.

"Hey," Thalia said, linking her arm in with his. Kevin seemed startled by this action, and didn't say anything in response. "You know it's not your fault we lost last night, right? They're better and meaner than us. We didn't really have a chance, but we put up a good fight."

"Our spirit was good, and everyone tried their best." Kevin said, looking ahead. "That's all that matters, really." Thalia didn't say anything, not knowing what to say, and her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out to see a text from Dan.

'y are the cops looking for u?' was what Thalia read. It made her stiffen and stop in the the aisle, causing Kevin to stop too. "You okay, Thalia?" he asked, unsure. She wasn't listening, and Aaron pushed past her, turning her more on edge than she already was. There was only one cop that would come all the way out to Palmetto to see Thalia, and he was one of the last people she wanted to see.

'Tell Higgins to go fuck himself' she typed back angrily and shoved her phone back into her pocket. Thalia kept walking and ignored Kevin's asks if she was alright. She wasn't, and didn't think she ever would be as long as there was somewhere for her to go back to if she was thrown off the team for some inexplicable reason.

"I'm fine, Kevin," she snapped. "Let it go, okay?" Kevin, to his credit, did drop the subject, and Thalia angrily searched through racks of clothing. "Why am I even allowed to get into Eden's? I clearly don't pass for a twenty one year old." she tried getting out of the event.

"Neither does Neil," Nicky said, cheerily looking through outfits on the other side of the rack. "And they keep letting him in. Also, me and the twins worked there for a while before coming to Palmetto. It's why we get the VIP parking passes." Again, Thalia didn't answer.

"We should invite the others to come with us," Neil said. Thalia, along with Kevin, Nicky and Aaron, all looked up at him like he was being stupid. He was. Thalia glanced at Andrew who was taking things off racks and dropping them to the ground. She knew he'd never agree to it, and if he did, it would only prove a theory that was beginning to form in Thalia's mind.

"We don't associate with them," Aaron replied to Neil's suggestion. Thalia had picked out her costume - a pair of ripped denim shorts and fishnets along with a white shirt with holes in it - and followed Kevin to the counter to pay. She didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but when the others joined them, Nicky looked surprised, and Neil looked confused. It was clear Andrew had said yes. 

"I told you even you had to like someone," Thalia said in a whisper, a smirk growing on her face. Andrew didn't react, though Thalia knew he'd heard her. Things were getting interesting, and Thalia was having fun for the first time in a long while.


	29. XXVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERYTHING'S OKAY
> 
> 'Keep giving me hope for a better day  
> Keep giving me love to find a way  
> Through this heaviness I feel  
> I just need someone to say, everything's okay'

Halloween was hectic, and Thalia didn't know how to feel around so many people. She'd gone as a dead person, with fake blood and one of Andrew's knives for added effect. It was a surprise he'd let her borrow one, considering the comment she'd made while they were out shopping, but he'd obviously been too occupied by Higgins to think much of it. So was Thalia.

She knew that Andrew had lived with the Spears at some point, likely his last home, but didn't know how many kids there'd been between the two of them. Every time she thought about it, Thalia wanted to throw up, so instead she threw herself into school and exy.

Her artworks became darker than ever, and her teachers made her go to a therapy session. It was the first time she'd met Betsy Dobson, and Thalia decided she hated the woman. Neil had told her he did too, and she could see why.

"Thalia, how are you feeling today?" Betsy asked with a sweet smile on her face as soon as she sat down on the woman's couch. It was comfortable, but Thalia was sitting straight with her legs together and hands clasped tightly on top. "Would you like some hot cocoa?" she asked.

"I don't like sweets," Thalia said with a shake of her head. She looked to a shelf behind Doctor Dobson and saw a lot of glass figurines. She nodded towards them. "Where'd you get those?" she asked, deflecting the conversation away from herself. Betsy noticed. Of course she did.

"Andrew got a lot of them for me," Betsy said, her smile growing. "Do you like them?"

"No."

"Well I hear that you're an art student," Betsy said, moving on slightly but not completely. Thalia didn't want to talk about Andrew, because it would lead her to think of the Spears and cause her to go into a spiral of hatred and bad thoughts. "What mediums do you like best?"

"Acrylic." Thalia said, looking anywhere and everywhere except for Betsy's face. She was searching for escape routes apart from the door, which was the obvious one, but other people would see her out in the hallways, and that wasn't ideal. There were only two windows, and they were far too high for Thalia to reach.

"That's interesting," Betsy said. "Your teachers told me you like painting people, is that right?" Thalia nodded. "Why?" that got her attention. Betsy's smiled didn't waver. Thalia shrugged.

"Because people are easily manipulated." Thalia wondered how much Doctor Dobson knew about Andrew's past, and how much he'd told her about Thalia, if anything at all. She wondered if the doctor knew they'd lived in the same home at different times, and if the owners of that home are being investigated for terrible things.

"And why do you think that?" Thalia thought this shrink was on thin fucking ice, and soon enough she would break the sheet and slip. Or Thalia would hit her over the head with one of her stupid glass figures. Whichever one came first.

"Because it's the fucking truth." Thalia said heatedly. Dobson nodded. When the session was over, Thalia was out of her seat and out of the door before Betsy could say anything more. She headed straight to her studio.

The night of the party came, and the whole team headed to Columbia in two cars. Neil had been relegated to Allison's car because there weren't enough seats in Andrew's car, and Kevin had decided that they weren't going to break any road rules that night.

They'd stopped off at Sweetie's first, and had a whole meal instead of just ice cream, since none of them had eaten since before the game. They were all crammed into a booth, with Thalia in the corner - which she wasn't happy about - Neil next to her, and Kevin and Andrew on the other side of Neil, while Nicky, Matt, Dan, Allison and Renee were spread around the rest of the booth.

Nicky mostly kept up conversation, and Thalia had to praise him for it, considering neither Andrew or Aaron were joining in with any conversation. Kevin joined in occasionally, and Neil, obviously remembering it was his idea that they all came out together, helped Nicky in occupying the other Foxes.

"Why do you have his medicine?" Neil asked Kevin in French. Thalia had noticed that too, and leaned on the table to listen to his answer. Kevin turned as much as he could in his seat and looked between the two.

"It's temptation, right?" Thalia answered for him. Kevin nodded. 

"He'll take them if he has them. Temptation, yes, but also because when he's adjusting like this, the temptation will be stronger than normal." Kevin answered and Thalia nodded, sitting back in her seat. She understood temptation. Understood how harmful it could be.

"Temptation's a bitch," Thalia said. She didn't realise she'd said it in English until the rest of the team was looking at her. Matt, especially, looked startled. "For, you know," she stuttered, trying to figure out how to come back from that.

"Shit," Allison said. Thalia snapped her head to her. Allison had her eyes wide. "You're an addict, aren't you?" Thalia narrowed her eyes at her, silently telling her to shut up, but Allison didn't. Of course she didn't.

"What?" Matt asked. He looked slightly scared, like Thalia would pull out something like speedballs and force feed it to him. "You never...you never told us."

"Why would I," Thalia said, gaining her bored face. "It doesn't matter. I've been clean for months."

"Yeah well I was clean for years before this lot took me out here and gave me a relapse," Matt said, looking between Andrew and Thalia. Nicky shied away, clearly uncomfortable. "Just be careful." Thalia scoffed.

"Yeah, whatever." she said and slumped into her chair. It took a few minutes for the others to fall back into conversation, and even then, it was strained with the new information they'd learned about their youngest recruit.

⥎  
⥐

When Kevin was drunk enough to not care, Thalia nodded to Andrew - who was also not in the best state of mind - and dragged him out onto the dancefloor. There was some sort of electro-pop song playing, and Thalia jumped up and down, Kevin eventually following her movements.

"I thought you said you couldn't dance," Thalia yelled over the music. They were both drunk, and had been for a while, but she could tell Kevin was more intoxicated than she was. It was clear in the way he hadn't even bothered to be brought down the stairs to the floor. He was holding her waist, and despite everything in Thalia telling her this was wrong and was too much like what she'd been forced to do only a couple of months ago, she knew it was okay. Kevin was her friend. She trusted him. She knew he wouldn't hurt her.

"I can't," he yelled back, a lazy smile on his face. Thalia laughed, and the song switched, though it was still upbeat. There were many different types of costumes, and some made the wearer bigger, so it was annoying when the two were pushed into or away from each other. But they made do, and mostly focused on having fun.

"But you're having fun?" Thalia asked, just to be sure. "You're enjoying doing something other than exy?" Kevin seemed to think about it for a few moments before smiling and nodding. "That's good, Kevin. That shows you're not as stuck up as everyone thinks." He laughed, and Thalia smiled.

"Who thinks that? Who dares to think that about the great Kevin Day?" he said, making Thalia laugh loudly, though she could only just hear it over the thumping of the beat. Or maybe that was her heartbeat at being so close to someone. She looked up at Kevin and knew it wasn't the former.


	30. XXIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALL MY LOVE
> 
> 'All your love will make us ache  
> All your love is worth the chase  
> All my love, I know they'll let it find us'

Thalia was sitting in her room, writing a report on a piece of art she was studying when there was a knock on the door. She was the only one in the room, with the other girls at class.

Nicky stood on the other side of the door, looking frantic and in desperate need of help. Thalia raised an eyebrow. He held out his phone and Thalia frowned. She took it and saw the caller ID said 'mom'. She didn't know why Nicky was frantically trying to make her answer a call to his own mother, but she picked up the call.

"Hello?" she said, looking at Nicky. The other line was silent for a moment, before a voice came through.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," the woman on the other side said. "I must have dialed the wrong number. Again, sorry," Thalia cut in then.

"No, this is Nicky's phone," she said. It was silent from the other side again before a strangled laugh cut through the silence. 

"Oh, well I'm Maria, Nicholas' mother." Maria said. "Are you my son's girlfriend?" Thalia looked confused and slightly repulsed. Nicky took it the wrong way and put his head in his hands as he sat down on the couch.

"No, I'm Thalia, Nicky's teammate." she said. "He's not here right now, and I heard his phone ringing, so I picked it up. Sorry, I'm quite curious." Thalia lied and Nicky looked at her in slight thankfulness.

"Oh, well would you pass on a message?" Maria asked. Thalia hummed. "Could you ask Nicky if he'll come home with the twins for Thanksgiving? We'd like to reconnect with our family." Thalia frowned again but hummed. 

"Sure. I'll tell him, though I'm not sure Andrew will agree." Maria began to thank her but Thalia hung up the phone. Nicky looked at her expectantly. "She wants you and the twins to go home for Thanksgiving." she handed back his phone and Nicky seemed like he was processing things. "Also, your parents do know you're gay, right? Your mother just asked me if I was your girlfriend." Nicky choked a laugh.

"Of course they know. It's why they hate me so much." he leaned his chin on his hands. Thalia didn't know Nicky's whole story, but understood enough that she sympathised with him about his past. "There's no way he'll say yes. It'll be a miracle if he does."

Thalia sat down beside him. "Hey, I don't presume to understand what your family's like, but I do know that it can be hard." Nicky looked up at her. "Get Neil to ask Andrew. He'll say yes."

"How can you be sure." Nicky sounded sad but slightly hopeful. It was clear he wanted to go, even if his parents had treated him badly for things he couldn't control. He wanted to fix things. Thalia could see that much. Nicky was like an open book to her.

"Just trust me." Thalia said, not giving away anyone's secrets, especially Andrew's. Nicky sighed and stood. Thalia followed him to the door. "If you need support, I'll go with you." he smiled in thanks. As Nicky was going out into the hallway, Thalia called his name and he turned, eyebrows raised. "Hey Nicky?" she said. "I do trust you." it took Nicky a moment to realise she was referencing their conversation from a few weeks ago, but he smiled widely and nodded when he did, turning to Neil and Matt's dorm.

⥎  
⥐

"I've been trying to find you a new home for days now, Thalia." Pig said. "You're not making any of this easier with the way you're acting." she didn't acknowledge him, instead choosing to slump further in her seat and stare at the mirror she knew had more cops behind it. She'd decided to let the auburn grow out, and Pig still didn't think it was her natural colour. 

"Can't I just be a street rat?" she asked sarcastically, still looking at her reflection. "I've heard it's fun. You know, steal bread, save princesses, become a prince. All that fun stuff." Thalia finally tilted her head to look at Higgins with a fake smile on her face. He was standing by the door to the room with his arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face.

"This isn't Aladdin, Thalia." he said, walking over and sitting down opposite her. "And you don't have a choice. It's either foster home or juvie." she sat up in her chair and leaned over with a smirk on her lips.

"Ah, so I do have a choice." she said. Higgins huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes. "Well, in that case, I'll need three to six business days to give an answer." 

"You don't have three to six business days, Thalia." Pig warned. "The next time you're back in here, you'll either go to juvie straight away, or another home, and if you run away from that one, then you'll go to juvie. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Straight there."

Those words resonated through Thalia, though she didn't show it. She sat back in her seat and looked over Pig's shoulder to think about what he'd said. He took this as her not caring and sighed again, before standing and leaving her in the room by herself.

⥎  
⥐

"Renee," Thalia said as she caught up with the girl. She was walking across the Green to Fox tower, and Thalia had seen her rainbow tips from meters away. Rene stopped and turned, a smile on her face.

"Hello, Thalia." they started walking together. "What's up?" 

"Your last name's Walker, right?" she asked, slightly out of breath. Renee hummed a yes. "Is your adoptive mother called Stephanie?" Renee looked to her side at Thalia and nodded. "I met her a few months ago."

"Really?" Renee asked. Thalia nodded, confirming. Renee chirped happily. "That's interesting. And why was that?"

"Why did I meet her, you mean?" Thalia asked. Renee hummed again. "I was in trouble with the cops. They wanted to put me in a new home, and the officer who, for some reason, likes to look after me, brought her in to see if I wanted to stay with her." Thalia laughed. "She called you her little ray of sunshine. I laughed at her."

"It's a small world, isn't it, Thalia?" Renee said, a knowing smile on her face. Thalia nodded and thought about how she'd somehow ended up on the same team as both her brother who she'd been separated from almost a year ago, and someone who'd lived in the same foster home as she had. Then she thought about Kevin, and how she'd lived with him at Castle Evermore for three years, and how she'd almost been Renee's sister, too.

"Yes, it definitely is." Thalia replied. She didn't know how she felt about everything going on in her life at the moment, but realised that the people she was surrounded by were people she could learn to trust. Some of them she already did, but others she was warming up to. Slowly, but it was happening.


	31. XXX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POKER FACE
> 
> 'A little gambling is fun when you're with me   
> Russian roulette is not the same without a gun  
> And baby, when it's love, if it's not rough, it isn't fun'

"You need to stop making a habit of this," Thalia sighed and turned, paintbrush in hand. Andrew was walking around her studio, not for the first time that week. Thalia had quickly figured it was the nerves of meeting Nicky's parents. She didn't know what had happened between Andrew and Luther, but it was clear he didn't trust the man. Andrew hummed.

"I find your paintings calming," he said, looking closely at one with a king chess piece, though its shadow was a queen. It was one of the only pieces in the room that didn't have a living thing on the canvas. "And I'm feeling very much the opposite right now."

"Why?" Thalia asked, knowing she probably wouldn't be getting an answer, and was surprised when she did.

"I told him," Andrew said, still looking at paintings. Thalia understood almost immediately - Andrew told Luther about Drake. It was probably why he was hesitant to go to Columbia for lunch. Luther likely didn't take it well, or didn't believe Andrew at all, and brushed it off, forgetting about it completely. Suddenly Thalia wasn't so sure she should have told Nicky what his mother had asked of them.

"Oh," was all she could think of to say. It was all she could say, really. She thought of how emotionless Andrew seemed when off his drugs, and how it was almost definitely linked to childhood trauma. Then she thought how nobody could be completely emotionless, even Andrew. They were just suppressed so as to not get hurt again.

"I have a theory," Thalia said, putting down her things and speaking as if she'd been pondering on these thoughts for months instead of minutes. Andrew hummed to show he was listening as he analysed a painting with a rose emerging from a wrist.

"You tell people you don't care about anything. Don't want anything. But I think it's all to throw them off your back. You don't want people to think that you care, but really, you care so much about everything and feel as if you have to conceal it all." Thalia spoke. She saw the obvious tension in Andrew's shoulders, but pretended she didn't. For his sake.

"And what made you come to that conclusion?" Andrew asked, voice strained.

"Well, first of all, you changed your surname when you got out of juvie and went to live with Aaron and Tilda. Then, you killed Tilda to protect Aaron." Thalia said. "You got yourself thrown into juvie to protect Aaron from Drake, and then when you found out what Tilda was doing to him, you changed your behaviour so you could get out of there early. Do you see my pattern with this?" Andrew didn't say anything, so Thalia prompted him again. "I don't really care for Aaron, but it's clear to me that you do. And I understand why, he's your brother. If I found out I had a brother I hadn't known my whole life, I'd be pretty protective of him too."

Thalia thought of herself and Neil then, and wondered how similar they were to Andrew and Aaron. Not very, was her answer. But there were similarities. Ones that she liked to think about, and ones she wished she wouldn't.

"We have a deal," Andrew said. "That is all. I give him protection, and he sticks with me until graduation."

"You work heavily on deals, don't you," Thalia said. "But Nicky doesn't have one. And I don't have one. Why?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you," Andrew said, smiling and showing Thalia his insecurities, though he probably didn't mean to. "I'm leaving now. Goodbye." and then he did. His uncomfortableness and willingness to change the topic gave Thalia a clear idea of how right she was. She didn't want to admit it, but Andrew needed more help than his therapist was giving him.

⥎  
⥐

Sunday rolled around, and after a quick trip to Exites where Neil got a new racquet - a heavy one, at Kevin's request - the six of them headed to Nicky's parents' house. When they got out of the car, Nicky looked extremely nervous. Thalia took him by the shoulders and forced him to look down at her.

"Maybe this was a mistake," he said. Thalia shook her head.

"No, we're not backing out of this." she said. "This was your idea, you want to fix things with your parents, and I'm going to help you as much as I can because I'm sure these four are useless as fuck when it comes to family." Nicky let out a huff through his nose and nodded. Thalia let him go and looped her arm in his. "Alrighty. Let's go."

"Andrew, what are you doing?" Aaron asked, getting Thalia's attention. Andrew had Neil's racquet and was heading towards Luther's car.

"He's got a very shiny car for a minister." Andrew said. "I'm going to rough it up a bit for him." Neil reached out for the stick and took it from Andrew's hands. Nicky was shaking in Thalia's arms, and she held him tightly for support.

Nicky and Thalia stood right in front of the door, and she waited patiently for him to ring the doorbell. Eventually, Nicky sighed and lifted his hand, pressing the button, before almost running to the edge of the stairs, taking Thalia with him.

Nicky's mother answered the door. She was easily recognisable, and Thalia took all of two seconds figuring out all the resemblances between Maria and her son. She was smiling politely, which was so unlike Nicky that Thalia almost had to make a double-take. 

"Why did you ring the doorbell?" she asked her son, instead of saying hello to the group.

"This isn't my house anymore," Nicky said. Thalia squeezed his arm, showing her silent support. She smiled, too, slightly threateningly at Maria. She turned to Thalia, who held out a hand, overenthusiastically asking for a handshake. Maria took it.

"Hi, I'm Thalia. We spoke on the phone." Maria's eyes lit with a certain kind of recognition and she moved aside for the group to come inside. Thalia, still attached to Nicky's side, thanked her and walked inside. She didn't like Nicky's mother by the fact that she hated her son for being gay, but was willing to try for her friend's sake.


	32. XXXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LONELY HEART
> 
> 'Your precious heart, can't watch it break  
> So I close my eyes while you walk away  
> Can I have a second chance?  
> Can I have another dance?'

"You must be Neil and Kevin." Maria said to the two people now closest to her. "I'm Maria." her polite smile returned instantly. Kevin put on his press smile and nodded.

"It's nice to meet you." he said. Thalia smiled wider instead of snorting a laugh. Maria looked at the twins, and acknowledged Andrew as Aaron, which made Thalia almost actually laugh.

"Aaron," said the right twin.

"Oh, of course," Maria said, obviously embarrassed by her mistake. Andrew smiled wider than he already was, but it seemed more unfriendly than his normal ones, even thanks to his drugs. Nicky was shaking slightly next to Thalia.

"Maria, oh how lovely it is to see you again." he said. "Very interesting, you letting us back into your house and all. I thought you were going to file a restraining order against me. What happened to that, did you lose your nerve?"

"Andrew," Nicky said lowly in a warning, though it fell on deaf ears.

"You can leave your coats here," Maria said. For the first time since she'd left the car, Thalia let go of Nicky's arm. It was almost as if he'd lost all of his support and was going to fall to the floor in a crying mess anytime now."Can't you even tell your own nephews -" Nicky started, but stopped speaking when they entered the kitchen and he saw his father. Luther was all kinds of ugly, and exactly what Thalia had imagined when Andrew had told her very little about him. He looked as tense as Thalia usually felt, and it was clear this whole thing wasn't his idea.

"Nicky, Aaron, Andrew." Luther said eventually, after Maria had abandoned conversation and gone to the stove to work on the food, and everyone else had gone completely silent.

"Hi Uncle Luther," Aaron said. Nicky had gone mute at seeing his father, and Andrew clearly wasn't paying any attention, or at least wasn't willing to add to conversation. Luther turned his attention on the new faces.

"I'm Nicky's father. You can call me Luther." he said. "Welcome to my home." Thalia didn't feel very welcome, but she didn't say anything about it and nodded in thanks.

"You can set that down here," Luther said, gesturing to Neil's racquet. "Please get comfortable. Dinner will be ready in a moment." he said once Neil had put the stick down. Nicky led them out to the back porch, and Thalia sat down next to him, giving his hand a quick squeeze, showing him that he was doing great, even if it didn't feel like it.

When Luther and Maria had brought out all the food, they bowed their heads, and Thalia knew they were praying, but didn't bother with the tradition and instead rolled her eyes. Andrew also didn't pretend to pray, though Neil and Kevin both bent their heads in respect. Andrew tapped his fork along to Luther's words and Thalia smiled, finding it amusing.

As soon as they were done with their prayers, Luther reached for the food. He served the food, and Thalia reached to the center of the table to grab some instead of waiting. 

"Are you religious?" Luther asked Neil. Thalia looked up from where she was reaching for a bread roll and then went back to her task.

"No." 

"Why not?" Luther followed up when Neil didn't elaborate. Thalia picked apart her roll and started eating it while watching Neil. She didn't really care, but listening was something to do, and she figured it would be her answer as well.

"I'd rather not get into it," Neil said, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I don't want to start a fight." Andrew laughed.

"That's a first, you're usually so opinionated." he said. Nicky stiffened beside Thalia and she put a hand on his knee in support. She could understand his family weren't the easiest to deal with, especially when they were all joined together.

"I don't see how such question constitutes as a fight," Luther said, ignoring Andrew's comment.

"Dad, is that really the question you want to start with?" Nicky said, obviously unsure of himself. "You don't want to know how we're doing, or how school's going, or about the season? WE had a game in Florida yesterday. We won, you know." Thalia hummed and smiled.

"Nicky's right," she said, getting Luther's attention and taking it off his son. "We did win. And he played exceptionally, though Kevin would probably disagree. Sometimes I think Kevin disagrees with people just to piss them off." Kevin grumbled across the table from Thalia, which only made her smile brighter.

"Oh, congratulations." Luther said. Thalia scoffed.

"Yeah, you really sound like you mean it." she said. "Great job, Luther. Great job."

"So what are you studying, Nicholas?" Maria asked to fill the silence that followed. Thalia found it sad that it had been so long since Nicky had seen his parents that they didn't even know what he was studying at college.

"Marketing," Nicky said, sounding slightly happier. Thalia went back to eating her food once she figured he was alright. "Erik's cousin works for a PR firm in Stuttgart. She thinks she can get me a job there after I graduate."

"You're going back to Germany?" Maria asked, looking down the table at her husband. The smile Thalia was about to shoot Nicky fell short and she turned back to his mother instead.

"Yes." Nicky said, looking into his mother's eyes. Thalia would help if needed, but for now she figured he could hold his ground against her accusations. "Erik's career is there, and it wouldn't be fair to make him give it all up for me. I wouldn't want to, anyway. Germany's a wonderful place, you should visit us sometime."

"Us," Maria said, trying to comprehend what Nicky had just said. "You mean you're still..."

"Yes, we're still together." Nicky said. "I came home to look after Andrew and Aaron, not because things went bad with Erik." he took in a deep breath and put his hand over Thalia's to steady himself. "I love him, okay? I always have and I always will. When are you going to get that?"

"When will you accept that this is wrong?" Luther said and Thalia whipped her head around so fast she was almost certain she whacked Nicky with her ponytail. "Homosexuality is -"

"Luther," Andrew said. It was warning enough for his uncle to stop talking, but it was clear to Thalia that Andrew was beyond mad. Thalia understood now that any quips against Nicky's sexuality also hit hard to Andrew. He wasn't just defending his cousin, but also himself.

"I love him," Nicky said again. "Doesn't that mean anything to you? Why can't you be happy for us? Why can't you give him a chance?"

"We cannot condone sin." Maria said.

"You're just supposed to forgive and love the sinner," Thalia said to the only other woman there. "Isn't that what faith is about? I mean, I'm not religious or anything, but I think I kind of understand the general idea."

"Faith is following our Lord's creed," Luther said, making Thalia feel like she was playing a tennis match with all the turning from one adult to the other.

"But I can't be that black and white," Nicky said. he was clutching Thalia's hand now, and his was shaking. She put her other hand on top of his for extra support. "I won't be. Why did you call us down here if we're just going to have the same old fight again?"

Luther looked between his wife and son and said calmly, "Things have come to light recently that have made us rethink our situation. We are committing to fixing this family." Thalia snorted quietly, though Luther was undeterred. "We understand that it will be a long, uphill path. We brought you here to decide on the first steps together."

"And I'm pretty sure those 'first steps' don't include either Neil, Kevin or I," Thalia spoke up. "So you can do this another time. Hmm, how about never?"

"Enlighten us," Andrew said, leaning over his plate. "Give us the decision, and maybe we'll agree." Thalia knew that 'maybe's with Andrew meant 'no' and there was no alternative. "If the first step isn't tolerance, where do a pair of bigots like yourselves fit into this?"

"With reparations for past mistakes," Luther said calmly, looking into Andrew's eyes. "That is why you are here." Thalia frowned in confusion, not understanding, though it was clear hardly anyone else at the table did either.

"Oh no," Andrew said, smile still in place. "I am here because Neil whined until I agreed to come. Leave me out of this."

"And he only did that because I told Nicky to ask Neil to ask you." Thalia spoke up. Andrew looked at her shortly before turning back to his uncle.

"Let's eat," Maria said, calmer than anyone else at the table seemed. Thalia had already started, though she took her hands away from Nicky's to pick up her knife and fork. He moved his own hand and shakily took his utensils. Thalia wasn't liking the way this lunch was going, and figured it wouldn't get any better any time soon.


	33. XXXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HIGH ENOUGH
> 
> 'I used to like liquor to get me inspired  
> But you look so beautiful, my new supplier  
> I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking  
> But I found a different buzz  
> The world is a curse, it'll kill if you let it'

Silence encompassed the whole table for most of the meal, though Aaron spoke of people Thalia didn't know about. They were probably people he'd known when he'd moved out there earlier in his life, Thalia realised, and was silently thankful, because Nicky seemed to calm down a little. He didn't grip his utensils so hard, and he wasn't physically shaking anymore.

Towards the end of the meal, Andrew stood and went inside. Thalia got slightly nervous when Luther followed, but figured Andrew could hold his own against his uncle. She couldn't hear their conversation, but there didn't seem to be any shouting or screaming, and definitely no stabbing and killing, so she figured it was alright. Perhaps Luther was apologising for not believing Andrew all those years ago, but Thalia sat tense and rigid, staring at the door.

When voices started raising inside, so did Maria's, and she began asking Nicky about the season. Thalia was poised to grab her knife and run inside, and when Luther came back alone, she stood, getting the attention of everyone. She stared him in the eyes, but Luther went to sit down in his seat.

Neil stood too, looking between Thalia and Luther. "We'll do the dishes," he said.

"Kevin and I will help," Aaron added, already standing and collecting plates so that his aunt and uncle couldn't say otherwise. "That way you three can have some time to talk without us." Thalia carefully squeezed Nicky's shoulder and took some of the plates, going through so many situations in her head. Andrew was in danger. That much she could figure out by herself. She just didn't know how or if he could protect himself against the threat.

Kevin went in first and Neil followed after. Thalia went in after him, and Aaron followed her. She hastily put down the plates on the table and looked around the room. Andrew was nowhere in sight. She knew Neil had picked up on it too, and looked to him. She'd noticed his racquet was still where he'd left it, and walked across the room to grab it.

"Neil, uh, make sure Andrew's not breaking anything valuable," Nicky said in German. Thalia looked up and around. Everything seemed the way it had been when they entered the house, but that wasn't what Thalia was worried about.

"Nicholas, that's rude," Maria chastised. "Please use a language we can all understand."

"I'll find Andrew," Neil said. Kevin and Aaron were doing the dishes in the kitchen, but Thalia made sure that there was nothing going wrong, just in case. 

"Oh, no need to worry," Maria said, which had the opposite effect on Thalia. She tensed and clutched the racquet tightly, too worried to bother if she got splinters. "In fact, I think it's promising he's been gone this long. He'll be back when he's finished speaking with Drake." that sent Thalia into a spiral of negative emotions.

"Neil," she said harshly. He turned and obviously saw the worry and fear in her eyes. Thalia crossed the room and handed him the racquet. "Take Aaron," she grabbed him by the back of his shirt, no matter than his hands were slightly wet from drying dishes. "And go upstairs. Find Andrew." she pushed them into the hallway. Neil didn't have to be told twice, but she heard him telling Aaron to shut up as they climbed the stairs.

"Dear?" Maria said, sounding confused when Thalia stalked outside and grabbed Luther by the collar of his shirt, rearing back, and punching him. "What on God's green earth are you doing?!" she sounded frantic, but Thalia was so mad that she didn't care about Nicky or Maria's cries for her to stop.

"You bastard!" she hissed as she punched him again. Kevin had come out of the kitchen at the sound of the racket, and grabbed Thalia's fist, pulling her off Luther. She spat at him as Maria ran around the table to help him up. "How could you!"

"What the fuck, Thalia?" Nicky asked. She struggled against Kevin, but tears were welling up inside her eyes. 

"He told you! He told you and you didn't believe him," she said accusingly. Thalia stood on Kevin's foot to break his grip on her, and rushed over to Luther, grabbing him again. She slapped him this time, and then threw him to the ground. Thalia laughed sadistically. 

"What is wrong with you, child?" Luther asked, accepting his wife's help.

"You talk about how being gay is wrong, and how Nicky should be ashamed of himself, but you let a rapist into your home." Thalia said, moving forward again, but Kevin grabbed her again. "You let a rapist into your home, to rape your nephew!" she spat again. Luther looked disbelieving.

"Dad, what's she talking about?" Nicky asked slowly. There was a thud from the upstairs part of the house, and Thalia stopped breathing momentarily, worried at what or who that was. 

Thalia broke free of Kevin's grip once again, but instead of running for Luther, she turned and entered the house. She sprinted up the stairs and saw the door that was smashed open. Thalia entered and stopped in her tracks at what she saw. It took a whole minute for her to recognise and realise what was happening. What had happened.


	34. XXXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JUST THE TWO OF US
> 
> 'Good things might come to those who wait  
> Not for those who wait too late  
> We gotta go for all we know'

On the floor was Drake's body. She couldn't see his face because it was away from her, but there was blood all around him. Aaron turned at her appearance in the room. He stood from the bed and made his way over to her.

"Thalia, go back downstairs," he said, quite calmly for the situation. She ignored him and looked back to the bed. Andrew was wrapped only in the sheet and Neil was sitting next to him. Thalia looked back to Aaron, who she only just registered was covered in blood. She looked to the floor again and saw Neil's new racquet. There was no difficulty figuring out what had killed Drake, and Thalia took even less time guessing who had done it.

"Aaron," she said, heaving in breaths. "Move out of my way." Aaron didn't move, so she pushed past him and picked up the racquet. Thalia looked at it for a few seconds, before raising it and bringing it down on Drake's body. She let out all her anger on his already dead body and eventually dropped the racquet. Andrew was laughing, and Thalia knew it was due to his drugs, but she was inexplicably mad at him.

"You fucking idiot," she breathed, having also used most of her energy on beating her abuser. "He could have killed you." this somehow made him laugh louder. "Don't fucking laugh."

Footsteps rushed up the stairs, and Thalia turned when Kevin appeared in the doorframe. He recoiled at the sight, and went back downstairs to get Nicky and Luther. It didn't make it any easier.

Andrew had a large cut at his temple, and Thalia suddenly had another flush of anger run through her at the thought of what Drake had done. It wasn't long before Kevin returned, Nicky and Luther in tow, like Thalia knew they'd be.

Nicky looked around the room quickly before rushing to the bed. "Oh my god," he said, but Neil held out a hand.

"Don't," he said. Thalia looked at Neil quizzically. He was being protective of Andrew, which she'd never seen before. But that wasn't her top priority at the moment. Nicky reached out instead of moving closer. He took Andrew's face in his hands and looked him over, clearly scared.

"Andrew, are you okay? There's so much blood," Nicky said, not knowing how to process it all. "What happened?" Thalia looked at Luther, who was standing shocked in the doorway to the room. Thalia strode across the room to him, and he cowered slightly under her scrutinising gaze. She pointed a finger at him.

"This is your fault," She said angrily. "This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you. If you'd just listened the first time," Thalia was angry on Andrew's behalf, as well as her own. It could have been her in Andrew's position. Could have been anyone who'd lived with the Spears. Any of the five children between Andrew and Thalia, and any of the ones before Andrew.

"Thalia, stop fighting my battles for me." Andrew said wearily from the bed. "Nicky, I need to talk to your father. You have two seconds to get out of the way." Thalia relegated herself to just staring at Luther with hate. He was bleeding from a cut on his cheek and had blood running down his nose from where she'd punched him. It made Thalia feel better, but not enough to drown out the other feelings rushing through her.

"One," Andrew said.

"Nicky, get down," Neil warned. He did as instructed, and crouched so that Andrew could see Luther clearly.

"Oh, Luther, good. You made it." Andrew said, smile still on his face. Thalia wanted to siphon it off, but it wasn't Andrew. It was his drugs. She couldn't wait until next year when they were gone and it was just pure Andrew. She wanted to see what he was like when he was off them for a long period of time. She wanted to see what Andrew was really like, and not the drugged version of him.

"Saves me the trouble of going downstairs to find you." Andrew said. "Hey, as long as you're here, why don't you explain what Drake is doing here? I can't wait to hear it. I hope it's good." Thalia quietly seethed at the contradicting words and tone to expression on Andrew's face, but angled most of her anger at Luther and the dead body on the floor she wouldn't look at.

"What in God's -"

"No, don't ask what." Andrew interrupted. "You know better than that. You know better." Andrew leaned forwards, but Neil had to stop him from falling. "Looks like I was right about him after all. Go on, tell me that this was all just a big misunderstanding. Tell me how I'm too immature to understand normal brotherly love. Tell me I'm too unbalanced to understand brotherly affection. Tell me this is natural." Thalia was as tense as she thought she'd ever been, but hearing Andrew's words made her feel like she was going to snap.

"How did she know about it," Luther said, directing the question away from himself. Thalia raised her eyebrows in surprise, but didn't answer the question. "How did she know he was here?"

"Speaking of misunderstandings," Andrew continued, bringing the conversation back on track. "Am I remembering this wrong, or did you say you would talk to Cass? You told me she wasn't going to foster anymore kids after me, but apparently she's had six since I left juvie." Andrew said. "Six, including our dear Thalia here." everyone in the room stared at Thalia, especially Neil.

He looked mortified by the idea, and Thalia refused to look him in the eye. Nicky made a noise that expressed the words he wouldn't say, and Kevin made a choked sound. Luther snapped his head to Thalia, and had his eyes wide as they strayed from her to the dead body on his guest bedroom floor.

"I'm no good at maths, but I'm pretty sure six is a lot more than zero, Luther," Andrew said, getting his uncle's attention again. "How many do you think were at her house when Drake was home between deployments?" he asked. It was a rhetorical question. Luther wouldn't know. "Now you let him into your house. You put him under the same roof as your son. My brother. After everything I did to keep them away from each other? When I get my balance back I am going to take you apart Luther. This is your only warning."

Aaron turned and looked at his brother, his face white with horror and eyes wide. "This has happened before?" he asked, worry laced in his words. He turned back to Luther when he realised he wasn't going to get an answer from Andrew. "This has happened before, and you knew. You knew what he'd done and you brought him here anyway."

Nicky stood, moving out of Andrew's way so he could still see his father. "Is it true?" he asked, still looking at Andrew and the damage that had been done. Luther floundered for an answer, and then Aaron yelled at him to get out, which, to his credit, he did.

"Did you call an ambulance?" Thalia asked Kevin when she moved over to him. He was standing still in shock. Kevin looked down at Thalia and nodded slightly. "Good, he's gonna need it."

"I can hear you, Thalia." Andrew said, looking at her. The sirens were heard in the distance, and Andrew shrugged, taking off the armbands she was sure he'd always worn. Neil reached for his arm, which Thalia knew was a bad idea, even now, and Andrew clamped his free hand on Neil's wrist. "Just so we're clear, I'll kill you."

"Get rid of those. Pigs don't like it when people like me carry weapons." Andrew said. Neil took the bands and put them under the mattress of the bed. Thalia turned to leave the room, but Kevin gripped her upper arm.

"Was he telling the truth," Kevin asked in a whisper of French. Thalia stiffened. She knew what he was asking, and her silence seemed to be enough answer for Kevin, because he let go of her arm. She didn't leave, though. Only stared at the half-closed door as they waited for the ambulance and police.


	35. XXXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOPE FOR THE UNDERATED YOUTH
> 
> 'Just take my heart out  
> That'd make it better  
> Hiding all my feelings  
> But I know that I'm not dreaming'

Thalia waited with Neil at the hospital. They'd sent Kevin and Nicky to the police station to wait for Aaron's release, even though Thalia thought it absurd that they thought Aaron's actions were anything other than self defense. Nobody had mentioned what Thalia had done to Drake after he was already dead, because they all knew that would have consequences if the police found out.

She was bouncing her knee up and down and checking her watch every five minutes or so, nervously waiting for any kind of news on Andrew. "Mom got you that watch," Neil said quietly. She stopped moving her leg and looked up at him. "When we first picked you up, she took you to a jewellery story and bought you that watch." Thalia looked down at it and took it off her wrist. She flipped it over to the words engraved on the backside of it, which, in hindsight, made a lot more sense.

"Don't look back, don't trust anyone, and don't be anywhere for too long." Thalia read, then huffed a laugh as she put the watch back on. "Lovely." Neither of them said anything more until Wymack walked into the waiting room and demanded they follow him. Both of them obediently stood and followed him outside.

Wymack took them to a designated smoking area outside, and Thalia didn't miss the plastic bag their coach was carrying. Likely clothes for when Andrew was let out. She took out her pack of cigarettes, and Wymack watched her before doing the same. Neil held out his hand to the coach, silently asking for one. Wymack lifted an eyebrow.

"Last I checked, you don't smoke," Wymack said to Neil, then turned to Thalia who already had hers lit, despite the cold. "And you definitely shouldn't."

"I don't," Neil said at the same time Thalia said "The nerves." Wymack seemed unimpressed by Thalia and confused by Neil, but handed one over nonetheless.

"What are you doing here?" Neil asked.

"Kevin called." Wymack replied. "I brought clean clothes for Andrew."

"They arrested Aaron," Thalia said, tapping her fingers on her thigh. Wymack didn't miss it, but didn't comment on it.

"I know."

"Why?" Neil asked. Thalia looked at him as though he were stupid.

"Someone died on the other end of his racquet," Wymack said and Thalia tensed up.

"It wasn't his," Thalia said and took a drag. "It was Neil's."

"The police took it as evidence. Will they give it back or will I have to get a new one?" Thalia frowned at Neil. He was definitely being stupid now. She couldn't imagine ever seeing that stick again. The one that had killed Drake. It would forever haunt her. So would banging it on his head three times. She knew that much.

They were silent for a few moments before Wymack turned on Thalia. "What's your problem?" he asked her. Thalia frowned. "You're awfully quiet, and seeming very nervous, like someone's going to jump out at you."

"He was my brother," Thalia whispered between drags. She let that sink in and then stubbed her cigarette under her boot. "Legally, anyway. My birthday's on Tuesday, so he was still legally my brother."

"The man that died was," Wymack paused to understand what she'd said. Neil had been silent their whole wait at the hospital, and still didn't say anything now. "He was your foster brother?" Thalia nodded. "But I met your mother. We both did." he looked at Neil. "Cass was nice. I couldn't imagine a son of hers being like that."

"Well he was," Thalia said. Neil must have figured by now from many hints that Andrew and Thalia had both stayed with Drake at some point in their lives. "He was a marine, and had an underground business which his friends ran while he was away. He got me into the drugs and the other stuff. It's why I didn't hesitate to sign your contract. I needed to get away from there."

"Call Oakland," Neil said, startling both Thalia and Wymack. "Higgins deserves to know what happened tonight." Thalia shook her head frantically.

"No, coach you can't." she said. Calling Higgins would mean Cass knowing sooner than expected, and her coming out to Palmetto to see the body, Thalia, and probably Andrew. Andrew couldn't deal with that. Thalia didn't want to see her. And if Cass saw Aaron, she'd link him to Andrew. They were identical. The blame for her son's death would fall on Andrew, whether or not she made the conscious decision for it to.

"Give me one good reason not to dial this number," Wymack said, holding up a card and staring at Thalia. "I know you and Andrew both know officer Higgins, so why don't you want him to know about this?"

"Because he'll tell Cass, and she'll come out here." Thalia said. She knew her voice was wavering slightly, but she couldn't control it. "And I can't see her. I just need to last until Tuesday, and then I can kick her out as an adult. Coach, come on." She wouldn't say please. She couldn't. She wouldn't beg.

"You do it, or I will." he said, putting the card back in his pocket. Thalia sighed through her nose and blinked back tears. She pulled out her phone and dialed Higgins' number, but didn't press call until she took in a deep breath and let it out.

"Hello?" came Higgins' voice from the other side. Neil left them to go back inside.  
This is officer Higgins." Thalia tried for a cheery tone, but it fell flat and sounded more like a grimace.

"Pig, how're the kids?" she asked, swallowing and looking up at Wymack. He nodded in support and Thalia took in a deep breath.

"Thalia?" he said, sounding concerned. "Is there something wrong?"

"Well, I suppose it depends how you look at it, really." she said. "Bad news, someone died. Good news, it was the man you're currently investigating. So, closed case. Nobody needs to know. Don't tell Cass. Thank you and goodbye." Thalia went to hang up, but Wymack forced the phone open and she sighed.

"What do you mean?" Higgins asked, sounding surprised that Thalia had stayed on the line. "Shit, is Drake dead? You do realise I have to tell Cass, right? He's her son."

"Was," Thalia reminded him. "Just don't let her come out here if you do. He went after Andrew, and I don't think Cass would be able to take any of the news. I didn't even want to tell you, but Coach David Wymack is making me." She looked up at Wymack with a glare in her eyes. He didn't even flinch.

"Alright, well," Higgins obviously didn't know how to deal with what Thalia had just told him. "I'll get in contact with your local police department so I can get the full story and official report, but thank you for telling me, Thalia." she hummed and hung up. Thalia went to sit down on a bench and put her head in her hands.

"Hey," Wymack said and Thalia sniffed and looked up at him. She knew her eyes were probably red, but didn't care. "There was nothing you could have done." she laughed then.

"That's a lie." Thalia said and swallowed. "Nicky handed me the phone when he got the call from his mother. I told him that she wanted him and the twins to go to theirs for thanksgiving, and suggested Neil to persuade Andrew to go. If I hadn't done that, maybe they wouldn't have gone. We wouldn't be here if I wasn't so fucking stupid. All of this is my fault, coach."

"I will not hear that bullshit from you again, Thalia." Wymack said seriously. "Those are all huge maybes. They would probably still have gone. And if you weren't with them, things would have gone worse than how they ended up. You helped. You saved Andrew. He might be dead if you'd done nothing, or hadn't gone at all. But he's not. Because of you."

"What if it had been me, though?" she said. "There's the possibility. It's all I can think about. It could have been me if he'd known I was there. I don't doubt he would have stopped at just one of us, either." She shook her head. "You go and wait with Neil, I'm staying out here. I need another cigarette."

Wymack was hesitant to leave, but eventually did, and Thalia let out the tears she'd been holding in for the past few hours.


	36. XXXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BATTLE SCARS
> 
> 'These battle scars, don't look like they're fading  
> Don't look like they're ever going away  
> They ain't never gonna change'

Wymack took them back to the Columbia house. It was clear Neil didn't want to spend any more time in the city, but Thalia couldn't imagine going back to her teammates just yet. It had only been a few hours since the incident, and Thalia needed more time to process everything. 

Neil and Thalia had been relegated to the backseat while Andrew sat up front with Wymack, but none of them got out immediately when they pulled into the driveway. Thalia sighed and pushed the car door open. The men followed her lead, and soon they were walking towards the house. Thalia almost didn't notice the unfamiliar car in the driveway ahead of them, but Andrew smiled his manic smile and spread his arms as the door opened.

Betsy Dobson, the teams - but more importantly, Andrew's - therapist, stood in the doorway to the house. Neil stopped where he was, and Thalia wasn't long behind him. She hated the woman because she forced Thalia to speak and think about things she wanted to leave behind. Things she wished she forgot.

"Oh, Bee! What great timing. We were just talking about you," Andrew said. "I've got other things to do right now, but Neil said he would keep you company in my stead. You don't mind, do you? I didn't think you would."

"I mind," Neil spoke. "I have nothing to say to her."

"I'm sure you'll come up with something." Andrew smiled back at Neil. "You always do, right? It doesn't have to be the truth, you know. Bee's not expecting honesty from you. I told her not to trust a single word you said, or have you started playing the secrets game with her too?"

"I said no."

Andrew fully turned to Neil and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Thalia looked between the two and debated stepping in, but instead she stayed where she was, opting to listen to their conversation. "You misunderstand," Andrew said. "I wasn't asking, Neil. You helped create this mess, the least you can do is help clean it up. Where's your sense of responsibility?" Thalia tensed.

"Andrew, that's a little harsh," she said quietly, and, surprisingly, Andrew turned to her.

"And you," he said, but Thalia wasn't scared. "Did you know you could be charged with post mortem disfigurement, or something? Criminology classes come in handy with these sorts of things." Thalia swallowed. She'd figured something like that could happen. She looked down. 

"Where's yours," Neil asked, getting their original conversation back on track and away from Thalia. "Why didn't you tell Higgins?" Thalia looked up at that. She wanted to hear Andrew's answer to that. See if it was similar to her own. 

"He wasn't ready for it back then." Andrew said. "He and Drake were friends. They met in the PAL programme and hit it off somehow. I knew he wouldn't believe me, so I didn't bother trying."

"So you did nothing," Neil said. "You didn't lift a finger to protect Cass's other children. You knew what Drake would do to them, but you did nothing."

"There weren't supposed to be other children," Andrew said, sliding a glance at Thalia.

"But there were." Neil reminded him. Thalia squeezed her eyes shut. Andrew laughed and stepped forward, wrapping a hand around Neil's throat. Thalia tensed again, and she could see that Wymack was too, but she shook her head at him in a silent plea to stay out of it.

"I hope she was worth it," Neil whispered and Thalia took in a sharp breath. 

"Oh, Neil. You are far too heavy to tread on ice this thin." Andrew said.

"Is this how you stayed quiet?" Neil asked. He put his hand on Andrew's wrist, and though Thalia couldn't see through the fabric, and Neil couldn't feel through it, they all knew what lay beneath it on Andrew's pale skin. Thalia saw him physically tense, which was unusual for Andrew, though his smile was stuck in place. "Is this how you didn't tell her the truth about her son?"

"Maybe I did." 

"What were you trying to do, outlast him?" Neil questioned. "He was a graduating senior intent on enlisting, right? All you had to do was hold out till graduation and then she would adopt you. What went wrong?" Thalia already knew the answer. Andrew had found out about Aaron, and so had Drake. Andrew pulled Neil in and whispered by his ear. She already knew what he was saying. She didn't have to hear it, but she needed to make sure Andrew wouldn't kill Neil because as injured as he was right now, Andrew was still dangerous.

"He really did it, didn't he?" Andrew said, stepping back from Neil. His smile seemed wider than before. Thalia knew he was talking about Aaron before Andrew even said his name. She stiffened again, hoping to go unnoticed. "Probably the most decisive thing he's ever done. Where was that spine when his mother was beating him? It would have come handy in those years. Someone should congratulate him. Thalia, did you congratulate my brother?" 

Every muscle in Thalia's body seemed to tense and she stepped back, trying not to fall over. She almost didn't hear anything else but her own heartbeat. Then Neil was at her side, talking to her, bringing her back to the present. Thalia found her balance and pushed Neil off her without a thank you. She glared at Andrew. "No, though I suppose I should, shouldn't I." It was a rhetorical question, but Andrew nodded anyway, undeterred by her cold words.

"Aaron is under arrest," Betsy finally said from the doorway. "Why don't you come inside so we can talk about it." Andrew turned, seemingly surprised.

"Are you still here, Bee?"

"For a few moments longer. The milks almost done heating. I picked some up on the way so we could have some cocoa. I brought the entire cannister of the dark chocolate hazelnut with me. If we start drinking it now, we could probably make ourselves sick off it by midnight." Thalia hated the idea of drinking cocoa with Betsy Dobson, but knew she wasn't the one the therapist was talking to.

"You think of everything Bee," Andrew said. "We'll be in soon." Betsy nodded and headed inside. Thalia followed her, but only to grumble a question of where Nicky and Kevin were, and headed in the direction without a thank you. 

Thalia knocked on the door and walked in. Kevin was sitting in a chair near the window and had his head in his hands. Nicky looked up at her arrival from the bed he was lying down on. He scrambled to a sitting position and looked expectantly at Thalia.

"Is he okay?" Nicky asked frantically. He got up and moved towards Thalia but she put her hand out and he sat back on the bed. 

"Did you seriously just ask that?" Thalia responded. Nicky looked sheepish, but Thalia sighed and leaned her head against the wall. "No. He's not, but you know his drugs mess him up so don't be fooled when he smiles like a million watts at you."

"What about you," Kevin asked, small, from the corner. Thalia rolled her head over to look at him and shrugged. "Don't you dare say you're fine."

"It's the family trait," she said in French so Nicky wouldn't understand. Kevin's jaw clenched but Thalia sighed again. "No. I'm not okay. I don't think I ever have been."

"How did you know?" Nicky asked from the bed. Thalia looked at him with a blank expression on her face. "Did you -"

"Yes, Nicky. I lived with Cass." Thalia interrupted. "She was my last legal guardian. Drake was only home when he wasn't away doing marine stuff, but his friends were equally as bad as he was." Nicky gasped. "They're the ones that got me into the drugs and the drinking. I locked myself in my room for two weeks before I came here getting clean so I wouldn't have any problems with the rest of you. It helped that Drake wasn't around, and his friends didn't force me to go out and 'play' with them."

"Oh my god," Nicky said quietly. He had tears in his eyes. "Thalia. How long did you have to deal with that?" 

"Six months. Legally he's still my brother. Until Tuesday." Thalia said. 

"Tuesday?" Kevin asked. Thalia nodded. "But that's not your birthday," he said in French. "You're not eighteen until the New Year's."

"It's the day the courts gave me to be my birthday because I couldn't remember mine." She said in English so Nicky knew what they were talking about. "So that's the day I had to hold out till. This team was my saving grace of sorts." Wymack knocked on the closed door and called through it that Neil ran. Thalia looked to the two men in the room and opened the door to their coach.

"I'm sure he'll come back." Thalia said. "He always does." she smiled and closed the door in his face. Then Thalia turned to Kevin. "It might take three years, but he'll come back." she said in French. Kevin winced and Nicky looked like he was begging to know what they were talking about, but Thalia grumbled that she had to go the bathroom and opened the door. She needed to go for a run, too.


	37. XXXVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PAPER RINGS
> 
> 'The moon is high  
> Like your friends were the night that we first met  
> Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet  
> Now I've read all of the books beside your bed'

Neil did come back eventually. Thalia had already returned from her own run, and she'd stayed up to wait for him, though Kevin had offered her the chair in his room. She'd accepted, and sat in it for five minutes before standing up and walking down the stairs to sit in the chair in the living room.

"Thalia?" Neil whispered, out of breath from his run. She hummed. "What are you doing still up?"

"Making sure you came back." She answered truthfully. Neil seemed to wince, but Thalia stood and walked over to the front door. She locked it and headed up the stairs without another word. She forgot about Kevin's chair and instead flopped on the bed. She faced inwards so her back was closest to the wall, even though there was a measurable space between the two. But the door was on the other side of the room, and that was enough for Thalia.

⥎  
⥐

When she woke up, Thalia was alone in a bed she didn't recognise. She panicked, and lashed out, not realising there was actually someone else in the bed. Then she panicked more, and kicked out. There was a noise of pain and Thalia looked over the edge to see Kevin on the floor rubbing his ankle.

"Shit, Thalia." he muttered. "Just remember you're the one who got into my bed last night." She widened her eyes.

"Damnit, I'm sorry Kevin." she said. "I didn't mean to. I was just so tired I forgot about the chair. I panicked and kicked out. Sorry." Thalia muttered again and helped Kevin up. He seemed fine, just a little sore.

"I'm not worried about the bed thing," he said. "Just surprised. And It doesn't hurt that much." Thalia looked up into his eyes to look for any sign of a lie. There wasn't. Kevin seemed to misinterpret her look, and leaned down. Thalia didn't lean away, surprising herself. Instead, she closed her eyes and only tensed slightly when Kevin's hands rested on her hips. They'd done that before when they danced. But Kevin had never kissed her before.

Kevin's lips were soft, a complete contradiction to what Thalia had imagined them to feel like. He pulled away, unsure of himself, but Thalia grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to her lips again. She put her hands on his face and slowly moved her thumbs across his cheeks.

It felt like forever, but only lasted a few seconds. "I'm sorry," Kevin whispered and Thalia's heart dropped slightly.

"I'm not." she said as confidently as she could. Thalia opened her eyes and looked up at Kevin. He was gazing at her and then wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Thalia did the same and her head laid on his chest. She knew he wasn't saying sorry for the kiss. He was saying sorry for everything she'd been through. Everything she'd endured in her life. And she was saying she wasn't sorry, because if she had to go through all of it again to get to this point, she wouldn't change a thing.

⥎  
⥐

"Kevin," Nathalia whispered. She held her hands, palm face up. The older boy hummed and she entered his bedroom. She'd been in there a few times, but only briefly when the boys needed to get something on their way to the court or classes or some other place. "I fell over outside. Riko told me to get you to clean it up for me." He turned in his desk chair and crossed the room.

Kevin took her hands in his and looked them over. There were shallow grazes on her palms from the concrete. Nothing too major, but it needed to be cleaned and bandaged to avoid infection. Kevin took her over to his desk and opened a drawer. He pulled out a first aid kit and smiled at Nathalia. "For emergencies." he said, making her smile despite herself. "Let me see." He cleared the space on his desk and Nathalia sat on it, holding her hands out for him to see.

"Ah, I see what's happened," Kevin said. "You've been attacked by the concrete monster." Nathalia laughed and tried not to wince as Kevin pressed an antiseptic pad to her palm. "There, all done." he said once he'd put band aids on them. Nathalia smiled and jumped off the desk.

"Thanks Kev!" She said happily. Kevin smiled. 

"No problem, Lia." 

⥎  
⥐

"So, how'd you like California?" Kevin asked. Nathalia grinned and jumped around the room. He laughed.

"Oh, it was everything I imagined," she said and flopped back onto the sofa. "The beaches, the people. Oh, Kev, it was amazing!" Kevin laughed at her and moved her legs so he could sit down with her.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed it, but Riko's got a nasty sunburn." Nathalia sat up immediately, worried for her friend. "He's fine, just a little sore." Kevin said as he reached for the remote. Nathalia nodded and lay back down. She turned her head so she could see the tv. The two often watched cartoons together, though it wasn't exactly permitted. All they ever really watched were rematches of their old games, criticizing their own moves and mistakes. Nathalia found happiness in the difference, and contentment with spending time with Kevin.


	38. XXXVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MARS 
> 
> 'She was only seventeen  
> Had the saddest pair of eyes that you ever seen  
> Wore them lips in the cold, it was matching green'

Instead of joining the others downstairs, Thalia and Kevin decided to stay in his room. They talked about life at Castle Evermore, and what could have been if Thalia had stayed. She didn't have many regrets, and leaving definitely wasn't one of them, but leaving Kevin behind was probably one of the only ones she held.

"So, after I left, Jean got there, and Riko went batshit crazy," Thalia said. Kevin sighed and nodded. He looked down at his hands and Thalia moved hers over, intertwining them. He looked up at her and she smiled. "Sounds like a great guy."

"You liked him," Kevin said. Thalia frowned but didn't remove her hands. "He was nice to you, to make you like him. He was making you some sort of servant. You'd do whatever he asked, whatever he demanded. And you did it without hesitation because afterwards he'd go back to being kind to you. He wanted your trust." Thalia hummed, interrupting Kevin. 

"I don't really want to talk about Riko right now." she said. Kevin looked at her and she put a hand on his cheek. Kevin closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. 

"Then can we talk about what happened yesterday?" Kevin said softly. Thalia removed her hand and looked away. "I'm sorry, you don't have to. I just want to know how I can help you through whatever you're going through." She looked back at him, more vulnerable than she'd been in months. 

"Well I'm not grieving, if that's what you're asking." she said. Kevin shook his head. Thalia sighed and rested her head on his chest. He pulled her into a hug. "I don't know, Kevin. I'm fine, really. I'm not the one who got hurt this time."

"This time, maybe. But you have been," Kevin said. "And there won't be a next time. Not ever again. Not by him." Thalia clutched Kevin's shirt and he pulled her closer. She started crying without realising, and Kevin rubbed her back to calm her down.

"I know," she said eventually. It was quiet and didn't sound like Thalia, but it was her, and she had to compose herself. There was no time for showing insecurities when you were busy trying to stay alive.

"Come on, let's go downstairs. You need some food, and it might make you feel a little better." Kevin said. Thalia nodded and pulled away. His shirt was stained with her tears, so Kevin changed out of it and put on a new one. Thalia tried not to stare, but years of training to be the best of the best made Kevin one of the most attractive people Thalia had ever seen.

Once the two were downstairs, Thalia heard a knock on the door. She muttered that she'd get it and walked away from Kevin's side. Thalia opened the door, widened her eyes and shut the door again.

"What was it, Thalia?" Kevin asked. He looked scared. Thalia shook her head and swallowed. She sighed and opened the door again.

"You're not coming inside this house." she said and stepped outside, closing the door behind her. "What the fuck are you doing here, Cass?" Thalia crossed her arms in front of the woman that was only slightly taller than she was. Cass shifted from foot to foot. She wasn't wearing any makeup and looked like she'd been crying. She probably had.

"I came to see you." she answered. Her voice was small. "And to see Drake."

"You mean Drake's body? He's dead, Cass. You need to accept that." Thalia spat and headed back for the door, but Cass reached out and took Thalia's arm. She reacted without thinking and lashed out. Thalia didn't hit Cass, but it was a near miss. "Leave us the fuck alone."

"Where's Andrew? I want to see him too." Cass said and looked to the ground. "I know it's been years, but I want to make sure he's okay." Thalia flamed with anger. She stepped up to Cass and glared at the woman.

"He is not okay, Cass." She started. "Your son attacked him. Hit him with a wine bottle. Then he raped him, and probably would have killed him, too, if I hadn't realised what was going on and sent Neil and Aaron upstairs. You know, Aaron. Andrew's twin brother. Andrew's identical twin brother." Thalia crossed her arms. "He's the one that killed Drake. I'm not letting you in there because it is a safe space for everyone involved in this attack. Andrew won't want to see you, and quite frankly, neither do I. So get the fuck out of Columbia and leave us alone."

"Please, Thalia." Cass pleaded. She ground her teeth and grit her jaw. There was no way Thalia was letting Cass inside Nicky's house. 

"I hope you see the monster he really was when you look into his cold, dead eyes." Thalia said. Cass closed her eyes for a moment before walking down the driveway and getting into her car. Thalia let out a sigh and stepped back inside. She slid down the door and put her head in her hands.

"Thalia, who was that?" Kevin asked, now crouching in front of her. Thalia looked up. She didn't have to say it for Kevin to figure it out. He hugged her, and Thalia didn't pull away until there was a faint laugh from the stairs. She looked up and Kevin moved out of the way.

"Does the great Kevin Day have feelings other than obsession over exy?" Andrew said, manic smile in place. "That's a first."

Thalia stood and looked behind Andrew to the two official looking people. At the base of the stairs was Betsy, and Wymack stood off to the side. "Kevin," Andrew said, and Kevin obediently stood in front of him. Andrew pat him down for any injuries. Neil emerged from Nicky's bedroom, where Thalia imagined they'd been talking about what had happened. 

"Not injured," Andrew said when he was done. "That's a first. But for how much longer, I wonder. Bee, you know I don't think this is a good idea." Thalia frowned.

"What's wrong?" Kevin asked. Thalia looked over to where Neil was shuffling in place. He knew something. She could tell. But Thalia wouldn't say anything unless she had to.

"Oh, but you don't know," Andrew said. "Time's up, off we go. She's going to get rid of this for us." Andrew wiped a thumb across his lips and laughed. "Someone should tell the doctors what they're in for. They'll lock the door and throw away the key by the time I'm done with them."


	39. XXXVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YELLOW FLICKER BEAT
> 
> 'I'm a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm  
> And the scars that mark my body, they're silver and gold  
> My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones  
> It keeps my veins hot, the fires find a home in me'

"No," Thalia said and looked at the therapist. "No, it's too early."

"That's what Abby said," Neil muttered, grabbing Thalia's attention immediately.

"You knew?" she asked, knowing she sounded slightly desperate.

"I overheard them this morning," Neil said, looking stunned by the fact that Thalia had heard him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Thalia demanded Betsy.

"The right thing."

Andrew turned to his therapist. "Look at that, Bee. They want me sober as much as the next person, but only if it's the right time. I warned you, didn't I? Who will take care of Kevin while I'm gone? I can't trust him wandering around here on his own, and coach can't be with him all the time. Kevin's kind of a full time job."

"I'll watch him," Neil spoke up. Thalia, along with every other eye in the room, turned to him. 

"You?" Andrew asked, as if repeating it would make what Neil had said any more realistic and believable. Thalia knew Andrew didn't trust Neil, especially not enough to protect Kevin. Neil didn't say anything more, but Andrew took a few steps and pushed him. He moved forwards again, but Neil was ready for the attack and grabbed Andrew's arms, pulling Andrew with him.

"Oh Neil," Andrew said, smile firmly in place. "You and I both know you have a dreadful sense of humour, so this can't be a joke. What are you saying? What are you trying to do?" he asked in German. Thalia was the only other person in the room who could understand their conversation, but she didn't show any emotion, just like she'd trained herself not to.

"Take responsibility." Neil replied in German, using Andrew's own words against him.

"Usually such a good liar, but this time you aren't fooling anyone." Andrew said. "Am I to believe you'll hold your ground if Riko comes at you? Maybe I'll come back and you won't be here anymore."

"If I was going to leave, I would have done so at the banquet when Riko said my name," Neil said. "I won't lie and say I didn't think about it, but I trusted you more than I was scared of him. Trust me now. I'm not going anywhere. I'll take care of Kevin until you get back."

"Trust you," Andrew said and laughed, curling his fingers around Neil's chin. "You lie, and lie, and lie. And you expect me to trust you?"

"Then don't trust 'Neil'. Trust me."

"Oh, but who are you? Do you have a name?"

"If you need one, you can call me Abram." Neil said and Thalia remembered the day she'd met Kevin and Riko. Neil had called himself Abram then, and had called Thalia Anne. "I'm named after my father. Abram is my middle name. It's the name my mother used when she was trying to protect me from his work. Ask Kevin, he would know."

"Maybe I will." Andrew said. Neither of them said anything, but Andrew didn't move away. Then, Neil took Andrew's hand and slid it up his shirt. If his skin was anything like Thalia's, then Neil was probably showing Andrew all his scars. He couldn't have the rest of the room knowing, especially Betsy, so this was clearly the next best choice.

"Someone lied to me," Andrew said. "These ouches feel a little rough for a child on the run."

"The story I gave you was mostly true," Neil said. "I might have left out some critical details, but I know you're not surprised by that. If we survive this year and you're still interested, you can ask me about them. I think it's your turn in our secrets game, anyway."

Andrew pulled his arm free and folded both of them across his chest. Then he walked back to Kevin and smiled up at him. "It'll have to do, won't it?" he said. Thalia let out a breath and leaned against the wall behind her, trying not to look as nervous as she really was.

"I'll go see if Nicky is still breathing, then we can go, Bee." Andrew said and walked down the hall to Nicky's room. Thalia turned to Neil.

"Why did you tell him you could protect Kevin?" Thalia asked him. "We both know - as does Andrew - that that's not completely the truth. There's no way you and I will be able to beat the Moriyamas at this game. There's no way, Abram." Neil tensed. He knew Thalia was right, but she knew he had to try. Neil wasn't about to break his promise to Andrew, and Thalia wasn't going to break hers to Kevin - she would try to heal, and she would let him help.

"I know, Anne, but I have to try my best, and with your help, we can at least keep him safe until Andrew gets back." Neil said, not looking into Thalia's eyes. She huffed and went out the back to the garden. 

Thalia pulled a cigarette out of her pocket, and it took a few tries to get her lighter working. She cradled the heat in her palm and drummed her fingers on the railing of the deck. The door opened and closed a few minutes later and she was joined by Kevin.

"You don't think he can keep me safe, do you?" he asked. Thalia sighed and offered him the cigarette. Kevin shook his head and Thalia took another drag before stomping it out on the wood beneath her feet. She turned and put her back against the railing, looking to her left where Kevin was looking up at her.

"I do," she said. "At least until Andrew gets back." Thalia sighed. "Look, Kevin. I don't regret whatever's happening between the two of us, but now with Andrew going away, I think it would be best if me and Neil focused on keeping you safe from the Moriyamas." Kevin stood, and Thalia noticed he seemed to loom over her.

"What about keeping you safe from the Moriyamas?" he argued. Thalia looked away, but Kevin grabbed her chin and turned it back to him. "Thalia, I understand what you're saying about us, but I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. Not again." he said the last part quietly and Thalia's heart shattered into a million pieces. She put her hand on Kevin's face and he leaned into it like he had that morning.

"You won't lose me, Kevin." Thalia whispered. She knew what she was saying was foolish, and that Kevin was right - they needed each other more now than ever before. But she didn't want to have to be looking after herself and so many other people at the same time. She'd always known that attachments were wrong. They got you caught, got you killed. 

"Then don't do this," he said, eyes seeming to brim with tears. Thalia's own were pooling with water. "Don't push me away, Lia. I need you. I care about you." she closed her eyes and looked down. Kevin had won this battle, and she was willing to accept defeat. He understood and took her in a hug. 

She'd need all the support she could get over the next few weeks, and knew Kevin could give her that support, even if she tried to push him away. Kevin Day was determined in everything he strived for. Exy. Life. Thalia. There was nothing and no one that would pull them apart. Not even Riko Moriyama.


	40. XXXIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> REWRITE THE STARS
> 
> 'You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide  
> I know you want me, so don't keep sayin' our hands are tied  
> You claim it's not in the cards   
> And fate is pulling you miles away, and out of reach from me'

Getting back to campus was a nightmare. Thalia just wanted to crawl up in her bed and fall asleep, trying to forget what Drake's body looked like with one eye bashed in and Thalia's deadly hits against his side. But he'd already been dead. So she'd plagued herself with more nightmares for nothing except maybe her own selfish reasons.

The others waited in the hallway. Nobody said anything, and eventually Matt stepped aside, revealing Aaron's girlfriend, Katelyn. He practically pushed Nicky out of the way to get to her, and Katelyn made her way down the hall once Aaron had started moving. Thalia understood why Andrew hated her - she was a distraction and possibly a force that could harm Aaron. She didn't really care about Andrew's twin, but understood his feelings to Aaron.

Kevin put his arm around Thalia's shoulders in a show of support, and Thalia reached her hand up to lace her fingers in his. Everybody noticed the action and figured out what it meant. Thalia was staring ahead straight-faced and leaned up to Kevin's ear.

"I just want to go to sleep," she whispered in French. They were far away enough from Neil that he wouldn't hear her. "I don't want to have to deal with them tonight." the team probably assumed she'd said something else, because Allison smirked. Kevin only nodded and announced he was taking Thalia to sleep in his living room because she was tired - which was the truth - but still, nobody seemed convinced that was all they were going to do.

As it turned out, it wasn't. Kevin pulled out his stash of vodka and whiskey, and gave a bottle to Thalia. "Thanks," she said gratefully. Kevin sat down next to her on the sofa. The two of them drank through his whole stash that night, not caring when Nicky eventually returned back to the dorm, and not noticing that Aaron didn't.

⥎  
⥐

"Mmmm, I told myself I'd help you with your alcohol problem," Thalia murmured, eyes half closed and drinking a glass of water. "Not make it worse." Kevin grumbled.

"There's nothing you can do about that, especially when you're almost as bad if not worse than I am." he said. Thalia smiled, headache pounding in her skull. Neil banged on the door a few minutes later and the three followed him down the hall.

Once they were at the stadium, coach Wymack sat them all down. "Let's talk about the season," he started. Thalia massaged her temples and wished she had more aspirins.

"Let's not." she said, speaking for everyone in the room except maybe Neil and Renee. The two sober drivers looked tired, but definitely not hungover.

"Thalia, I know you're also directly involved in this, but you still have to be here." Wymack said. "You still have to play, and you absolutely still have to listen to what I have to say." Thalia glared at him.

"Thanks for outing my relationship to the deceased, Wymack." she said. Kevin, Nicky and Neil were the only ones in the room apart from Wymack who knew Thalia had legally been Drake Spear's sister, and since Aaron was missing - rightfully so, Thalia thought, he was probably passed out on Katelyn's couch - the others stared at her with gaping mouths and wide eyes.

"Thalia?" Renee asked. "Is there something you want to say?" Thalia sighed, knowing Renee would get the answer out of her either way, and that the others had a right to know. She stood on shaky legs and looked at the group through slitted eyes. She still wasn't used to the bright lights.

"Yeah, sure," she said. "So I told you I was in foster care, yeah?" the team nodded. "Yeah, well. My last home was the Spears. That's Drake's family." Dan looked sympathetic in understanding, and Matt seemed repulsed by the idea. Allison looked indifferent, as if she didn't really care, which Thalia doubted was far from the truth. Renee, however, furrowed her brows and stood, crossing the room to Thalia. Thalia nodded and Renee engulfed her in a hug.

"We have just enough players to continue the season," Wymack continued when Renee and Thalia sat back down at the opposite sides of the room. "As of this morning, the vote across Class I teams is almost unanimous. They want us to finish the season."

"They what?" Dan choked. "They've never supported us before."

"Who cares, if they're willing to fight the ERC, I'll take it." Matt said.

"Maybe they're mocking us," Allison said. "We've knocked down too many teams in the southeast this year. They want us to play so we fail at last. They want to see us put back in our place. But we'll show them. We've still got Renee, and that's all we need."

"It's not a guarantee," Wymack interrupted. "The ERC still has to agree. I just wanted to let you know there's still a chance for us. That means we have to bring it today like the news is already good, get me?" Wymack didn't wait for any answers. "Go change out and get down to the court. I want one lap for everytime you've said the NCAA doesn't have your back."

"Oh no," Nicky muttered. "We'll be running all day."

"Better get started then." Wymack said. "Move out maggots."

⥎  
⥐

Drake had introduced Thalia to drugs and alcohol, but she was the one experimenting and making the addiction worse. Her favourite were the illegal things - so most substances she could get her hands on - because they were strongest. 

She started playing exy because it was something to do, but Thalia quickly found herself becoming less energized and more exhausted easily, and put it down to her addictions. When the owner of the rec centre she practiced at told her to play well and not throw up on his court, or not come back at all, Thalia changed her ways. 

When Drake brought her something back from wherever he was visiting, she'd thank him - as she was told to - and stash it in her wardrobe. It was becoming full and Thalia didn't know how to dispose of the substances. She couldn't tell him she was getting clean, because he'd hit her, or probably worse. And that was the last thing she wanted.

So instead, Thalia turned to selling it all. She had connections who she usually bought off of, but decided to turn the market around. Thalia sold it back to them, mixed with other things and telling them it was a new thing one of her other suppliers was making. They accepted without question, and Thalia gained more money than she'd ever stolen. 

She was practicing at the rec centre one day when she was interrupted by the owner. "Hey, Sid, I promise I'll pay you for the stick. I've got the money now. I'll buy you a new one instead of just fixing the old one, how about that?"

"By the looks of it, you're the only one who practices here, so it may as well be your stick." That wasn't Sid's voice, and Thalia spun around so quickly she almost threw the ball she was holding at the intruder. 

Standing in front of her was a boy probably a few years older than she was. He had light hair and a prize-winning smile. There were two dimples in his cheeks, and Thalia decided she disliked him. He seemed friendly, but Thalia had learned that appearances could be deceiving. She'd learned that over the past few months.

"What do you want." she demanded. The man laughed and Thalia tensed. 

"I'm Jeremy Knox, and I'm the captain for the USC Trojans exy team." he said. 

"Good for you," Thalia mumbled. She started walking around and collecting the balls from around the court. "But that didn't answer my question. What do you want?"

"I've heard from - Sid, was it? - that you're an amazing player, and ambidextrous." Jeremy said. "I was hoping you'd consider playing for my team when you leave high school. How old are you?"

"Seventeen. And I'm not interested." Thalia said as she started taking off some of her armour. Her gloves and helmet came off first and then some of the more easier pieces. "If I can even afford college - even with a scholarship - I'd want to go into art. Not exy. This is just something I do to pass the time."

"But it could be much more," Jeremy said, smile still in place. He wasn't going to be deterred easily, Thalia realised. So she smiled equally as wide and told him to fuck off before pushing past him and out of the court. She wouldn't let this become anything more. She had art, and she had her side business. That's all Thalia needed in life. Not fame, and definitely not some sunshine of a man named Jeremy Knox.


	41. XL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THAT MAN
> 
> 'I'm in a little bit of trouble  
> And I'm in real deep  
> From the beginning to the end  
> He was no more than a friend to me'

A few days before the Christmas banquet, Kevin knocked on the girl's dorm room door. Allison answered it and called to Thalia in the bedroom. "Your boyfriend's here!" she yelled. Thalia stood and pushed Allison out of the way.

"We're not dating, Allison." Thalia grumbled and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. She could hear Allison's chuckles through the wall. Her face softened and Thalia smiled when she looked at Kevin, who had a small blush forming on his cheeks. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Christmas banquet as my date." he said, looking anywhere but Thalia's face. She smiled wider and forced him to look at her. Kevin's eyes were full of uncertainty, but Thalia leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I'd love to," she said. 

Thalia went shopping with the other girls that afternoon, as they'd already planned to. To Allison's relief and Thalia's discomfort, she picked a dress. It was a dark maroon shade, made of a silk like material and had long sleeves. It fit Neil's need to cover her tattoo, and Thalia's own standards of concealing her scars.

Dan picked a tight black dress with mesh sleeves, Allison chose a short sparkly dress with spaghetti straps, and Renee went with a two piece sequined shirt and shorts. "This is cute," Allison said as she paid for all the dresses. 

⥎  
⥐

It took seven hours to get to Breckenridge, and Thalia slept most of the drive with her head on Kevin's shoulder. He was asleep too, slouched so far down in his seat that Thalia could manage her position. 

When they were awoken, it was to Neil's voice. Thalia opened her eyes and looked around, before nudging Kevin and stirring him gently awake. He stretched and stood up, helping Thalia do the same.

She looked out the window and couldn't see the Ravens bus this time. Thalia took the small flask she'd brought with her and unscrewed the lid. Before she could take a sip, though, Kevin stole it out of her hand and downed the whole thing. She frowned. "Hey, that was for the whole night."

"Coach didn't bring any for me this time, so you must suffer." Kevin said before handing it back and walking away. Thalia rolled her eyes before leaving it on the seat and following the rest of the team off the bus.

When they were off the bus, Wymack locked it and turned to Kevin. He snapped his fingers in front of Kevin's face and made him look at Wymack. "Look at me," he said. Then he pointed to Neil and Matt. "You see these two? If I look in your direction and you're not within five feet of at least one of them, you're not playing a single game this spring. They're your shields. Use them. Use me, if you have to. Now give me a 'Yes coach'."

"Mm,"

"Don't worry," Matt said, always the optimist. "He can't do anything with this many people around."

"You underestimate Riko Moriyama's power," Thalia mumbled and reached for the pack of cigarettes she'd brought. She didn't have time to light one, though, because coach took them out of her hands and put it in his own pocket before turning her around and shoving them all towards the stadium.

"You'll be okay." she said to Kevin as she looped her arm in his. It was clear he was shaking, but as he pried her fingers off his arm, Kevin's hands were as steady as ever. Thalia stopped and looked up at him.

"It would probably be best if you didn't do that tonight," he said with an uncertain scowl on his face. "If Riko finds out about us, there's no telling what he'll do to stop it."

"Okay," Thalia said, then pointed at him. "But remember, you're the one who asked me to be your date tonight. So I'm going to do date like things. I'm used to this sort of thing." Kevin winced at that last part, and Thalia realised she probably shouldn't have added it, but it was said, and she couldn't take it back. 

Luckily, the Foxes were sat away from the Ravens this time, and Thalia ended up next to Kevin, with Neil on his other side. Kevin linked their pinkies under the table and Thalia's lips curved the slightest bit. "I thought we weren't supposed to do that sort of thing." she whispered in French. Kevin didn't reply, making Thalia's smile grow.

When every team had arrived, Tetsuji stood on a makeshift stage in front of a microphone. "This season's rankings have been decided." he began. "The following four teams have been chosen to represent the southeastern district in spring championship games. I will list them in order of ranking, first to fourth. Edgar Allan, Palmetto State, Breckenridge, Belmonte." Thalia grinned, knowing they had come second to the highest ranking team in the district. Next time the Foxes played the Ravens, they would beat them.

⥎  
⥐

When dinner was over, Aaron and Katelyn left the table swiftly, followed by a reluctant Nicky and his date. Allison dragged Renee with her to the floor, and Dan and Matt stuck to the outside of the court where they could watch the remaining Foxes. Thalia hung on to Kevin's arm, not caring about what he'd said before. They weren't necessarily dating, but they'd come together, as had Neil and Renee.

Wymack didn't force the three of them to socialise, so they stayed by the sides of the court, like Matt and Dan were doing. "I want a drink, come on." Thalia said, taking the boys over to the drinks table. Unsurprisingly, there wasn't any alcohol, but Thalia would make do with juice or punch for the night. She turned back around and kept her eye out for Riko the entire time.

He did come, about half an hour later, with Jean in tow. Thalia felt bad for Jean. Kevin hadn't told her much about him, but she knew that the first few days of his stay with them was terrible. Thalia had left the night before he arrived, and Riko had been angry at her disappearance, taking it out on his new 'plaything'. 

Neil stepped between the two groups, and Thalia tried to stop Kevin from shaking. Riko smiled harshly at Neil's act of defensiveness. "Your lack of survival instincts is supremely distressing. Take that look off your face before I carve it off." Thalia couldn't see the face Neil was making at Riko, but figured it was something he found offensive. 

"I would love to see you try," Neil shot back. "You think I'm afraid of your knives? I'm the Butcher's son. It says so on my back." Riko hummed.

"And your sister's." he said. "Yes, I know. The meat cleaver is a very interesting mark. You two have many other marks from your father though, don't you?"

"I'm pretty sure I have a few that aren't from my father," Thalia said, gaining Riko's attention. He smiled wider at her. "They might be from you, do you want to tell me which ones?" She was being sarcastic and rhetorical, but that was only because she was also terrified of Riko, and was trying not to shake and stop Kevin from shaking at the same time.


	42. XLI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ENCHANTED
> 
> 'This night is flawless, don't you let it go  
> I'm wonder struck, dancing around all alone  
> I'll spend forever wondering if you knew  
> I was enchanted to meet you'

"That's three strikes," Riko said and put a finger to his throat. "I'm disappointed in you, Kevin. You promised the master you would take care of this. Obviously you have not, and I am very curious as to why."

"He tried," Neil spoke. "It didn't take."

"Do us all a favour and don't speak again. Your insolence has already cost you two teammates. You cannot even imagine what is coming next." Riko said. Thalia's blood went cold and she left Kevin's side to stand at Neil's.

"What did you do to Andrew," she demanded. Riko's gaze slowly moved from Neil to Thalia. He tilted his head in mock confusion. "You said two teammates. Seth is one. Andrew must be the other." Riko smiled again.

"I told you that you were perceptive and asked many questions." Riko said. He turned back to Neil. "You should be scared. You think you can defy me because I am not your father, but you are forgetting one very important fact. I am the family your father was afraid of. And yes, Nathaniel, he was very afraid."

"Not of you," Thalia spoke. "I may have little to no memories of my childhood, but I've learned things. You're not part of the family he was afraid of. You're just a cast-off." Thalia knew the look on Riko's face meant he wasn't at all happy with what she'd just said, but she didn't regret it. She meant everything she said, especially those sentences.

"Jean," Riko said, looking into Thalia's eyes. "Take Kevin and leave us."

"Go see Matt," Thalia said, not taking her eyes off Riko's. Neil watched them go, but Thalia stared into Riko's cold, dead soul and waited for Neil to turn back to them.

Riko hit the cup out of Neil's hand and grabbed his wrist. His other hand shot out to stop Thalia from moving to aid her teammate. He twisted and Neil choked. Thalia stepped forward, pressing against Riko's hand and showing that she wouldn't hesitate to step up if needed.

"You wouldn't," Thalia said when it was clear Neil was in excruciating pain. "Not in front of all these people." Riko turned his head.

"I do not care if they see. A dog who bites his master's hand deserves to be punished. Slaughtered. The location and audience are inconsequential." Riko retorted. Thalia was full of fear for Neil and the injuries Riko could cause him if his arm were twisted even the slightest bit further, but she kept quiet.

"I am not a dog," Neil said. "I am a Fox."

"You are nothing but what I tell you to be."

"We talked about your delusions."

"I warned you to learn your place." Riko said with such venom in his voice Thalia looked around the room to make sure nobody was paying any attention. Not many people were, and nobody was doing anything about it.

"Let go of me, King."

"I am King," Riko agreed. "And the two of you are going to spend Christmas at my castle. You're coming to Evermore for winter break. Don't push me again. I am the only thing keeping you alive." Thalia scoffed, though the idea of spending two weeks under Riko's control terrified her. She didn't know how she'd lasted three years, but suspected the two weeks of Christmas break would be almost as bad, if not worse.

"No," Neil said. "You're not."

Riko paused, not saying anything for almost a whole minute, then he smiled. "You must be referring to your sister and that goalkeeper. You know which one I mean, I'm sure? The miniature one with the disgusting attitude who thinks he can take my things. And your whore sister who slept around for six months before you pulled her into this mess you created." Riko looked at Thalia then, before letting go of Neil and stepping back.

"Hey are you okay?" she asked Neil, who was clutching his wrist in pain. He swallowed and nodded. "You sure, that looked pretty bad." she whispered in French.

"I'm fine," Neil responded and looked up at Riko.

"Ah, that's right," Riko continued. Thalia looked at him too. "I heard they carted him away. Something about his brother fucking him brainless, yes? How scandalous. How traumatizing." Neil had to hold Thalia back. She was going to punch Riko if he didn't. She was tense all over and clenched and unclenched her fists in case Riko said anything else.

"Don't," Neil warned Riko, who glanced at Thalia's hands and smirked.

"Drake was an interesting man, wasn't he? I should thank the police for leading me straight to him. I might not have discovered him otherwise. Did you know, Nathaniel? Oakland lawyers are some of the cheapest to buy off. It only took three phone calls to arrange the whole thing."

"You set him up," Thalia hissed, furious at what Riko had done.

"That isn't even the best part," he smiled, looking at Thalia and taking half a step closer. Thalia thought that was quite risky of him, considering it was clear how on edge she was right now, but he did it anyway. "Did you know I've bought one of the doctors at Easthaven, too? Unless you want these little therapy sessions of his to turn into therapeutic reenactments, you will be on a plane to West Virginia tomorrow morning. Jean will give your tickets to Kevin. Do you understand me?"

Thalia didn't hear anything after that. She didn't feel anything. Thalia was numb for a few seconds, then Neil brought back his fist and punched Riko. She blinked and turned. On the way out of the hall, her heartbeat thumping in her ears, Thalia took off her heels and threw them to the side. She was half aware of Kevin calling her name.

Once outside, Thalia headed for the parking lot where the busses were. She found one closest to the exit and took a bobby pin out of her hair. Thalia used it to jiggle the lock in the bus door and had it open within a few minutes. Kevin wasn't far behind her, but Thalia was already in the bus by the time he'd caught up to her.

"Thalia, what are you doing?" he asked, slightly out of breath. She sat in the driver's seat and let Kevin climb inside the bus. "What did Riko say?"

"Did Jean give you the tickets?" she asked, focusing on starting the engine. He stuttered for a few moments and when Thalia finally had the engine sputtering to life, she turned to Kevin. "Did Jean give you the tickets?"

"Yes," he said. "Where did you learn how to do that?" Kevin asked. "Where are you going?"

"Are you coming with me or not, Kevin?" Thalia asked harshly. "Because if not, get off the fucking bus. I'm going to save Andrew, because Riko bought one of the doctor's and he or she will hurt him if Neil and I don't go to Castle Evermore tomorrow."

"Thalia, you should know Riko bluffs about almost everything." Kevin tried to reason. "And even if he's not lying about this, there's no way they'll let you in. There's nothing you can do." Thalia knew he was right, but she didn't want to believe it. Andrew would beat the shit out of anyone who tried to touch him. Thalia knew this. But she still wanted to be there. To protect him. Like she couldn't have done when Drake attacked him at Nicky's parents house.

"I'm sorry," Thalia said in a small voice that didn't sound like her own. Kevin carefully came closer to her and she let him hug her close to his chest. Thalia shut her eyes and Kevin put his hand on the other side of her head, rubbing his thumb against her cheek and calming her down.

"You don't need to be," he whispered back. They sat there for a few minutes until Thalia sniffed and sat back up. She wiped her eyes and stood. Kevin was much taller than she was, especially without her heels on.

"At least I was wearing waterproof makeup, right?" she joked, smiling lopsidedly, but knowing the comment fell short. Kevin gave a tight-lipped smile to try and make Thalia feel better. It did.

"Come on," he said, holding his hand out for her. Thalia took it, lacing her fingers carefully with Kevin's. "I'll give you something to drink when we get back."


	43. XLII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE LESS I KNOW THE BETTER
> 
> 'Oh my love, can't you see yourself by my side  
> No surprise when you're on his shoulder like every night  
> Oh my love, can't you see that you're on my mind  
> Don't suppose we could convince your lover to change his mind  
> So goodbye'

It hadn't even been a question for Thalia, but Neil had asked if she wanted to go, anyway. She'd spoken to Kevin, and he didn't want her to go. He was convinced she wouldn't survive another stay at Evermore, considering Thalia had left before, and Riko had let all his anger out on Kevin and Jean.

"Kevin, if there's a chance I can protect Andrew from whatever might happen to him at Easthaven, I have to go." she said, though she was pretty drunk and was pointing to Kevin with a bottle of half empty vodka in her hand.

"Just stick to the original plans for the holiday, Thalia - we're going to Matt's house." Kevin said. Thalia frowned and shook her head, but in the end, Kevin was, surprisingly, the lesser drunk of the two, and had made the decision.

"Neil, I'm going." she said the next morning. Thalia had made the excuse that she needed to ask Matt for some aspirins, and had snuck into the dorm out of sight from Kevin. "I'll go to the gate with the others, and then leave at the last second. The flights are at the same time, so it shouldn't be too hard. As long as I leave it late enough, Kevin should be fine. He won't suspect a thing."

Neil had been skeptical of her plan, but had agreed, nonetheless.

Once at the airport, Thalia and Neil split ways, and Thalia had a sinking feeling in her stomach, like the plan wasn't going to work at all. But it did.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," Kevin said, holding Thalia's hand while she forced it to stop shaking. She smiled up at Kevin, and he looked down at her with the ghost of one. It was clear he hadn't gotten any sleep last night, and Thalia suddenly felt guilty. He'd likely hate her for what she was going to do, but Thalia felt like she had no choice. She had to help Andrew, and if it was the cost of her own happiness, Thalia was willing to give that up.

They were waiting at the gate and Thalia told the others she was going to the bathroom. She picked up her duffel bag, which carried everything she was taking with her, and kissed Kevin on the cheek. "Why are you taking that?" he asked, grabbing her arm with a frown on his face.

"Girl stuff, Kevin," Thalia replied in French. A small blush appeared on his cheeks and Thaila smiled. "I'll be back, don't worry." she said then looked around at the group. Matt, Aaron, Kevin and Nicky had no idea that she was leaving for two weeks, and had no intention of returning unharmed.

Thalia turned and started walking, then jogging, then a full out sprint when Kevin called her name. But Thalia was fast, and she was determined. She made it across the airport to her gate before Kevin caught up to her and gave her ticket to the lady, running down the connector and hiding behind one of the corners as she listened to Kevin's screams for her to come back.

"Thalia!" he said. It was clear he was about to cry. "Don't do this!" She shut her eyes and stood. Thalia took a shaky breath in and walked onto the plane. She quickly saw Neil and sat down next to him, her eyes on the verge of giving way to tears.

"It's okay," he said. "You did the right thing."

"You didn't hear him crying for me not to," she whispered. Neither of them said anything else.

⥎  
⥐

"You shouldn't have come," Jean said when they approached him. Thalia pushed past him and kept walking, refusing to look back.

The ride was silent between the three. Neil sat in the passenger seat and Thalia watched the world go by on the streets, wondering how normal these people's lives must be. They didn't have to worry about being caught and killed by a mobster father, or being tortured by a person almost the same age as you. They didn't have to worry about keeping secrets, or clinging to barely there memories.

"This isn't a team," Neil said once they were out of the car and looking around the carpark. "It's a cult."

"Take a look at the sky," Jean said, looking between the two. "You won't see it again until you leave."

"I've seen it," Neil said, but Thalia looked up for a few seconds, took a deep breath and followed Neil into the building, knowing she wouldn't emerge from it again the same as she was now.

⥎  
⥐

"Get up," a voice said. Neil blinked and opened his eyes. He looked up and saw Jean's face. The other boy was looking unhappy and tired. Neil didn't remember falling asleep, but he tried to push himself up and look around. Everything hurt. He couldn't sit, but he skirted his eyes around the room. He was in an airport. Upstate Regional Airport, to be exact. So why was Jean Moreau with him?

"Where's my sister?" he asked. His voice didn't sound like his, but Neil remembered all the screaming he'd done the past two - three? - weeks and figured that was the cause of his hoarse voice.

"You don't remember?" Was all Jean said. He shook his head and helped Neil up from his chair. That's when it hit him. Why Thalia wasn't there. He collapsed back into his chair and Jean huffed. "I need you to help me help you, idiot." He reached for Neil again, but Neil couldn't hear anything he was saying.

Thalia had made a deal. A deal with Riko. Neil had said that was the equivalent of making a deal with the devil. But she'd done it anyway. And now Neil was back in South Carolina, but instead of being with his sister, he was with Jean. They were separated again. This time, for good.


	44. XLIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BURY ME FACE DOWN
> 
> 'When I go into the ground  
> I won't go quietly, I'm bringing my crown  
> When I go into the ground  
> Oh, they gotta bury me, bury me face down'

Wymack was confused and more than slightly unhappy at the sight of Jean with Neil, though he was assured that it was okay, and that Neil would explain it when they got back. He didn't know how he was going to tell the rest of the team - especially Kevin - how his sister - who they didn't know was his sister - had traded places with Jean Moreau and made sure neither he nor Neil had to ever go back to the nest.

That was pushed from his mind for the first three days being back, however, as he spent most of his time trying not to fall asleep as he got used to the different sleep schedule, and making sure Jean didn't try to run away.

It was a full time job, looking after Jean, and Wymack mostly kept him at Abby's house, who had been explained some of the situation, just like the coach had. 

The words 'a debt for a debt' ran through Neil's head every time he thought about what Thalia had done. He'd told Wymack that she'd traded places with Jean, and that's all he and Abby knew, but the secret of what had really happened at Castle Evermore was stuck in Neil's mind, plaguing him forever.

When Wymack let Neil back into the dorms the morning the others were due to return, Neil took Jean and shoved him in the bedroom. Neil was unbelievable sore, and extremely tired, but the three days he'd had to relax and recover had done him some good. He shoved a finger in Jean's face, despite the other boy being taller than him.

"My sister did not give up her freedom for you to have yours, just so you could try and run back to Riko the rat bastard reject." Neil spat. "You will stay in here - we are six stories up, there is nowhere for you to go - until I return. I figure you don't want to face Kevin yet, and Andrew would be even worse. There aren't enough seats in his car for you anyway." Jean looked above Neil's head at the door, and Neil clicked his fingers to get his attention again.

"I'm going to tell Matt that you are in here, and he will stop you if you try to leave. The window is bolted shut and like I said, we're six stories up." Neil said. "But you are under my protection now, and I will not hesitate to switch you back if you try to run again. Do you understand?" Jean was silent. "I said do you understand?!" Neil yelled. He nodded and Neil relaxed slightly. "Good. Now, they'll be back any minute, so stay here, and stay silent."

Neil left the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Just as he stepped into the living room, Matt opened the door and walked in. When he saw Neil, his face went white. "Neil," 

"I'm fine, Matt," Neil said, avoiding his eyes. "Sit, I need to tell you something." Matt furrowed his eyebrows but closed the door and made his way across the room.

"I'm going to kill him," Matt said "If he comes within a hundred feet of you,"

"He has to. We're playing him again at finals." Neil interrupted, not really wanting to talk about himself. "This is about Thalia, though. Not Riko." That time, Matt stood and looked more feral than Neil had ever seen him. It was clear almost the whole team had come to love and protect Thalia, despite the way she'd yelled at them near the beginning of her joining the team. They understood what she'd been talking about. What she'd meant.

"She went with me to Evermore, and stayed behind." Matt looked surprised and frightened. "Thalia switched places with Jean, and he's here." then he looked to the bedroom door and tightened his jaw. "It was her choice, Matt. You can't change these things."

"Why are you telling me this now?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the door.

"Because Jean's been trying to escape the past three days. I need you to watch him while I go with the others to get Andrew." Neil said. Matt looked at him. 

"Kevin was worried sick throughout the whole break." Matt said. "He had no fun, no matter how much Nicky and me tried to cheer him up. He watched Thalia run off and get on the plane with you. I didn't know why he was so torn up about it." he looked Neil up and down, from the newly dyed hair to his electric blue eyes, to the scars and bandages littering his face and hands. "Now I know why."

'Matt, please just watch him," Neil said, sounding more tired than he had in a while. Matt's jaw tensed and untensed a few times before he nodded. "Thank you. I'll be back later. You don't need to go in there, don't need to interact with him. Just make sure he doesn't escape."

"Fine." Matt said. As Neil headed for the door, he stopped when Matt spoke again. "Coach called and told us not to ask about your face." he said. "But I want you to know that you can talk about it if you want to."

⥎  
⥐

As soon as Neil stepped out into the hallway, Kevin pushed him against the wall. It hurt, but Neil didn't bother struggling to get out of his grip.

"Kevin!" Nicky said, moving forward to pry him off Neil. "Get off him!"

"Nicky, stay out of it," Neil hissed in German. Nicky's eyes looked hurt and sad when he saw Neil's face, but he stepped back, nonetheless.

"Where is she," Kevin asked in French. Neil could see the bags under his eyes, showing that what Matt had told him just before was true. "Where is she, Nathaniel."

"I told you not to call me that," Neil responded, and then paused. "She's still at Evermore. Made a deal with Riko."

"Why would she do that," 

"Get off me and I'll tell you." Neil was beginning to find it difficult to breathe, and Kevin saw this. He let go, and Neil rubbed his neck. "Thanks."

"Why." Kevin said slowly and Neil stood tall, looking at him.

"Riko said that either one or both of us had to return at the beginning of the next season, and Thalia negotiated with him," Neil said, ignoring Nicky and Aaron's presences. "She said that if she stayed now, that I wouldn't have to back ever." it was mostly the truth. Neil had just left out the fact that she'd said Neil and Jean would never have to go back, not just Neil.

"She wouldn't," Kevin said quietly. Neil felt sorry for him. It was clear he had feelings for Thalia, and Neil was okay with that. He trusted Kevin. "She won't survive. Not after she left him before."

"She'll be okay," Neil said, though it was to reassure himself as well. "She can handle herself. She can handle it." Kevin looked up at Neil with red eyes and shook his head.

"No," he said. "She can't."


	45. XLIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I MISS HAVING SEX BUT AT LEAST I DON'T WANNA DIE
> 
> 'My hobbies include  
> Pushing away these girls that maybe really like me  
> Cutting people off because I don't trust exciting  
> But what the fuck have I done?'

When the girls got back the next day, Neil called an informal meeting at the stadium. Kevin knew part of what they were about to be told, and had said he didn't need to go. Andrew, newly sober, hadn't said anything, but Neil knew he would do whatever Kevin agreed to. 

"There's things I didn't tell you, too," Neil said. "Other things you need to know." Jean had gone back to Abby's to sleep last night, and she was watching over him today, so that Neil could tell the rest of the team without them demanding to see him. Kevin would probably beat Jean up. Neil didn't know the ins and outs of their friendship, but figured there was some sort of tension between the two, considering the way they'd acted whenever Neil had seen them together. 

"Ok, so," Neil started. He was standing in front of the team, all of them - bar Andrew and Aaron - looked worried at Neil's appearance. It made him uncomfortable, but he continued. "By now, you all know Thalia and I spent the holidays at Castle Evermore. Well she stayed. She swapped places with someone." Neil glanced at Kevin, who looked stiff. Kevin looked up from the ground and stared straight at Neil. "With Jean."

In an instant, Kevin was standing and making his way across the room. Wymack, who'd been standing to the side with his arms folded, stepped in an held Kevin back from punching Neil. "How could you!" he yelled. "How could you let her go back there!" he said in French.

"I told you yesterday, Kevin," Neil said with a tone he could only hope sounded even. "It was her decision. She said it was a debt for a debt."

"Bullshit," Allison said, drawing the attention back to the rest of the group. "Thalia wouldn't do that. Did Riko dye her hair too?" Neil went white. He didn't know. Didn't remember. Like most other things about his stay at Castle Evermore, the fact that Riko could have brought back Thalia's true identity, just like he'd done with Neil's, made him sick to the stomach.

"I don't know," then Neil turned to Kevin, who had started calming down, but had tears in his eyes. "If he did," he said in French, and then Neil shook his head. "He might make her play at Nathalia Wesninski. That wouldn't be good."

"He wouldn't," Kevin said, face paling. "That would force the Moriyamas into explaining her disappearance, and make them tell the press why she isn't dead. He may have changed her appearance, but Riko wouldn't make her play as Nathalia."

"So where's the French bastard?" Aaron said, startling Neil. He hadn't expected either of the twins to say anything. "Is he here? You said Thalia switched with him. What does that mean for us?"

"He's at Abby's," Wymack said. "She's making sure he doesn't leave. He's been a real handful lately."

"I almost broke his leg the other day to stop him running." Neil said, making Kevin's eyes go wide and some of the others look concerned. 

"Okay," Dan said slowly, getting the conversation back on track. "So what now? Will Jean play for us as a replacement for Thalia? Because without her we're only just meeting the regulation number of players." Kevin shook his head as he made his way back to his seat.

"Jean would never play for the Foxes willingly." he said. "But we can stop him from running. I know how." he added when Dan went to speak. The captain nodded and Neil sighed.

"I told her not to stay. I tried to make her see there was no point. It wouldn't be good." Neil said. "But she insisted. She told me there was no other way. A debt for a debt, she said. I'm sorry, guys."

"Don't you be sorry," Nicky said, brows creased and a fierce look in his eyes. "Riko will pay for taking her from us, and then we'll get her back."

⥎  
⥐ 

Neil hadn't gone with Andrew and Kevin to see Jean at Abby's, and he'd trusted the two not to hurt him too much. Instead, he followed Matt into their dorm room and headed straight to his bedroom.

Despite being home for a few days, Neil hadn't really had the energy or time to unpack his things. So now he took the time to put his things back in his drawer. Kevin had given him back the folder Neil had made him take to New York with him over the holidays, and Neil put that in his safe.

A piece of paper fell out of one of Neil's folded shirts. He frowned and picked it up. Neil unfolded it and recognised Thalia's messy scrawl immediately. It was in French, and Neil skimmed over it a few times before frowning. He shoved the paper into his pocket and finished his unpacking with a single thought going through his mind - how?

After he was done, Neil left the room and told Matt, who was sitting on the sofa watching a movie, that he was going to Abby's. "Okay, just be careful," Matt said, and Neil hummed as he grabbed his keys and headed out of the door.

⥎  
⥐ 

Neil,

I hope you find this and don't just discard it as a spare piece of paper. That would be pretty embarrassing. Anyway. I know that the others won't be happy with my choice, especially Kevin, but it was the right thing to do, even if he can't see it.  
Despite popular belief, I do think about things before I act. For instance, I've written down the phone number of Jeremy Knox at the bottom of this page. I know there's no way Jean will play for the Foxes, mostly because they've been such a low ranking team in the past few years and probably wouldn't be able to handle the embarrassment if you failed.  
About three months ago Jeremy came to me when I was practicing in a community centre. I turned down his offer of joining the Trojans, but he was persistent and put his business card in my things before he left. I don't know why I kept it. Maybe I knew I'd need it someday.   
Call Jeremy and tell him that Jean is looking for a new team to play on, and that the Trojans would be a perfect fit for him. If Jean says no, tell him it's either that or never play again, because it's probably the truth.  
I'm not sorry about what I'm doing, and I hope that in time, you and Kevin can understand my decision. However, I am sorry that I never got to spend more time with you. To make new memories to make up for the ones I can't remember. Hopefully we'll be brought back together someday. You haven't even left and I already miss you. 

Your forgetful and not-sorry sister,  
Thalia Josten


	46. XLV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LEVEL OF CONCERN
> 
> 'Cause I told you my level of concern  
> But you walked by like you never heard  
> And you could bring down my level of concern  
> Just need you to tell me we're alright, tell me we're okay'

"Get up," Riko's hoarse voice hissed. Thalia took off her helmet and threw it to the side. She took out her mouthguard and spat to the side. Unsurprisingly, red blood appeared on the wooden court floors. A hand grabbed her jersey and hoisted her up. Riko's face was fierce and unforgiving, and Thalia wanted to spit in it, but knew that would get her yet another beating. Harder than the one she'd received that morning.

"I said," Riko said, this time in Japanese. Thalia's understanding of the language was limited to the three years she'd spent learning it as a child, but she knew enough of it to understand Riko wasn't happy. "get up. Are you deaf? That would be a real shame."

"Not deaf," Thalia shot back, trying to keep the blood in her mouth from spilling out. "Just selective hearing." her defiance was enough for Riko to shove her back to the ground. Thalia crippled under the force of the shove, but she quickly got back up again. The rest of the Ravens smartly kept quiet.

Thalia walked over to her helmet and picked it up. She was falling back into routines she hadn't felt the need to keep up since before she joined the Foxes and became comfortable with them. She put her guard back in and her helmet back on and walked back to position. A teammate handed her racquet to her and she mumbled a thanks.

"Training you to be dealer again is hard enough," Riko said, in Japanese again. Thalia had learned that he and Thalia were the only ones in the team who knew the language, just like she and Riko were the only ones with numbers tattooed on their faces. The four felt heavy on Thalia's cheek, just like the cleaver on her back. "I don't need your incompetence to go along with it."

Thalia didn't say anything else, but knew there would be consequences for her previous actions, no matter how insignificant they'd been.

⥎  
⥐

"I don't want to play for the Trojans," Jean said. Neil sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd tried explaining the situation to him three times already, and Kevin wasn't helping.

"I thought I'd made it clear that it was either the Trojans, the Foxes, or nothing." Neil snapped. "So, let me tell you this one more time; I am going to call Jeremy Knox, he is going to send us a contract, and you are going to sign it." He looked up at Jean, who stood taller than Neil with his arms crossed and the three on his cheek that Neil now had the matching five of.

"Fine." Jean eventually said, then stormed off and went back to his room. Abby had sealed the window shut so he couldn't leave, and Andrew was currently standing right outside it to make sure he didn't try and run out the front door.

"Call him." he said. Neil nodded and pulled out the note Thalia had left him. He looked at the number under her name and put it into Kevin's phone - Neil's wasn't charged - and began the wait for Jeremy to pick up.

While he waited, Neil wondered why Thalia had signed her name with Neil's surname. It wasn't technically his. He'd created it out of pure unimagination, and hadn't ever thought that he'd keep it. The next time he ran, he would have changed it, but now there was no way he could run. There was nowhere to hide. He didn't want to leave, either. He was a Fox, and he wasn't going to run anymore.

The fact that Thalia, who'd had a hard time accepting Neil as her brother, had signed a letter with the fake surname he'd been using had made Neil feel sick and warm at the same time. He was glad she was coming to terms with it, but felt extremely bad for leaving her behind at Castle Evermore.

The phone picked up and Neil blinked to focus again. "Hello?" a cheery voice said on the other side of the line. "This is Jeremy Knox, what can I do for you?"

"Hi Jeremy," Neil started, looking at Kevin. "This is Neil Josten. I was wondering if you'd like to talk about a potential player?" Jeremy seemed to perk up, if that was even possible. Neil hadn't watched many Trojans games, but knew they were the best sportsmanship players he'd ever seen. They never got in fights, and had won some sort of award a few years in a row.

"Oh, that would be wonderful," Jeremy said. "Who are you thinking? Are you thinking of transferring to our team next season? Because I'd have to talk about that with Coach Rheman."

"Actually, I was calling to talk about Jean Moreau," that left Jeremy stumped for a moment, and when he spoke again, he was questioning.

"Jean Moreau? As in, Number Three, Backliner for the Edgar Allan Ravens?" he asked.

"That's the one." Neil said. "Look, Jeremy. There are some things going on at the moment that aren't really your concern, but it would be a huge help if you could talk to Coach Rheman about taking Jean on next season."

"Of course I'll talk to him about it," Jeremy said, still slightly unsure. "But I can't guarantee anything."

"Thanks. And by the way, this isn't my phone." Neil said. "It's Kevin Day's. Just in case you were going to save the contact under 'Neil Josten'. Don't." then he hung up. Neil wasn't used to long phone calls or conversations, though he did realise that it probably seemed a little rude. He didn't have time to think about it, though, and handed the phone back to Kevin, thanked him, and left the house. He ran until he couldn't feel his legs and almost passed out due to pain and exhaustion. He probably pulled a stitch, but he would deal with that later.


	47. XLVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOOD IN BED
> 
> 'Yeah, let's get to the point here  
> You love to disappoint me, don't ya?  
> You tell me what I want, but ain't no follow through'

One of the only good things about the Ravens' Nest was that Thalia had her own room. It seemed insignificant in the long run, but that short amount of time alone gave her time to think. She knew she was being watched - the cameras in the corners of the ceiling weren't inconspicuous.

There weren't any art supplies in the building, and Thalia knew asking would get her a slap to the face at the very least. So instead she used her little free time honing her pencil skills. They were terrible, but having memory stained drawings of her old teammates staring down at her from her wall made Thalia comfortable enough to relax as she slept.

The first thing she'd done upon being given her own room was shove the bed up against the wall farthest from the door. Riko was the only other 'Black Hall' resident, and it didn't make Thalia feel any safer. She somehow wished she were with the other Ravens in Red Hall.

Every morning at five thirty, Thalia would be woken by an alarm she couldn't change, even if she wanted to. Which she so desperately did. Then she'd have a shower and get dressed, and open her door after praying Riko wasn't standing there waiting for her. He always was.

They'd walk in silence to the dining hall, and then have breakfast, apart from all the others. Still, there was silence. 

After breakfast, Thalia would be escorted back to her room by, unsurprisingly, Riko. She'd collect her books and then walk to class, where Riko would leave her. Classes were two hours each, and the Ravens had all the same classes in small groups. Thalia was just grateful Riko wasn't in any of hers.

After classes, Riko would pick her up again and take her either to the changing rooms, where they'd split ways and change out for practice, or to the gym, where they'd all do other types of training.

Thalia had picked up very quickly that everyone was silent in Riko's presence, and the only time anyone talked was when they were spoken to by him. It was as if they really believed he was a king. What Neil had said the moment they'd arrived at the building was almost right - 'This isn't a team. This is a cult.'

⥎  
⥐

"Repeat after me," Thalia's mother said. Then she slowly said a French word, and Thalia and a black, long haired, Neil repeated back to her. They were about thirteen or fourteen, and Thalia couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. "What's wrong, Freya?" her mother asked. Thalia pushed a lock of hair behind her ears.

"Nothing, mother," she said. "I just need to go to the bathroom, is all." she got a hum in return, and then a quick jerk of the head towards where Thalia knew the bathroom was. "Thank you, mother."

On her way back to the room, Thalia paused at the sound of her mother's voice. "Your sister is not strong enough," she hissed in low English. Neil looked confused. "I told you we should have left her behind. She would have been better off there. Her life would have been tough, but not as tough as this life."

"Mother, how can you say that?" Neil asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. Their mother hushed him. "She's your daughter. They were treating her badly there, and you know it."

"Yes, but she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her life running from those very people."

"Mother?" Thalia said uncertainly, making her presence known. Her mother whipped around. "Is that really what you think of me? You don't think I'm strong enough?"

"Darling," she said, reaching her hands out for Thalia to walk into a hug. She stayed where she was. "Freya, you know that your life before was difficult. Your father was a terrible person. And it is clear to me by the way you were scarred that the Moriyamas were not any kinder to you. And yes, this life that we have now is difficult, but no. I do not think you are strong enough. For any of it."

Thalia frowned. She didn't say anything, and instead nodded, knowing it was what her mother wanted from her. She took her place back at Neil's side and looked up at her mother, willing the tears in her eyes not to spill over. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she wasn't strong enough. 

That night, when she was in the bathroom preparing for bed, Thalia looked at the knives her mother insisted they kept in their small duffel bags at all times. In case of emergencies, she'd said. "This is an emergency," Thalia whispered to herself as she reached for one and picked it up. She admired the blade. "I'm not strong enough," she said, pressing the tip against the skin of her thigh. "I'm broken." she pressed hard enough to burst the skin and make the first tear drop out of her eyes. "Worthless." dragging it across her skin. "Nothing." repeating the process and the words made each time easier.

Thalia didn't cut deep enough to cause too much damage, but she knew one of the cuts would scar over. That was alright, so long as it was a single one.

She used toilet paper and wet it, pressing it against the wounds she'd created. The blood soaked through, so Thalia had to do it with a significant amount of tissue to stop the bleeding. Then she got a single bandaid and placed it over the cuts to stop infection. Her mother had always tended to Neil and Thalia's wounds, but from then on, Thalia decided to do it herself. She wouldn't let a woman who thought her own daughter useless tend to the wounds of the one considered useless.


	48. XLVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE KIDS ARE DEPRESSED
> 
> 'How long have you been smiling?  
> It seems like it's been too long  
> Some days I don't feel like trying  
> So what the fuck are you on'

"Nathalia," a harsh voice said. She woke and immediately tensed. What would he be calling her for this early in the morning? "Nathalia get up. You're leaving today." Nathalia stood and waited for the footsteps to head down the hall before walking over to her wardrobe and pulling out an appropriate outfit for the day's work. She picked up the two suitcases she'd be taking with her, and walked down the hall with them to the kitchen.

"Good, you're here." her father said. Nathalia was a splitting image of her father, with dark, auburn hair and electric blue eyes. He was wearing a suit that accentuated his charming features, and a tie that matched his eyes. Nathalia was scared half to death by him, but knew if she disobeyed his orders in any way that she would be severely punished. She'd seen it happen with her brother - he'd taken a hot iron to the shoulder once, and his skin had peeled off on the metal. She'd thrown up in the toilet five minutes later.

"Get in the car. I will be there in five minutes." Nathan said. He turned to walk away, but spun around to add something else to his comment. "And Lola's coming with us, too." He smiled widely and horrifyingly. It was a trait Nathalia was lucky enough not to have inherited, though her brother had. She hadn't seen Nathaniel in three days, and Nathalia's father hadn't been happy, especially considering her mother was missing too.

"Ah, hello Princess," Lola drawled. It was almost as if she worshipped Nathan so much that she attempted to be like him. It was clear to Nathalia by the way she had that smile. Well, an attempted version of it. It just made Lola seem odd, where it made Nathalia's father scary.

Nathalia didn't say anything as she put her suitcases in the boot of the car and got in the backseat. She put her seatbelt on and kept her head down, as she always did when travelling with her father. It wasn't a good idea to make him mad, so Nathalia kept quiet around him, except when she was asked to say something.

When Nathan finally arrived, he sat in the driver's seat and looked back at Nathalia with that smile. "We're going to your new family."

⥎  
⥐ 

"I thought I told you I didn't want to talk." Thalia said. She was at her desk, drawing a picture of Kevin. Her door had opened and she'd tensed, knowing the only person who'd want to talk to her like this was Riko. He could be unpredictable and mean, and Thalia knew he was planning something when the door shut behind him again.

"Sorry," Riko said. "Selective hearing." Thalia stared at the wall in front of her, not wanting to give Riko the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to her.

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes, actually. There is." Riko said. "I have a question for you. And in response for your cooperation, I will leave you alone for the rest of your free period." Thalia turned in her chair. Riko was sitting on her bed and watching her every move. "Why did you stay?"

"Are you serious?" Riko just stared. "Because I didn't want my brother and Jean to live under your scrutiny for any longer. You have no control over them. You have no right to call yourself the Son of Exy. That place is reserved for Kevin Day."

"Is that so?" Riko asked.

"Yes. You're more like some sort of distant relative of the sport. Kevin's mother created it along with your uncle. You're a nephew of exy. Not a son." Thalia said. She knew RIko wasn't impressed by her answer by the way his smile turned into an even icier look, and his eyes were burning holes in her head.

"Well," he said, standing up. "At least I know how you feel about me now. Though those didn't always be your opinions on me." Riko didn't move towards the door, just stayed where he was. Thalia didn't like the imbalance, and stood, too. They were the same height, and the distance between the two of them hardly made her feel better. "But I am a man of my word, and I will leave you."

Riko gave Thalia one more look before turning and slamming her door shut behind him. She let out a sigh of relief and relaxed ever so slightly. She'd never be free of Riko again. Though Thalia had thought she'd never be free of Drake, either, and now he was dead. Who was to say the same thing wouldn't happen to Riko?

⥎  
⥐ 

"Nathalia?" a voice called. She looked up and saw Riko and Kevin standing side by side, as they always did. Kevin was the one who'd called to her and she smiled at the two boys. Though she didn't dare leave her father's side until he put his hand on her back and pushed, telling her to go.

Nathalia walked slowly to the boys and held out her hand, knowing that in the presence of her father and Riko's uncle, this was the best way to act. Each of them took it and gave a firm shake, and Riko smiled brightly, while Kevin looked slightly unsure. 

"Boys, take Nathalia to her room." Tetsuji said. Riko nodded politely to his uncle and led the way. There were two halls, Kevin explained. Red Hall, and Black Hall. The three of them stayed in Black Hall, and nobody else. Nathalia wanted to say that it was stupid, but knew she shouldn't, so she didn't. Riko opened the door to her bedroom, and Nathalia placed her things down by her bed.

"We'll leave you to unpack," Kevin said and bowed his head before he and Riko left, leaving the door open. She looked around - the room was large, and mostly black, but Nathalia didn't mind. She'd fill the walls with paintings and the bookshelves with novels she found interesting. She'd make this place feel more like home than Baltimore ever had, and she already thought of Riko and Kevin as brothers, despite the recent loss of her own. 

She hadn't been told why her mother and brother had disappeared, but knew her father wasn't happy about it. Nathalia sighed, not wanting to think about it for now, and collapsed on her bed, smiling into the void. Her life would be good from now on. She'd be happy here. She just needed to make herself believe it.


	49. XLVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POMPEII
> 
> 'I was left to my own devices  
> Many days fell away with nothing to show  
> And the walls kept tumbling down  
> In the city that we love  
> Grey clouds roll over the hills  
> Bringing darkness from above'

A few days before the season started again Coach Rheman and Jeremy travelled from California to South Carolina to speak with Jean about the finalities of his contract. That afternoon, Jean left with them. He wouldn't play with the Trojans until next season, but staying there and getting used to the entirely new environment that he probably hadn't experienced since his life back in Marseille would be good for Jean. He needed time to adjust, and Neil figured Jeremy 'Sunshine in a human form' Knox would be much different to what Jean was used to.

Neil didn't meet Jeremy or Rheman, but Kevin insisted he be there. "It's because he's in love with Knox," Nicky told Neil, though he knew it was a joke. It was blatantly obvious to Neil that Kevin loved the Trojans, though he claimed it was because they were such good players, and Neil didn't doubt that. The Trojans swapped places with another of the 'Big Three' every year for second and third place.

They were flying to Austin for their first game of the season, and Neil couldn't help but notice Andrew hadn't moved when Wymack said they had time to spare. He made his way over to him and saw that Andrew was watching the planes on the runway.

"When you said you were afraid of heights, you were joking, right?" Neil asked, nervous that Andrew would throw up on the plane. "You can't be, what were you doing on the roof?"

"Feeling."

"Trying to remember fear, or trying to remember anything at all?" 

"What was his name?" Andrew asked, taking his finger of his fast pulse. Neil stopped dead in his tracks, the words he was about to speak catching in his throat. "Your father. What was his name?"

Neil didn't want to answer. Didn't want that foul name between them. But it was Andrew's turn in their secrets game, and Neil stepped closer after making sure no other Foxes were in earshot.

"Nathan. His name was Nathan."

"You don't look like a Nathan."

"I'm not." Neil said. "I'm Nathaniel. And Thalia isn't Thalia." he added, figuring he could trust Andrew with the information. Andrew glanced at him with an odd, passive look. "She's Nathalia."

"She's your sister?" he asked. Neil nodded. Andrew didn't say anything else, and Neil backed away, heading towards Nicky's beckoning. It was out there, and he couldn't take back what he'd said. If Andrew did his research, he could find out who both Neil and Thalia really were, but Neil doubted he would. 

⥎  
⥐ 

"We're not supposed to smoke," Thalia looked to her left, where a boy stood, unsure and looking anywhere but her face. "It compromises our ability to play."

Thalia tensed, recognising the voice. "Come here, Roberts." she said. He didn't move for a moment before moving closer, into the light. Thalia wasn't on very good terms with any of the Ravens, but Dean Roberts was probably the closest thing to a friend Thalia could say she had in the Nest. 

She held out her cigarette to him, and he refused. She pushed it into his hands. "Go on," Thalia said, motioning for him to take a drag. Roberts looked at her before putting the cigarette to his lips and sucking in. He sputtered afterwards and Thalia took the stick back with a hoarse laugh. 

"I've been smoking longer than I've been playing, Dean. I know my limits." she said. "Besides, I haven't had a cancer stick in weeks. Since before I came to this hellhole of a place." Roberts laughed. "Tell me about you, Roberts." He looked confused. Thalia sighed and took another drag before gesturing her question and repeating it. "What's your family like? Do you have siblings, friends? Where are you from?"

"Well, I have a sister." he said. Thalia hummed. "She's sixteen. And my best friend and boyfriend are here - Gracie and Dan." she hummed again and stomped out the cigarette under her shoe. "My parents never really spent time with me. My dad's a professor at Yale and my mom is always away on business trips." he put quotation marks around the 'business trips' and then sighed. "I can guess how those go."

"Can I give you some advice?" Thalia asked. Roberts nodded. "Well, first of all, do you want to paly exy professionally? You must do, right? or you wouldn't have gotten into the Ravens. They wouldn't have let you. So, my advice to you is this; don't waste your time on something you don't really care about in the long run. Sure, you may always love exy, but once you retire, that's it. You won't have anything to fall back on."

"What's your plan B, then?" he asked, taking in the information she'd just given him. Thalia sighed and leaned her head on the cold wall behind her. 

"Art. Painting. I want to open a gallery when I retire - if I ever get to that age." she said and rolled her head to look at Dean. He was a lot taller than she was, but it wasn't intimidating. "I want to show the people my art. Whether or not they want to see it and read the stories it portrays is up to them, but even if there's only one other person who ever looks at my work, that would satisfy me."

She sat down on the grass and Dean followed her. "Do you know any constellations, Roberts?" he said yes and pointed them out in the sky. He only knew a few, the most common ones, but it took Thalia's mind off her troubles for a while. "What other talents do you have? Know any languages?"

"Well, Jean taught me a bit of French when he was teaching Kevin." Dean replied. Thalia hummed, forming a plan to use that on the court. She'd watched Ravens' old games, gauging her competition's level of play, and had noticed that Jean had often used the language with Kevin. Dean and Kevin never would have been on the court at the same time, and though Jean had taught Roberts some of his native language, it was highly unlikely in Thalia's mind that they would have spoken it on the court. 

Riko was training Thalia to be an offensive dealer, and while she hadn't played the position in years, her three years worth of training in the position when she was younger was slowly coming back to her. He would punish her if she ever dared use her left hand, and had even gone as far as threatening to break it like he had with Kevin's, so Thalia only played right-handed. It wasn't hard, she was used to it, and had only played left-handed when it was absolutely necessary before then anyway.

When she got back to her room later that night, Thalia found that some of her things seemed to have been moved or removed. All of the drawings she'd made of the Foxes had been burned and were a pile of ash in her rubbish bin with a note on her desk reading 'don't do this again or I will take away all means of expressing yourself.' It was no surprise to Thalia that the neat handwriting was Riko's, and she was fuming. She couldn't get back at him for this, or anything else he'd done or would do, but she could silently plot his inevitable death, and that alone was enough to calm Thalia's anger, if only slightly.


	50. XLIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOSPITALIZED
> 
> 'I've never known how it feels to break  
> Stuck in the waiting room thinking for goodness sake  
> Don't wanna be the one to comfort no more  
> I wanna be the one on the floor'

Thalia had no means of communication to the outside world, and when the season started up again and she was playing on the court, it was difficult to stay out of the way of the press. The day of her first game as a Raven, Thalia went out to get some things.

"I'm going out," she told Riko as the team were sitting in the hall for lunch. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

'Ravens never go anywhere alone," Riko said. He put on that smile Thalia knew meant 'I'll kill you and make it look like an accident if you don't go along with what I say' and held his hands out. "Come on Nathalia, you should know this by now." She knew better than to correct him on her name, but sighed reluctantly.

"Fine," Thalia huffed. "Roberts, you're coming with me." she turned on her heel.

"You know he doesn't swing your way, right Nathalia?" Riko said. She spun back around and glared at him. Out of the corner of her eye, Thalia saw Dean looking uncomfortable between Dan and Gracie. 

"I don't want to fuck him." she said. "He's the only person in this place I can stand." she turned to him and pointed towards the door. "Come on." Dean looked around to his teammates before realising there was no point in trying to get out of it and stood, following Thalia to the door.

She didn't have a car, so Roberts handed her the keys to his and got in the passenger seat. "This is probably one of the nicest cars I remember sitting in." she said as the engine roared to life. "Wait no, scrap that. I stole a few way back that were nicer than this, but it's definitely an upgrade to what I'm used to."

"Nice to know you like my car." Dean said. "Now drive it or I will." she rolled her eyes and pulled out of the parking lot. Technically, Thalia didn't have a driver's license, but she'd stolen enough cars to know how they worked. She drove fast in the direction she thought was the closest gas station, and when they got there, she didn't hesitate stepping out. Roberts followed and they went inside together. She slung an arm over his shoulder and they walked through the aisles looking for the dye.

"What colour should I do next, Dean?" Thalia asked him. 

"Why do you want to dye it?"

"Because my natural hair colour is coming back," she said, pointing to her roots. "And do you know what being a ginger would do to my public appearance?" he didn't comment on her words, instead, he turned back to the dyes and contemplated for a minute or so before reaching over and picking one up.

"This should do."

"Really? You think mint green is better than red?" Thalia said. Roberts looked sheepish and went to put it back but Thalia shrugged and took the box out of his hands. "I'm open to new ideas."

They headed to the counter and Thalia asked for a pack of cigarettes as well. The cashier eyed her and asked if she was old enough to be buying things like cigarettes. Thalia grabbed Dean's arm and put on a fake smile. "It's for my boyfriend here." the cashier didn't look convinced, but added the pack to her things.

Once they were out of the store, Dean huffed what could have been a laugh. "I thought you didn't want to fuck me."

"Only in your dreams, Roberts." Thalia said as she got in the car and lit a cigarette.

⥎  
⥐ 

"Thalia, Charles Daniel from the Daily Paper here. Why did you transfer to the Edgar Allan Ravens halfway through the season?" a reporter asked. Neil, along with the other Foxes, Wymack and Abby, had watched the Raven game specifically to see if Thalia would be playing, and if Riko had altered her appearance like he'd done with Neil. They knew she had a four tattooed on her left cheek, but what had surprised everyone was the new light green hair she was sporting in braids on top of her head.

"She's cute, I have to admit." Allison said as she sat on the arm of Renee's chair. "That hair's hot, and I know style." she added when the others looked at her. Allison shrugged and turned back to the television, holding Renee's hand. Nobody but Neil noticed the squeeze of support Allison gave her hand.

"There was an opportunity for me here, and I couldn't not take it," Thalia said on the tv. She was smiling so widely that every Fox present knew it was fake. "Riko came to talk to me at the Winter Banquet, asking if I wanted to come train at Castle Evermore for the holidays. Of course, I said yes, and the rest is history."

"There's talk that your old teammate, Neil Josten, also had this opportunity, but turned it down." Charles continued. Thalia acted as if she were interested in what the man was saying. Neil was just glad Riko hadn't forced a bottle of hair dye into Thalia's hair.

"Yes," Thalia said, looking empathetic. She was a master at manipulation and lying. Neil knew it from years of watching her first hand. He'd never been as good as her, and that was how his teammates seemed to get things out of him easier. "Neil even joined us over Christmas break, just as I did. However, he chose to return to the Foxes. Though the way he was so clearly thankful to Riko for all the training he'd given Neil made me tear up as I saw him go."

"Where is Jean Moreau? Did you replace him?" questions kept being fired at Thalia, and Neil just wished she wouldn't say anything else. But of course, she did.

"I do not know of Jean Moreau's current whereabouts, nor do I know why he left this amazing team. I suppose he, like Neil and Kevin before him, couldn't truly understand the effort needed to be put in and the skills and training exy demanded." Thalia sounded sad as she gave her final statement. "They are all pathetic, and do not have what it takes to be a true legend in the world of exy. Thank you for your time, goodnight."

Aaron, the least affected by Thalia's words, muted the screen. Everyone was silent. "She didn't mean it," Neil whispered. 

"Well of course she didn't mean it," Kevin snapped, standing up. He wobbled from the alcohol he'd been drinking, and Neil couldn't help but notice he had been absent for most of the actual game, and Andrew had gone to find him when the game was ending and interviews were beginning. "Riko made her. There's no doubt."

"Calm down, Kevin," Abby said, helping him sit back down again. 

"You don't know that for certain," Nicky said. "She could have meant every word of what she just said."

"She didn't." Neil said, louder this time so that everyone in the room heard and stared at him. Andrew's gaze was intent, and Neil knew why. He wanted Neil to tell the team the secret he'd shared with him at the airport. Not his real name. But that he and Thalia were siblings. Neil looked to Kevin, who had his head in his hands, and cleared his throat. 

"How do you know?" Dan asked. 

"Because I watched her manipulate people and lie to get out of things for years." Neil replied.

"You mean when you were kids? You said you were friends, right?" Nicky asked. Neil shook his head.

"No. When we were growing up she was a scared little girl who could hardly stand up for herself against her parents." Kevin looked up and stared at Neil with furrowed brows that asked what he thought he was doing. Neil didn't glance at him even for a second.

"But when we were teenagers, we spent a lot of time together, lying and getting out of things. Running away and hiding from our parents. They weren't good people." Neil continued.

"When you say 'our parents' you mean your parents, and her parents," Matt asked. "Like, separate parents. Right?" Neil shook his head and there was an outburst.

"Shut up!" Kevin yelled to the room. Neil was surprised and took his head out of his hands where he'd buried them. "Let Neil speak."

"Thanks, Kevin," he mumbled and stood, sighing before continuing. "Thalia's my sister. She's exactly a year younger than me and we were separated when she had the accident that took her memories."

"So, like, you grew up together and lived in the same house and everything," Nicky asked. 

'That's generally what happens with siblings, Nicholas," Allison said, slightly angry. "Andrew and Aaron are the exception." Neil wasn't the only person who'd noticed the twins weren't being referred to as 'The Monsters' quite as often as they were before Thalia had spoken up about it all those months ago, but still, nobody commented on it.

"Well then," Andrew said, standing from his place on the floor. "I'm leaving. Kevin, come on." and Kevin followed him out of the locker room. Aaron and Nicky quickly followed after.

"Neil, you coming?" Nicky asked on his way out.

"No, I'm going to go for a run." 

"Alright then." Nicky said and gave a quick wave to the rest of the group before darting out the door after his cousins and Kevin.

The upperclassmen offered Neil a ride back to the tower as well, but he refused them too. Dan gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder as she passed, and Renee offered a smile. None of the actions of support seemed to make Neil feel better, but on his way home, he made a detour to the art studios. He asked which one was Thalia's and was led to a room. Of course it was locked, but the woman had a set of keys for every studio. Neil thanked her and walked inside.

Admiring Thalia's paintings was difficult for Neil. He never quite understood why she always begged their mother to go to an art gallery at every new city they visited. While Neil and Mary would figure out where they were going next, Thalia would find out where the nearest gallery was, and how quickly it would take her to get back to their small motel room from there.

Her pieces were an array of people and flowers. Sometimes there were pops of colour in monochrome, and others were landscapes with a silhouette of a singular person in the background. It helped Neil feel closer to his sister. To understand her more. But even when he was standing right in front of the thing she loved so much he felt so far away from her. 

"Hey, you know the girl who did these isn't coming back, right?" the woman asked, now back in the doorway. Neil turned and nodded to her. "So we're getting rid of the paintings to charity unless someone takes them in. Just thought I'd let you know if you were close to her." she left and Neil turned back to the one in front of him.

A girl's back was facing him. Two big, black, feathered wings erupted from her back. She was clawing at them like she wanted to get rid of them. There were red marks on her back from the scratching. Neil figured that it was a show of Thalia's own helplessness, but could never be sure with her metaphors.

The woman's words stuck in his brain, and that was how Neil ended up calling Matt to pick him up in his truck. It was an understatement to say that Matt was surprised by the fact that Neil was carrying twenty paintings and telling him there were more to come back to. But when Neil told him it was the only thing he had left of Thalia, Matt's eyes softened and helped him load the paintings into the back of his truck.


	51. L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ATLANTIS
> 
> 'It's in my heart, it's in my head  
> I never take back the things I said  
> So, high above  
> I feel it coming down  
> She said, In my heart and in my head  
> Tell me why this has to end'

Neil had been surprised that the team had accepted the fact that he'd said Thalia was his sister. He thought it was the fact that he'd brought all of her paintings back to his and Matt's dorm, and Dan had seen them. She'd obviously told Allison and Renee, because the two came over, wanting to see them.

"They're not supposed to be in a gallery," Neil said, feeling protective of the only things he had left of his sister. He knew they were his teammates, however, and they had also been Thalia's. They cared about her. "But I suppose she wouldn't mind." Renee smiled and touched his arm in a friendly and caring way as she entered the room.

Neil had spread them out between the main room and the bedroom, but Matt had asked that he didn't have them everywhere, so they were in stacks against the wall. It had surprised Neil how many of them there were, but he'd accepted it and taken them all in.

Nicky and Kevin had come to see them as well, though Kevin had demanded he be alone with the paintings. Neil hadn't said no, and he'd spent the rest of the afternoon with Matt and the girls.

"What was she like as a kid?" Allison asked. Dan shot her a look that said they'd agreed not to ask about that sort of thing, but Neil sighed and looked at her.

"She was shy, and never liked standing up to our father. He was a bad person." Neil said. Allison frowned.

"Was? You talk about him in the past tense." she said. "I thought he was alive and well."

"Unfortunately, he is," Neil said. He didn't know what he could say that would throw Allison off his trail, but ended up telling her more about their childhood in Baltimore than he probably would have liked to. "Thalia never liked confrontation, and our father scared her. I always stood up for her when our mother wasn't around."

"I'm sorry Neil," Renee said. "You don't have to share more than you want to." she smiled, but Neil could see the grip she had on Allison's wrist seemed slightly painful. Neil only nodded.

When he got back to the dorm, he expected to see Kevin gone, but he was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and he was holding a canvas. Kevin didn't look up when Neil opened or closed the door. He didn't look up when Neil crossed the room and sat in front of him. And Neil saw why when he looked at the painting Kevin was holding.

It was a white chess piece - a queen, if Neil remembered correctly - held in a hand, knocking over a black king piece. He reached out and took the painting from Kevin with little resistance.   
"Turn it over," Kevin whispered, still not looking up. He sounded as if he'd been crying. Neil didn't say anything but did as Kevin said.

⥎  
⥐

Kevin,  
Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be together again soon. Riko will get bored eventually. I made this painting for you, to show you that you can do anything. You're the queen, Kevin. The deadliest piece on the board, if only you put your mind to it. Riko broke you because he knew you were the better player. He's the king, yes, but the king can only move one space at a time. You can move anywhere. You make the rules. Kevin, you can do anything if you put your mind to it.  
You have friends. Family. They will help you get through whatever happens. Things will happen, and they will happen for better or for worse, but just know that you can and will get through it. Nothing is ever permanent. I love you, Kevin. As much as I have ever loved anyone else close to me. You can do this.  
From Thalia

⥎  
⥐

"Why," Neil whispered. "Why would you show me this?"

"She's your sister," Kevin said, looking up now. His eyes were red, and Neil knew he'd been with this painting for quite some time. "You deserved to see it."

"But this is so," Neil searched for the words as he put the canvas back down. "Personal. This wasn't meant for me. It was for you, Kevin."

"And now she's gone, and none of it matters anyway." Kevin said, standing and taking the painting with him as he left the room. Neil sat there for a few more minutes, taking in what Kevin meant. Yes, Thalia was gone, but like she'd written, Riko would get bored eventually, and nothing was permanent. She'd be back soon. She had to be, for everyone's sake.

⥎  
⥐

"Your brother is being quite problematic," Riko said condescendingly at a meal. Thalia was leaning on her hand and moving around her food across from him. She didn't even look up.

"Oh?" she asked, not really caring.

"Yes," Riko said, probably giving Thalia a sour look. "At his game last night he insulted me and said I don't deserve him and Kevin. Even you."

"I saw," Thalia responded. She'd watched the game from her bedroom, while Riko had flown out to watch it in person. She'd been quite happy at Neil's words, hearing him say the things she couldn't. "I believe his words were, 'Riko as a person is hard to respect' and 'I figured he was an egocentric maniac who was so desperate for his own glory he refused to see the potential in anyone else'. Though I'm sure you heard them better, actually being there, and all."

She looked up at Riko now. He was silently fuming. She could see that under his calm façade. "He was right, of course. We all know it. You know it." Thalia was pushing her luck and she knew it, but there was nothing she could do to stop the words from falling out of her mouth. People around the dining room were looking at them now, and Roberts and his friends seemed worried for Thalia. She wasn't, though. 

"You say one more thing," Riko warned silently. Thalia smirked and stood, walking off.


	52. LI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MIND YOUR MANNERS
> 
> 'Manners  
> You better reconsider  
> Cause you will never do better  
> There is no one like me'

"Where is he?" 

"He took a bottle and left again." Nicky replied. "Don't know where he went."

"With coach?"

"Don't think so. Aaron left, too, right after you did."

Neil didn't care what Aaron did. He nodded and left, and Nicky didn't call after him. Neil took the stairs up to the roof and fought the knob the way he'd seen Andrew jar it loose. It only needed a couple of tries before he got it open, and he stepped out onto the windy rooftop.

Andrew was sitting on the back end of the roof this time. He was holding a bottle of vodka that looked empty from Neil's angle, but the sunlight flashed and showed there was a little bit of it left. Neil made his way across the roof and sat down out of Andrew's reach. He looked at the carpark, where a few cars still sat, but people were already scrubbing the concrete.

"Give me a good reason not to push you off the side," Andrew said as he passed Neil a pack of cigarettes without looking at him. Neil took it and lit one.

"I'd drag you with me. It's a long way down."

"I hate you." Andrew took a sip of his vodka and looked over at Neil. "Ninety percent of the time the very sight of you makes me want to commit murder. I think about carving the skin from your body and hanging it out as a warning to every other fool who thinks he can stand in my way."

"What about the other ten?" Neil pushed. 

"I told you not to put a leash on me."

"I didn't. You put that leash on yourself when you told me to stay no matter what. Don't be mad at me just because I was smart enough to pick up the other end of it." Neil replied.

"If you pull it again I will kill you, Thalia's brother or not." Andrew said. Neil narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe when the year is up you will," Neil said. "Thalia's brother or not."

"I don't think it was the money," Andrew said after a few moments of silence, startling Neil. He looked at Andrew with a confused frown on his face. "Why they chased you so long. I imagine at some point they realised it was more important to hurt you than to recoup what they'd lost."

"But Thalia was supposed to be Moriyama property, and I was supposed to be dead." Neil shared. Andrew looked at him oddly and then his face regained its bored mask and he stubbed his cigarette out between them. "I want to see you lose control."

"Last year you wanted to live. Now you seem hell-bent on getting killed. If I felt like playing another round with you right now, I'd ask why you've had a change of heart. As it stands, I've had enough of your stupidity to last me a week. Go back inside and bother the others."

"Am I bothering you?" Neil asked as he got to his feet. 

"Beyond telling."

"Interesting," Neil commented. "Last week you said nothing gets under your skin." Andrew didn't say anything in response, and Neil took his victory as what it was and went inside.

⥎  
⥐

"I'm going out." Thalia said. She had her things to go partying, and even though she desperately wanted to make a run for it, Riko was sitting in the room closest to the entrance with most of the team around him doing something quietly. He looked up and glared at her.

"Where?" Riko asked, putting down his book. "And you're not going alone."

"Out, and I'll take Gracie with me." Thalia said, gesturing over to the only female she could tolerate on the team. The others were prissy know-nothings who she couldn't stand, but Gracie was down to earth and knew what pain was like. She stood and made her way across the room. "And Dean and Dan can come with me too. Just to be safe, you know?" she asked rhetorically. 

All four of them left a fuming Riko behind and Thalia got in the driver's seat of Dean's car. "Where are we going this time?" Roberts asked. Thalia turned in her seat and smiled at him.

"We are going to a party I heard was happening off campus." Thalia pulled out of the parking lot and turned the radio up loudly.

"A party?" Gracie asked. Thalia hummed a yes. "But I'm not wearing any party clothes." 

"Don't worry, my friend," Thalia looked at her in the backseat. "I stashed some stuff in here a few days ago that should fit you. They're in the glove compartment. Dean, darling. If you would be so kind."

He reached forward and pulled out a bag, tossing it into the backseat with Gracie and Dan. Gracie took it and took out the dress Thalia had put in there. "This is beautiful. Where'd you get it?"

"Stole it." Thalia said. "A couple months back. It's no problem." she said, and looked at Gracie's bewildered face in the mirror. "Don't worry, it was from South Carolina. One of the girls in the dorm tower was very friendly and she let me borrow some of her things. I may or may not have brought them all here with me."

"Um, well alright then," Gracie said. Thalia pulled into a gas station and the two girls got out. They headed inside and Gracie went to the bathroom while Thalia headed to the front counter.

"Hi, I'm trying to stop smoking," she said to the assistant with a bright smile on her face. "So I'll need some gum, please." Thalia put the cheapest pack on the counter and the man boredly scanned it and told her the price. Thalia put a five dollar note down and thanked him, taking her purchase.

Thalia only had to wait a few more minutes for Gracie to emerge from the bathroom. "Bitchin', girl. Seriously." Thalia said as she pulled herself off the wall. Gracie was wearing a shiny black dress that pulled in the right places and showed off her curves. Thalia had on a two piece sparkly blue dress with a low v-cut neckline. She took Gracie by the shoulders and looked her in the eye.

"Gracie, darling, do you have an ex you need to get over?" she asked. Gracie frowned and shook her head. "No, of course not. Well I do, and it would mean the world to me if you could be my wingwoman tonight. Can you do that?" Gracie nodded. "Great. Okay."

"Is this ex in question Kevin Day?" Gracie asked as Thalia was turning around. She turned back and looked Gracie dead in the eye. "Just wondering." she asked quieter this time. 

"Yes. It is. I'm never going to see him again, so there's no point dwelling over what could have been." Thalia was diminishing under the words she was saying, but it was the only way she could get over the fact that Kevin was in her past and they couldn't be together. Not now, not ever again. 

"You don't have to do this, Thalia," Gracie said. There were tears in Thalia's eyes now, and Gracie could clearly see it because she moved to touch her arm, but Thalia jerked it away. "You can have fun without giving up. Without forgetting him. It's clear you really care about Kevin. I didn't know him very long because I only got here the year he left, but even at Evermore, Kevin cared about people."

"Kevin only cares about exy," Thalia tried to make it easier on herself. Gracie gave her a pitying look and nodded, not saying any more until they got the the car. 

"Damn Gracie," Dan said. "You look pretty cute."

"Babe, come on. We talked about this," Dean whined. Thalia smiled. These people were her friends. "No flirting with Gracie just because you two could hypothetically date."

"I would never leave you for your best friend," Dan said, a dopey smile on his face. Dean pouted but smiled again when Dan leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips. "Alright, let's go."

⥎  
⥐

Thalia was infinitely grateful for two things; aspirin and Gracie Williams. The latter had made sure Thalia didn't do anything she was sure to regret, like hook up with someone, and the former had saved her from what would have been the biggest headache she had ever encountered. 

"I will never be able to repay you," Thalia grumbled with her head in her hands. Gracie laughed, making Thalia groan for what could have been the hundredth time. "Seriously, though. Thanks."

"It's no big deal." Gracie said. "I could tell you still had feelings for Kevin. I didn't want to let you feel guilty about what could have happened last night."

"I do still have feelings for him," Thalia said, on the verge of tears again. "Did you know I made him a painting. It was a metaphor. And on the back of it, I wrote him a letter. I said I loved him. And I do, but I'll never be able to say it to his face." then she started crying.

"Maybe you will. Maybe there'll be some sort of miracle and Kevin will come bouncing in that door like a knight in shining armour and rescue you from this hell." Gracie said. It made Thalia smile, and she would have laughed if it were not for the pounding in her head. She knew it was impossible. "Something will happen, and it will be for the better or the worse, but it will happen, and I can almost guarantee it will lead you back to Kevin."

"Thanks, Gracie." Thalia said. She looked up and smiled at her. Gracie lead her over to her bed. Gracie left with the promise of returning in a few hours, and Thalia fell back asleep.


	53. LII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART
> 
> 'Don't go breaking my heart  
> I couldn't if I tried  
> Oh honey if I get restless  
> Baby you're not that kind'

When Thalia went to the locker room the next day to get her things for practice, her locker clicked and she shut her eyes as something wet and slimy attacked her. For a single moment she was stunned and didn't move, but then Thalia rubbed the stuff off her face and opened her eyes.

A red liquid was on her hands, and, likely, the rest of her body. It didn't take long to understand what this was, and Thalia started hyperventilating. She held her hands in front of her face and stared at the blood while trying not to throw up. There was a hand on her back and she jerked away from it.

"Hey, hey. Thalia, calm down. It's just me." Gracie's voice said. Thalia looked to her with fear in her eyes, and Gracie nodded in understanding. She came forward and led Thalia to the bathroom as she tried not to break down. They froze, however, in the doorways to the bathroom. Thalia looked up to the mirror and read the words she knew were meant for her; 'Happy 18th Birthday Princess'

"Thalia," Gracie said apprehensively. Thalia swallowed.

"If Riko thinks this will make me like him, he's fucking wrong," she said. Gracie didn't say anything in return, and Thalia headed straight to the showers.

"I'll bring you some spare clothes." Gracie called and Thalia heard the door close behind her. As she scrubbed the blood off her body and clothes, Thalia looked to some of her scars, even though she'd vowed never to do so, especially in the shower.

Specifically, Thalia touched the ones on her inner thighs. There was no doubt these were self-inflicted, even if she couldn't remember it completely. Couldn't remember the feelings that led her to these self-destructive ways. But now she could understand why. The marks had long been scars, but Thalia felt the sudden urge to resurface the pain and the feelings. She looked around, but couldn't find anything sharp enough. But there was a mirror.

Thalia walked over to the mirrors that still had the message written in blood near the top, and punched one of them. Hard. It cracked and Thalia's own blood erupted from her knuckles. She pulled back in pain and shook out her hand. Then Thalia picked up a shard of broken glass and walked over to the stream of water again. 

She sat and placed the glass over one of the scars on her thigh. There was nothing for her. Not here. Not in the world now that there was no way she'd see her family or friends again. She pressed down and tore through the weak skin. Thalia bit her lip to stop herself from crying, but it just drew blood in her mouth. 

There was nothing worth living for. Thalia didn't regret much, and she definitely didn't regret switching places with Jean, or making sure that he, her brother or lover didn't ever have to return to the 'care' of the Moriyamas and Riko. Surely her debt had been paid. Surely they all had been. So Thalia drug the glass along the scar and only stopped when there was a cry of her name.

"Thalia, what the fuck are you doing?" Gracie called, dropping the clothes she'd brought and running over to her friend. "Put that down, now," she said calmly as she dropped to her knees and reached out for Thalia's hand. She looked at Gracie. She was a good person, but Thalia couldn't understand how Riko hadn't broken her yet. Maybe she hadn't been here long, or possibly she had a strong will. Thalia didn't know her that well. But Gracie could make it. She could survive. Thalia knew that she couldn't.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, letting her grip on the glass go slack. Gracie took her chance and snatched the glass out of Thalia's hand, putting it beside her. 'Sorry' meant regrets. Thalia didn't have regrets. But she was sorry for making a friend worry about her. It wasn't a regret, only a feeling. An emotion. 

Gracie found a first aid kit under a sink and put Thalia back together. She helped wash her and put her in the clothes she'd brought, and Thalia would be forever grateful for all that Gracie did for her at the Ravens' Nest.

"Thank you," she said once they were done. "I don't even know you that well, but you helped me anyway." Gracie shrugged.

"I have two older brothers and three younger sisters. I grew up in a nice neighbourhood, so me and my siblings were always sheltered," Thalia didn't understand where she was going with this story, but listened anyway. "But from a very early age I knew I wanted to help people whenever and however I could. You are not the exception. And besides, you're my friend."

That was a word Thalia was still getting used to, even after living with the Foxes and hearing 'brother' for the past few months.

They headed to practice, even though it would take a day or two for Thalia's gear to be cleaned and fixed properly. She headed straight for Riko and pushed between his shoulder blades, making him stumble. He turned with a frown on his face and lightened only slightly when he saw Thalia.

"Ah, birthday girl," Riko turned to the team. "Everyone, it's Nathalia's birthday today. We're celebrating after practice. And by that I mean you get to have three hours free instead of two." Nobody said anything to that, and Riko turned back to Thalia, who had a furious look on her face. 

Riko looked past her at Gracie and raised a single eyebrow. She touched Thalia's shoulder before she left. "I may be lenient with you on your birthday, but that does not excuse you from practice altogether. What are you doing without your uniform on?"

"Great way to avoid the fact that you set a trap in my locker to attack me with blood, and wrote a message with exquisite handwriting on the bathroom mirrors saying happy birthday." Thalia said, her arms crossed and her temper flying through the roof. Her leg stung, so she put all her weight on the other one, but soon enough that one was aching too. Riko had the audacity to look surprised.

"That wasn't me, Nathalia," he said. "But whoever it was is a genius, the next time I see them I'll congratulate them." he smiled. "Fine. You can sit out today, but you have to run laps around the outside of the court." Thalia seethed as he walked onto the court and wished he were dead. She walked out of the stadium and found her favourite place where nobody would look for her. Thalia pulled out a pack of cigarettes and smoked one after the other until she fell asleep on the grass.

⥎  
⥐

"Happy birthday!" Nathalia looked blearily at the two boys in front of her. One was smiling and holding out a wrapped box, while the other stood straight with only the ghost of a smile on his face. Thalia smiled and sat up.

"Thanks, guys," she said with a heavy thought in her chest. Not only was it Nathalia's birthday, but it was the day she shared with her brother. They were born on the exact same day a year apart, but Nathalia hadn't seen him in two years. She wondered where he was, and if he was alive. She doubted he and their mother would have survived this long with her father on their trail, but Nathalia could only hope.

Nathalia took the gift from Kevin's hands and opened the box. She gasped at the sight of the necklace. It was a simple silver chain with a pearl on the end. Nathalia reached up and hugged Kevin in thanks. He was her only friend in Castle Evermore, since Riko had begun to grow distant.

"It's no problem, really, Lia." Kevin said, a shy smile on his face. "We thought you'd like it." 'We', Kevin said. Nathalia looked at Riko standing behind Kevin. He had started to smile a little since Nathalia had accepted the gift. 

"It's beautiful, don't you think?" Riko asked, a spark in his eye. Nathalia nodded. "But not as beautiful as you." Nathalia folded in on herself a little in childish embarrassment. Riko winked at her and Kevin looked slightly uncomfortable. "We'll let you get ready for the day, and then we'll show you what we have planned. It is your eleventh birthday, after all. We can't let that go to waste. You don't turn eleven every day."


	54. LIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FOR HIM.
> 
> 'You don't have to say I love you to say I love you  
> Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons  
> We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue  
> Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money  
> All I need is you'

"Let me use your phone."

"What?"

"You heard me. I need your phone. Riko took mine when I first came here and hasn't given it back." Thalia said, her hand out and waiting. "I need to make a call." Gracie hesitated but sighed and pulled out her phone from her back pocket and handed it over to Thalia. "Thanks." she murmured as she entered the phone number she remembered. It was ingrained in her brain. She could only hope he'd pick up.

"Hello?"

"Neil." Thalia breathed. She collapsed onto the bed behind her. Gracie stepped out of the room and closed the door, sensing it was a sensitive call. Thalia was thankful. "I don't have much time, this isn't my phone, so don't try calling it again."

"Thalia? Are you alright?" he asked. Thalia shook her head though Neil couldn't see it.

"Someone left me a lovely message this morning. I didn't even know it was my birthday," Thalia said in French. "So that was a surprise. You never told me."

"No, I didn't." Neil said, using the same language. "I got the same message. I guess you got the blood, too, then." Thalia hummed. "It's my birthday as well, Thalia. We were born on the exact same day a year apart. It was laughable back when we were kids. But I guess that's not what you called to talk about."

"It was, but it wasn't the only thing." Thalia hesitated and bit her lip. "Is Kevin alright? Did you get Jean to the Trojans? How's Andrew doing?"

"Kevin's heartbroken and wanted to punch Jean the moment he heard he was with us. Yes, I saw your note and sent Jean to the Trojans. He didn't want to go, and I'm still wondering how you got Jeremy Knox's phone number, but I won't ask that now." Neil said. "Andrew's alright. He's much different off his medication, obviously. No smiles. Won't talk to anyone unless absolutely necessary."

"Riko didn't do it," Thalia spurted, needing to get it out there.

"What do you mean, Riko didn't do it?"

"He didn't put the blood in our lockers, and didn't write those messages. Who else could have done it?" Thalia said.

"How can you be sure?" Neil asked.

"I'm sure, Neil. Now answer my question or let me talk to Kevin." Thalia spat. It was a Friday. The Foxes had just won their game against the Terrapins, so Thalia knew Kevin would be around. There was a shuffle and talking before the voice on the other end of the line switched and Thalia couldn't help but smile despite the tears in her eyes.

"Why?" Kevin asked, voice tired and breathless from going all out on his game. "Why did you do it?" he said in French.

"Kevin, you know why. Did you see my painting?" Thalia asked. He hummed, trying to save his voice. "Good. Then you know. Kevin, I don't know what to say to you right now. Congratulations? I miss you? I wish you were here? But that's not true. I don't wish you were here, and I'm glad you're not. I just want to listen to your voice."

"Thalia, how can you write what you did on the back of that painting and then leave me without an explanation?" Kevin sounded more than a little hurt. Gracie stepped back in the room and gestured that Thalia's time was running out. That's when the tears started falling. "You can't say I love you to someone and then go and be tortured and abused by someone you know will hurt you in any way he can think of."

"Kevin," Thalia's voice wavered. "I'm sorry. I have to go. You can't call this number back, or everyone involved will be in danger. I love you. I really do. But I have to go."

"Happy birthday, my love." Kevin said quietly in French before Thalia hung up the line. She put her hand over her mouth and shut her eyes. Gracie sat next to her on the bed and took the phone out of her hands. Gracie rubbed her hand on Thalia's back to comfort her, and Thalia turned and burrowed her face in Gracie's shoulder.

"It's okay," Gracie said quietly and soothingly. The fresh cut on Thalia's thigh burned and reminded her of the pain she could cause to herself. But the feeling of her heart breaking was worse, and she could hardly breathe.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Gracie said and held Thalia's shoulders, forcing her to look into Gracie's eyes. "In," Gracie said and Thalia breathed in with her. "Out," she exhaled. They repeated this until Thalia got control of her breathing. "You're okay, Thalia. You're going to be okay."

She wasn't, but that was besides the point. Gracie was a friend trying to help her get better, and she was refusing the treatment. Thalia couldn't keep doing this to herself. Breaking down and trying to build herself back up again. She'd die before it worked, either willingly or unwillingly. It frightened Thalia, but she didn't know how to stop it.

She wouldn't be okay so long as she didn't know who she really was, or who she had been. What she'd been through and the things that made up her entire being. Thalia had to find out who she really was, or her whole world could destroy her.

"I need a cigarette," she whispered and stumbled outside. Thalia took a moment to compose herself and walked down the corridor and out of the building. She turned a corner and ducked under the chain fence. Thalia made her way to her usual spot, where a collection of cigarette butts was culminating. She took out a stick and her lighter but spotted something in the distance that she hadn't noticed before. Thalia put her things back in her pocket and headed in the direction of the thing.

It surprised her that it was a gravestone, and startled her even more that it had her name on it. Well, a name that Riko used. That Kevin had used when he'd first found out that Thalia and Neil weren't who they said they were.

Nathalia Wesninski was written in bold letters at the top of the gravestone, along with a birthdate and death-date. Her age was printed below that, along with the words 'Sister, Daughter and Friend to all' Thalia remembered what Kevin had told her. They were told she was dead. So none of the Moriyamas actually knew she was still alive until late last year. Suicide, they'd been told. The newspaper even said so.

"Nathalia Wesninski is dead," Thalia whispered to herself. She wouldn't be her past. Wouldn't let herself dwell on it any longer. Only moments ago she'd been telling herself her life wouldn't be complete until she knew everything about her past, but now Thalia realised she didn't care. That maybe losing her memories was giving her a second chance. A poor start to a second chance, but she would make the most of it. "But Thalia Josten isn't."


	55. LIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AFRAID
> 
> 'When I wake up  
> I'm afraid  
> Somebody else might take my place'

Thalia had been summoned to Tetsuji's office one morning, told blatantly that she would appear on a talk show in three days, and told to leave again. Three days later, she was standing in the wings of a stage wearing the custom made black dress that all Raven girls wore to any event, waiting to go on the stage with her best press smile and suffer through half an hour of questions.

"And our next guest, who is the talk of the town in the exy world right now over her transfer from Palmetto State to Edgar Allan, Thalia Warden!" the show host, Felicity Hamner, said, her voice getting partly lost in the cheers from the crowd. Thalia took in a deep breath and stepped onto the stage with a smile that would rival Kevin's press smile attached to her face. 

"It's so good to finally meet you, Thalia," Felicity said. She was smiling brightly and it was clear that she was ecstatic to have such a high ranking player on her sofa. Thalia only laughed and said that she was glad to meet Felicity too.

"So, like I said for your entrance, the whole exy world is talking about your transferal, even though it was months ago." Felicity said. "Tell me, why'd you do it?"

"Well, Felicity," Thalia said like she'd been instructed by the PR team at Edgar Allan. "Like I told many reporters at games over the past few months, I had the opportunity laid out in front of me and it was too good to say no to."

"There have been rumours going around that you had the opportunity to play for the USC Trojans while you were still in California." Felicity asked. "Is that true?"

"It is, Felicity," Thalia said, getting a rise out of the live crowd. "Though back then I was focusing on my studies and didn't really have many plans for the future. Especially not playing exy." she laughed, encouraging Felicity and the crowd to join in.

"Did you know that Jean Moreau was transferring out of Edgar Allan to USC when you took the contract?" 

"I didn't, Felicity," Lie. "It was a real surprise to me. Kevin had told me so many great things about Jean, and I so very wanted to play with him." True. Thalia wanted to play with Jean so much, but she would hardly call the two weeks of Christmas break worthy of playing with him. Felicity feigned sadness.

"On the topic of Kevin, have you stayed in contact with him, or is Riko taking you for himself?" she meant it as a joke. There was a mischievous smile on her face. Thalia found it insulting, however, and stiffened visibly in her seat. 

"I have spoken to Kevin once since I left for the Ravens' nest back in December. And after Neil left to go back to Palmetto State, I have only contacted him a single time, as well." Thalia smiled.

"Well I'm sorry to hear of that," Felicity said. There was a pause of silence. Then, "Thalia, while you were playing with the Foxes, it caught the attention of many fans that you were playing with both hands dominantly. Is this meaning that you're ambidextrous?"

"Yes,"

"But you haven't played like that since your transfer to the Ravens. Why?"

"Riko wants me to focus on playing with only my right hand, especially since he's training me to play as an offensive dealer now, and not a striker," Thalia said. "I had to learn the rules all over again from that position, and it's much easier when I start with only one hand, and then over time, as I become better, to learn how to use the other, as well." Felicity nodded and then turned to the cameras. 

"Well, that's all we have time for in regards to Thalia Warden," Felicity said, and Thalia looked to the side wings when she heard her name called softly. She didn't know who it was, but Thalia knew she had to speak to the woman, even if she knew it was a bad idea. 

"And, cut. Good job everyone." The producer called. Thalia stood and shook Felicity's hand. She said her thanks and turned to where the woman had been standing. She wasn't there anymore. Thalia frowned but made her way off the stage anyway. The woman was standing in the entrance, and Thalia was surprised Riko, who'd come, hadn't made his way to backstage yet. 

"Thalia, it's lovely to see you," the woman said. She had a sickly sweet smile on her lips, and Thalia didn't like the sound of her voice, either. It was somewhat familiar. As if a blurred memory was forcing its way to the surface. "Again." and then it clicked. Princess. Tattoo. 'That wasn't so hard,'

"Sorry, do I know you?" Thalia feigned innocence. She would never admit it, but Thalia really wanted to see Riko in that moment. "I don't remember your face." The woman chuckled.

"You don't remember a lot of things, do you Princess?"

"Sorry?" Thalia said again. She was inching backwards, and the woman saw this, though she didn't move. 

"You heard me. Princess." Thalia felt something on the back of her head and she fell forwards. 

⥎  
⥐

"Hello?"

"Hello, Junior. Do you remember me?"

Neil felt sick to the stomach. That voice belonged to a woman he never wanted to see or hear from again. Lola Malcolm was vicious and cruel, and Neil waited for the day that she, her brother, and Neil's own father eventually died. He knew that day wouldn't come anytime soon, and that his own death was more than likely to happen before theirs, but he could hope that age would finish them before it did him.

"I didn't give you this number, Lola." Neil said.

"No, but a very helpful source did." Lola said. "And if you remember me, that means you remember who you are and where your place is."

"I made my own place."

"You don't have that right," Lola said. Heels clacked on her side of the phone, and Neil imagined her pacing back and forth in front of something. Someone. "Are you listening? It's time to go. If you make this difficult for us, you will regret it for the rest of your very short life. Do you understand?"

"Where's my sister," Neil said in a low and threatening voice. Lola's pacing stopped and a groan came from her line. Neil tensed and gripped his phone as hard as he could. "Let her go."

"See, your father wants you and the Princess." Lola said, putting the phone back to her ear.

"Put a hand on her and you'll regret it." Neil said. 

"Oh, what's this?" Lola mocked. "Has the baby finally inherited a spine? Your father will be glad to hear it."

"He's in Seattle," Neil choked. "You won't get that far."

"He is in Baltimore." Lola said, effectively stealing Neil's breath and leaving him as an empty shell. "His parole hearing was on your birthday. They had to notify his family when the case came up. You two must have missed the memo, being dead and all, so I'll fill you in." 

"They made a final decision last week, and the feds swung it so he'd get released back to Maryland this morning. They're hoping being back in familiar territory will make him careless." Lola said, and Neil could hear the savage smile in her voice. "Don't worry, kid. They'll never know you stopped by. I'll make sure of it."

"You don't honestly think you can take me away from here," Neil said, "My team will know I'm missing and they won't leave without me."

"They don't have a choice. We can't kill them, but we can hurt them." Lola said. "You'll see."

"No," Neil said but Lola hung up.

He didn't know what to do. Neil had promised Andrew he'd stand his ground, but he'd also told Thalia years ago that he wouldn't leave her behind. He'd already done it once, and now Neil would be sending her to her own death if he didn't leave. He was torn between saving his team and keeping his promise to Andrew and saving his sister, leaving behind everything and everyone else.

Neil walked down the hallway to the locker room, and saw a security guard watching the Foxes, but when Neil got a good look at his face, he immediately recognised Jackson Plank. Then Romero, Lola's brother, stepped into the hall wearing a similar guards uniform to Jackson.

"If we're all accounted for, we should head out." Jackson said.

"We're still waiting for Neil." Nicky said and Jackson gestured to Neil.

"I'm sorry," Neil said. Nicky waved it off as if he were apologising for the wait, but Neil's heart was heavy as he realised none of his teammates would know why he was leaving them tonight. Everyone collected their things, and Neil watched them. He was sorry for leaving them with lies. Sorry that they'd have to get the truth out of Kevin, who'd be grieving for Neil's sister. 

Only Andrew saw the strain in Neil's mask. He crossed the room and stood in front of him, a silent demand in his stare. Neil didn't know what to say. He couldn't speak in German, because Nicky and Aaron would understand. And he wouldn't speak in English, because Jackson and Romero would understand. Eventually, Neil decided German, because Nicky and Aaron weren't a threat.

"Thank you," he finally said. Neil couldn't mean thank you for all of it; the keys, the trust, the honesty and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing."


	56. LV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KILLER QUEEN
> 
> 'She's a Killer Queen  
> Gunpowder, gelatin  
> Dynamite with a laser beam  
> Guaranteed to blow your mind  
> Anytime'

The riot was planned. Neil knew it as soon as Jackson and Romero picked him up. Neil dropped his bag and stick. Andrew and Kevin would know what it meant. He didn't want to leave. It hadn't been his choice. 

Neil was shoved into the front seat of a car, his ankles cuffed to the bar beneath the seat, and his hands tied behind him. He struggled for a moment, before realising it was useless. A knife blade cut into his forearm and Neil stilled at Romero's voice. He didn't know where Lola and Thalia were, but he could only hope Lola wasn't hurting his sister. He knew it was a false hope, and there was no way she'd hold back until Neil got there. 

⥎  
⥐

Thalia groaned and lifted her head. The light was harsh and she kept her eyes closed as much as possible. Thalia tried to rub her head where it ached, but found her hands were tied behind her back. Behind a seat that she was sitting in. She panicked then, and tried to bring her legs up and kick out at whoever had attacked her, but that just caused more pain. Metal dug into her ankles and Thalia's eyes finally opened.

"Ah, she lives," the woman's voice called. Thalia stiffened and she looked around for the voice. She found that she was in a car. They weren't moving, and the headlights were off. Thalia could hardly see anything, but there were a few dim lights in the car and she could smell smoke distinctly. 

"What do you want from me?" Thalia asked. her voice was scratchy. She didn't know how long she'd been out. A few hours? Days? Weeks? She doubted it would be the latter, but couldn't count on anything. The dashboard read that it was almost eight at night, but Thalia still had no confirmation of the day.

"Do you really not remember me? Not even my name?" 

"I remember you cutting my palm when I flinched as I got a tattoo." Thalia said, deciding to stare straight ahead. The voice was coming from behind her. "I'm pretty sure it's illegal to tattoo children, though I'm guessing a lot of what you do is illegal."

The woman laughed. Thalia stayed silent. The back door opened and light flooded Thalia's vision. She tried to turn but a blade pressed into her forearm and she turned back. "Thalia?" a familiar voice said. Thalia's eyes widened and she turned again, ignoring the pain.

Neil sat there, hair red and eyes blue, and Thalia was never happier to see a familiar face. But Neil looked to his left and saw the woman. "Lola," Neil breathed, and if it hadn't already clicked for Thalia, she was at least able to put a name to the face she dreaded to see as a child. 

"Ah, Junior and the Princess in the same car." Lola said. Thalia could tell she was smiling. "It's been a while since I've seen that." a man Thalia didn't recognise cuffed Neil's ankles to the seat and his wrists to the headrest in front of him while Lola held a gun to his head so he didn't escape.

"Let her go, she doesn't remember anything," Neil said. It almost sounded as if he were begging, but Thalia knew he wouldn't. A thought suddenly occured to her; the Foxes. Were they safe? What had happened? They must have taken Neil after the game, so what had happened to the rest of his teammates?

"Oh, but your father so very wants to see you both." Lola said, as the man now next to Thalia started driving. "And this isn't about what you do and don't know." Immediately, Thalia knew what she meant. They were going to die tonight. And it would be long and painful, and afterwards, there would be nothing. Nothing to remember. Nothing to feel. Nothing to live for. And Thalia and Neil would die the people they had become, and not the people they were supposed to be. And maybe that was alright.


	57. LVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT A FEELING
> 
> 'What a feeling to be right here beside you now  
> Holding you in my arms  
> When the air ran out and we both started running wild  
> The sky fell down'

At some point, Nathalia had fallen unconscious again, and when she woke up, there was searing pains all over her body. She was lying on a concrete floor, hand in front of her face, and, beyond that, another body. She didn't associate it with Nathaniel's until she tried to sit up. Before that, though, she realised that there were burns and cuts all over her hand, and remembered immediately what Lola had done to them. 

"I'm going to kill her," Nathalia's voice was harsh. She knew she'd been screaming, or at least crying, and it hadn't done anything to help her vocal cords that already hurt from months of yelling out at the nest.

"Aw, Princess, I thought we'd bonded back there in the car," Lola's voice said. Nathalia's head whipped as fast as it could under the pain towards Lola was sitting backwards on a wooden chair. "Woah, don't tire yourself out there," she said, feigning kindness. Nathalia clutched her head. The room was spinning, and she could only just make out Nathaniel also sitting up.

Nathaniel showed Lola his hands. "These are going to get infected if we don't clean them soon," He didn't look at Nathalia, but she knew he was directing his meaning at her as well. The burns and cuts were slightly puffy and Nathalia found it hard to close her fingers because of the cuts Lola had made on the inside and out of her palm.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you," Lola said.

"You're not us,"

Nathaniel stood and walked over to a sink in the corner of the room. He rubbed his hands under the water, forcing himself to put soap in the cuts and burns as well. Nathalia stood, knowing she'd have to do the same to her wounds. As she walked over to Nathaniel, he finished with his face and turned, holding his hands out to dry. Nathalia stopped in her place.

Nathaniel's face had two parallel cuts down his right cheek, which Nathalia had been able to see before, as well as a burn she hadn't. The burn was in place of Nathaniel's number five tattoo, and Nathalia knew that if they made it through this, Riko wouldn't be happy about it. She wasn't particularly happy either, but for a different reason. She couldn't believe Lola had done that. Permanently scarred Nathaniel's face with a burn. 

Nathaniel didn't look at her as he walked away from the sink so that Nathalia could use it. She did the same as her brother had, though she didn't have any wounds on her face. She didn't know why Lola hadn't burned her tattoo off, but didn't complain about having it ruining her complexion. The soap stung her cuts and burns, but Nathalia ploughed through and eventually hung her hands out in front of her too, letting them dry.

"How much longer is this going to take?" Nathaniel questioned.

"The waiting or the killing?" Lola asked. "The latter might take a while. It's not normally his style, but you've caused us so much trouble and money he might drag it out. Make an exception."

"You could have just let us go," Nathalia spoke. Lola looked at her as if she'd just said the devil walked the earth.

"Do not say such childish things."

The two of them sat down on the ground to wait. They sat across from each other, and Nathalia wanted so desperately to speak to her brother. To ask the questions burning on her mind, and to ask if he was okay. But instead she stayed silent with her head down, just as Nathaniel was doing. And they waited.

⥎  
⥐

"They're coming, we have to leave, now!" Thalia's mother called. Neil was already packing their things and checking their guns for bullets. Thalia collected her own things and followed her brother and mother out of the motel room. They ran quickly to the car they'd stolen and their mother started the engine.

Before long, they were on the road, driving at an illegal speed away from the small place in Seattle that had been just another stop. Just another place to lay low. Now they were driving as fast as they could away from that place. Away from Nathan Wesninski and his men. 

They went off the road and tumbled down a small hill. Soon enough, the three of them were out of the car with their things and Thalia only gave herself a second to check the car. It had a blown tire. They'd been shot at. 

"Come on!" Neil yelled and grabbed his sister's arm as they stumbled away and into the forest.

⥎  
⥐

When the door opened at the top of the stairs, Lola was standing in a heartbeat. Nathaniel looked up, but kept a look of impassiveness on his face, as he hoped his sister was doing. 

Two years behind bars hadn't aged his father a bit. Aside from a few lost pounds, Nathan Wesninski looked the same now as he always had. He didn't have any shoes on and was wearing black jeans and a button up shirt. It was clear he didn't find the need to dress up for work, despite his wealth. He liked getting dirty. Suits would only make things harder.

"On your feet," Nathan said. "You know better than to sit in my presence." Nathaniel did, but Nathalia stayed sitting. Nathaniel didn't dare look down at his sister, though his father did, that cruel smile on his face that Nathaniel had inherited.

"I thought I said to stand, Nathalia," Nathan said. Nathaniel could see Nathalia out of the corner of his eye. She looked up at their father and smiled. In all their years on the run, Nathaniel had never seen his sister smile like his father. But this smile she had now. This was almost scarier than Nathan's look. She meant it. She was going to kill Nathan if he didn't do it first. Even as wounded and injured as she was.

In the end, Lola forced Nathalia to her feet by dragging a blade up her back, though she still had that terrible look on her face. "Now that that's settled," Nathan said, looking between his children. "Hello Junior. Princess."


	58. LVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HANDS UP
> 
> 'I've thrown my hands up  
> I've already made my mind up  
> Never get down on my luck'

Neither child spoke, though Nathaniel's jaw worked. Nathan walked across the room and stood right in front of the two of them. Nathaniel stared at his father's top button, hoping that it would somehow save him from this situation. He knew it was a futile thing, though, and ended up just staring over his shoulder instead.

Nathan put his hand on his son's shoulder in what could have ben a reassuring gesture but wasn't. Nathaniel waited for the blow, but buckled when the burn on his cheek was punched. His father caught him but the throat as he fell. Nathalia tried to reach him as he fell, but Lola held her back with a knife to her throat.

"I said hello," Nathan said. Nathaniel scrambled to get his feet back on the floor. He didn't dare reach up and grab his father's hand. He knew what would happen if he did. Nathaniel opened his mouth to speak once he was standing again, but no words came out.

"Hello." Nathaniel managed at last.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you."

Nathaniel dragged his gaze to his father's face and looked into the identical blue eyes they shared. He didn't dare look at his father's hair. It would make too many similarities, and Nathaniel wouldn't know how to deal with that.

Then Nathan turned to Nathalia, still being held back by Lola. "And I thought years of living with the Moriyamas would have taught you some manners." He leaned in. "I said hello." Nathalia didn't speak, only opened her mouth and spat in Nathan's face. Nathaniel knew that was a one way ticket to a death wish, but didn't try to help his sister. He'd be punished quickly for that.

"My children," Nathan said, unfazed by Nathalia's outburst and already wiping off the spit with a towel his right hand man, DiMaccio, gave him. "My greatest disappointment in life. Where is my second?"

"Mom is dead," Nathaniel said. "You killed her. Don't you remember?"

"I would remember," Nathan looked at Nathaniel, who tried not to look away again. Nathalia was finally released and rubbed her neck as she watched Lola move away from her, a glare on her face. "I would have savoured the memory while counting down the days to finding you again."

"Well your bitch gave him that burn trying to get that information out of him." Nathalia said. Nathan turned. Nathaniel saw what his sister was trying to do. She was getting the attention on her so that Nathaniel may have a chance at escaping or at least dying last. Nathaniel decided two could play at that game.

"You broke her," Nathaniel said, getting his father to play a game of tennis with his head. "She only got as far as the California border." Nathalia stared at her brother, who wouldn't look at her.

"That's where we split up." Nathalia said. "Because you hurt me too, don't you remember at least that? Because I sure don't. I don't remember anything of my childhood because of how much you damaged me."

"Maybe that was a good thing," Nathan said. "It was about time for you to start over again."

"The places I lived were horrible," Nathalia said. "But I suppose we're getting off track, right?"

Nathan stood taller. "Yes, I suppose we are." he paused, looking Nathalia over. Then he turned to Nathaniel again and grabbed his face in a hand. "Who told you hiding in plain sight was a viable option? You had to know I would find you eventually."

"And you," Nathan turned to Nathalia, who was clenching and unclenching her fists at her side. He didn't let go of Nathaniel's face, instead forcing him to look as well. "You may be Moriyama property, which is why Lola didn't burn that disgusting number off your face, but they handed you back to me. They want me to kill you because you are beginning to be a problem for them. At first, it was just supposed to be your brother here," Nathan squeezed his son's jaw tightly and Nathaniel saw Nathalia do the same on her own accord. "All those years ago. But now I'm to kill you both, and I will relish in every second that I rip your limbs from your bodies."

"You're sick," Nathalia said at last.

"Fuck you," Nathaniel said once his father finally let go of his jaw. Nathan held his hand out and DiMaccio stepped forward. In one hand, he held Nathan's old and dull axe, and in the other was the cleaver that he was famous for. The Butcher of Baltimore was called the butcher for a reason.

⥎  
⥐

Nathalia's breath hitched in her throat. She wouldn't show her hesitation, however, and forced herself to keep breathing as normally as she could. The sight of the cleaver somehow made the tattoo on her shoulder blade feel as if it were burning. She couldn't be sure if Nathan had ever used the weapon on her, but the cleaver seemed as familiar as her own reflection. She'd definitely seen it used on others, even if it wasn't herself.

Nathan turned to DiMaccio to look at his weapons. To choose which one he was going to use to kill his children. Nathaniel saw the chance to escape and took it. He started running for the exit, but Lola anticipated his actions and moved after him. Nathalia was frozen in her spot, unable to move from fear of being shot down. Lola jumped on Nathaniel and held him down, stopping him from running. She didn't have much of a grip on him, but she only had to hold on to Nathaniel until DiMaccio could hand a weapon to Nathan and go after Nathaniel himself.

DiMaccio picked Nathaniel up off the ground and carried him back into the room, unfazed by the punches that Nathaniel was throwing at him. Lola stepped back, pushing her hair back into place. DiMaccio threw Nathaniel into a wall and he fell to the floor, having had the breath knocked out of him. That's what broke Nathalia out of her trance. She moved forward with intent to kill.


	59. LVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MONSTER
> 
> 'But what if I, what if I trip?  
> What if I, what if I fall?  
> Then am I the monster?  
> Just let me know  
> And what if I, what if I sin?  
> And what if I, what if I break?  
> Then am I the monster?   
> Just let me know'

She strode across the room, hit Lola with a few punches until she was stumbling backward clutching what was probably a broken nose, and took a craft knife out of her boot. She lunged forward and stabbed DiMaccio in the side, breaking off the part of the knife that was inside him, and going at him again. He groaned in pain. Nathalia got in a few good hits, breaking off the excess each time, before she was pulled back.

Lola's hands felt like they were trying to squeeze the life out of Nathalia, but she had enough training of her own. Lola herself had trained Nathalia. She couldn't remember any of the lessons, just that they'd happened. And that she remembered everything she learnt in them.

Nathalia saw her father go after Nathaniel, and tried to scream, but the knife Lola had put to her throat earlier was back and cut a shallow line, causing a small bubble of blood to show up on the outside of her skin. She gasped at the quick pain and put her hand to her neck, as if she was going to bleed out right then and there. Nathalia wiped the blood off and looked at her hand. There wasn't even that much.

There was apparently enough of a distraction, however, for Lola to kick the back of Nathalia's knee and force her to the floor. She put her hand down to catch herself, but that was a mistake. She didn't dare yell in pain, and instead bit her lip.

Nathan was still going after his son, who was now scrambling away on the floor. Nathaniel had terror and regret in his eyes, and he wouldn't take them off his father. Then something in him changed, and he got up and turned, heading for Lola. She was standing in front of Nathalia now, and got her gun and knife out, ready for the resistance. 

⥎  
⥐

Nathaniel dodged the knife and ducked from the gun, though he knew she wouldn't shoot. She came at him, knife ready for another attack, but Nathaniel dodged again and punched her throat. Lola choked, but Nathaniel barely heard it through the crackling in his brain. Every bone and muscle in his hand and the rest of his body disagreed strongly with his actions, and he fought to stay upright. 

Lola yelled out in pain again and fell to her knees. Nathaniel looked and saw his sister pulling a knife out of Lola's calf. There was no blood on it, though, and that's when he realised it was a craft knife, designed to snap off pieces on the end when they had gone dull. Nathalia had found a different, more violent use for the tool, however, and Nathaniel almost smiled. It must have been what she'd gone at DiMaccio with as well, because he seemed to be limping and trying to grab things out of his back.

Nathaniel turned and lunged for the door. Lola, despite being injured, grabbed his hair. He didn't care how much hair he lost. Nathaniel wouldn't let go of the door knob.

"Stop," Nathan's voice said. Nathaniel turned, knowing it wasn't good when Lola did the same. His breath caught in his throat at the sight.

Nathan had Nathalia's hair in his fist, forcing her head back. He was holding his cleaver up to her neck, and she looked like she was crying. Nathaniel knew she wasn't, though. It didn't matter how long she'd been away from all of this, or how much she remembered or didn't remember. Nathaniel knew she remembered the promise she made him all those years ago; don't cry. In the face of danger? don't cry. In pain? don't cry. Just lost everything and have nothing left to live for? don't cry. In this moment, she wouldn't forget it. She wouldn't even dare.

"You want her to live?" Nathan said. "Then stop moving. Stop trying to run away. You can't. It's over, Nathaniel. It was always meant to happen this way. I'm going to kill you. And then I'm going to kill your sister, because if I don't then she'll run to the cops, and probably the FBI as well. And I can't have that."

Nathan threw Nathalia to the side, where DiMaccio caught her and held her down. Then he went after Nathaniel who Lola was holding down. He easily got out of her grip, however, and scrambled backwards. His father pinned him down, and all hope left Nathaniel's chest. Nathan pressed his cleaver to Nathaniel's throat, and called over his shoulder for DiMaccio to cuff Nathalia to the sink and hand him his axe.

"Maybe we'll do both," Nathan said as if he were discussing the weather. "If we do it right, the two of you might last all night." He was carving shallow patterns into Nathaniel's face with his cleaver, while holding him down with the axe. "Lola," Nathan said, and the woman immediately appeared at his side. She wasn't smiling, and was limping from the wound Nathalia had given her.

"Would you like the pleasure of crippling him?" Nathan asked.

"No," Nathaniel said against the blade at his neck. He felt fear crawling its way up his throat until he felt like he was going to throw up. Nathaniel kicked his legs away from where she was crouching out of his sight. Nathan tolerated it until Nathaniel accidentally put his hands on him. Then he lay his cleaver on the bridge of his nose.

"If you do not sit the fuck still I will gouge your eyes out." he said. Nathaniel froze. He too had made a deal to his sister. While she had promised she would never cry, Nathaniel had told Nathalia that he would never beg. So he kept his mouth shut while he trembled, though he desperately wanted to cry out.

"Can I?" Lola asked.

"We'll slit your ankles, then your knees," Nathan said, looking into his son's eyes. "And if you try to crawl away I will take your arms from you too. Do you understand?"

DiMaccio was back with a blowtorch which he put beside Nathan. Nathaniel wanted to scream, but he saw that as a sort of begging, and he thought that if he started now, that he wouldn't be able to stop himself. Instead, he turned his head to where his sister was sitting, watching it all happen. Nathalia had tears in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. Not even as she watched her brother being torn apart and killed, knowing the same would happen to her. 

The eye contact made Nathalia sit up straighter and she took a deep breath across the room and started yanking her wrists away from the handcuffs keeping her down. Her actions got DiMaccio's attention, and he walked across the room to her. Nathaniel's attention turned back in the direction of his father when the cellar door slammed open. Nathaniel was never so happy to see the police.


	60. LIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KISSES OF FIRE
> 
> 'Kisses of fire, burning, burning  
> I'm at the point of no returning  
> Kisses of fire, sweet devotions  
> Caught in a landslide of emotions'

The bullets popped into the room as quickly as the people did. Lola, closest to the door, got hit first, falling to the floor as her body was riddled with bullets. Nathalia shied away from the bullets, afraid that she would get hit. DiMaccio pulled Nathan away to safety, though Nathalia wasn't quite sure anyone was safe down in this basement.

Guards rushed down the concrete steps, and Nathalia figured that they were her father's, not the surprise saviours. Nathalia was watching as someone broke free and grabbed Nathaniel, pulling him away from Nathan. Nathaniel said something to the man, who looking in Nathalia's direction and started pulling her brother over to her.

She put her leg out for him and pulled Nathaniel closer to her, then the two were abandoned by the man. Nathalia, despite having her wrists bound, was able to reach into her pocket, where her real knife had been stashed. She pulled it out and handed it to Nathaniel, who was slowly pulling himself up next to her. He took the knife and worked it into the lock of the handcuffs. It was hard to concentrate on anything while bullets were being fired, but Nathaniel managed to get Nathalia's hands free. 

"Thanks," she mumbled, rubbing her raw wrists, and Nathalia knew he'd heard her, even though Nathaniel hadn't said anything as he handed back the knife. They huddled in close together to avoid being shot at, and when the bullets eventually stopped firing, Nathalia slowly pulled away from her brother.

Nathan was kneeling in the middle of the room and had four guns aimed at his head. He tried getting to his feet, but someone knocked him back down with the but of a rifle. One of the men guarding the door whistled down the tunnel and footsteps echoed into the corridor.

A man stepped into the room, and Nathalia had no idea who he was, though it was clear she should have by the way Nathaniel stopped breathing for a moment. "Who is that," she whispered to him. Nathaniel didn't answer, just kept watching the man as he took out his gun and aimed it Nathan's head. Something in Nathalia's chest went heavy. A woman stopped him from shooting, however, and jerked her head in the direction of Nathalia and Nathaniel.

He turned his head and his eyes went wide. "Bloody hell," he said. "Nathaniel? And this must be your sister. It's nice to finally meet you Nathalia, though I wish it were under better circumstances."

"Who are you?" Nathalia asked. The man, who'd walked over to them, looked slightly surprised. "Sorry, I don't have many memories," she elaborated. The man nodded in understanding, and kept his gun trained on Nathan while he explained. 

"I'm Stuart Hatford, your mother's brother," he said. "Your uncle. Mary said they were going back for you, but I never knew how much you resembled her." then Stuart turned on Nathaniel. "Where is Mary?"

Nathaniel only shook his head. All hope left Stuart's eyes. He nodded again. "Don't look. This will be over in a moment."

"Wait," Nathalia spoke up. Stuart, who'd already turned around to finish Nathan off, turned back, confusion all over his face. "I want to do it." She stood, shakily, to her feet.

"Nathalia," Stuart said calmly, though it was clear he was losing patience. "That's not a good idea." Nathalia sighed and picked up the gun Lola had dropped on the floor on her way to Nathaniel. 

"I want to do it." she said again. Stuart sighed and eventually nodded, but handed her his own gun. She had no idea what she was doing, but hoped that whatever happened, her father would die a horrible death.

Nathalia walked over to Nathan and the many people training guns on him. She unlocked the safety, as she knew how to do, and aimed it at his heart. Nathan smiled horrifically.

"I gave you two middle names," he said. Nathalia was content to listen to him. Nothing he could say would change her opinion on him or make her turn on these people who'd rescued her from him. "Mary Anne. Mary, after your mother, and Anne to make it sound like Maryland. You'd always come back here. To Maryland. Your home. And it would be where you would die."

"Well I guess you were wrong," Nathalia said and pulled the trigger, not even flinching but feeling pain in her hand where the backlash of the gun had hurt her cuts and burns. Looking at Nathan, as he hit the floor, Nathalia felt nothing for him. No regret. No pain. No anger. Nothing. And she couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not, but she didn't care. 

⥎  
⥐

"Tell me what the fuck happened, Kevin Day, or I swear to the God I don't believe in that I will kill you." Andrew said. He had been pacing the bus the whole drive, and now he was getting even more antsy than he had been before. He turned on Kevin and pointed a finger in his face, as if he were about to say something. Then he just full on attacked him, grabbing at his neck and pushing him to the ground.

Renee stood up and pushed to Andrew, touching his shoulder cautiously. She didn't know what had set him off. Didn't know why he'd attacked Kevin, of all people. But Renee, along with Matt and Nicky, pulled Andrew off of Kevin. He still looked ready to kill, but a steady look from Renee told her he wouldn't attack anyone again. 

There were bruises around Kevin's neck that he was rubbing and frowning at, and Abby rushed to the back of the bus to give him some ice. He accepted it and sat down in the back seat. Kevin sighed and leaned his head on the wall behind him.

"First, you have to understand their past," Kevin said. Everyone except Andrew sat, looking at Kevin intently as if he were going to tell them a story like Goldilocks ant the Three Bears that had a moral and a happy ending. Renee was willing to listen, but didn't know how many of her teammates would do the same without hearing it all the way through and not shouting questions Kevin may not be able to answer.

"Neil and Thalia's father was the Butcher of Baltimore," Kevin started. Renee had heard that name before, though she could tell most others hadn't. "Well. Not was, is. He's still alive, and I'm guessing by this attack that he's out of prison. He was in one in Seattle for two years, and I don't know how he got out, but I'm sure it wasn't exactly legal."

"So their father's a maniac who likes to cut people's heads off with a cleaver," Andrew said, clearly not happy. He was tapping a rhythm on his bicep and Renee could see he was annoyed. She was sure everyone could too, but Renee knew he was also worried. Worried for Neil and Thalia's safety.

"Pretty much," Kevin said. "But he's also Kengo Moriyama's right hand man." that got everyone going crazy. Andrew shut them up with a brandish of one of his blades. "So Thalia and Neil were supposed to be like me and Riko. When Neil was ten and Thalia was nine, they both had some sort of audition with the Master. Whichever one impressed him most over the weekend, with both skills and ableness to listen to criticism and apply it to their playing would get to stay."

"And the other one?" Renee asked. Kevin was silent but looked down.

"The other one would die by their father's hand." 

Everyone was silent until Andrew forced Kevin to keep going. "Which one won?"

"Thalia. Or as she was known back then, Nathalia." Kevin said. "That's her full name. Her actual name. And Neil's is Nathaniel. They're named after their father."

"Nathan." Andrew said. Kevin looked shocked before nodding. The whole team wondered how Andrew had gotten that information, but Renee knew who'd told him.

"Yes. Their mother, Mary, knew that Neil was going to be killed off, and took him on the run between the first and second days." Kevin continued. "So Tetsuji took Thalia in anyway, like he was going to do in the first place, and she lived with us in the nest for three years."

"Then what happened?" Dan asked, curious now.

"They came back for her, and Neil's demands." Kevin said. "I don't actually know why. Or how they got her out. But we were told she'd killed herself. I think she was the only person Riko ever cared about. Jean arrived the next day and Riko took his anger and emotions out on both of us for weeks."

Everyone was silent, taking in the information and formulating questions they had. "And they've been on the run ever since?" Renee finally asked. Kevin sighed and shrugged. 

"As far as I know, yes," he said, looking to Renee. "But Thalia was in foster care for the past year until she joined us." 

Andrew seemed to have the answers he'd been looking for and kicked Kevin out of the back seat so he could sit and look out the window. Renee wanted to comfort him. Tell him that Neil and Thalia would be fine. But she couldn't. Because she didn't know if that was true, and she didn't want to give Andrew any false hope. So all Renee could do was pray. And she prayed for the rest of the bus ride to Baltimore that her teammates and family would be alright.


	61. LX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SAFE AND SOUND
> 
> 'I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go  
> When all those shadows almost killed your light  
> I remember you said don't leave me here alone  
> But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight'

Nathalia woke up in a hospital bed, only vaguely remembering what had happened after she shot her father in the heart. It had been a perfect shot, killing him instantly. Nathalia had clutched the gun in her hand afterwards so tightly that Stuart had to forcibly remove it from her grip.

Two FBI agents sat at her bedside, filling out paperwork. As soon as Nathalia opened her eyes and looked around, the men watched her with intent, as if she were about to shoot their heads off their bodies. If Nathalia had a gun, she would consider it, but her wrists, despite already being bloody and ruined, were attached to the bed she was sleeping on. They weren't handcuffs, thankfully, but they weren't exactly comfortable. 

"Nathalia, hello," one of the men said. "I'm special agent Sykes, and this is special agent Black. We're going to be your handlers."

"Handlers?" Nathalia asked in a deadpan voice. 

She'd given up being Thalia in order to survive the night of horrors, but now that she had, she knew she had to stop considering herself that person. That girl who'd done anything her father had demanded of her. Nathalia Wesninski had died last night with her father. Thalia Josten lived on.

"Yes. We'll be moving you to one of our offices to ask you more questions as soon as you're released," Sykes said. "But don't think you have to wait until then to talk to us."

"Well, then it would probably be best if I told you now that I won't say anything to you and you'll have less luck with my brother." Thalia said. "Where is he, by the way? And where is my team?"

"Nathaniel is next door, and the Ravens aren't being included in this." Black said. Thalia shook her head.

"I meant the Foxes." Thalia said. "They're here, right? They've got to be."

"Well I'm sorry, but they've probably already left," Black said. Thalia laughed. "What's so funny, Nathalia?"

"Don't call me that," she said, a harsh smile on her face that she knew was some sort of deviation of her father's. "And do not call my brother Nathaniel. And Kevin won't leave without me, and the Foxes can't leave without Kevin." Thalia leaned forward as far as she could in her bed. "So I'll ask you once more. Where are the Foxes?"

The agents didn't let her see any of the team and she didn't tell them anything. Fair is fair. Thalia knew she was wearing them down. Getting under their skin. She didn't care. She knew she had to do it if she was ever going to see the Foxes or Neil again. 

"Look, if you cooperate with us, we can put you and your brother in the Witness Protection Programme and let you out of all charges. That includes fake identification, theft, breaking into cars and many more things." Sykes said. It was clear he was taking the lead in this situation. "Or if you don't, we can let you rot in a cell for the rest of your life."

Thalia put her head down on the pillow and fell asleep quickly, though it was a light sleep because her back wasn't against a wall and she wasn't comfortable around these men. For good reason. They had the power to keep Thalia away from anything and anyone she had ever held close. 

"I want to see my teammates," was all Thalia would ever say to them. 

"Listen," Sykes said. "I've just spoken to agent Browning, who's looking after your brother. He's not cooperating either," Thalia made a gesture as if to say 'I told you so' and Sykes ignored her, continuing. "He also wants to see the Foxes. Remember, they've just found out everything about you and what you are. Who you are. If they still want to see you, well, I'll be very impressed."

"They're Foxes," Thalia said. "They'll get over it. They always do." she didn't say anything else, drilling her words into her own mind. Sykes left again and spoke to someone, likely Browning again, and returned shortly after, seemingly angry. He wrote something on Black's notepad and sat back down.

⥎  
⥐

"You have twenty minutes or until they throw you out of their lives, whichever comes first." Browning said with a finger in Nathaniel's face. "Then you are coming with us and you are going to tell us everything we want to know. Do I make myself clear?"

"They?" Nathaniel asked, unsure that he'd heart correctly. "They're here? I don't see the bus."

"I don't want the press seeing it here and putting it together yet, so I had your coach move it. I said are we clear?"

"Clear." Nathaniel said, pulling the hood over his face. "What about my sister? Get out."

"Your winning personality makes me rethink this entire thing." Browning said, though he got out of the car. "She'll be there too."

Nathaniel was led up metal stairs to the second floor of the motel where a guard was waiting outside a door. 

"I don't like it."

"Noted. Watch him a moment, Kurt." Browning said before opening the door and clapping to get everyone's attention. "Listen up people. You've got twenty minutes. Let's keep this orderly and have only one person at a time."

As soon as Nathaniel stepped into the doorway, he heard Dan's voice. "Twenty minutes? You've got to be joking. Why do - oh my god," she broke off when Nathaniel stepped into the room. "Oh my god Neil, are you okay?" her voice wasn't full of anger or fear, but worry. She was worried about him. They all were.

He looked around the room for one person, and when he found that he wasn't there, he spoke up. "Where's,"

There was a crash behind Nathaniel and he turned, just in time to see Andrew barging into the room, Wymack following him. Kurt tried to stop them, but Wymack shoved him out of the way. Nathaniel recognised the handcuffs linking the two together, and then saw Browning reach for his gun in reaction to the violent entrance.

Nathaniel reached for the gun and pointed it down. He only meant to stop Browning from pointing the gun at Andrew, but he felt a searing pain go up his arms and he dropped to the floor. He felt Andrew's hand on the back of his neck trying to calm him down. Nathaniel cradled his broken hands in his lap, expecting the gauze to turn red from split cuts, but it stayed white and clean.

Andrew knelt in front of Nathaniel, expression calm. Nathaniel let him look when Andrew grabbed his chin because it let him look at Andrew's face as well. There were dark bruises lining his face, and a nasty one on his cheekbone beneath his right eye. "They could have blinded you," he said. "All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?"

Andrew started peeling off the tape and gauze from Nathaniel's face. He paused when he got to the burns around his left eye. Andrew took Nathaniel's hood away from his face, and Wymack was the only other one who could see his face. "Christ, Neil," he said, telling Nathaniel that the burns were as bad as they felt.

"I'm sorry," Nathaniel said. Andrew brought his fist back, but Nathaniel knew he wouldn't make the punch.

"Say it again and I will kill you,"

"This is the last time I'm going to say it to you," Kurt said from outside the door. "If you don't stow that attitude -"

"You'll what, asshole?" Nathaniel said.

"The same goes for you Nathaniel," Browning said. "That's your second strike. A third misstep and this," he gestured to the room. "Is over."

"God, wouldn't that be awful," a new voice said. "This room reeks of sweat and icepacks. What, did you get into a riot or something?"

"Lia?" Kevin asked, unsure.

"The one and only."


	62. LXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> APRIL SUN IN CUBA
> 
> 'So don't try and hold me back  
> Ain't nothin' you can say  
> Snake eyes on the paradise  
> And we got to go today'

Thalia was surprised as anyone that they'd allowed her to actually see the Foxes, but she knew it was only for goodbyes. At least they'd all be there together. One last time. Her heart was swelling at the thought of seeing Kevin again, and when she did, he was bruised and tired. Thalia gave her entrance, and his eyes lit up.

"Lia?" he asked, almost as if he didn't believe what he were seeing. Thalia didn't blame him. She'd been away for months and Kevin had probably imagined a moment similar to this one many times over in his head. 

"Yeah, baby," Thalia said, a soft smile on her aching face "It's me. I'm back." she knew that it would break Kevin's heart even more when she told him she had to leave. Kevin ran forward and hugged her tightly. It pained her and the small noise Thalia made was enough for Kevin to draw back. His eyes were wide, obviously terrified of having hurt her.

"Are you alright?" Kevin asked frantically. Everything hurt. Thalia didn't know how she'd survived last night, but she had and she wasn't exactly better off for it. Though seeing all the people she loved in the same room was definitely something to look forward to.

"Yes, my love," Thalia said in quiet French. She looked over to Neil, who was sitting in front of Andrew on the floor. Andrew was carefully putting the bandages back on her brother's face. "Andrew," she said. He didn't look up. "Andrew, look at me." eventually he did. "I'm sorry," she said. Nobody else in the room would have known what it meant, but she'd promised that she'd look after Kevin, along with Neil, and both of them had run off to Castle Evermore. Neil had returned, but Thalia hadn't, and a freshly non-medicated-Andrew had to assume the worst. 

He only nodded his head and turned back to a silent conversation with Neil. Thalia knew what her brother's face looked like. She didn't need to see the horrors again. Thalia took her hood off and looked across the team. Eventually her eyes came to rest on Wymack. "Uncuff him," Thalia said to Kurt, the guard standing by the door. He looked to Browning, who Thalia was meeting for the first time. Browning gestured to Kurt, who looked as if he was going to blow up, and moved to uncuff Wymack and Andrew.

Thalia slipped her hand very carefully into Kevin's and walked back over to the bed he had been sitting on. She looked at the bruises on his neck and frowned. "Who did this?"

"Andrew," Aaron responded. Thalia whipped her head around, but he wasn't watching her. "He wanted to get the answers about you and Neil out of Kevin. He was the only one who knew."

"And now that you know," Thalia rounded on Aaron, though she was really asking the whole team. "What do you think of us now that you know our past? Probably know it better than I do?" Aaron was silent. 

"It doesn't change my opinion of you," Dan spoke. Thalia turned her whole body, because just the neck would be too painful. "How did you fare better off than Neil?" she asked. Thalia sighed and slowly rolled back the sleeves of the hoodie she was wearing, showing off the bandages curling all the way up her arms.

"I didn't." she said. "Just because I don't have burns on my face covering a mob tattoo doesn't mean I got off any better than my brother." Thalia looked at the whole team. "I'm assuming Kevin told you that bit."

"Actually, Neil did." Allison spoke. Thalia looked to Neil's back, and when he turned eventually, she wasn't as shocked as everyone else in the room. Abby tried moving towards him but Andrew told her not to. Many Foxes gasped, and Kevin's hand flew to his own number protectively. "Oh my god, what did that?"

"A dashboard lighter," Neil said. Nicky made a gagging noise, as if he were going to throw up. Thalia wasn't sure he wouldn't. She saw a bucket on the end of the bed and kicked it over to him. Nicky picked it up and threw his stomach contents into the bucket. Even Aaron looked pained.

"Why didn't they do that to you?" Kevin asked. Thalia looked up at him and then to the floor.

"Because I wasn't my father's property," she said in French, knowing the agents would likely hear it and report back to their superiors. Browning looked annoyed and Sykes seemed mad, but Thalia didn't care. "I wasn't his to mark. Or to destroy a mark." Thalia gestured to her face. She'd tell the rest of the Foxes if she went back with them to the Foxhole Court, or Kevin could just tell them, knowing she probably wouldn't be allowed to go. The WPP was the only place Thalia was going after the interrogation.

"Does he know?" Thalia asked Kevin quietly, nodding to Wymack who was talking to Abby. Kevin knew exactly what she was talking about and sighed, shaking his head. "It's okay. You have three years, but it would be better sooner than later."

"I know," Kevin said. "I just don't know how to do it."

"Do you want me to be there?" Thalia asked, taking his hand. Kevin shook his head. "Something you need to do on your own?" he nodded. Thalia did too. "I understand. I love you, Kevin." he smiled.

"I'm just glad you're back." 

"Me too." she said, knowing she'd be leaving anytime now. Thalia was taking all of her time with Kevin, not bothering to share it with the others. She owed him most, after leaving him at Christmas. "I really am sorry about leaving. I thought I needed to do it. And I did. I know you probably won't understand for a long time, if ever, and that's okay. But I did the right thing, Kevin. I did what was right for everyone."

"Everyone except you." he said quietly. Thalia didn't say anything more and just lay her head on his shoulder. "I like the hair, by the way." Thalia huffed a laugh and shook her head against Kevin's shoulder. She was going to miss him so much.


	63. LXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 NIGHTS
> 
> 'Three nights at the motel  
> Under streetlights in the city of palms  
> Call me what you want, when you want, if you want  
> And you can call me names if you call me up'

"Was it easy?" Andrew asked in German. He was talking to Neil, but Thalia was listening to their quiet conversation on the floor from Kevin's side. He wouldn't let go of her. Wouldn't let her leave his side. She didn't blame him, the last time she had, she'd flown to West Virginia and hadn't come back. "Kevin told us who he worked for."

They were talking about the execution of Nathan Wesninski, and Neil had told Andrew Stuart had done the deed. But every time Thalia closed her eyes she saw her father throw up blood and fall to the floor. Every time she fell asleep, she heard him telling her how he named her to make her come back. "I did it," she said in German, interrupting their conversation. Andrew looked away from Neil's eyes, up to Thalia's, a questioning look on his face. "I killed him. Not Stuart Hatford. It was me." she was glad the agents didn't know what she was saying, because it was highly incriminating.

Neil turned around to look at her, a startled expression gracing his burned and slashed face. It looked painful, and Thalia wouldn't doubt that it was. "You? You killed your father?" Andrew said. Thalia nodded slowly. There was something like respect in Andrew's eyes. "Killing someone is never easy."

"Well I guess you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" Aaron butt in. Nobody said anything for a few seconds, and Neil turned back to Andrew, but his words were loud enough for Thalia to hear too.

"My uncle said he was going to them to try and negotiate a ceasefire. I don't know if he's strong enough to bargain with them, but I'd like to think he wouldn't have risked it without real ground to stand on. Promise me no one's talked to the FBI about them." Neil told him.

"No one's said anything to them since they said we couldn't see you," Andrew said, flicking his eyes to Thalia's and back down to Neil.

"But why? I've done nothing but lie to them," Neil said. Thalia sat up straight, and Kevin stiffened. He didn't grab her tighter, knowing it would only hurt Thalia, but he didn't want her to leave. She wouldn't. Not yet. "I willingly put them all in danger so that I could play a little longer. They got hurt last night because of me. Why would they protect me?"

"Because you are a Fox," Thalia said. Neil looked back at her again. "You will always be a Fox, and Foxes look out for each other."

"And so are you," Andrew said to Thalia. "You may have left us, but it wasn't willingly. You're back now, and as long as you stay, we will continue to protect you."

"Andrew," Thalia started. She looked into Neil's eyes, which were as sad as she felt. He knew as well as she did that they'd have to tell them all sooner rather than later that they weren't going back with the Foxes. That they'd never see them again.

"They want to take us away," Neil said, still in German, to Andrew. "They want to enroll us in the Witness Protection Programme so our father's people can't find us. I don't want," Neil paused, sighing visibly. "If you tell me to leave, I'll go." Andrew was quiet a moment then jutted his chin towards Thalia.

"Are you going?" he asked. Thalia shook her head.

"I don't have a choice, Andrew."

"You're not going anywhere," he said, in English, for the whole room to hear. "You're staying with us. If they try to take you away they will lose."

"Take you away," Dan said. She was as confused as the rest of the room, and looked between Neil and Thalia. "To where?"

"Are we talking about 'away for some questioning' or 'away for good'?" Matt asked.

"Both." Thalia said. Kevin was sitting as straight as a wooden plank, and Thalia knew he objected to this plan as much as she did.

"You can't have them," Nicky said, standing up for his teammates. "They belong with us."

"When people find out that they're alive they will come for them," Browning said. He sounded like he was talking to a five year old about why they couldn't draw on the walls with crayons. "It isn't safe for Nathaniel and Nathalia here anymore, and it sure as hell isn't safe for you. It is better for everyone if they disappear. Separately."

"Do not call them that," Kevin hissed. Thalia knew he was getting angry on her behalf, mostly due to the names Browning called her and Neil, but Thalia didn't much mind that. It was the part about being separated from Neil, even if they were entered in the programme, that had her mad.

"What part of 'go to hell' do you need us to explain to you?" Allison said. Thalia had always respected Allison, especially by the way she didn't care what people thought of her.

"We're all legal adults here," Matt said. "We've made our decision. Unless they want to stay with you, you'd better bring Neil and Thalia back to us after you're done questioning them." he looked over to Thalia and gave a firm nod. She smiled sadly back. The two may have had their differences at the beginning, when Thalia had joined the Foxes. She'd called him out on being an ex-druggie, and he hadn't been happy, but it seemed he'd gotten over it.

"'Neil' and 'Thalia' aren't real people," Sykes said. "They're just covers that let them evade authorities. It's past time to let them go." Thalia raised her hand as if she were in class. "Yes, Nathalia." he sighed.

"Actually, my name is legally Thalia Warden." she said. "You should know that. I had to go through a court process and everything when they found me on that beach. So no, my name is not Nathalia Wesninski. And you can fuck off with that." then Thalia pointed at Neil. "And my brother here, you see him? Sure, he hasn't legally changed his name, but he is Neil Josten, and nothing you fuckers say will change that."

Everybody was quiet for a while, then Browning turned to Wymack. "Coach Wymack, talk some sense into your team." Wymack, with his arms crossed, turned to Neil.

"Neil," he said. "Talk to me. What do you want?" Neil was quiet for a few moments, then he looked up at Wymack.

"I want," he started. "I know I shouldn't stay, but I can't - I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose any of you. I don't want to be Nathaniel anymore. I want to be Neil as long as I can."

"Good," Wymack said, nodding. "Because I'd have a hard time trying to fit 'Wesninski' on a jersey." Thalia cracked a smile at that. She missed the Foxes easy humour, and Wymack's empty threats to make them do marathons. There were a lot of other things she missed about the Foxes, namely the people part of the team, but those were the things she came up with in that moment. Then Wymack turned to Thalia.

"Can I come back?" she asked. Wymack's eyes lit up. He knew she'd say that. Knew she hadn't wanted to join the Ravens in the first place. He didn't nod. Didn't say anything. But Thalia knew that was a yes. "But you might have to change my jersey name." Wymack looked confused and Neil looked concerned. "Warden just doesn't seem right. I mean, Neil is my brother, so why shouldn't we have the same surname?"

Thalia had used Neil's chosen surname exactly twice, and she didn't regret it. She genuinely wanted to change it, so that she had a closer connection to her brother. She knew it was probably a stupid thing, so she'd never said it out loud to anyone before. But Thalia had never been wanted. And finding out she had a real, blood-related brother, who wanted her. That was something Thalia wanted to hold onto for as long as she possibly could.

"We have to go," Sykes said, looking down at his watch. "Come on you two." That was when Kevin's grip around Thalia tightened and she groaned in pain. The Foxes looked in their direction, wondering what was wrong.

"Kevin," Thalia said, trying to calm him down. "I'm fine. I'll be with Neil, and I assume Andrew." Andrew gave a small nod when she looked in his direction. Thalia took Kevin's fingers and started carefully prying them out of her shirt. She turned to look at him and gently took Kevin's face in her hands. Thalia was much smaller than Kevin was, but sitting on his lap made her taller, and closer, to his face.

"Promise me you'll come back," he whispered in French. Thalia smiled sadly and kissed him on the nose. Kevin put his hands over hers and looked her in the eyes. "Promise me, Thalia. I can't bear to lose you again."

"I promise, my love." Thalia said quietly. It took a few more moments for Kevin to let her go, but then Thalia was following Neil and Andrew out of the motel room, hood over her face, walking down rusty metal steps. She got into the backseat of a car, while the boys were in the other car. Sykes turned in his seat to look at her. He had his lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed in thought. Thalia raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

"Why do they care for you?" he asked. Thalia was actually surprised by the question. Sykes had been nothing but relentless with questions since the two had met, but this seemed like genuine curiosity.

"Because I am a Fox." Thalia responded, like it was that simple. And maybe it was.


	64. LXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME
> 
> 'Where have you been hiding out lately, honey?  
> You can't dress trashy till you spend a lot of money  
> Everybody's talking about the new sound  
> Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me'

The interrogation was long, and Thalia found out information about her life she didn't know. Things like the fact that she was often travelling under the identity of a boy, and Neil under a girl's name. It was easier, Neil had said, for them to travel from country to country. Thalia learnt of her mother's death, and how Seattle was where their father had finally caught up to them. He'd been imprisoned, but had been released only days ago and sent back home to Baltimore. 

Neil and Andrew kept close together, and none of them told the agents who'd really killed Nathan Wesninski. They'd surely lock Thalia away forever. Kevin would be devastated, and that was why he could never know.

The name Hatford came up eventually, and Thalia didn't know much, but she understood from what little information Stuart had given that they were another big crime syndicate, though they operated in Britain.

They brought up the Witness Protection Programme twice on Sunday, and Neil and Thalia both refused each time. There was no way either of them were leaving the Foxes. Never again, and definitely not willingly. Thalia would never leave Kevin, especially, because she'd seen and heard how distraught he'd been when she'd both left for Evermore and then turned up again in Baltimore. He thought he'd never see her again, and Thalia wasn't willing to put either of them through that pain again.

Browning brought in some forms and spread them evenly between Thalia and Neil. She looked skeptically to Neil before down at the papers. When she saw what they were, Thalia's eyes widened. One was an official name change request. The second and third were for a passport and driver's license, and the final form was for a new social security card. 

"Shit," Thalia muttered. Most of the information was filled out already. They'd listened to her words the other day, writing Thalia Josten on the paper, instead of Warden. All Thalia had to do was sign the dotted line.

"Consider this a contract," Sykes said, making Thalia look up to where he was sitting opposite her. He looked slightly amused by her reaction, but sounded annoyed as always. "Once you sign this, we start the process to instate Neil and Thalia Josten as functioning and valid members of society. That means no more running and no more fake ID's. No more stealing cars or robbing convenience stores." Sykes looked directly at Thalia with that last bit. She shrugged, still stunned by the forms laid out in front of her. 

"You are going to be Neil and Thalia from now until death," Browning continued. "You are not allowed to change your mind. You so much as order a latte under a pseudonym and we are going to have a problem."

"I don't even like lattes, so I think we're good on that front," Thalia said, looking into Browning's eyes so he knew she was doing this on purpose. He ground his jaw, clearly wanting to leave the room.

"Pen," Neil said, holding out his hand. "I get it. Just give me a pen so I can sign it."

"Yeah, count me in on that one." Thalia reached across the desk and took Sykes pen off his paper. She clicked it and wrote her signature on the dotted lines on all four pieces of paper, then handed it to Sykes. 

"We're done here," Browning said, handing Neil's file to someone else. Sykes did the same. He stood. "If we think of anything else, we'll let you know."

"Oh I'm sure you will," Thalia said, standing up. She felt slightly dizzy from sitting for a long time and her wounds hurt. "But I'm just so sad to see you both go," she added.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing each other soon, Thalia." Sykes said. Thalia smiled and blew a sarcastic kiss his way before turning after Neil and Andrew to the door. "Stetson will give you a ride back."

⥎  
⥐

When they returned, Stetson lead Andrew and Neil to a room, and told Thalia to follow him to another. There, Kevin was sitting on a bed and Wymack was standing in front of him. They'd clearly been talking, but Kevin turned his head and stood as soon as he saw Thalia. Thalia looked between the two men and sent Kevin a quick questioning look she hoped he would understand. Kevin shook his head ever so slightly and Thalia sighed.

"You giving me a ride to the bus?" Wymack asked Stetson, who nodded. "I'll be back soon," Wymack added as he passed Thalia. "Let me know if we're staying or going." She nodded and made her way into the room. Kevin stood awkwardly by the bed, as if expecting Thalia to say she were about to die. 

"Kevin," Thalia whispered. He looked into her eyes and Thalia could see, even from across the room that Kevin had been crying. There were visible bags under his eyes and Thalia so desperately wanted to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay. And for the most part, it would be. So that's what she did.

Thalia made her way across the room and walked straight into Kevin's arms. He held her loosely, careful of her injuries. But Thalia wanted him to hold her so tight that she could feel her stitches pop. She put her arms around Kevin and closed her eyes, breathing in the scent she so longed for over the past few months. 

"You need to promise you'll never leave me like that," Kevin whispered against her hair. "Never again."

"I promise, Kevin." Thalia whispered back. She squeezed her eyes tighter and willed the tears threatening to spill to hold in place. "I, Thalia Josten, promise you, Kevin Day, that I will never leave you again." she said when she pulled back. Kevin gave her a ghost of a smile. Thalia reached up and wiped the tears from under his eyes. "Alright. Abby should be here soon to patch me up, so hold me while we wait."


	65. LXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MIDNIGHT MEMORIES
> 
> 'Five foot something with the skinny jeans  
> Don't look back, baby, follow me  
> I don't know where I'm going but I'm finding my way  
> Same old shit but a different day'

When the Foxes arrived back at campus, Thalia was so relieved she actually stepped out of the bus and collapsed onto the concrete of the parking lot. Thalia pressed her eyelids together and words arose in her mind. 'I promise never to cry'. She held that promise in the front of her mind and willed the tears away. 

What seemed like hours later, a firm but gentle hand lifted Thalia to her feet. Kevin led her inside with the rest of the team. They all seated themselves on sofas and the other girls handed out drinks. Wymack went around and gave everyone snacks he'd collected. Kevin got a doughnut for Thalia, knowing how much she loved the food, even though Kevin's brain was wired to eat only healthy foods. She thanked him and took a bite of the delicious snack.

Kevin leaned over Thalia and looked at Neil. "We need to talk about this," he said in a low and urgent tone that Thalia guessed must have been French because none of the other Foxes seemed to understand what he'd said. 

"We will."

"This," Kevin said more urgently, pointing at where his number two tattoo was. Thalia didn't have to look to know Neil's had been destroyed. She'd been there when it happened. When Romero handed his sister the dashboard lighter that ruined Neil's face.

"Now now," Neil said. "Later."

Thalia put a patient hand over Kevin's and gave him a look that made him back down. When Wymack finally sat down, Neil and Thalia became the center of attention. Thalia shifted uncomfortably and avoided everyone's eyes. She hoped Neil would get the point and do the speaking.

"I don't know where to start," he said. Kevin rubbed careful circles on the back of Thalia's destroyed palm. She watched his fingers do it to keep her eyes preoccupied.

"The beginning?" Dan offered.

The Foxes already knew Thalia didn't have many memories of her time on the run with Neil, or any of her childhood in general, but what she could offer, they took in like hoarders. Thalia found it interesting, how after being away for months, the Foxes still cared for her wellbeing. No one had ever been that interested in her life before. No one had cared about what she had to say. 

"You just left her behind?" Allison had asked. She looked concerned for Thalia and slightly annoyed at Neil, but under all that, Thalia could see understanding and sympathy. She didn't know much about their childhood situation, but Allison at least knew what it was like to be abandoned by family.

"It wasn't my idea," Neil said. Thalia squeezed his knee, showing she understood. She'd understood since the moment he told her about it all. "But when we went back for her, Thalia already thought we were dead."

They didn't tell the Foxes much about their time on the run, because it wasn't pretty most of the time. Neil told them about how he hadn't known their father's relationship with the Moriyamas until Riko told them both at the fall banquet and how Kengo had been the Butcher's superior.

Silence followed the end of the explanation, and Thalia found herself bobbing her knee up and down impatiently. When people started asking questions, she left most of them to Neil, but added a few things when the question was directed at her.

"You said your uncle is negotiating a truce with Kengo. What if he can't?" Renee asked at the very end. Everyone looked at Neil hesitantly, even Thalia. 

"He'll kill us."

"You're not serious," Matt said, unbelieving. Thalia sighed and shook her head, lifting it.

"No, Neil's right." She said. "If Stuart can't arrange some sort of truce, Kengo will make someone kill Neil and I." 

"We're loose cards," Neil added. "Dangerous on a good day, and unforgivable when Kengo is dying. The Moriyamas can't afford that in their empire when they're shifting that much power around." Thalia hummed in agreement.

"Yeah. Riko was acting more antsy these past few weeks, and Tetsuji was meaner on and off the court. It's because of the power shift. Kengo's health isn't good, and they're working on making Ichirou, Riko's older brother, the new leader of the whole Moriyama empire." Thalia said. The room was quiet once again, and she stood, leaving the room. Thalia couldn't deal with that much silence. She'd had silence after the pain for many months now, and many before that. It wasn't something she could deal with for much longer.

Thalia sat on the curb outside, listening to the birds in the trees and all other surrounding sounds. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it, bringing the stick to her lips. A few minutes later, Kevin emerged from the locker room and sat next to her. Thalia offered him a cigarette, but Kevin shook his head and sighed. 

"Neil wants me to tell the press who my father is. He thinks it'll eventually get the attention off the two of you." Kevin said. Thalia looked sideways at him and stubbed her cigarette out, knowing she needed to listen. Kevin put his head in his hands and Thalia put her hand on his back. "I know you want me to do it, too, but I don't know how or if I even can."

"You will," Thalia said. "When you're ready. Not because Neil wants you to. Not because I want you to. You'll tell him when you want to tell him, and you don't ever have to tell the press if you don't want to."

The rest of the team soon emerged and Thalia and Kevin stood. Renee stopped in front of them and put her arms carefully around Thalia. It was kind, but protective, and Thalia didn't know much about Renee's past, but she knew the other girl had been through shit and come out the other side stronger and a better person.

Andrew walked over to his car and popped the locks, getting in the driver's seat. The rest of his group followed, but Thalia stopped Neil by putting a hand out in front of him. Neil met her eyes and she shook her head with a frown on her face. "You can't force him to tell," was all she said, then she walked over to Allison's car, asking if she could ride with her and Renee. Allison nodded and Thalia got in the back of the car carefully.

Somehow everyone ended up in Neil and Matt's dorm. Thalia noticed with a start that all of her paintings were stacked against walls all over the place. She looked to Neil in a silent question and he looked sheepish when he replied. "They were going to throw them out. You weren't coming back. I couldn't lose this last piece of you." Thalia smiled and crossed the room, hugging her brother carefully. 

Matt and Aaron moved the sofa out of the way and the rest of the girls showed up with blankets a few minutes later. People went back and forth between rooms as they changed and claimed spots on the floor with their pillows. Thalia found herself back in her room more than once, and she eventually went into the bedroom where she'd slept for a few months before returning to the place she'd lived for a while when she was younger. 

The loft bed was just as she'd left it, and when she checked under her pillow, Thalia's prized possession was still where she'd left it. Her watch, the one Neil had said her mother had bought her as soon as they'd gotten her out of the nest, had stayed with Thalia throughout everything. No matter what happened, she had her watch. She didn't even really understand why it was so important to her. Maybe because she'd hoped it meant a simpler life, when she didn't have the burdens of Drake or foster care. It was just a watch. Thalia saw that now. But she still put it on and felt the cold metal against her wrist, knowing she was safe.

When she made her way back to the boys' room, Thalia lay down with Kevin in front of her and Renee behind her. She hadn't felt contentment in months, and now she knew she was home. She was a Fox, and Foxes stuck together, no matter what.


	66. LXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IRIS
> 
> 'And all I can taste is this moment  
> And all I can breathe is your life  
> And sooner or later, it's over  
> I just don't wanna miss you tonight'

When Thalia made her way to her art studio the day after she arrived back at campus, she didn't expect the girl working there, Lily, to smile and give her the keys. "We were told you came back. I'm glad you did, I loved your work." Thalia smiled and thanked her, taking the keys and walking down the familiar hallway. 

It was empty, of course. Thalia knew that. Neil had taken all her art back to his and Matt's dorm after he'd returned. She looked around. All her brushes and paints and everything else were still where she'd left it, though, and she was surprised they hadn't moved another student in yet, but supposed they wouldn't have until the start of the next school year. 

She pulled out her phone and dialed the number she'd given Neil in a letter when they'd been split up. It went to voicemail, which Thalia had suspected would happen - time differences and all - but she left a message; 'Hey, Jeremy, it's Thalia. I just wanted to make sure Jean was fitting in alright over there. Neil told me he got my message, and sent him over to you. I'm back at Palmetto, though I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone but Jean. Call me back, okay? I want to know how he's doing. Thanks.'

Thalia left the studio and headed back to the dorms. The team had arranged to have brunch together, and Thalia just missed her team. After brunch where Allison had arranged for the team to go the mountains for a week, Andrew drove to the dorms and he and Neil switched so Neil could drive when the others got out. Kevin got in the front seat and Thalia stayed in the back. 

Neil drove to the stadium where they'd meet with Abby for a checkup, and Kevin would talk to Wymack. Thalia knew some part of Kevin didn't want to tell the man he was his father, but she squeezed his hand in support, and Kevin gripped it back. Thalia felt a searing pain go up through her arm but didn't say anything as she blinked spots out of her eyes. Neil looked back at the two of them as he walked down the hall.

"Let me talk to him first. He won't want to talk to anyone after you're finished with him." Neil said to Kevin. Thalia kicked her foot out and hit him in the back of the calf. If hurt them both and Neil rubbed his leg with a frown on his face.

Thalia sat in the locker room with Kevin while Neil talked to Wymack and helped him prepare for the conversation he was about to have. "So what do you think you're going to say?" she asked. Kevin sighed and put his head in his hands. Thalia rubbed his back in support. "Okay let's practice. I'll be Wymack."

"Hey coach," Kevin said, looking up at Thalia.

"What's up, Kevin?" Thalia said, using her best impression of the coach.

"Uh, I just wanted to tell you something important."

"Well, what is it? I don't have all day." Thalia said. Before Kevin could give a reply, Neil walked out of the office and over to the two of them. He stood in front of Kevin, who stood to meet Neil's gaze. Neil shook his head.

"Don't do this to him." Neil said, surprising Thalia. He glanced at her once before heading for Abby's office which was open slightly. He closed the door after him and Kevin collapsed back onto the sofa with Thalia after the lock clicked. Neither of them said anything for a few moments.

"Kevin," Thalia said softly. "It's not too late to back out." he nodded and swallowed before standing and making his way down the hall to Wymack's open door.

Thalia waited in the locker room until Neil was finished with his checkup and then switched places with him. Thaila walked into Abby's office and sat on the bed, ready for her to check over her wounds.

⥎  
⥐ 

When they got back to Fox tower, Kevin had his arm on the windowsill of the car and his head in it, eyes closed. Thalia knew he just needed space, so she kissed his cheek and left him in the car. Neil turned back to talk to Kevin, but Thalia held the door to the tower open for him. Neil collected Nicky and the twins from their room and everyone gathered in the girls' room. Thalia went into the other room to pack her things, but heard Neil's voice through the thin walls.

"Coach is Kevin's dad." she tensed before springing into action. Thalia ran through the door and stopped at the sight of the entire team watching her and Neil stare each other down. 

"Abram, what the everloving fuck did you just say?" Thalia said, seething with rage. Neil could tell she was angry, and Thalia saw Andrew out of the corner of her eye, twirling a blade in his hands. It was a clear warning, but Thalia knew he wouldn't step in between her and Neil. This was their business, and it didn't matter how much they both meant to Andrew, he wouldn't stop them from sorting out their problems, however they saw fit.

"I told the team what they deserved to hear. Besides, he agreed to let me tell them." Neil said. Thaila ground her teeth together and stayed silent. "Now would you let them react like normal human beings or are you going to keep staring at me like I just burned your favourite painting?" Thalia huffed a sigh and disappeared back into the bedroom, shoulders set tenser than they ever had been.

As soon as she left the room, Thalia heard the team yelling at Neil. Nicky asking if he was being serious and Neil responding with a 'She taught coach exy.' Thalia rolled her eyes though she was still annoyed. Even if Kevin had agreed to let Neil tell the rest of the team, her brother could have at least told her he was going to do it first. Maybe then she wouldn't have reacted so badly.

Dan didn't react so well, asking how long Kevin had known and Neil saying a couple of years. Thalia was finally finished packing her things and joined the others, who looked at her and went silent. "How long have you known?" Dan asked.

"I was there when he found out." Thalia said eventually. "But obviously I lost memories. That was one of them. I only got it back a few months ago." Dan nodded slowly. 

"He should have said something when he ran away," Dan said. "He's been here a year and a half now. He had no right to keep something like this from coach for so long. Jesus, he didn't-" Dan's voice caught in her throat. "That's not right. It's not fair."

"Life's not fair, Dan," Thalia said, a sharp edge in her tone. "You should know that. The whole team should know that." she looked around at the team, who were all in different stages of shock. "Wymack knows that too." Thalia turned finally to Dan. "He told me parts of his backstory. I assume you know it all." Dan nodded hesitantly. "Then you'll know he wouldn't want to fuck up something as fragile and innocent as a child. As his child. I'm not saying what Kevin's mother did was the best idea she ever had, but Wymack would have stressed over every fucking day in Kevin's life if he'd known he was his son."

Thalia heard Andrew mutter 'Another brilliant Josten speech' but she didn't turn to look at him. Dan made a sound of hurt and pushed past Thalia to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Thalia looked at the ground, suddenly feeling shameful and guilty. Sure, she may have hurt Dan at the beginning, when she'd just joined the Foxes, but saying those things may well mean the end of a friendship with the captain.

"She'll never forgive him for this," Allison said, exchanging a tired look with Renee, who'd scooted over to fill Dan's place at Matt's side.

"She'll get over herself." Thalia said harshly and grabbed her things, heading downstairs, no matter how much it hurt her arms and threatened to pull her stitches.


	67. LXVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ISLAND IN THE SUN
> 
> 'When you're on a holiday  
> You can't find the words to say  
> All the things that come to you  
> And I want to feel it too'

"It'd be really uncomfortable for anyone to sit on the floor of a car for hours on end," Thalia said, holding Kevin's hands. "I'll be fine with Matt, okay? It's just a few hours. I'm not running off again." Kevin had begun to be clingy since Thalia returned the other day. She didn't blame him, but it was slightly annoying. It didn't help that he was in a bad mood from his conversation with Wymack. Kevin hadn't offered up any information, and Thalia was content to wait for him to be comfortable enough to share how it had gone down. 

"Okay. Okay fine. I'll see you soon." Kevin said. Thalia smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss his cheek before heading over to Matt's truck, where Allison was leaning against it, waiting for Thalia to get in the middle of her and Renee.

"Are you sure you don't want to sit next to Renee?" Thalia asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I missed a few things while I was away, didn't I."

"You missed the fact that your brother was banging the most disturbed member of our dysfunctional team?" Allison said with no heat. Thalia rolled her eyes.

"No, I saw that coming from a mile away," she said and smiled when Allison's eyebrows furrowed and then raised. "I meant you and Renee."

"I know what you meant." Allison said. She didn't make any further comment about switching places in the truck with Thalia, so Thalia shrugged and climbed into the back seat.

"Hello Thalia," Renee said kindly with a smile on her face. Thalia nodded to Renee and buckled herself in. It was hard to get comfortable, especially in the middle seat and with all her injuries, but she did eventually.

"We all set?" Matt called back, looking in the rearview mirror. Thalia nodded, and Renee voiced her yes, but Allison stayed quiet. Thalia wanted to figure out what was going on, but stayed quiet when Matt put on the radio.

⥎  
⥐

When they arrived, Kevin immediately walked over and hugged Thalia. Loosely, so that he didn't hurt her anymore than she was, but he seemed so tired, as if he hadn't slept all night. Thalia would make sure he did tonight. That was the only thing she was going to make him do - sleep. She was going to help him work through other things as well, after the vacation and after the stress of the championships and final exams. But for now, they had some time to relax, and Thalia was going to make the most of it.

The cabin was what you'd expect from a cabin in the mountains. Five bedrooms - one downstairs, four upstairs at each corner of the cabin - and a big living room and kitchen area. There was a patio out the back, and a spa pool overlooking the mountainside. Thalia followed Kevin upstairs where he put their bags in one of the bedrooms. Thalia followed him inside. There were two doubles, and Thalia pushed one up against the wall, living her old habits. She knew she was safe here with the Foxes, but this was something she couldn't let go easily, especially after just leaving the nest.

"Thalia," Kevin said slowly. Thalia looked up to see him looking at her cautiously. She looked down at herself; she was curled up in a ball in the corner of the bed, back pressed against the corners of the wall. Thalia peeled herself away from the wall and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her feet. "Are you alright?"

"I was just thinking of the nest," Thalia said truthfully. She stood and rummaged around in her bag. "I need a cigarette." she murmured before going out onto the balcony and leaning against the edge of the railing with her stomach pressed against it. Thalia lit her cigarette and blew smoke out of her mouth. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, but it only reminded her of Lola's knife against her neck in the car on the way to Baltimore. 

When Thalia opened her eyes again, Kevin was standing next to her, looking out at the mountains. "He was confused," Kevin said. Thalia looked over at him silently, knowing he needed to speak up about the conversation he'd had hours before with Wymack. "But I told him about the letter, and he said that he assumed, for a while at least, even though she told him he wasn't my father." Thalia put her free hand gently over Kevin's and he looked down at it. 

"Kevin, you know you don't have to tell me this if you don't want to," Thalia said in encouragement, though she knew he wouldn't be telling her if he didn't want to. He hummed and then looked at the mountains again, going to continue.

"He said he always expected my mother to put me in his care if she died, even if he wasn't my father." Kevin said. "But then I guess she got closer with the Master, and then he was the number one caregiver." He looked down again, and Thalia could see the tears in his eyes. She turned Kevin and reached up to wipe them away. Kevin sniffed and looked into Thalia's eyes. 

"I know what it's like to lose someone you care about," Thalia said. "I may not remember much, but I remember you. I remember you caring for me all those years ago. When Riko beat us down, we'd help each other back up." She smiled and Kevin did too, ever so slightly. "But we found each other again. And you found your father. And that's something to hold onto, Kevin. Because Wymack cares about you so damn much, even if he doesn't show it. That's where you get it from." Kevin huffed. "Hold onto every good person who cares about you. Wymack. The Foxes. Me. There are people who care about you and who love you, Kevin. So fucking much."

"I love you too, Thalia." Kevin whispered. Thalia jerked her head in the direction of the bedroom and Kevin nodded. "Yeah, we should better get back downstairs." Thalia stubbed out her cigarette and the two went back inside and headed downstairs to join the rest of the team.


	68. LXVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT
> 
> 'And with the black banners raised  
> As the crooked smiles fade  
> Former heroes who quit too late  
> Who just want to fill up the trophy case again'

When Thalia and Kevin got downstairs, they found that the upperclassmen were already sitting in the spa with their togs on. Thalia raised an eyebrow, and Matt smiled, spreading his arms wide.

"Isn't this awesome?" he said. "I'd move here if I could."

"There's so much nature," Nicky commented, scrunching his face a little. "I'd move here if I could stay inside." Allison rolled her eyes and slipped lower into the tub, putting her arm around Renee.

"The only thing we're missing is a daiquiri." she said. Thalia rolled her eyes this time. She was trying to stop drinking so much, and, in turn, was trying to stop Kevin drinking so much. It had been easier to tame her addiction while at the nest, because she never had any alone time to do anything more than shower and have a few hours of rest if she was lucky.

"Funny you should mention that," Nicky said, piping up. All of the upperclassmen looked at him in slight shock. Nicky feigned being hurt by their accusing looks, and put a hand over his chest. "Seriously guys? It's like you don't know us at all."

"We try not to." Allison said.

"Yeah guys, don't you know Aaron's a raging alcoholic?" Thalia added sarcastically, earning herself a smack on the back of the head by a passing Andrew. She laughed though. It was worth it. Dan cracked a smile for the first time that day - she hadn't even smiled during the drive up, she was that mad at Kevin - and Allison smirked.

Thalia walked over to the tub and motioned to Dan. She needed to speak with her. Clear things up with the captain. Dan frowned a little but got out anyway and followed Thalia over to the other side of the deck.

"I meant what I said this morning," Thalia said. Dan was quiet, looking out at the mountains. "But I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have said it so soon after you finding out. I know you see coach as a father figure - we all do, to some extent - but you've known him the longest. I should have let you figure out how you were going to deal with it, first. Come to terms with it. But I didn't. I just had to let my mouth run." they were both silent for a moment. "It's going to get me killed some day."

"It just might," was all Dan said, but Thalia knew it was as good as an apology accepted. Thalia smiled half-heartedly and put a hand on Dan's shoulder as she passed her and went back to the group. Now was as good a time as any to apologise to someone else on the team. Thalia snagged Neil's arm on her way through the kitchen. Andrew and the others were making drinks and Neil was just watching them, so she figured he wouldn't be missing much. Andrew looked at Thalia as she passed and she smiled at him.

"Just borrowing your man for a moment." she said and walked over to the front door and out of the cabin. They stood just outside, but it was far enough away from anyone else Thalia figured they wouldn't be overheard. Not that she had anything rude to say, or something that could get them in trouble. It was more because it was slightly personal, and Thalia didn't want anyone else hearing it.

"What's up?" Neil asked, looking at the ground. Thalia kicked his shin lightly and he looked into her eyes. Thalia was slightly taller than Neil, despite being younger, and somehow she knew she'd made fun of him at least once when they were younger. She sighed.

"Since I'm full of apologies right now," Thalia started. "I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning. I was just surprised. I didn't know Kevin had told you that it was okay for you to tell the rest of the team. I shouldn't have reacted like that." Thalia looked down at her boots and kicked the ground. Neil took her shoulders carefully and made her stop. She looked up at Neil. The burn mark on his cheek was bandaged up, but Thalia frowned and put her hand gently on top of it. She sighed and shook her head. "It's not right. None of this is. We shouldn't have to go through this shit."

"Just be glad you don't remember it all." Neil said. Thalia suddenly felt even worse about the whole situation they were in. They may have been through the same shit in life, but Thalia didn't remember all of it. Neil did. He had to live with every scar and every meaning behind it every single day. Thalia had the bittersweet luxury of forgetfulness, and she didn't even remember half her life. It was times like these when she was glad for the injury that had lost her her memory.

Her and Neil shared a quick and cautious hug, making sure not to press too hard on a healing wound. Then they went inside, where Kevin and Nicky were passing out the first round of drinks. Kevin handed one to Thalia, who thanked him and put her drink down on the coffee table in the living room. Kevin frowned. "I'm just going upstairs to get changed for the tub." he nodded and handed out the rest of the drinks.

Thalia headed upstairs and locked herself in the bedroom, taking out her clothes. As she undressed, Thalia looked down at her thighs, though she hated to do it. There was a reason she never went swimming. She didn't exactly want to now, either, but she knew if she didn't at some point in the week, the others would get suspicious. Did Neil already know? Had she done it on the run? Had he walked in on her once? But Thalia pushed those thoughts aside and put on the two piece. She didn't have any swimsuits of her own, so Allison had lent her one. Thalia wasn't exactly comfortable in it, though it fit, but it showed off all her scars. The bullet wound in the front of her thigh, but not in the back. The place the doctors had surgically fixed her ribs after they'd broken. And many others from life on the run and in the nest. She had to keep her bandages on her arms, and it was uncomfortable putting on the bikini, but Thalia managed, and headed downstairs.

The rest of the team were chatting and laughing. Thalia saw through a window that Andrew and Neil were sitting off to the side smoking. When Thalia entered the deck with the drink Kevin had made her in hand, the conversation froze.

"Damn girl, you look good in that suit," Allison said. Thalia smiled, thanking her for not focusing on the obvious things everyone else was thinking. Thalia kept her legs closed and carefully got in the tub with her arms above the water. Nobody mentioned Thalia's thighs or any of her other scars, but Kevin put a comforting hand on her shoulder - the one with the tattoo of a cleaver she desperately wanted removed - and Thalia suddenly felt comforted.


	69. LXVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE THAN A WOMAN
> 
> 'Oh, girl, I've known you very well  
> I've seen you growing every day  
> I never really looked before  
> But now you take my breath away'

The team got dressed up nicely for dinner, which was at eight. In the room they were sharing, Kevin stood on the balcony while Thalia quickly changed into the yellow slip dress she'd brought with her. When she went to join him, he was looking out across the landscape, like he had been earlier that day. But as soon as Thalia joined him, Kevin turned and looked at her. She swallowed, thinking she might have done something wrong, but Kevin just took her hands and kissed the tops of her palms, and then the underside. And then her knuckles and fingertips.

"What's bothering you?" she asked carefully when he was done. Kevin sighed and looked down at their hands - he was still holding them, though it was more like Thalia's were fine China sitting in the middle of his huge palms.

"When did you do it?" he asked, not looking into Thalia's eyes. She sighed, knowing exactly what Kevin was talking about. Thalia knew he'd wanted to ask the whole time she'd been in her swimsuit - as had the rest of the Foxes, likely - but she hadn't thought Kevin would actually ask her.

"When I was on the run, I suppose." Thalia responded. "I guess it was too much for me to deal with." Kevin was silent and Thalia removed her hands from his to rest them on his cheeks and make Kevin look at her. He had tears in his eyes, not for the first time that day. "I don't anymore. I promise. I'd tell you if it was getting too hard, okay?" Kevin nodded. Thalia leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed Kevin on the lips. 

They joined the others on the way to the office, and when they got there, the whole team got odd looks, but luckily everyone was polite enough and kept their questions to themselves. Thalia was thankful - the bandages on her and Neil's arms especially weren't pretty. 

On the way back to the cabin, Thalia saw Dan head over to her and Kevin and nodded, telling her it was okay to take Kevin and talk to him. Thalia squeezed Kevin's arm before telling him she was going to head over to Neil and Andrew. He hummed in response and Dan took Kevin somewhere to talk.

They all huddled around a fire Matt created, and Allison told stories about other places she'd visited. She talked animatedly, one arm around Renee and the other flailing about. Then her and Matt started discussing what they'd do as a team to celebrate winning the championships, and Thalia smiled a little at their enthusiasm and optimism. Never once had she believed the Foxes would actually make it to Finals this year, and since it was probably going to happen, now that only one of the Big Three teams were in their group, it was nice to see everyone seeming happy about their possible chance to win. It was slim, but possible.

Thalia joined in when they started debating if they'd travel somewhere, like New York or Hawaii, or maybe even Vegas, and though she was trying to slow her drinking habits and eventually bring it to a stop, she found herself being dragged into more and more drinks. They were mostly just handed to her by Nicky or Matt or even Allison, but she downed every single one. 

Thalia only just noticed Neil leave to refill his glass of water, and almost missed seeing Aaron follow him, but she was too tipsy to do anything. Then Aaron returned shortly after with a smear of blood on his lip and Neil shortly after seemingly in pain. Thalia may have been bordering on drunk, but she could tell something had happened. Likely Neil had punched Aaron, but Thalia couldn't guess what for. She wasn't bothered to find out. 

When Dan and Kevin returned, neither of them said anything, but Dan headed straight to Matt, and Kevin to Thalia. Nicky got more bottles and passed them around. Kevin downed a bottle as fast as Thalia had ever seen anyone but herself do before, and she went to stop him, but Kevin gave her a look that made Thalia shy away. She turned away from him and joined in on the conversation again.

"Okay, okay, here's a question," Thalia said, a drunk smile on her face and slurred words sounding enthusiastic. A bottle dangled between her fingers, and everything in front of her face was slightly blurry. "If yo had to fuck a celebrity of the same gender - or for our special cases, the opposite gender - who would it be?" Thalia pointed first at Dan, who'd drunk enough to join in on the conversation again.

"Oh, definitely Scarjo," she said, wobbling on Matt's lap, trying not to fall off. Thalia smiled widely and nodded, then pointed to Matt right by Dan.

"Kevin," he said, his words slurred. Thalia, along with everyone else, dropped her jaw. Thalia flicked her gaze to Renee and Neil, not too far apart.

"Our sober friends over here heard that, Matthew," she said, looking back at him. "They can testify for this in the future." Matt didn't say anything else, just smiled drunkenly, and Thalia moved on, pointing her finger at Aaron. "You. Go."

"I don't want to answer that," he said, clearly not as drunk as the rest of the team. Nicky next to him made a booing sound and Aaron sighed. "Fine. I don't know, I can't think of anyone."

"It is not something you think about, Mr Minyard," Allison said. "Just say the first name that comes to mind."

"Alright, Tom Cruise," Thalia burst out laughing, along with Nicky and Allison. "What?"

"Sweetie, all of God's green earth would fuck Tom Cruise," Allison said. When she was calm, Thalia moved her finger to Nicky. "No cheating, you do a girl," 

"Ugh, alright, well I suppose I have to say Natalie Portman because she is a queen," Nicky said. Thalia nodded and leaned across the table to fist bump Nicky.

"Good answer! The best I've heard yet." Thalia said. She pointed at Renee. "Next! You do a dude, Renee."

"Alright," Renee said. "Chris Evans seems like a nice person. He gives to charity, supports others." 

"Oh, I forgot," Thalia slapped her palm to her forehead as if remembering something. "You're into humanitarians. So how did you end up with Allison?" Allison threw a pillow at Thalia, which she shielded her face from with her hands. Then Thalia pointed at Allison, a smile on her face.

"No, that's not fair," Nicky said, pointing accusingly at Allison. "She likes guys and girls." Allison shrugged like 'That's not my problem'. "Do something else for her." Thalia hummed.

"Alright, where would you rather visit - Paris or Hawaii?" Thalia asked. Allison huffed like she was being stupid.

"Paris, duh." Allison rolled her eyes and so did Thalia, before moving onto Neil.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I'm not really in tune with celebrities," he said. Thalia nodded. 

"Fair enough," she said. "Andrew," she pointed at him.

"I'm not answering that." he said. Thalia smiled wider.

"I figured you'd say that. So moving on." she pointed at Kevin, who was sitting next to Thalia with a bottle in his hand. "You."

"Ask me a question like Allison's," he said. Thalia widened her eyes and Kevin nodded, almost embarrassed. Thalia put down her own bottle and hugged Kevin from the side with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh, Kevin," she said. "Why didn't you tell me before!" she laughed, and the rest of the team took a few more seconds to catch on. Thalia knew none of them but Renee and Neil and maybe Andrew would remember this conversation in the morning. But it would come back to them eventually, just like all of Thalia's other memories. She was just happy Kevin felt comfortable - even if it was in a drunken state - to tell the team.

"Well, obviously I'd pick Natalie Portman, because as Nicky said, she is a queen." Thalia said, pulling the attention off Kevin's announcement. 

By the time they all headed to bed, Renee was helping Allison and Kevin up the stairs, and Neil held Thalia up. Dan and Matt supported each other, and Nicky stumbled up the stairs by himself, holding onto the railing. Aaron was mostly alright, even though he was still drunk. Just not as much as the rest of them.

Kevin, though he was worse than Thalia, helped her out of her loose dress and into her sleep clothes. Thalia didn't say anything as she got into the bed she'd pushed up against the wall, and fell asleep with Kevin's breathing from the next bed over.


	70. LXIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BLOOM
> 
> 'My favourite colour is your silhouette  
> But it's hard to see you through the black  
> It could be purple or gold in the act'

Thalia sat upright, heaving in breaths of air into her lungs. She looked around, but it was pitch black. She couldn't see anything, much less figure out where she was. So Thalia panicked, because not knowing where she was wasn't good. She knew that much.

Thalia threw the sheets off herself and that's when it came back to her. She clutched her forehead when a headache plagued her mind. Thalia scrunched her eyebrows and got out of bed, slower this time. She felt her way across the room to the door, and opened it. There was a light on in the hallway, and she followed it to the stairs. Thalia went down the stairs and shielded her eyes when the light was too much.

Thalia headed over to the doors that were open onto the patio, and saw the outline of a figure leaning against the railing. It was short, and she could see small streaks of blonde hair. Thalia knew Andrew slept lightly, but he was probably comfortable with Neil, so this wasn't that twin. It was the other one. 

"Aaron?" she asked, her voice sounding hoarse. He turned, and Thalia saw that it was, in fact, Aaron. She walked over to him and he turned back to looking out at the view. "What are you doing up?"

"Nightmares," he whispered. Thalia didn't say anything more, just looked at the dark mountains with him. "You too?"

"Probably not about the same thing as you," Thalia said. Her head was buzzing and she needed an aspirin, but that could wait. She wanted to know what was bothering Aaron. And what she could do to help him through it. "But yeah. Nightmares." They were both quiet for a moment. "You want to talk about it?" he shook his head. Thalia didn't push him. She wouldn't like being pushed to talk about her nightmares, either. 

"You know, I never liked you," Aaron said eventually. Thalia looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. He turned to face her before looking back at the mountains and sighing. 

"Thanks," Thalia said when Aaron didn't offer anything else. "The feeling's mutual."

"But I'd never wish what happened to you and Andrew on anyone," Aaron said, still not looking at Thalia. "Not even you and Andrew." 

"Aaron," she started. He turned to her then, brows furrowed. 

"I know it's shit talking about your past - I understand that. I never wanted to tell anyone about what my mother did to me. But I need to know," he said. Aaron looked tired, as if he hadn't slept at all in weeks. Thalia wouldn't blame him if he hadn't. She definitely hadn't. Not in months.

"Aaron," Thalia tried again. She sighed and shook her head. "I shouldn't tell you about Andrew's experiences - that's for him to tell you when he's ready - but I will tell you about mine." He nodded. Thalia took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Come on, let's sit down."

So they did, and Thalia started her story. "I spent about six months with the Spears. In those six months, Drake introduced me to alcohol, though I'd already been drinking at my other homes, drugs, and his friends." Aaron's face morphed into one of disgust. "You asked. It's not a pretty story, and not too late to back out." He swallowed hard and shook his head. "Alright then."

Thalia told Aaron about how when she arrived at the Spears, she arrived with the threat of juvie if she didn't stay. She told him that she'd run away or been kicked out of all fourteen other homes she'd been in before then, and how she'd planned to do the same to the Spears until she'd been given an ultimatum. Thalia told him that Drake had still legally been her foster family when Aaron had killed him - which Aaron said sorry for, and Thalia told him never to apologise for what he did. "You did a service to the world, Aaron. Cass won't see it that way, but it's true. Every rapist killed or convicted is another life saved. That's how I see it."

"I never thought about it like that." he muttered, and then when Thalia was done explaining, they both remained silent for a few minutes. 

"Do you know the trial date yet?" she asked him. Aaron shook his head. "Well I'll be there, and so will Andrew and Nicky and Kevin and Neil. We'll be there to support you." he nodded and looked down.

"Will Cass be there?" he asked, though Thalia knew Aaron already knew the answer. She leaned forwards and took his hands in hers. Aaron looked up at Thalia with teary eyes. She had stone cold ones though, and looked Aaron in the eye.

"She will. She showed up to the Columbia house after it happened, you know?" Thalia said. "I threw her out because I didn't want her to see you or Andrew. I really wish she wasn't going to be there, Aaron, because she'll only see Andrew when you're up on the stand. She'll blame both of you for her son's death. But like I said - if he didn't die, Cass would have just taken in more children after I legally turned eighteen and more people's lives would be ruined." Aaron was quiet and took his hands back so Thalia leaned back too. 

"There were five kids between me and Andrew, and none of them would testify." Thalia said. Aaron looked up at her again. "And neither would Andrew or me, but now that Drake is dead, it changes things. There's no threat that he'll track us down and find us. Ruin our lives again. Because he's dead, Aaron. Because you killed him. You made sure he wouldn't hurt anyone ever again." she said. 

"Thank you," Aaron muttered. Thalia nodded. Then hesitated. Surely Andrew would be okay with Aaron knowing a little more. So she opened her mouth again and made sure she thought hard about the words that were going to come out of it before they did.

"Do you know why Andrew went to juvie?" she asked Aaron. She was toeing a dangerous line, but knew Andrew wanted to fix his relationship with Aaron, no matter how much he acted like he didn't care.

"No," Aaron said slowly. "But I'm guessing you do, and you're going to tell me." Thalia nodded. 

"He got himself sent there on purpose. It was obviously after he found out about you," Thalia said. "And he wanted to protect you." Aaron frowned.

"From what?" he asked. Thalia didn't respond, waiting for the recognition to show on Aaron's face. When it did, it showed as a raised eyebrows and slack jaw, wide eyes and disbelieving nonsense coming out of his mouth. "No." Thalia nodded. "How?"

"Drake found out about you, too, and apparently he wanted 'A matching set'." Thalia said. Aaron looked like he was going to throw up and scream all at once. "So Andrew went to juvie so you wouldn't visit him. He cares about you so very much, Aaron. You need to understand that. The deals he makes are to keep people close to him. So they don't run out on him." Thalia said. "If you can show him that you'll stick by him even with Katelyn around, I'm sure he'll let you drop your deal."

"And you're going to have to get used to Neil being around him, because I can tell that's not going away any time soon." Thalia added as an afterthought, remembering Neil and Aaron disappearing for a short period of time earlier in the night. They'd likely had a fight about Aaron and Andrew's deal. Thalia didn't care enough to figure out what it was really about, but she knew the two had to get used to each other if Neil was going to stick around in Andrew's life. 

"I know," Aaron said, putting his head in his hands. Thalia stood, and on her way into the house, she passed Aaron. Thalia put a comforting hand on his shoulder for a few seconds before she went into the kitchen, got a glass of water and a painkiller, and headed back upstairs. Kevin was still asleep, but Thalia took the pill and put the glass of water on the bedside table before climbing in next to him. Her back wasn't against the wall, and the nightmare she'd woken from had been a violent one, but she felt calm now that she'd talked to someone. Aaron, of all people, had helped Thalia realise that it was okay to have demons, and that it was okay that they haunted you for a while. But you could get over them, especially if you have someone there to comfort you.


	71. LXX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS
> 
> 'Cigarette stuck to the bottom of your lip  
> Saw you standing on the corner of the street  
> You got your own style with the way that you're moving'

Thalia didn't want to get up the next morning. She was wrapped in Kevin's arms, who was still asleep when she woke again - not from nightmares, but the sunlight streaming in through the window - and she still had a headache, though it was less throbbing and more annoying. 

"Mmm, morning," Kevin said, his voice hoarse from sleep. Thalia smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "When did this happen?" he asked. Thalia chuckled lightly and kissed him again, not answering his question. Kevin wrapped his arm carefully around her and hoisted Thalia on top of him. She sat, straddling Kevin's waist, while he lay and watched Thalia with a sleepy smile. 

"I bet that headache's not going to be kind to you today," Thalia said, leaning down slowly to kiss Kevin's forehead, then his nose, and his lips. She moved down more, to his neck and pushing his shirt out of the way to get to Kevin's collarbone. He'd been keeping her upright with his hands on Thalia's hips, and now Kevin gripped them tightly. She smiled onto his skin.

"You're not going to be kind to me today," Kevin whined when Thalia sat up again and rolled off him. She laughed.

"Come on, we're going horseriding today." Kevin groaned and a smack sounded from behind Thalia, where she could guess Kevin was putting a pillow over his face.

Almost the whole team had three aspirins that morning after breakfast. Thalia had one, since her hangover wasn't too bad after the one she'd had earlier. She looked around for Aaron, who was sitting on one of the sofas, reading. She headed over to him, splitting from the rest of the group. She kicked his shin and Aaron looked up.

"What?" he asked. 

"You okay?" Thalia asked quietly. Aaron side-eyed the rest of the team - Andrew specifically, Thalia guessed - and then turned back to Thalia with a sigh and a half-hearted nod. "Alright, but don't be in a mood for the rest of the week. I told you already, you asked for it, and I told you. If you can't handle it, that's not my problem." Then Thalia headed back to Kevin's side, who was just finishing a glass of cold water. He put his hand around her waist and put his head in the crook of Thalia's neck. She smiled. 

"I don't want to go horseriding, Thalia." he muttered. Thalia rolled her eyes at it and looked to the rest of the group. Most of them were looking at the two, raising an eyebrow at Kevin's behaviour.

"Well that's too bad. Me and Neil are doing it, and we're very injured. So get over yourself." Thalia said.

"I told you you weren't going to be kind to me today," he muttered so only Thalia could hear. Shivers went up and down her spine. "Can we just stay here?"

"No Kevin," Thalia said, pushing him off her lightly. "We can't stay here. We're here on a team holiday. We're going to do things with the rest of the team. And that means horseriding." Kevin wasn't the only one objecting. Aaron refused to go until Thalia and Nicky dragged him off the sofa and Dan threatened to put his book in the fire as kindling.

Everything hurt as Thalia got on the horses' back, and she she almost forgot about the pain by the time dismounting came around. She and Neil both headed straight for their antibiotics as soon as they got back to the cabin. Kevin helped Thalia with hers, while Renee aided Neil with his. The four of them sat in the living room as Kevin and Renee worked on the siblings' bandages. Everyone else was outside talking at the moment, so it was just them and Andrew in the cabin.

"Are you going to let them air?" Renee asked. 

"We should," Thalia said, looking at Neil. He hummed. 

"But I don't really want these on display."

"I can ask the others not to say anything." Renee said. Neil and Thalia thanked her and she left once she was done with Neil and talked to the others. Thalia could hear everything she said to them outside. 

Andrew dragged Neil out when Renee was done talking.

"I shouldn't worry, should I?" Thalia asked Kevin as he finished up. He looked up at her with slight concern in his eyes. Thalia tugged down her shirt carefully and looked Kevin in the eye. "I mean, I showed them all of the old ones yesterday. I don't know why I'm worrying about these ones."

"Probably because they're new." Kevin said. "you don't want them to worry about you. Don't want me to worry about you." Thalia sighed, knowing he was right. "But newsflash - I do worry about you. All the time. Because I care about you, Thalia. And so do the others." Thalia smiled in thanks and kissed him as he helped her up.

Thalia followed Kevin outside and the others made slightly sickening reactions to her injuries. They'd already seen Neil's fresh ones, but clearly weren't expecting a second round worse than his. Thalia had marks on her neck from where Lola had dug her knife into it, and burns all up her arms. Not that Neil didn't but his were mostly concentrated on his hands. Knuckles. Thalia's were all over the place. At least she didn't have one on her face. She didn't have any marks on her face, except for the bump that was going down by now where they'd knocked her out in the first place.

"I can play," Neil said when the silence seemed to stretch on. Dan turned to him with a deep frown on her face. "It's going to hurt, and if the Bearcats get too rough next week it'll hurt, but I still have my grip." Neil clenched his fingers to show his evidence. Thalia shook her head at his idiocy, but Dan beat her to saying something.

"Absolutely not," she said. "You're not playing. And neither is Thalia. You think coach will let either of you play looking like you were run over by a dumpster truck? I'll sub in as striker, and Renee can help Allison out one more time, right?" Renee nodded from Allison's side. "Trust us to hold the line. You two focus on healing up so we can use you in semifinals."

"Assuming I'm even allowed back on the team officially," Thalia added, getting everyone's attention. "Well, since it's so close to the end of the season, and the Moriyamas probably think I'm dead by now, I doubt I'd be let back on."

"We'll find a way," Dan said, looking at Thalia and nodding short and sharp. Thalia nodded, thanking her.

"I trust you," Neil said. "Thank you." Thalia smiled at his understanding.

"Wow, who's humanising who in this relationship?" Nicky said jokingly. Nobody missed how Andrew reached for some knives and Renee pushed them out of his reach. Thalia snorted at the action. Nicky came over to Thalia and Kevin and hid behind Kevin's tall body. Aaron and Andrew shared a look Thalia didn't fully understand. She guessed Aaron was seeing his brother in a new light, considering what she'd told him last night, but Neil clenched his fist and looked like he wanted to knock Aaron out.

"Speaking of," Allison cut in. "I'm still waiting on an explanation, Neil. When are we going to talk about this?" she waggled her finger between Neil and Andrew.

"Apparently never," Nicky said sadly. Thalia poked him and had a smirk on her face. He looked down at her and then his eyes widened and he jumped away, hand smacked over his mouth and finger pointed at Thalia. "You knew?!"

"Knew what?" Thalia said, schooling her features and looking at Nicky with fake confusion. She found it hilarious.

"Don't be obtuse," he said, looking around at the others. They all seemed confused as to what Nicky was talking about. They usually were. "You knew about Neil and Andrew, didn't you?" Thalia looked between the two boys in question and then back to Nicky.

"Well, if you're asking me if I knew about their not-relationship, then no. I didn't." Thalia said. "I found out about that at the same time as the rest of you. But I did know about Andrew being gay, and about him liking Neil, yes." Nicky seemed unbelieving.

"And you didn't tell me?!" he exclaimed. Thalia shrugged with a frown on her face.

"It was none of your business, and I didn't know you that well back then." Thalia said. Nicky sighed and sulked away, muttering about how Thalia didn't tell him. She rolled her eyes and turned to the rest of the group. "What?" she said to their stares. "Renee knew too, don't look at me."

"Renee knew?!"


	72. LXXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHEN I'M SIXTY FOUR
> 
> 'Send me a postcard, drop me a line  
> Stating point of view  
> Indicate precisely what you mean to say  
> Yours sincerely, wasting away'

Thalia and Neil bandaged their arms back up again for dinner, and Thalia put on another nice dress that had Kevin muttering how much he loved it. Thalia didn't know why he was doing it, or how he made her want to cooperate by taking it off, but it almost scared her. She'd never had sex before because she wanted to. It was always because someone else wanted to, and what Kevin was doing was almost similar to how the other people had acted. She knew he wasn't doing it on purpose, but Thalia kept her distance from Kevin at dinner.

When they got back, Kevin stopped her outside the cabin and asked what was wrong. She explained, and Kevin apologised. Thalia smiled and kissed his cheek. Kevin would never hurt her. She knew that. He'd never force her to do anything she didn't want to do, and Thalia thought that was why she was so scared - the thought that he would hurt her if she did what he wanted. 

Everyone split up when they were inside, Dan and Matt going somewhere together, Nicky and Aaron headed to the spa with Renee and Allison, Neil and Andrew went into the kitchen, and Thalia and Kevin curled up together on the sofa reading books. Thalia had her legs over Kevin's lap and leaned against the armrest, while Kevin had his feet up on the coffee table. It was comfortable, and Thalia wondered whether they'd be doing this, years from now, in their own home. It was ridiculous to think about the future when Thalia's life was a roulette wheel, but she couldn't stop herself this time. A future with Kevin in it. With the Foxes as her family. Her messed up, broken family that had chosen each other. It made Thalia happy.

Thalia was tired after waking up and talking to Aaron last night, so she went to bed first, with the others not far behind her, by the sound of their footsteps. She woke with a start when Kevin entered the room, but settled when he got in the bed and wrapped his arms around her.

Thalia woke to a buzzing sound. She squinted in the dark and saw the dim light of a phone on the bedside table. Kevin had turned in his sleep, so she climbed over him to get her phone. The caller ID was one she'd never seen before. Thalia's heart raced in her chest as she pressed the pickup button. "Hello?" she whispered, trying not to wake Kevin. "Who is this?"

"Thalia? Oh thank God," a voice Thalia hadn't heard in a few days said frantically. She widened her eyes and stepped outside of the room into the hallway. "I wasn't sure if you were even still alive. Riko's gone around telling the Ravens you're dead. We didn't believe him of course - oh, right, sorry."

"Gracie? It's like, two in the morning. What's wrong?" Thalia asked. Her mind was trying to wrap itself around the being awake and hearing Gracie's voice part, and when she said the next thing, Thalia thought her head would explode. "He did what?" Thalia was already heading down the hall, still listening to Gracie ramble on about their problem. "Shit," She stopped in her tracks for a moment before continuing her journey. "Kicked the bucket? Well, that was earlier than expected. Sorry, I shouldn't be joking." Thalia quietly opened the door and headed over to Renee's bed. She was curled around Allison, but a single touch on the shoulder woke her up. Thalia jerked her head to the outside of the room, and Renee got up. 

"Gracie, stop the bleeding, that's the only way things can get better until I get there, okay?" Thalia said. "Alright. I'm going to have to call you back, but just keep pressure on the wounds, okay? Okay. You'll all be alright, just tell Dan not to get too emotional, or there won't be any coming back from this if he doesn't make it. Sorry Dan, but if I can't get there fast enough, he might not." Thalia hung up and quickly explained the situation to Renee. 

"Okay, I'll go get the keys to the Maserati. You get the things we'll need." Renee said. Thalia nodded and they split up. The two girls met up again at Andrew's car. Renee put the keys in the ignition and started driving. It would be a long drive to West Virginia, but if they could save Thalia's friends, it would be worth it.

⥎  
⥐

With some help from Renee's mother, Stephanie - who Thalia remembered very well from their one meeting - the two girls were able to get hold of Gracie, Dean, and Dan. They'd explained to Mr Andritch, Edgar Allan's president, that Kengo had just died and that he had two choices - he let all three involved go, or get the press involved in the school. He'd been surprised to see Thalia, but even more surprised when Dean had been carried out by his boyfriend and best friend to Andrew's car. Dean was badly injured, and there was no way he could have survived if Renee and Thalia hadn't got him to Abby.

"Let me drive," Thalia said. Renee hesitated for one moment before handing the keys over. Thalia gripped the steering wheel and told everyone to hold on. Thalia never took her drivers test, and the FBI gave her one without asking if she had. So to say her driving was shocking was probably an understatement. But the only reason she'd driven in the past was to get away from people. So her driving was fast, and not law abiding, but it was efficient, and got them to Abby's quicker than Renee would have. 

When the two made it back to the cabin on Sunday morning, they explained everything. How they'd talked to Andritch, picked up Gracie, Dean and Dan, and delivered the three of them to Abby, where Dean was now being treated. 

"Where's Kevin?" Thalia asked. Nicky jerked his head upstairs. "Thanks." She headed up to the bedroom and knocked before entering.

It was a mess. There were three bottles of whiskey empty on the floor, and Kevin was messed up in his sheets. The blinds were closed and the lights were off. Thalia walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed. She put a hand on his arm and Kevin sat up immediately. His eyes were red and there were bags under them. Thalia pulled him into a hug that Kevin returned. 

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that," Thalia whispered. Kevin was crying. His whole body was moving up and down.

"I don't know what's going to happen to you now that Kengo's dead," Kevin stuttered out. "What if Stuart can't make a truce with Ichirou?" Thalia pet his hair.

"It's all going to be okay, Kevin." Thalia said, though she'd been having the same thoughts. "I'm going to be okay." She wasn't quite sure that was true, though, and had a feeling things were only going to get worse from here.


	73. LXXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WIRES 
> 
> 'We talked about making it  
> I'm sorry that you never made it  
> And it pains me just to hear you have to say it'

Thalia only left Kevin when he was asleep. He'd cried and asked what had happened to Dean. Apparently the two had also been close when Kevin was at Evermore. Thalia told him that Dean would be alright. That he had Dan and Gracie with him, and Abby was helping him recover from his injuries. Then Kevin had nodded, asked Thalia to stay with him, and fallen asleep against her shoulder. 

She went downstairs to find that everyone was listening to Renee explain the situation, like Thalia had just done with Kevin, though it seemed they were having a slightly different conversation. More focused on what had happened and how they'd gotten Dean out of there instead of the consequences and what they meant for Neil, Thalia and Kevin in particular. 

Thalia thought of Jean then. Would he still be included in whatever Ichirou would be planning? She thought she'd try and give him a heads up, just in case, so Thalia headed outside to the patio and dialed Jeremy's number. Despite it being late at night for him, Jeremy picked up quite fast.

"Hello? Jeremy Knox, long time no see," Thalia began. There was a short laugh from the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, I haven't seen you since you rejected my offer to join the Trojans," Jeremy said. "What can I do for you, Thalia?" Thalia was surprised that he wasn't wondering about what had happened last weekend. He didn't ask her about if it was true, that she was the daughter of the Butcher of Baltimore - which was how she'd expected anyone to respond to her telling them her name now - but instead immediately focused on what Thalia was calling him for.

"I was just wanting to check up on Jean. I didn't know if you'd heard yet," Jeremy made a sound of confusion. "Okay. Is Jean there? I'd like to speak to him." 

"Uh yeah. He's just in the other room." Jeremy said. "I'll go get him." There were footsteps and Jeremy knocked on a door, then opened it. "Jean, Thalia's on the phone. She wants to talk to you." Jeremy said in French. Thalia's eyebrows slowly rose and a smirk grew on her lips, despite the situation.

"Tell her I'll talk to her in the morning," Jean's voice was quiet, obviously being far away from the speaker. "Just come back here so we can keep watching the movie." he was speaking in French, which Jean was aware that Thalia knew, but must have thought she couldn't hear.

"Jean, come on," Jeremy said. "It'll take five minutes." Jean groaned but shifted and then he was speaking into the phone.

"This had better be good, Warden," Jean grumbled in English, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

"Actually, it's Josten. I had it legally changed on the weekend." Thalia corrected him.

"Oh yeah, how'd that go down? Are you and Neil alright?" Jean asked. Thalia hummed.

"Yeah, we're fine. A little worse for wear, but Nathan's dead, which is good." Thalia said. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I wouldn't interrupt a movie night to talk about my dead father," she said. Jean huffed. "Only Riko's."

"No," Jean said in disbelief. "No, Kengo can't be dead."

"He is, Jean. Riko beat Dean pretty badly. Renee and me went to get him and Gracie and Dan." Thalia explained. "He's okay now, but my guess is that Riko's still not mentally stable. He might keep hitting his teammates until he only has nine players." Jean was silent, obviously taking in the information. "You okay there, bud?"

"You're lying." he said. Thalia sighed.

"It'll be on the news soon enough. Then you'll believe me. Just take it easy, okay? I'll get your number from Kevin so I can keep you updated if Ichirou decides to get in contact with us." Thalia said. "And I expect you to do the same. Okay? Alright, go back to Jeremy now. Let him help you through this, Jean. You'll need it." Thalia hung up the phone and walked back inside.

Dan hobbled down the stairs with her suitcase, Matt following her with both his and Allison's. Thalia waited for the two of them to get to the bottom before passing them and going back into her and Kevin's room. Neil looked up when she entered. She didn't expect him to be in there, but Neil stood and put a hand on her shoulder when he passed her out of the room. Thalia knew he was probably comforting Kevin, which meant he was awake.

"Hey, you alright?" she asked Kevin, turning on the light. He groaned and pulled the covers over his face, but Thalia closed the door and walked over to him. "Come on, Kevin. You need a shower, and we both need to pack our things." He groaned again and Thalia rolled her eyes, pulling back the covers. Kevin shielded his eyes with his arms but Thalia pulled them away and kissed his nose. "Come on." she tried pulling him up by the arms but her own ached too much so Thalia let him sit up on his own. 

She headed over to her things and packed them into her suitcase, and shuffling around told her Kevin was doing the same. "So you're not going to have a shower?" she asked. He hummed. "Andrew won't let you in his car."

"He let a bloody and bruised man into his backseat not too long ago without even knowing he was bloody and bruised," Kevin said. "He'll get over it." Thalia rolled her eyes and finished packing. Kevin took both of their bags and headed down the hallway, down the stairs. Thalia picked up his rubbish and followed him.

⥎  
⥐

They made a stop at Abby's on the way back, and Dan called out so she knew she had guests. Abby and Wymack were sitting at the dining table, clearly just having finished lunch. Kevin walked down the hall after Abby so he could see Dean. 

"Neither of the others have left his side since he got here." Wymack said. Thalia nodded and sighed.

"That's Gracie and Dan for you." Dan looked at Thalia quickly before realising she wasn't talking about her.

"Consensus?" Wymack said.

"They can stay here until he heals up, then after that it's up to them." Dan said. Wymack nodded in agreement. Thalia narrowed her eyes.

"What if they joined us next season?" she spoke up. The whole team looked at her. "Well, I mean, they're not going to go back to Evermore, and there's only so many Ravens I can send to Jeremy."

"Wait, you're how Jean got to the Trojans?" Nicky asked. Thalia shrugged. 

"He tried to recruit me last year. I said no. He gave me a card with his number on it and told me to think about it." Thalia explained. "I never did until it was necessary."

"The board knows Neil and Thalia were coming back today," Wymack said after a moments silence. "They want to talk with the two of you as soon as you returned." Wymack looked between the two. "Have you returned?"

Thalia and Neil shared a glance and then looked to Wymack. "Yeah. We're back."


	74. LXXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOOD OLD-FASHIONED LOVERBOY
> 
> 'Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely   
> I will pay the bill, you taste the wine  
> Driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely  
> Just take me back to yours that will be fine'

"This is Whittier, I have Coach David Wymack and," Charles Whittier said, giving an uneasy glance at Thalia and Neil. Thalia rose her eyebrow in a challenge, and he turned back to his microphone. "Thalia and Neil Josten with me. Who do we have signed on already?"

It seemed like the whole administration department were on the call, but there were really only twenty callers in total. Once the list was done, Whittier began.

Thalia rocked back on her chair in boredom many times during the hour, Wymack having to push the back of her chair to get her to stop. She resigned herself to bobbing her knee up and down and twirling her hair in her fingers. She was beginning to regret the mint green, but she wouldn't tell Dean that. Not with the state he was in.

"But Thalia's not even enrolled here anymore, you can't just let her back onto your team and we can't let her back into our school this late in the year," one of the board members said. Thalia put her front chair legs down on the ground and leaned over Whittier's desk to grab the microphone. He tried to take it back, but Thalia stood up and walked out of his reach.

"Listen here, I did what I did - leave, that is - to protect my brother," Thalia said into the mic. She looked into Whittier's eyes. "And to protect some other people, but they're clearly not important to you right now, and that's okay. I don't care if you don't let me back into the school and make me redo this year next year, but I need to be back on the Fox line as soon as possible. Thank you for listening, I'll hand you back to Mr Whittier now." Thalia put the microphone back in front of Whittier, but she kept standing, walking around his office and looking at books on the shelves.

They all continued to argue among themselves until Wymack broke, too. "Look," he said, interrupting Whittier. Thalia turned around then, listening to him. "Look," He said louder when the others continued to talk over him. Wymack waited for silence and then continued. "Since day one you've questioned every single decision I've ever made. Time and time again I've proven I know what's best for this team - both for the players and for the school's interest. Haven't I?" Wymack said.

"This should be an easier call than signing off on Andrew was." Wymack said, and Thalia smirked, sitting back in her seat and putting her feet up on Whittier's desk. He looked at her like he wanted to tell her to stop, but Wymack pushed her legs off the desk without even looking at her. Thalia rolled her eyes but preoccupied herself with something else. "With Andrew I asked you to have faith and patience because I knew it would take time for your endorsement to pay off. This time the results are already in. You've reaped the benefits of Neil's presence since August, and Thalia's since not long after." Thalia tilted her head in agreement to her coach.

"They are both critical members of my team. You can ask any person on my line-up and they will agree," Wymack said. 

"Aw, thanks coach," Thalia said sarcastically. 

"You shut up." he said, pointing a finger at her, obviously on a roll. Thalia just smiled widely and Wymack turned back to the microphone. 

"We would not be where we are today without them here with us. And where we are today is on the cusp of finals. If you don't let Thalia back on my team, I will hide her until finals and then have her on in the last ten minutes of the game."

"Hey, you might be onto something," Thalia said, but Wymack didn't reply to her that time. 

"We are four games from being NCAA champions. We are on the verge of being the first team in the nation to best the Edgar Allan Ravens. We have a line-up that will graduate to pros and Court. We're reshaping the way people think about Palmetto State's exy. Taking the Josten's off the team won't save face, and it sure as hell isn't the smart decision. It will backfire so hard you'll never want to see a reporter again." Wymack finished, and Thalia stood, clapping slowly. "Sit the fuck down Thalia, I'm still not over you leaving us in the first place." Thalia shrugged and did as she was told. Finally they began arguing again, and then put it to a vote. They voted in favour of Neil and Thalia.

"Thank you," Wymack said in a tone that was more annoyed than grateful. "Now that that's settled, there's something else I need to say so long as I've got you all here with me." Thalia's eyes widened and she looked at Wymack like he was insane. She stood and grabbed his arm, trying to force him away. "No, Thalia, sit down." he looked at her like he was mad at her for not telling him. She shied away from the look and sat, looking at the floor. "You should hear this from me before you see it on the news."

"What now?" One of the callers said.

"It's recently come to my attention that I have a son." Thalia kept her head down and fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "I'm scheduling a paternity test now that we're back on campus only because I want the paperwork on file." he looked back at Thalia, letting her know that was the only reason. Not because he didn't believe Kevin, and not because he wanted to kick him off his team. Thalia knew that. She didn't need the confirmation.

"Congratulations," someone said, though it was clear they didn't mean it. Thalia rolled her eyes and slumped further into her chair.

It took Wymack a few tries to get the two words out. "It's Kevin Day." There was silence for a few moments.

"It's what now?" one of the trustees said.

"He told me last week. He was - inspired," Wymack said, finding the right words. "By Neil and Thalia's situation, to come clean with me. I'm telling you now because he plans on telling the public this week. We're going to use it to help combat the negative press surrounding Neil and Thalia. I'd like to state that this discovery will have no impact on my coaching."

"I have one more thing to say," Thalia said as people were wrapping up their arguments. Wymack and Whittier both looked at her. She stood and leaned across to the microphone. "I don't know how many people think I'm dead, so could we not release the fact that I am not until I say otherwise? Thank you." There were a few voices of agreement and then people signed off.

"Well, that was unexpected," Whittier said, looking at Wymack. 

"I am his coach first," Wymack said to the other man's searching gaze. Thalia frowned. That wasn't right. It had been Kevin's whole life, and he'd just told Wymack that he was his son. Now Wymack wouldn't even act like he was. Thalia understood to an extent - he wouldn't let this information disrupt his coaching - but outside of exy, Wymack needed to act like Kevin's father. They both deserved the lost years.

Whittier shook his head. "Speaking as president to coach, that's exactly what I want to hear. Speaking Chuck to David, I'm sorry. That can't have been easy to hear."

"Thank you," Wymack said after a moment. Whittier stood and led the three of them to the door. In the driveway, Wymack turned to Thalia. "How long did you know?" he asked her.

"I found out when he did, but I lost the memory. I got it back before Christmas, though." Thalia said. Wymack nodded. "I told him to tell you, but I wasn't going to push him." Thalia looked at Neil then back at Wymack. "I wouldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to, and I hope you wouldn't either." Wymack nodded, and the three of them got into his car, driving back to Fox tower.


	75. LXXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS
> 
> 'And never did I think that I  
> Would be caught in the way you got me  
> Push another girl aside and just give in'

They enrolled Thalia back in her classes, and she got Matt and Kevin to help her move all her art back into her studio on Sunday afternoon.

Classes weren't so bad, except for the fact that everyone asked about why Thalia had left, and why she was suddenly back. "I don't want to talk about it" Was her go to answer, and she felt like she was back in foster care with all the pestering questions at her new schools. She purposely wore baggy clothes and one of Kevin's team hoodies that was too big for her so that people wouldn't see the majority of her injuries from last week. 

On her way back to the dorms from her last class of the day, someone stopped right in front of Thalia. She kept her head down and moved around him. But then they spoke in Japanese, demanding her to stop. Thalia's feet planted where they were and she turned slowly. The man was taller than most of the students flowing past him. "We are leaving." Thalia frowned, but then her eyes widened and she stepped backwards in realisation. Ichirou had sent after her. It had happened sooner than expected. And she had expected it.

She followed the man hesitantly, and they met up with Neil and another man. "Do you know what's going on?" Neil whispered to her in German. Thalia nodded.

"Probably the new lord." She wouldn't say Ichirou's name, because even in a foreign language the bodyguards would probably understand the name. Neil tensed when she said that.

They got in the back of a car and the door was slammed shut. One of the Japanese men got in the driver's seat, and the other in the passenger. The car started driving, and Thalia and Neil both looked out the window on their side, in case they had to find their way back. But they went to the construction site on campus, and were told to get out not long after arriving. The other car in the parking lot was more like a small limosine. Thalia opened the door and got in, looking up opposite her. Neil hesitated when he saw who was waiting for them, but got in and closed the door behind him.

Thalia had heard about Riko's brother many times in her months at the nest, but had never imagined this would be what he looked like. Though he had a silk suit on and young features, showing he wasn't much older than Thalia and Neil. But she knew better than to judge him based on looks. The Moriyamas were ruthless, and Thalia had only met the offcasts.

"Do you know who I am?" Ichirou asked.

"Yes," Neil said politely. That wasn't enough, though. Ichirou needed them to say it. He needed to hear it.

"You are Lord Moriyama," Thalia fixed Neil's slight misstep. She knew they had to go into this conversation not as Jostens, but as Wesninskis.

"Yes," Ichirou said, calm and with elongated syllables, like he had all the time in the world. "You are aware my father is dead? I have not yet heard your condolences."

"It seems presumptuous to offer them," Neil said. Thalia internally cursed him. That wasn't the right thing to say. "It assumes you value my words. I am a no-one." She mentally shot him in the hand. Not the right thing at all.

"You are not no-one." Ichirou said. "That is why I am here. You understand." he said, moving on from Neil's attempt at apologising. 

"My father is dead at my uncle's hand and the FBI is investigating what is left of his ring," Thalia said. Part of that wasn't true, but Ichirou didn't need to know she'd been the one to kill the Butcher. It would only make him want to kill her, and she was already the most frightened she'd ever been in her life. "We are loose ends that must be dealt with one way or another."

"I could stop it," Ichirou said. It was true. The FBI had Neil and Thalia's stories filed away somewhere and were investigating it all, but if Ichirou wanted it to be stopped, Thalia didn't doubt it would be stopped. "Instead I am here. I like to know the value of things before I throw them away so I know how to compensate for their loss."

"We have no value now, but if given the time and chance to do so, we would repay your family for the inconveniences we've caused." Neil said. Thalia nodded once in agreement with her brother.

"The average professional exy player makes three million dollars a year. I don't need that kind of money for myself, and I doubt Neil does either," Thalia paused a moment for Neil to nod. "Let us donate that money to your family instead. We can route it through whichever holdings and charities you've inherited."

"An unsubtle attempt to buy your safety," Ichirou said, looking between the two. 

"My lord," Neil said. "We are attempting to right a wrong and fulfill a broken promise. I was supposed to belong to your uncle, and my sister did for some time. We were supposed to be raised at Evermore to be Ravens and play for Court. Our potential revenue has always belonged to you. I returned to exy as soon as my mother died because I knew my purpose." 

Ichirou turned to Thalia, taking in Neil's words. "And what about you? Why haven't you returned to Evermore with my uncle and brother yet? You should have after your father died." Thalia's throat went dry from the attention so she swallowed and spoke, not wanting Ichirou to wait.

"My lord, Riko is unstable, and hurts those who do nothing but try to help him," Thalia started. She didn't know where she was going with this, but hoped it would make Ichirou understand why she hadn't returned to Evermore. "A clear example is Kevin Day. Your uncle pitted the two boys against each other to see which was better at exy. Kevin won, and Riko broke his hand in a fit of rage. Another example is from the other day, when Riko found out about your father's death - to which we do offer condolences - he hurt one of his teammates very badly, and he is now in hospital."

"Did my brother hurt you?" Ichirou asked. Thalia swallowed again and nodded once. Ichirou stayed quiet, processing all information he'd just received, and clearly waiting for either Neil or Thalia to speak.

"I know you have no reason to trust us," Neil said carefully. "And that we have not earned your ear or consideration. But we are Wesninskis. Our family is your family. Please believe me when I say we would never risk the safety of your empire. Playing for Edgar Allan would go against everything my family is supposed to stand for."

After that, nobody said anything for a few more minutes. Thalia tried to read Ichirou's face, but there was no expression to read.

"Your brother is going to destroy everything of yours unless someone collars him." Thalia spoke up eventually. Ichirou's eyes lazily drifted to her face.

"That is very bold." he said, a thin smile on his face. It made Thalia's skin crawl.

"Yes," Thalia agreed. "But it is the truth."


	76. LXXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERYTHING I DIDN'T SAY
> 
> 'The way that you held me  
> I wish that I'd put you first  
> I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss  
> While you were slipping through my fingertips'

"Riko has spent his entire life aiming to be the best player on the court," Neil said, picking up from where Thalia left off not too long ago. "When he feels his superiority is threatened, he lashes out. Like Thalia said. This year and last year alone are proof of his increasing instability."

"Kevin Day was your uncle's second largest investment." Thalia said. "But Riko destroyed him over hurt pride. At the start of his sophmore year, Kevin had a seven digit net worth between his professional contract, his spot on the national team, and his endorsements. He could have earned your family fifteen, twenty million a year after graduation. Now he has to start from scratch."

"Riko killed one of my teammates in August," Neil continued, telling Ichirou how horrible his brother was. "And admitted to it in a public environment. In November he interfered with the Oakland justice system, and left a money trail from California to South Carolina to hurt another teammate. And in December he bought out a psychiatrist at Easthaven to continue that torture. Over Christmas break he gave me back my natural looks so my father's people could find and kill me, and forced Thalia to stay at Evermore."

"He laid the groundwork for the confrontation in Maryland that ended with my father's death and this entire federal investigation." Thalia said. She could feel together they were getting through to Ichirou. "Last week he reacted to your father's death by beating a teammate within an inch of his life. He didn't have any of the people he would usually hurt - Kevin, Jean, me or Neil - but he found someone all four of us had been close to in our time at Evermore. He is in our custody while he heals, but Edgar Allan University has launched a quiet investigation into the Ravens. They will find out about the abuse your uncle condones and someone will have to answer for it." 

"We're not saying your brother is unstable," Neil said, making Thalia want to laugh, but she schooled her features. "But he is not being careful. He is escalating because he feels threatened. But there are too many people watching us now. They will catch him soon enough, and I am afraid of what will fall back on you. I won't ally myself with such a risk, so I won't play for your uncle at Edgar Allan. I'm sorry." 

Ichirou was silent again. It seemed like hours before he spoke again. "Look me in the eye and listen very carefully," he said. Thalia was already looking at him like he was a timebomb going to kill her and Neil any second, so she only slightly shifted her gaze. "Where I come from, a man's word is only as good as his name, and his name is only as good as the blood he has spilled for my family. You are both untested and untrue. You are not worth the air you breathe. I would balance the red in my ledger with your deaths and consider it a fair repayment." Thalia's throat went dry and she couldn't breathe for a moment until she forced herself to again.

"However," Ichirou continued. "You are your father's children, and your father was someone to me. He is the reason I came down here and spoke to you when I could have gotten someone else to do it for me. Do you know what I will do if I think you are wasting my time? Do you know what I will do to everyone you have ever met? I will kill each person who stands by you and make each death last a lifetime."

"What can we do to convince you we're telling the truth?" Thalia asked, afraid of the answer.

"Nothing," Ichirou said. Thalia's heart beat in her ears and she didn't understand the Japanese words Ichirou said to the drivers up the front. She was going to die today, and she would never get to say goodbye to any of the Foxes. Never get to say goodbye to Kevin. Kevin, who she loved more than life itself. Kevin, who would be broken after he heard the news. Kevin, who would likely never move on.

"Perhaps your lives have price tags after all." Thalia looked up when Ichirou spoke, her head clearing and dark thoughts being replaced by disgustingly hopeful ones. "Eighty percent of your earnings for the entirety of your careers will be sufficient. I expect the same from Moreau and Day; it is only fair considering my family funded their training." Ichirou explained. Thalia felt her heart sink and then lift in realisation that she wasn't going to die. Wasn't going to drop dead on the spot. She'd get to live her life, and she and Kevin wouldn't have to be split up. "Someone will be in contact to make arrangements. If you fail to make the cut after graduation, the deal is forfeit and you will be executed. Do you understand?"

"Yes, my lord," Thalia said. "We understand. I will talk with Kevin and Jean. We will not fail you." Neil gave a short nod, obviously still coming to terms with his freedom.

"Then for now you are dismissed." Ichirous said, and Neil and Thalia climbed out of the car and as soon as the two cars drove away, the two gripped each other in a fierce hug that made every new burn and cut on Thalia's body ache, but it was worth it. They were free. She felt like she was going to cry, but as they silently walked back to Fox tower, only one thought ran through Thalia's mind; how will Kevin and Jean react?


	77. LXXVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> COME ON EILEEN
> 
> 'At this moment, you mean everything  
> With you in that dress, oh my thoughts I confess  
> Verge on dirty  
> Ah come on Eileen'

It turned out that Kevin wasn't expecting what Neil and Thalia had to say. 

"We need to talk," Neil said as he walked into Kevin's dorm. He was sitting at his desk, no doubt working on some history assignment. Kevin looked up in confusion. "Now. Come on, sit on the couch."

"What is it?" Kevin demanded, looking between Neil and Thalia. "Is everything okay?"

"Ichirou came to see us," Thalia said, her head hanging down and her elbows on her knees as she sat on the sofa. Kevin was shocked. She didn't need to look up to know that.

"No," he said. "He wouldn't. He won't even see Riko."

"I'm texting Andrew. He deserves to know this too, and I'm not repeating it again." Thalia said, pulling out her phone. She sent off a quick text to him which she didn't get a reply from. Thalia stood and headed over to where the grate had been taken off one of the windows so Andrew could smoke inside. She pushed the window open and lit up a cigarette.

"You need to stop that," Neil said. Thalia looked at him with a dead expression as she blew smoke out of the window.

"Hypocrite," she said. Neil sighed and sat down.

When Andrew came in through the door, two packages in hand, Thalia stubbed out her cigarette and pulled the window closed. "Great, everyone's here. Let me get Jean on speakerphone and then we can start this meeting."

Thalia called the number Jeremy had sent her and said was Jean's. It rang for a few seconds before picking up.

"Hello? What do you want this time, Thalia?" Jean's voice came through hoarse as if he'd been sleeping. Thalia looked at the broken clock on the wall and realised he probably had been. "You do realise it's like two in the morning, right?"

"Yeah, sorry not sorry." Thalia said and put the phone on speaker. "You're on speaker with Neil, Kevin and Andrew in the room. We need to talk. Ichirou Moriyama just paid us a visit, and I doubt he'll come to you. So we're going to talk to you about it."

"What? No, he wouldn't." Jean said. Thalia rolled her eyes and put the phone between everybody on the small coffee table.

"He did, and it's not something to joke about, so let us explain what happened." Neil said. Then the two of them explained to the room why Ichirou had visited, how he'd decided to spare their lives, and what it would cost them. 

"We're assets of the main family now," Thalia summed up. "The King's lost all his men and there's nothing he can do about it without crossing his brother." She looked from her own brother, to Andrew standing at his side, and finally to Kevin with a small nod. "We're safe. For good."

No sound came from the phone other than a choked breath, and Kevin tried to find the words to say, but found nothing worth saying. Neil stood and followed Andrew out of the dorm. Andrew left one of the packages he'd been carrying on the coffee table and sent Thalia a look that meant it was for her.

"You alright there, Jean?" Thalia asked him. "Is Jeremy there with you?"

"He's asleep, I think." Jean said, and there was a crinkling sound that could have been Jean turning around. "Yeah, asleep." he turned again. "I don't know what to say. What does Kevin look like right now?" Thalia looked at the man in question. He was looking down at his left hand with a thoughtful look.

"He's coping." Thalia said. Then Kevin looked up at her. "I'll let you go now, Jean. That was everything we had to say. It would probably be best if you only told Jeremy about this, okay? We'll talk later." Then Thalia hung up the phone and she and Kevin sat in silence for a moment before he leaned forward and retched onto the carpet. Thalia rushed to get the bin, but when she returned, there wasn't anything on the floor or coming out of Kevin's mouth. She set it in front of Kevin just in case and sat by him again. Thalia rubbed his back in a comforting way.

"You're going to be okay, Kevin." Thalia said. "Everything's going to be okay now. Do you believe me? I hope you do, because it would be a real shame if you didn't."

When Kevin stopped dry heaving, Thalia helped him sit up again. She got him a glass of water that he downed within a few seconds. Thalia was afraid he'd vomit it up again, but the water stayed down, and Kevin put his head in his hands. 

"How can you be so calm about this?" he asked quietly. "About any of this?"

"I don't know." Thalia said honestly. "I guess it just means that I have some sort of freedom, even if it's managed."

When Kevin calmed down, Thalia turned in her seat, bringing one leg up and folding it under herself. Kevin turned to face her as well, leaning back on the sofa. "Did you mean what you said at the cabin?" Thalia asked. Kevin rolled his head to look at her in confusion. "Well, you didn't really say it, but, I mean," Thalia fumbled her words. Kevin understood what she was trying to ask.

"Yeah, I guess I did." He said with a shrug. Thalia smiled. "Is that okay?" he asked nervously. Her eyes widened.

"Of course, Kevin," Thalia said supportively. She took Kevin's hand. "I wouldn't care if you told me you were from space. It wouldn't change the way I feel about you." Kevin smiled one of those rare smiles only Thalia really got to see.

"Thank you. That means a lot. Jean helped me figure it out when I was in the nest." Kevin said. Thalia nodded and kissed his cheek. Then she turned to the package Andrew had left her and opened it, finding a pair of black armbands identical to his own. She slipped them on and found they were her size. They even had stitched in sheathes like Andrew's did. Thalia figured that's what he'd given Neil as well.

"Wow, is Andrew starting a club?" Kevin asked sarcastically. Thalia rolled her eyes but silently thanked Andrew. She wasn't in a hurry to be showing people her new injuries that would form into scars in no time. 

"Yeah, I guess you weren't invited because your pain is on the inside." She said and pushed a finger against Kevin's chest. He chuckled and kissed her.


	78. LXXVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MR BRIGHTSIDE
> 
> 'Now they're going to bed  
> And my stomach is sick  
> And it's all in my head'

When they told the rest of the Foxes, they'd been ecstatic. Even Aaron, who'd been even quieter than usual since their trip to the mountains, perked up enough to offer congratulations.

However, Kevin clearly still felt uneasy about the whole situation, despite Thalia comforting him about it and seeming alright. He missed many shots, even easy ones, and sat alone during breaks. Thalia decided to let him figure it out on his own. He needed the time to think. She stopped Dan from trying to talk to him about it, and she didn't press, which Thalia was thankful for.

Andrew had given a quick nod at the bands Thalia was wearing and she didn't miss the ones Neil had. When Dan and Matt managed to get everyone downtown for dinner, even Kevin, who clearly just wanted to stay in and drink away his problems, they made a few jokes about the bands. Nicky sarcastically asked if Andrew was starting a cult, much like the question Kevin had joked about with Thalia earlier, but less teasing.

When they got back, Kevin went straight to the bathroom of his dorm and stared at his own face. Thalia figured he was looking at the number, but let him be. If he wanted to do something about it, he would. She stood next to Andrew, blowing smoke out of the window, Neil on the desk beside him, when Kevin walked out of the bathroom and stood in front of all three of them.

"Take me to the court," he said to no one in particular. Andrew stubbed out his cigarette and Thalia pulled the window closed, doing the same with hers. She didn't intend on following the boys to the court tonight, so as they headed to the stairs, she kissed Kevin's cheek and bid them all goodnight, going back to her own room.

⥎  
⥐

Thalia was sitting in an alleyway, plastic bag open as she rummaged through it. She looked at the contents of the bag and then stood, taking the bag with her. When she reached a public bathroom, she entered it and locked the door behind herself. Thalia took out the box of hair dye and read the instructions before applying the bleach to her hair. She had to wait in the bathroom for it to dry - which took hours - but she'd also stolen a book to keep her occupied. 

Thalia washed out the excess in the sink and then walked out again. By then it was dark, and there were police officers circling the park. Thalia ran across the field and ditched the book she'd wanted to take with her but knew would be stupid to do. 

When she reached her house some hours later, Thalia climbed up the pipes on the side of the house to the second story, where she quietly opened the window and jumped into the bedroom. 

Thalia knew she was safe because her current foster parents went to bed at nine o'clock, and didn't really care where Thalia was at any time of the day or night. She turned the light on and turned, not expecting what she found.

There was a woman sitting on her single bed, holding a gun that was pointed at Thalia. She had a look of indifference on her face. Thalia's eyes widened but the woman clicked off the safety, showing Thalia she wouldn't hesitate to shoot if she made a move. 

"Who are you?" Thalia whispered. She knew she wouldn't be heard. Samuel Deakins snored like a pig, and his wife was mostly deaf. It's why they worked so well together. "What do you want?"

"That doesn't matter," The woman said, her voice smooth and uncaring. "What does matter, is that you are going to come with me downstairs and outside, and then we are going to get into my car, and I will take you somewhere," she smiled then, an unsettling thing. "And I will kill you." 

Thalia's breath caught in her throat. A breeze came in from the window, and Thalia had a plan. "And if I don't?" She asked, hoping her voice wasn't as shaky as she felt.

"Then I'll just kill you right here, and then those foster parents of yours."

Thalia had to move quickly - but she was good at that. Thalia grabbed a vase that was sitting on her desk and threw it at the woman. She shot at the vase, and Thalia took the distraction to run and jump out of her window.

Thalia braced herself for the impact, and her knees buckled anyway. Something snapped, but Thalia didn't have the time to worry about that at the moment. The woman's car had to have been unlocked - it would make too much noise unlocking and locking it again all the time and closing the doors - so she limped for the unfamiliar red car she'd missed before.

Thalia got in, and by the time the woman threw open the front door to the house, Thalia had hotwired it and was already reversing out of the driveway.

⥎  
⥐

She shot upright in her bed, breathing heavily and sweating. Thalia looked around, disoriented for a moment. Then she remembered she was in the Fox tower and sighed with relief. Thalia held her head in her hands and muttered the same words she said to herself every night to get to sleep; "My name is Thalia Josten. I am eighteen years old. I am a substitute striker for the Palmetto University Foxes exy team. I am going to be okay."

It was like a chant. But it helped, and Thalia climbed down the ladder and quietly opened the door to her bedroom. Thalia took a few minutes to get used to the light of the bathroom and then she walked over to the sink.

Just like Kevin had done hours earlier, Thalia stared at her reflection. Namely the number four tattooed on her left cheekbone. She'd had time to come to terms with the fact that it was there and would probably be there forever.

My name is Thalia Josten. I am eighteen years old. I am a substitute striker for the Palmetto University Foxes exy team. I am going to be okay.

Then Thalia walked over and locked the door. She returned to the mirror and splashed water on her face to get rid of the sweat and decided she'd have a shower. She'd need to get up in a few hours anyway to have one before meeting the rest of the team at the gym. Thalia doubted she'd get back to sleep after the memory that had played through her mind in her dreams.

My name is Thalia Josten. I am eighteen years old. I am a substitute striker for the Palmetto University Foxes exy team. I am going to be okay.

She turned on the showerhead and stripped her clothes down to the floor, even the armbands she'd worn to bed. Then Thalia stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain closed. Thalia reached for the soap bar but hesitated when she saw the three shavers the girls used. She frowned and retreated her hand. 

My name is Thalia Josten. I am eighteen years old. I am a substitute striker for the Palmetto University Foxes exy team. I am going to be okay.

Thalia couldn't remember what she'd done to herself or why, but she looked down at her thighs - something she'd vowed never to do - and knew that at some point in her life, whether it be on the run or in the nest the first time around, Thalia hadn't been strong enough. She needed to be strong now. She needed to make it to finals.

My name is Thalia Josten. I am eighteen years old. I am a substitute striker for the Palmetto University Foxes exy team. I am going to be okay.

But there was something Thalia in. If she was going to have to owe her life to the yakuza, was it really living? If Ichirou Moriyama owned for her the rest of her career and some considerable time after, was it really worth living? Thalia reached for her blade and popped it off the stick. She turned it over in her fingers, considering the blade. It was new. She'd gotten it when she'd returned from the mountains only days ago.

My name is Thalia Josten. I am eighteen years old. I am a substitute striker for the Palmetto University Foxes exy team. And I am not okay.


	79. LXXVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FRIEND OF A FRIEND
> 
> 'When you walk right through that door  
> You see my eyes, I see yours  
> Maybe this could be our dance'

Neil was woken by his name being spoken angrily and a hand gently on his shoulder. He blinked and sat up. Andrew was standing above him, eyebrows drawn into a hard line. Neil stood, knowing something was wrong. Andrew often looked bored, not worried and slightly murderous.

"What?" Neil asked the one word question. He looked around. Matt was nowhere to be found. Something was definitely wrong. "What is it?"

"Thalia," was all Andrew said before Neil was out of the room and down the hall, no matter that he was still in his pyjamas. He burst through the girl's door and saw the rest of the team crowding around the bathroom door. Neil had an idea of what had happened, but he refused to believe.

Kevin was right by the door, banging on it and crying. He was calling for Thalia to open the door. Demanding it, even. Neil pushed his way to Kevin's side and then grabbed him, pushing him against the door.

"What the fuck is happening?" Neil asked in a deadly tone. There were tears on Kevin's cheeks, but Neil didn't care.

"Thalia locked herself in the bathroom," Dan explained from behind Neil. He let go of Kevin and turned to look at her while he was listening. "I don't know, maybe around six thirty? I heard the water cut on at about quarter to seven. I assumed she was just having a shower, so I tried to go back to sleep, but the water didn't stop. It hasn't stopped since." then Neil looked down and realised water was flooding out of the bathroom.

"No, she wouldn't," Neil muttered, turning back to the door. "Not again."

"Again?" Nicky asked, unsure of himself. Neil didn't answer his question.

"We've sent Aaron and Matt to get help. She's barricaded the door, or we would just take out the hinges." Allison said. Neil was thinking of everything that could be happening. She might already be dead, but his mind refused to believe it. Neil's eyes flicked to a clock on the wall. Ten past seven. It had been twenty five minutes. It was a possibility Neil didn't think on any longer.

"Move out of the way!" a voice yelled. Neil and the others did, and a fireman, followed by another, barged into the room. They didn't ask what had happened, and Neil figured Matt and Aaron had filled them in on the way up. The two discussed the best way to get Thalia out of the bathroom when she'd barricaded the door, while a firewoman herded the Foxes out of the dorm room.

A lot of other athletes were crowding the hallway, wanting to see what had happened and why there were fire trucks parked outside in the carpark.

Abby rushed out of the elevator and headed straight for the team, closely followed by Wymack. "What happened?" Wymack asked Neil, who explained what Thalia had done. Abby headed straight for Kevin, who was still a mess on the floor of the hall. "Fucking damnit," Wymack cursed and looked around. "Well, what are you looking at?" he yelled to the athletes, who scattered. "This is exactly what we need - another Janie."

"This is nothing like Janie," Neil said, though he hadn't been around back then, just like Thalia hadn't been around when Seth had been alive. He knew enough about the incident, though, to know his sister wasn't attempting suicide. She never had been. It had always been about punishment, never death. "She wasn't trying to kill herself, she never was when she did that. It was a punishment to herself. She told me, once, when we were on the run. She'd done it a few times already," Neil said. "And told me it was a way to escape. To feel adequate, were her words. She thought she wasn't strong enough. It's what our mother told her the second we got her out of Evermore."

Wymack was silent at that and ran a hand down his face. Not long after, the firemen emerged, victorious. They carried an unconscious and mostly naked Thalia past the team and down the stairs. Kevin made a choking sound and Neil turned to look at him. He had his hand clamped over his mouth and was staring at where the firemen had disappeared with Thalia in their arms.

From the short glance Neil had gotten of her, there was blood on Thalia's inner thighs and arms, like she'd picked the scabs there. She probably had. Neil knew it would have bled a lot.

It took him a moment to gather himself, but then Neil was running after them, down the stairs. Despite Wymack's call for him, Neil kept going. The ambulance and two fire engines were still there when he made it downstairs, and Neil headed for the packed ambulance.

"Is she alive?" he asked desperately. One of the paramedics turned to Neil.

"Yes, son, she's alive," he said. "But barely. We need to get her to the hospital as soon as possible." He paused. "Are you a boyfriend? Or a relative?"

"I'm her brother," Neil said. The man nodded.

"Come on, do you want to ride with us?" he asked. Neil turned back to the tower where the other Foxes were just coming out of the building, and then back to the man.

"Yes." Neil said and climbed in. They closed the doors behind him and Neil sat down where the paramedic said he could. Neil looked at Thalia's unconscious form and tried not to stare at the fresh wounds. There were three straight lines on each thigh, and all the scabs on her arms had been picked, and, Neil thought, likely stretched open in order to bleed more. She had a tube in her mouth removing water, and another pumping in oxygen. Neil took her cold, pruned hand and held it tightly in his. There was a weak pulse under his finger, and Neil prayed to a God he didn't believe in to let her survive this.


	80. LXXIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CRAZY=GENIUS
> 
> 'She said at night in my dreams  
> You dance on a tightrope of weird  
> Oh but when I wake up you're so normal that you just disappear  
> You're so straight like commuters with briefcases towing the line  
> There's no residue of a torturer inside your of eyes'

Neil didn't leave his sister's side until Wednesday, when he was forced to go to the stadium for interviews. But Kevin refused to leave, even then, and remained at Thalia's bedside in the hospital until she woke up on Thursday evening.

"Thalia?" Kevin asked when her heartrate spiked and then went back to normal. She moved her head and her eyes fluttered open. Kevin slid off his chair and knelt by her side. Thalia rolled her head to look at Kevin with half-closed eyes. "Oh my God," Kevin muttered and took Thalia's hand in his. "Thank goodness you're alright." He didn't say anything else, only listening to her breathing and the monitors beeping.

"Kevin," Thalia croaked and Kevin looked into her eyes. "Kevin, what happened? What did I do?" Kevin drew his eyebrows together. How could she not know? Kevin scooted forward further on his knees and traced Thalia's face with a hand.

"Neil said you weren't trying to kill yourself," Kevin started. He didn't know what he could say. How could Thalia not remember doing what she did? She'd cut her skin so badly that she had to have it stitched back up. The doctors couldn't just put bandages over it and kiss it better. "That it was just a punishment. Was it? A punishment?" 

Thalia stayed quiet for a few seconds and then hummed. "Even though Ichirou spared us, I thought it wasn't worth it. It's not really freedom. Not really living if there's a purpose. Because once you fulfill that purpose, you're nothing but a liability."

"Thalia," Kevin said, not really understanding, but seeing why Thalia would think like that. "Thalia, he's not going to kill you once you retire, if that's what you're worried about. They all know we're not stupid enough to go blabbing about any of this. He knows we wouldn't do that, otherwise he would have killed us as soon as he got into power." Kevin tried to reason. "You are free, Thalia."

⥎  
⥐

Kevin told the team that Thalia was awake at practice that night, and that she'd asked to see them all. Not at the same time, but over the course of the next day, all Foxes visited her. 

Thalia saw Neil first, who didn't say much, only really asking if she was alright. Thalia had given a huff of a laugh and said 'I'm fine' which had gotten a smile out of Neil.

Nicky was next in, and gave her a few of her things from the dorm. Thalia smiled and thanked him, letting Nicky ramble about nothing for the five minutes he was allowed to spend with her.

Dan and Matt came in next, and the three of them played some card games. They had initially asked her if she was okay, but then they acted like nothing was wrong. That everything was normal. Thalia was thankful.

Renee and Allison followed, Allison with some bathroom necessities and home baked goods, and Renee asking if they were treating her alright. Thalia told them she was feeling better, and Renee nodded, understanding that she didn't want to talk about it.

Aaron only visited to give Thalia a card that Katelyn had made her. The cheerleaders had all signed it, even though most of them only knew Thalia's name. She thanked Aaron and he left without another word.

That left Andrew, who came in, sat down in the chair, and opened a book. He started reading out loud, and Thalia closed her eyes and listened. It was poetry. She didn't know why he was reading her poetry, but Thalia would take it. It was very relaxing, actually. Thalia figured it helped Andrew calm down, so he was using it to calm Thalia down as well. Before he left, Andrew pulled a canvas out of his bag and put it next to the door. It had Thalia's number eleven on it and PALMETTO STATE FOXES across the top. Two exy racquets crossed in the center behind the eleven, and it was all in orange. There was writing and signatures all over the canvas, in black sharpie. Thalia couldn't read it from where she was, but knew it was from the team. As soon as she could get up, Thalia would read what the canvas said. But for now, she was confined to her bed.

Kevin visited about an hour before he had to be at the stadium for the game, with a chessboard and pieces in his hand. He placed them on Thalia's lap on the bed and set up the pieces. "But how will we decide who plays which colour?" Thalia asked. Kevin smiled and handed her the white pieces. "Kevin," Thalia started, but Kevin wasn't hearing it. She smiled and shook her head - something she could now do and not be too dizzy - and placed her pieces down.

The two played until Kevin had to leave. "I'll see you later. I love you Thalia." Kevin said, kissing her on the forehead. Thalia reached up and pulled his collar down to kiss her on the lips. Kevin didn't argue, and leaned into the kiss. He put a hand on her cheek and deepened it, but there was a knock on the door and Kevin pulled away. Thalia glared at Allison who was grinning in the doorway.

"I'll be watching," Thalia said, pointing to the television currently playing the news on mute. "I love you too." And Kevin left.

Thalia did watch the game, and frowned when Kevin entered the court right-handed. He'd told her that he was getting better with his left, and that he was wanting to play with it soon. Thalia had figured he meant that Friday night, but then guessed he was saving it up for some big finale. The finals against the Ravens that every Fox was determined would be happening. Thalia wanted to believe it, but they were playing the Trojans next week, and she doubted they'd win against them at their height. The Trojans did have many more players than the Foxes, after all.

The Foxes won, seven-five, but that wasn't the thing people were talking about. Kevin made a few controversial points in the post-game interviews that night, and Thalia was cackling in her hospital bed at the reporters reactions.

"I don't want to talk about the Ravens anymore," Kevin said. "Ever since my mother died it's been Ravens this and Ravens that. I am not a Raven anymore. I never will be again. To be honest, I never should have been one in the first place. I should have gone to Coach Wymack the day I found out he was my father and asked to start my freshman year at Palmetto State." Thalia's eyes went wide and then her lips crept into a smile.

"The day -" The reporter paused for a moment and Thalia laughed. "Did you just say Coach Wymack is your father?"

"Yes, I did." Kevin said. "I found out when I was in high school, but I didn't tell him because I thought I wanted to stay at Edgar Allan. Back then I thought the only way to be a champion was to be a Raven. I bought into their lies that they would make me the best player on the court. I shouldn't have believed it. I've been wearing this number long enough to realise that's not what they wanted for me."

Kevin paused for a moment and then continued, not giving the reporter another chance to speak. "Everyone knows the Ravens are about being the best. Best pair, best line-up, best team. They drill it into you day after day, make you believe it, make you forget that in the end, 'best' means 'one'. They let you forget until other people but into it, be it fans swaying too far the wrong way or the ERC calling them out on their schemes." Thalia was smiling and cackling and some nurses ducked in to make sure she was alright. They ended up staying to watch Kevin chew out the Ravens, even if they had no idea who he was or what he was talking about. "Then they don't want to play that game anymore, and they skip straight to the elimination round. Did you know I've never been skiing? I'd like to try it one day, though." Thalia was clapping and congratulating Kevin by the end of his little speech, and the nurses filed out of the room. "Would you tell the Ravens to be ready for us? We're already ready for them."


	81. LXXX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOME
> 
> 'Ah, home, let me come home  
> Home is wherever I'm with you'

Thalia was allowed out of the hospital on Sunday afternoon. The doctors were satisfied that they'd pumped her with enough blood and that her stitches would hold. One member of the team just had to be with her at all times. Not that she wasn't already. She sat in the stands at practice on Monday morning and afternoon, and as for her classes, all her teachers were made aware that she wasn't allowed out of the classroom without another student with her. 

Thalia knew she wouldn't be playing against the Trojans the next Friday, but just being there to support the rest of her team was enough. When people saw her, they went wild, because apparently people had thought her dead. It was fair enough, Thalia realised. She hadn't been seen since Baltimore, and so people would have assumed things. Assumed she was dead. 

"We don't have that to our advantage anymore," Thalia muttered to Kevin as they entered the locker room. "Riko will know before the end of the night."

"Fuck Riko," Dan said. Thalia raised her eyebrow and smiled slightly in amusement.

"I mean, sure, but don't actually." Thalia said. That made Nicky laugh. 

"We don't have USC's line-up," Wymack asked a staff member when they stopped by. 

"I'll see if I can get it." She said. Wymack nodded in thanks and then when she closed the door, turned to his team. "Kevin, Dan, think about what you're going to say at pre-game."

"Should I go with? Just to let people know that I'm not actually dead?" Thalia asked, raising a shaky hand. Even three weeks after her injuries, she was still feeling the impact, and quickly lowered her hand. 

"No, Thalia. You stay here for now." Wymack said. She nodded. "But you can sit on the bench during the game." Thalia smiled. She'd been surprised the Foxes were actually allowed to play last week, with both Thalia and Neil out, but she supposed they were still on the team, so it had been allowed.

"Does 'We're excited to be here' and 'We're going to do our best' cover everything?" Dan asked slightly nervously.

"How about 'We're gonna own these losers'?" Nicky said sarcastically, and Thalia smiled. That made Nicky smile even wider. He'd been spending the past week trying to make Thalia smile. She was grateful for his efforts, and genuinely felt better.

"And that's why you're not allowed to do press," Matt said dryly. Thalia laughed and Matt raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. It was funny. 

"Then why is Neil allowed to talk to the press?" Thalia asked. Everyone looked at Neil, who rolled his eyes and stood to go get changed. Everyone but Thalia followed. 

When the Foxes went out to the benches, Thalia looked around and smiled. The stadium was packed, and they'd been told there were multiple news stations and recruiters from major summer leagues and pro teams in attendance. Somehow, though, it didn't make Thalia more nervous for her team. It only made her excited.

She looked across the court and saw the Trojans, but, more importantly, Jeremy Knox walking across the court. Thalia followed Kevin and Wymack to meet Jeremy when he reached their side of the court. She smiled and shook her head at him. Jeremy's serious expression fell into a smile when he saw the team.

"Coach Wymack, welcome to SoCal," Jeremy said, shaking Wymack's hand. "We're excited to host you tonight." Wymack nodded. Then Jeremy turned to Kevin and Thalia at Wyamck's side. "Kevin, you crazy fool, you never cease to amaze me. You've got a thing for controversial teams, I think. But I like this one much better than the last."

"They're mediocre at best but they're easier to get along with." Kevin said. Thalia rolled her eyes and Jeremy laughed.

"Same old Kevin, as unforgiving and obnoxious as always. Some things never change." His tone was friendly, however. Thalia smiled at their friendship. "Some things do," he looked at Thalia.

"Hello Jeremy, it's nice to see you again." Thalia said. Jeremy shook his head at her.

"You turned down my team for the Foxes?" he asked jokingly.

"I wasn't thinking about exy at the time you approached me. It's why I didn't agree to your contract." Thalia said and Jeremy nodded in understanding. "How is Jean, by the way?" she asked, a knowing smile on her face.

"He's doing just fine, adjusting to life with us." Jeremy said. Thalia nodded. He handed Wymack a folded piece of paper. "Our line-up," He said. "I know it's a little late to be getting it to you, but we were trying to avoid as much backlash as possible." Thalia frowned at that. Wymak skimmed over the paper.

"Backlash?" Dan asked, as confused as the rest of the team. Wymack handed her the paper and shook his head at Jeremy.

"Your pity's misplaced." he said. "Tell Coach Rhemann we don't want any handouts."

"This isn't pity," Jeremy explained. "We're doing this for us, not you. Your success this year has us rethinking everything about how we play. Are we second because we're talented, or because we have twenty-eight people on our line-up? Are we good enough as individuals to stand against you? We have to know."

Kevin took the paper out of Dan's hands and Thalia looked at it over her shoulder. One..two..three...ten players. There were only nine players on the Trojans' line-up for the game.

"You're joking. You're joking." Matt said, also reading over Kevin's shoulder. "You're not?" Jeremy shook his head in confirmation. Allison pulled his sleeve, wanting an explanation. "There are only ten names."

"And you called Kevin crazy." Thalia mumbled, hoping Jeremy wouldn't catch it. 

"Two goalies, three backliners, two dealers and three strikers," Jeremy said. "You've made it this far with those numbers. It's time to see how we'd fare in that situation. I'm excited," he smiled widely. "We've never played a full game before. Hell, most of us don't even play full halves. We don't have to because the numbers are always in our favour."

"You'll lose," Thalia said, looking up at Jeremy.

"Maybe, maybe not," Jeremy said with a shrug. "It'll be fun either way, though, right? I can't remember ever being this psyched for a game." Jeremy laughed. "Bring it Foxes, and we'll bring it too."

"See, the optimism is part of why I said no." Thalia said to the Foxes once Jeremy had left. She shook her head and went to sit down on the bench. She'd be the only one sitting out the whole game, but she could watch and figure out how she'd play against the Ravens in two weeks time. They were going to win, no doubt about it. The Trojans didn't stand a chance. They weren't prepared for the intensity of full games. And there wasn't any doubt in her mind about the Ravens winning their game, either. The Foxes would make it to finals this year. And Thalia would beat Riko. She'd finally beat him at his own game.


	82. LXXXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> APOLOGISE
> 
> 'You tell me that you need me  
> Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
> You tell me that you're sorry  
> Didn't think I'd turn around'

The crowd was outraged at the Trojans' strategy, and the fact that they played with only nine players had lost them the game, but Thalia didn't care. It meant she got to face off with Riko in two weeks' time. She got to show him how much of an asshole he really was, and beat him at his own sport. She smiled at that, and ignored most of the cameras pointed in her face after the game.

The next Friday allowed for Thalia, Andrew, and the rest of their group to head to Columbia for the night. Thalia picked a long sleeved black dress that reached her mid-thighs and covered all of her new scars. Black seemed to be the dress code for going to Eden's Twilight, because everyone else also wore the colour.

They left late, because Neil, Kevin and Thalia wanted to watch the Trojans/Edgar Allan match. It surprised nobody that USC lost, though Kevin was still sad about it. Jeremy took their loss gracefully, and announced Jean's joining the Trojans next season. The reporter was stunned and Jeremy made a few jokes about how they'd have to help him get a tan. 

"Can you tell us why he's transferring?" The reporter asked.

"I can't get into all the details because it's not my place to tell his personal business, but I can say we're excited to have him. "Jeremy said. "I think we have a lot to learn from each other. Next year is going to be amazing. I think you're going to see a lot of changes across the board. We've all got to take another look at what we bring to the court."

Nicky reached for the remote and turned off the tv. "I've got a theory that Renee and Jeremy are long lost siblings. What do you think would happen if they ever joined forces?"

"They'd get murdered." Aaron said, standing from his place on the beanbag. "War's profitable. Nobody wants their world peace nonsense."

"You make it sound like you don't want their world peace nonsense," Thalia said. Aaron looked at her with a bored expression and a raised eyebrow. She shrugged. "You want to be working as field doctor?" Aaron stayed quiet and the six of them went down to the car together.

Andrew's new car didn't have a boot big enough to fit someone, so Thalia ended up sitting on Kevin's lap, and she wasn't exactly complaining.

They stopped at Sweetie's, and Thalia didn't miss the way Andrew didn't stop at the salad bar, where he usually picked up cracker dust. She frowned but didn't say anything about it, thinking they'd still get some from a waitress. It was only when Aaron was paying that he realised. "How many?" he asked after sifting through all the napkins on the table.

"Zero," Andrew said, bored as ever. 

"Zero?" Aaron repeated. "What do you mean, zero?"

"We're not getting any?" Nicky asked as if this was a foreign concept to him.

"Clearly, Nicholas. Now come on, we have a bar to be at and shots to drink." Thalia took Kevin's arm and left the others to bicker between themselves. Andrew and Neil followed them, and finally Aaron and Nicky joined them at the car. The ride to Eden's was silent, but Thalia didn't mind. It gave her time to focus on other things like what kind of piece she was going to make for her final assessment.

Andrew got a parking pass from Kevin and went around to the VIP area. The others headed inside, though Thalia leaned against a wall and pulled out her cigarettes. Because of the new rule she had to endure for a few weeks, Kevin stayed with her.

"I want you to stop smoking," Kevin winced. Thalia blew smoke out of her mouth and looked up at Kevin.

"And I want you to stop drinking," she said, then shrugged. "So I guess we both want things we're not going to get." Kevin frowned at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Thalia sighed and took another drag. 

"I'm just pissed that I missed last weeks game."

"It's your own fault, you know."

"I know, Kevin I know." Thalia said, squishing her cigarette under her boot and looking up at Kevin. "I'm just really busy right now. With finals coming up in both exams and exy, I just have a lot on."

"You think I don't?" he asked, slightly agitated. Thalia leaned her head against the wall and rolled it to look at Kevin. "Seriously Thalia, I don't know what's wrong with you, but figure it out and then we can talk about it." Kevin turned and went inside. Thalia sighed and followed, knowing she wasn't allowed by herself. Andrew caught up with her on the way in and she hung back to walk with him. Kevin didn't stop, obviously having seen Andrew. 

"What's his problem?" Andrew asked in German. Thalia sighed and shook her head.

"Just a little argument," Thalia replied. "We'll be over it by the end of the weekend."

"You'd better be," Andrew said. Thalia looked to him. "I don't want to admit it, but we're going to need all the help we can get next week. Even if you only play for ten minutes."

"I thought you cared about nothing," Thalia said, then looked down at Andrew. "Or has my brother changed that?" he didn't reply to that comment. Thalia didn't expect him to, but she looked ahead and smiled to herself. The silence was all the answer Thalia needed.

The two of them sidled up at the bar with the rest of the group where Nicky was telling stories and Roland, the bartender, was mixing drinks. Thalia had only heard of him. She'd never actually met the man on her trips to Columbia, opting instead to hang away from the bar.

"Don't you dare tell me you knew about them before I did! Oh my god," Nicky said, interrupting his story. "Oh my god, you did. How the hell? We just figured out a couple weeks ago. How long have you known Andrew was gay?"

"Are they a 'them' now?" Roland asked. Thalia saw he was ignoring Nicky's question.

"They'll both deny it, but yeah, they're a 'them' now." Thalia spoke. Roland flicked a smile her way.

"You must be Thalia." he said. Thalia nodded with a smile on her lips. "Well, I'll drink to that. it's about damned time."

"It's not something to be proud of," Aaron said. Thalia frowned and popped the back of his head, making him spill the shot he was bringing to his lips. Aaron looked around the others and frowned at Thalia who tilted her head in a questioning What the hell are you doing?

"Hater," Nicky said and they all downed their drinks, even Neil, which slightly surprised Thalia. Nicky spoke to Roland again when he started making more drinks. "I noticed you avoided my questions. You're not sneaky, Roland. And what did you mean by 'about damned time'?"

"You can pry that story out of Andrew," Roland said. Thalia snorted and looked around. She spotted a dart board and frowned at it. There were six darts with blue tips in the center, but nobody was around to have thrown them. They must have just been stored there.

"Good luck with that. Hey, Roland," Thalia said slightly distractedly. The bartender looked up with raised eyebrows. She pointed to the dart board. "Can I have a go?" He looked in the direction Thalia was pointing and nodded at her. "Thanks man." Thalia headed over, knowing at least one of her companions would follow her. 

Thalia took the darts out of the board and moved back a few steps. "Are you good?" Nicky asked.

"Scarily," Neil responded for her. Thalia turned and smirked before concentrating on the board. She threw the first dart and hit bullseye. She did the same with all the other five. 

"Holy shit," Nicky said in bewilderment. "How do you know how to do that?" Thalia shrugged. She walked over to the bar and handed the darts to Neil, who shook his head.

"Oh come on, Neil," she said. "You can't be that bad." he winced and took the darts, standing in front of the board where Thalia had been. She took his seat. People were starting to watch the group.

Neil hit most of the darts on the bullseye, but two strayed slightly. "That was pretty good." Neil shrugged.

"Let's make a bet," Nicky said, surprising no one. Thalia raised a brow at him. "Whichever Josten sibling gets the most bullseyes in three rounds wins."

"What do I get?" Thalia asked, getting cocky. She smiled and stood, hands on hips, in front of Nicky. "When I win."

"You're very competitive," Roland said, cleaning a glass. Thalia shrugged. Neil appeared at her side and handed her the six darts. 

"A dollar for every bullseye." Kevin suggested. Thalia nodded. That was fair. 

"Alright. I'm in." Thalia turned to her brother. "Neil? You in?" Neil shrugged. "Great! Let's go." Thalia stood at a marked position and aimed to throw her darts.

In the end, Thalia hit all but five on target, and Neil with all but seven. Thalia gained thirteen dollars from it, and bought herself a few drinks with the money the boys had handed her.


	83. LXXXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> END OF THE DAY
> 
> 'I told her that I loved her, was not sure if she heard  
> The roof was pretty windy and she didn't say a word  
> Party dying downstairs, had nothing left to do  
> Just me, her, and the moon'

There had been interviews when Thalia and Neil had returned to ask about what had happened in Baltimore, and who they really were, but, of course, Thalia had missed it. So another interview was set up, now that the world knew she was still alive, and on the Tuesday before the Foxes vs Ravens rematch for the finals, Thalia and the rest of her team sat in the foyer, answering questions. Thalia answered most of them, however, there were a few for the other members of the Foxes.

"Thalia, is it true that Riko Moriyama threatened you? Is that why you transferred to Edgar Allan?" "Are you back on the Fox line for good?" "Why didn't you play against the Trojans?" "Are the rumours about Thalia and Kevin dating true?"

"Hold on, who said that last one?" Thalia said, standing to see the crowd of faces. A woman raised her hand. "Okay, well I can answer that one," she continued. "Yes, Kevin and I are dating, and if anyone has a problem with that, they can keep it to themselves because neither of us give a fuck about what you think of our relationship." As soon as Thalia sat back down, the questions started coming again.

After the interview, Wymack told the team that the championship game was going to be held at Castle Evermore. Thalia wasn't happy, but she wasn't surprised, either. The Foxhole Court wasn't big enough to fit as many people as would show up for the game, but Thalia still wasn't excited about going back there so soon after getting out, despite how she left.

Then he handed out a clipboard. There was a section behind the away team bench for friends and family that the Foxes could fill. There were eighteen seats for them all, but Andrew and Nicky passed it along without further question. Aaron wrote down one name, which Thalia assumed was Katelyn's, then passed it to Renee, who also wrote one name. Thalia didn't want to see Stephanie Walker again, though she knew it was inevitable. Allison gave it to Matt without hesitation, who added his parents and whoever his father's current mistress was. Thalia hesitated. There was only one person who'd believed in her and helped her get where she was today - one other person who wasn't part of the Foxes, of course - but she looked up at Andrew first. He seemed to understand her and only looked away, giving Thalia the answer she needed. So she wrote the name and handed it to Dan, knowing there wouldn't be anyone for Kevin or Neil to write down.

On their way out, Thalia grabbed Kevin's arm and led him to the court. She sat on the bleachers and Kevin sat next to her. They sat in silence until Thalia sighed and ran a hand through her hair, turning her head to look at Kevin.

"I'm sorry for what I said the other night at Eden's," Thalia said. Kevin turned his head and frowned down at her. "I was just frustrated that I didn't get to play, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I was wrong, and selfish, and only thinking about myself. I'm sorry."

"You already said you were sorry," Kevin said after a minute's silence. Thalia smiled and kissed him. He put one hand on her cheek and the other around Thalia's waist. Things started to get heated, and Thalia's eyes fluttered closed.

"Not in my stadium! Get out!" a voice called, pulling the two apart. Thalia jumped away from Kevin and looked to where the voice came from. Coach Wymack stood at the entrance to the tunnel with his arms folded across his chest and a serious expression on his face. Thalia looked back at Kevin who was looking away sheepishly, and then back to Wymack with a big smile on her face.

"No problem coach!" Thalia yelled back. Wymack shook his head and left.

⥎  
⥐

That night, Aaron and Nicky showed up unexpectedly to the night practice, and on Friday the upperclassmen joined, too.

"We don't have enough time to teach them all the right drills," Kevin said to Thalia.

"I can get Allison and Dan doing the dealer drills Riko made me do," Thalia offered and Kevin nodded, heading over to the rest of the team. He split everyone up into teams; Neil would work with Nicky Aaron and Matt, teaching them the backliner drills from his time at Evermore at Christmas, and Kevin would work with Renee and Andrew in goal. Thalia took Dan and Allison to the other end of the court and showed them the footwork, drills, and techniques that she'd picked up in her months - and earlier years - at the nest. 

"You guys are picking up on these pretty quickly," Thalia said with a proud smile on her face. On Tuesday night, they started doing scrimmages with all the new drills they'd done at night, and it seemed to have paid off, especially doing it all in separate groups. Thalia played only with her right hand, still afraid Riko would scream at her and threaten to break her left if she dared play with both.

"I need you to play with both hands," Kevin said to her on Thursday afternoon in the library. Thalia looked up from her book. "I know I've asked you to do this before, and you said yes then. So what's been stopping you now?" she sighed and bookmarked her page.

"Riko would yell at me every time I used my left," Thalia said in French so that nobody around them could understand. Kevin's face showed understanding, as if remembering it happening when they were children as well. Thalia shook her head. "I'm afraid, Kevin. I'm afraid that he'll threaten me again." she whispered this time. Kevin's face turned to stone.

"How did he threaten you, Thalia?" Kevin asked. Thalia only answered by picking up his left hand gently and tracing the white scars on the back of it. "Oh my god," he sighed in realisation. "Lia, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have asked if I had known." Thalia shushed him.

"It's okay, Kevin." Thalia said, looking into his green eyes. "It's fine. I'm fine. And I don't normally make deals, but if Andrew's taught me anything, it's that they can be effective. So I'll make you a deal," Thalia said. Kevin frowned but let her continue. "I play with both hands tomorrow, and you come with me tonight. I'm taking you somewhere as a surprise. It might be out to dinner, and it might be somewhere to leave you so that I can go back and join the Ravens, letting the Foxes lose and die of humiliation." Kevin's eyes widened and Thalia laughed. "I'm kidding, Kevin. I would never do that. The point is that it's a surprise, okay?"

"Okay. I'll do it," Kevin nodded. Thalia smiled and nodded as well.

"Well then," she said. "Let's get back to studying."


	84. LXXXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LEGEND
> 
> 'Here we go, here we go  
> It's my turn to make history  
> Here we go, here we go  
> When I'm gone they'll remember me'

When Thalia and Kevin stumbled into Kevin's dorm room in the early hours of Friday morning, Kevin could hardly stand, he was so drunk. Thalia had to hold him up and fish his keys out of his pocket. Neil was pacing the room when Thalia entered with Kevin falling to the ground. he came over to help her put Kevin on one of the beanbag chairs. She closed the door and sighed. She'd had two drinks, needing to drive home and knowing Kevin needed the alcohol, but Thalia was still feeling the effects of it like a truck.

"What happened?" Neil asked, looking between Thalia and Kevin, but, more specifically, the bandages on their cheeks. Kevin motioned to his face and Neil pulled the gauze off his cheek. It still shocked Thalia, even after she'd seen it being put onto his face. Neil looked back at Thalia in disbelief and expectation. Thalia sighed and removed her own bandage.

"You did it," Neil said to Kevin. Kevin rolled his head lazily and looked up at Neil.

"Let Riko be king." he said, his words slurred. "Most coveted, most protected. He'll sacrifice every piece he has to protect his throne. Whatever. Me?" he gestured himself. "I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board." Kevin quoted what Thalia had written on the painting she'd made him months ago. She smiled at the realisation.

"Queen," Andrew said from the doorway to the bedroom. He was leaning on the doorframe and had his arms crossed, a passive look on his face. He flicked his gaze over to Thalia. "And Bishop. Why Bishop?"

"They were second to the King and Queen in medieval times," Thalia said, shrugging. "Kevin was a little more sober when he told me that." Andrew nodded once and crossed the room to Kevin. He grabbed his chin in his hand and tilted his face so he could see Kevin's new tattoo.

"Riko is going to be furious."

"Fuck Riko," Kevin spat. "Waste of time to be angry. Fuck all of them. They should be afraid." There was silence as Neil replaced Kevin's bandage, and Thalia did the same with her own. Andrew's lips curled into a smile. It was different to the ones he'd had when he was on his medication. This was the real Andrew. The one Cass had seen and wanted to adopt. 

"Now it's finally getting fun," Andrew said.

"Finally," Thalia spoke. "You guys got him? I'm going to head to bed." Neil nodded. "Alright, goodnight." she slipped out the door and put her key into the lock of her own dorm. Thalia quietly turned the knob and stepped inside. Nobody was up, luckily, but Thalia didn't want to bother the other girls so she walked over to the corner she'd slept in on her first night at Fox tower, and curled up into a ball, closing her eyes and falling asleep.

⥎  
⥐ 

"This is the second time she's done this, oh my god," Allison's voice said from above Thalia. "Thalia, get up! We have to get ready to go." Thalia blinked her eyes open and found all three girls standing over her like they'd been that first morning. She smiled.

"Alive," Thalia said, hoping to bring back the memories to the other girls. It did, and Dan smiled, while Allison rolled her eyes playfully and Renee chuckled.

"What happened to your face?" Dan asked. She'd guessed, by now. Thalia could tell. But she didn't let Dan say anything more, and instead pulled away the bandage, showing off her new tattoo. Dan's eyes widened and she clapped loudly, getting Allison's attention.

"Oh fuck," Allison said, a smile creeping onto her face. "Oh shit, this is going to be fucking hilarious." she laughed. Renee didn't comment, but Thalia could tell she was happy.

"Wait, what about Kevin?" Allison asked. Thalia shrugged with a smile on her face and Allison's eyes widened. She flew out the door and down the hall. Thalia and the other girls followed her as she knocked on Kevin's door. Nicky opened the door and Allison pushed past him into the room. "Where's Kevin Day?" she demanded. Kevin stumbled out of the bedroom a few minutes later, rubbing his eyes and holding his head. The gauze had fallen off in his sleep and Allison laughed.

"What the fuck?" Nicky asked. Thalia turned and showed him her tattoo. He widened his eyes in surprise and made a sound of excitement. "Oh my god," he turned to Kevin. "Oh my god! Are you serious?" Matt ran into the room, followed by Aaron, both looking concerned.

"What happened?" Matt asked. Thalia showed him her tattoo and then he looked over at Kevin and saw his. "When did that happen?" he asked slowly.

"Last night." Thalia replied. The whole team was in the room, and it was a tight fit. "Alright everyone. Things to pack, demonic summonings to perform. Let's get moving!" that got the team moving, and soon enough, they were all on the bus, ready to head to the game of their lives. Thalia knew a lot was resting on this game, and she didn't want to disappoint, but she couldn't help but feel nervous. She was scared to face Riko again, but figured Kevin, sitting next to her, was feeling almost exactly the same way.

It was comforting, knowing someone was in a similar situation to you. It was why Thalia and Andrew had gravitated towards each other after learning they'd both lived under the influence of Drake Spear, and why Thalia suddenly felt comfortable around Neil and Kevin once she found out the past they shared.

Thalia couldn't get the image of Ichirou Moriyama threatening to kill her if she didn't make the pros after graduation, though. But that was three years away, so Thalia decided not to dwell on it too much. Instead, she closed her eyes and envisioned every possible situation she could be put in that night on the court, and how to get out of it. It was comforting. She enjoyed it. If this were to be her last game ever, Thalia was going to enjoy it, and play as well as she possibly could.


	85. LXXXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PAINT THE TOWN GREEN
> 
> 'To be right there in that moment  
> You'd give anything to be  
> It's alright  
> Cause tonight  
> We're gonna paint the town green'

"What are we going to do?"

"Beat the Ravens."

"That's right. And why are we going to do it?"

"Because we fucking can."

"That's right." Thalia had her hands on Kevin's shoulders and was looking him in the eye. He was stronger now more than ever, but an hour before the game, he needed confirmation that what he was doing was the right thing. "Now, we're going to go out there in half an hour, and we are going to fucking beat those assholes, because we're better than them." Kevin nodded. "And because you're going to play left handed, and I'm going to play with both hands." Kevin nodded again. Another part of the impromptu deal they'd made the night before was that Kevin would play left handed for at least half of the game. He'd been practicing with it so much that he was almost as fluent in switching between the two as Thalia was.

"Okay," Kevin said and took a deep breath. "I love you, Lia." Thalia smiled.

"I love you too, Kevin." she said. "Let's join the others."

The team left their gear in the locker room and headed to the inner ring. People had booed and cheered at Thalia and Kevin's new tattoos as they'd entered the stadium, but there were more people cheering for the team inside, and it hyped Thalia up more than she ever thought possible. A Mexican wave began, and it was too loud for Thalia to process.

"Jesus Christ," Nicky said, and it sounded quiet, even though the Foxes were tightly packed together. "I don't think I can-Erik!" Nicky ran for the stands and Thalia turned to see him meet up with his boyfriend. She smiled as they hugged, and Kevin took her hand with a quick squeeze.

That's when the rest of the guests showed up, and the team were dismissed to see their friends and family. Renee walked over to where Thalia and Kevin were standing and gestured for Thalia to follow her. She could see where this was going, but Thalia gave Kevin's hand a last squeeze and followed Renee to the stands. 

Stephanie Walker hadn't changed much in the many months since Thalia had seen her. The image of the woman had been imprinted in Thalia's mind since the moment she saw her, and Stephanie smiled brightly when she saw her.

"Thalia, it's nice to see you again," Stephanie said, holding out a hand. Thalia didn't take it, instead opting for a tight lipped smile.

"Ms Walker," she said. "Nice to see you as well. I'll leave you and Renee to catch up, then." Thalia nodded at Renee and headed over to where Dan and Allison were catching up with Dan's stage sisters.

"Oh, Thalia, meet my sisters," Dan said as she saw Thalia's approach. The girls smiled brightly in their white dresses. Three of them spelled 'FOX' and the fourth had a bright orange fox paw. Thalia smiled politely and listened as Dan rattled off their names. She'd be able to recall them in a conversation, but wasn't really listening to what they were all saying. 

"Hey Thalia," a man's voice said from behind her, and she turned slowly to see Phil Higgins standing there in the stands with his hands in the pockets of his jeans jacket. Thalia smiled.

"Hey Pig," Thalia said. "How're the kids?" Pig cracked a smile at that and looked past Thalia to where Andrew must have been standing. Thalia whistled and brought his attention back to her face. "Hey, I brought you here to see me, not Andrew. Okay? He said it was okay that I brought you here, but said nothing about talking to him. Got it? He'll come to you if he wants to talk. Not the other way around." Pig smiled.

"Still the bossy bitch I remember then," he said. Thalia rolled her eyes. "I'll admit, I was a little confused when I got an invite to the game. Why did you want me to come?" Thalia shrugged.

"You're the only person outside my team who ever really believed I could do something with my life," she explained. "Even when I was doing shit and stealing from stores, you believed in me. I guess I wanted to repay that, somehow."

"No need to get all soppy on me, Warden," Thalia flinched at the name she hadn't heard in months. "Sorry. Should I call you Josten?" Thalia nodded.

"Yeah, I took the name my brother gave himself," Thalia turned and motioned for Neil to join her. He hesitated - mostly because it was a cop, but partly because Andrew had probably told him a bit about Phil - before heading in her direction. "This is Neil," she slung an arm around his shoulders in a carefree way. "Neil, I'm sure you've heard all about Phil, more commonly known among our friends only as Pig Higgins or simply just Pig." Pig huffed a laugh.

"Uh, yeah. I've heard of you." he put his hand out for a shake, and, surprisingly, Higgins took it. "Nice to meet you." Pig nodded and the two headed back to Andrew and Kevin.

"Pig Higgins better not talk to me," Andrew said in German. Thalia rolled her eyes.

"I told him not to." Andrew side-eyed her and Thalia only shrugged. When Betsy Dobson walked in, Andrew headed over to her. All three Foxes left with Wymack turned away from her.

"You could at least say hello," Wymack suggested.

"No point," Kevin said. "All they are is a distraction."

"Besides," Thalia said, swinging her other arm over Kevin's shoulder, though that was a bit of a stretch. She smiled at Wymack. "They've got me."

"You need one too," Wymack pointed at Thalia, making her smile grow wider. "It's called a support network, look it up."

"My whole family is here," Kevin said. "And that is enough." Thalia smiled up at him and Kevin wound his arm around Thalia's waist as she dropped her arms from her brother and boyfriend's shoulders. Neil moved away, heading over to the stands to meet the guests. Wymack seemed surprised at Kevin's words, and took a few moments to find something to say.

"Your mother would be proud of you," he said to Kevin at last.

"Not just of me," Kevin said, looking down at Thalia. He smiled one of his rare real smiles and Thalia melted. How did she get so lucky when it came to Kevin? They'd both been through shit - although it was admittedly different kinds of shit - and had somehow found each other again after years of being apart. It made her feel strong. Whatever happened, she knew she'd end up with Kevin. 

"Thalia Josten?" a security guard said, ruining the moment. Thalia looked to him and hummed. "A Stuart Hatford is here to see you." Thalia's stomach dropped. She and Neil may have made their own deal with Ichirou, but if Stuart had fucked his up, this could be a very bad conversation waiting to happen.

She followed the guard and Neil joined them, though they both stayed quiet. When Stuart came into view, the guard left the three of them alone.

"I'd have thought you'd be back in England by now," 

"I've been going back and forth," Stuart admitted. "I would have come back for you sooner, but he told us not to interfere until he made a decision." Stuart didn't have to say who 'he' was. Thalia understood, and she knew Neil did too. "Your father's death left a void that's not easy to fill. The little boss is flushing out his loose ends and anyone who could be a threat to his new empire. He's taking out people from South Carolina to California," Stuart sighed. "Cops, doctors, moles - it doesn't matter. If there's even a single chance they'd be a liability to his new rule, they're gone."

"That's disgusting," Thalia said, her face wrinkled in her obvious uncomfortableness. Stuart hummed, though Thalia couldn't tell if it was in agreement or just to fill the silence.

"There were people in South Carolina?" Neil asked. Thalia caught on to what he was asking. "Wait, doctors? Medical doctors, or shrinks? Do you have names?"

"I stay out of the specifics unless they pertain to me." Stuart said, looking at the two of his sisters children funny. "Someone in particular you're looking for?"

"A doctor Proust," Thalia said. "A psychiatrist at Easthaven. Long story short, we told the Little boss about him. He let himself get bought out by the wrong brother." Stuart hummed again.

"I'll look into it," he looked around. "You know they're still watching you, right? They still want Thalia back on the Ravens, though I doubt that won't change after tonight if you win." Thalia's heart sank.

"Well then," she said. "No pressure on me, right?"

"We'll be careful," Neil said, getting off the topic and wrapping you the conversation. "Thank you."

"Chin up. Straight ahead," Stuart said. "Little boss is watching tonight. Don't slip up. Don't make him regret investing in you."


	86. LXXXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING
> 
> 'Oh, don't give us none of your aggravation  
> We had it with your discipline  
> Oh, Saturday night's alright for fighting  
> Get a little action in'

"I want you to close your eyes and think about why you're here tonight," Wymack said as the team huddled around him. "Don't tell me 'revenge' because you've already gotten that by being here tonight. This isn't about Riko anymore. This isn't about the Ravens. This is about you. This is about everything it took you to get to this point, everything it cost you, and everyone who laughed at you when you dared to dream big and bright. You're here tonight because you refused to give up and give in. You're here where they all said you'd never be, and no one can say you haven't earned the right to play this game."

"All eyes are on you. It's time to show them what you're made of. There's no room for doubt, no room for second guesses, no room for error. This is your night. This is your game. This is your moment. Seize it with everything you've got. Pull out all the stops and lay it all on the line." Wymack continued, looking around the circle, catching each players eye. "Fight because you don't know how to die quietly. Win because you don't know how to lose. This king's ruled long enough - it's time to tear his castle down."

Thalia smirked. "It looks like we're rubbing off on him, Neil." she said. "Dramatic speeches and all." Wymack glared at her and it made her smirk grow wider. A warning bell sounded and Wymack clapped his hands.

"Let's go!"

The starting line-up headed for the door, and Thalia walked to the bench with her head held high with the other subs. The Ravens walked onto the court first took their places. Riko was among them - the first name called out - like Thalia knew he would. Riko played first and fourth quarters of games. Kevin was first called out for the Foxes, followed by Neil, and they both headed for their positions on the half-court line.

Thalia took a deep breath in and closed her eyes. She let it out, and when the buzzer went off, she opened them and watched the game unfold under her gaze.

⥎  
⥐

The Ravens were ruthless, as Thalia assumed they'd be. Riko was angry that the Foxes had made it this far. To the finals. That they were rivalling his position as the best. The Foxes were fierce, the challengers in this position. They knew they could do it if they really tried, and they were really trying. It was amazing to watch, and when Thalia finally stepped onto the court as Kevin jogged off, clenching and unclenching his left fist, she felt the heat and the excitement of the moment.

The buzzer sounded and Allison passed the ball quickly to Thalia, who caught it in her right hand and took seven steps before bouncing it off the wall to head back in Allison's direction. The two sped up the court with Neil on Allison's other side. Thalia had a clear shot at a goal, and she took it. The lines lit up red behind the goalie - a man she hadn't even bothered to learn the name of in her months at Evermore - and Thalia cheered. Allison side-hugged her and the two jogged back to their positions.

Everyone was a pile of heavy breathing and dripping with sweat by the time they were let off the court for half-time, and Thalia headed over to Kevin when they were in the locker room. He had his gloves off and a bandage tied around his left wrist. Thalia frowned at it. "You okay?" she asked him. Kevin responded with a nod. 

"Abby gave me some painkillers. I'll be fine," Kevin said. Thalia nodded and turned to where Wymack had entered. Everyone was anxious, and Renee stood in the middle of the room, frowning and looking apologetic. The Ravens would have a new line-up once the buzzer rang again, and the Foxes weren't looking good, with the score seven-three in Ravens favour.

Renee opened her mouth and closed it again. She blinked a few times and cleared her throat. She was clearly trying to apologise, but then she just said "Are you sure?" Thalia was confused, but looked at Andrew, who was sure to understand.

"Yes," he said. Renee nodded.

"Okay. Excuse me." Renee said, leaving to go to the bathroom. Dan stood to go after her, but Thalia shook her head and Wymack put a hand out.

"Leave her," Wymack said. "She didn't want to play tonight after USC's game. We talked her into it." Thalia flicked a look at Andrew, but he was stretching and not looking at anything but the floor in front of him. "Andrew said he could control the score if she showed him how they played." Thalia knew he could. She'd seen him do it on her own playing. He'd picked up patterns and techniques quickly, and Thalia knew that he could apply that knowledge here. He'd watched the Ravens the whole first half, and now knew how they played. Thalia smiled. They had a chance.

"You should've let her step down," Aaron said. "She'd've been more useful as a fourth backliner. It's not a good gap."

"And whose fault is that?" Kevin asked, a deep frown on his face. Thalia knew he was deep in thought and was angry at himself, mostly, for being put out because of his wrist. But he'd be playing with it in the next half, and Thalia knew, even with it being banged up and the anxiety of being injured again, that he could do it.

"How are we supposed to stop them if they won't carry the ball?" Nicky said after a shaky breath.

"You have to drive them back," Thalia suggested. She'd spent months with them and knew how they played. So did Kevin, and he nodded in agreement. "Keep them past the fourth-court line so they can't take short range shots. Make them shoot from further out. It'll give Andrew more time to block their shots."

"Great idea," Aaron said, sarcastically and out of breath. "But we can't stop them if we can't keep up with them. They're almost as fast as your brother."

"Find a way." Kevin said with finality that no one argued with.

Thalia sat down on the bench again as the line-up headed to the doors. This time Andrew joined them. Before Kevin walked on, he tapped the butt of his racquet against the ground and switched it to his left hand. He strode to half-court with his head high and left-handed. The crowd went wild. Thalia smiled with pride.


	87. LXXXVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NATURAL
> 
> 'You gotta be so cold  
> To make it in this world  
> Yeah, you're a natural'

"Go Kevin! Go Riko!" Nathalia called from the sidelines. They couldn't hear her, but the young girl smiled brightly with her two front teeth missing. The two people who were like brothers to her played together in harmony. Kevin left handed and Riko right. Thalia thought it only fair that she was both left and right handed, to keep up with the two strikers.

They won, and on a rare occasion, Tetsuji took the whole team - and Nathalia - to get ice cream after the game. Nathalia skipped ahead with Riko and Kevin, and the rest of the team - who seemed to believe they were lower than the two boys because they weren't as good - stayed behind, talking in hushed whispers. Nathalia didn't care. She talked about everything and anything, even if nobody was listening.

"Oh, and then Kevin came in and was like, bah!" Nathalia gestured swinging a racquet. "And Riko went yah!" she swung it the other way. Then Nathalia began laughing uncontrollably and Kevin smiled, while Riko's face stayed impassive.

"Yes, Nathalila," Riko said. "We were there. We were the ones playing. We do not need a recount of what happened." Nathalia's smile fell and she stayed quiet.

"Riko," Kevin said. Tears were threatening to fall out of Nathalia's eyes, but she kept them in. She was used to doing that by now. Her whole life had been full of staying quiet and keeping in tears. "Don't be so hard on her. She's excited. Let her be excited."

Riko huffed but didn't say anything. Kevin winked and smiled at Nathalia and she smiled at him before launching into another topic that excited her at the time. Dolls. Finger painting. Those new exy gloves she wanted for her birthday. And Kevin listened. Because Kevin was always good, and didn't have patches of goodness like Riko did. Because Kevin was kind, and caring, and always there. Because Kevin was Kevin.

⥎  
⥐

Kevin fought aggressively on the court, alongside the rest of the Foxes, who also seemed aggravated. For different reasons, Thalia assumed, but they were playing better than she'd ever seen them before, and that was a good thing. Thalia smiled from the sidelines.

The score was eight-six at seventeen minutes, and Reacher snapped. He punched Kevin after he scored a goal, and Thalia was on her feet. She stayed at the bench, but watched angrily as the teams got involved before the referees could. Reacher was sent off with a red card and Kevin and Matt got yellows. Thalia sank into her seat with her jaw clenched.

"They didn't start it. They shouldn't have been carded." Thalia said.

"That may be so," Renee said from Thalia's side. "But they were involved. It may not be fair, but it's the rules." Thalia huffed and stayed quiet. Kevin scored on the foul, and she smiled a little, but it didn't seem to relieve the tension between the teams on the court.

The Ravens turned on the backliners and Andrew, then, instead of Kevin. Aaron and Matt were pushed around hard and got tripped up, but they pushed back just as hard. It wouldn't be long before one of them snapped, but Allison seemed to be yelling insults at the Ravens for now. Renee chuckled from beside Thalia and she looked over to her.

"You really like her, don't you?" Thalia asked, a smile on her face. Renee didn't look to Thalia, but nodded and hummed in agreement. Thalia could see why. Allison was fierce on and off the court, and didn't take anyone's shit. She was a force to be reckoned with, and wasn't the rich daddy's girl everyone thought she was. Allison had picked up the techniques and footwork Thalia had taught her quite quickly, and had them down pretty well. She could hold her own.

When Jenkins got around Aaron, she fired to rebound close to the goal. Andrew went for it, but so did Williams, even though it was clear Andrew would get there first. Thalia could see what was going to happen even before it did, and she widened her eyes and opened her mouth to yell, even though Andrew wouldn't have heard.

Williams crashed into Andrew and pushed him against the wall. The lines fired up red at the weight, and the crowd was silent. Stunned. Fouling a goalkeeper was one of the worst offenses in the game, and Andrew didn't like to be touched. Andrew pushed Williams off him and stumbled away from the wall.

Thalia saw Neil move out of the corner of her eye and she turned her attention to him. He was striding quickly across the court and dropped his stick as he walked to Williams and shoved him in between his shoulder blades. Williams hit his knees, despite Jenkins' best efforts to keep him upright.

Matt made his way quickly to Neil to stop him from shoving Williams again, and Neil was let off with a warning. Thalia sighed. He couldn't afford to get carded, even with her and Nicky and Dan on the sidelines ready to play - and Renee by extension, if she was needed - everyone was tired, and the Ravens could send on anyone they needed to replace, at any time. The Ravens were rec carded, and Tetsuji switched out Williams and two others for Riko and two new players.

As Riko stepped onto the court, Thalia was reminded with how much she wanted to beat him at his own game. That was the whole point of playing tonight. To show Riko she was better than him.

Thalia noticed Andrew, Matt and Neil having a conversation near the goal and narrowed her eyes, even though there was no way she could make out what they were saying. When Matt limped off, - followed by Aaron - and spoke to coach, Wymack was angry, but then calmed down when Matt said something about it being Andrew's idea.

"Thalia, Dan, you're on." Thalia stood and looked to the captain in confusion before turning her attention to Wymack. "Dan, striker. Thalia, dealer. Dan, you're switching with Neil. He's switching with Matt. Thalia, you're switching with Allison. Apparently Andrew thinks it will be better to have Neil in the backliner position and Thalia as a dealer." Wymack threw his hands up before sighing. "Hell if I know why."

"Speed," Thalia said. They'd known all night that there wasn't enough speed on the backliner position tonight, and switching Neil for Matt was bound to make things easier. "And Riko trained Neil as a backliner at Evermore, just like he trained me as a dealer. It will work." Thalia looked to Andrew through the glass and nodded, before turning back to Wmyack. "It has to."

Wymack grumbled and sent the girls on. Thalia jogged to Allison and told her that they were switching. "Go sit with Renee. You've earned it." Allison said nothing and jogged off. With Dan at one side of her, and Kevin at the other, Thalia took a deep breath and didn't feel suffocated when the referees closed and locked the doors.


	88. LXXXVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PERFECTLY WRONG
> 
> 'Me and you, we were made to break  
> I know the truth, but it's much too late'

Thalia and Kevin worked seamlessly together, the two switching hands and passing between them and Dan, never letting the ball stay in anyone's possession too long in fear of the Ravens stealing it from them. Berger got around Aaron for a shot on goal, and Andrew wasn't quite fast enough. He slammed his racquet against the wall and the lights flared. Thalia huffed and the next time the Ravens fouled, Wymack sent Nicky and Matt on. Thalia didn't know who was being pulled, but Matt detoured past Dan and she sent Thalia one last look before heading off the court.

"We can do it," Kevin said in French. Thalia turned her head and could see Kevin's hard expression between the slats of his helmet. She nodded to him and turned back to see Matt, Nicky and Neil setting themselves up to work together as three backliners. With a strong defense line, Kevin was right. They had more of a chance now than they did the rest of the night. Kevin and Thalia were tuned to each other's playing styles, and even after months of being apart, they were able to pick up right where they left off.

With five minutes to go, the Raven offense was completely shut out of the goal thanks to the three backliners, and Thalia and Kevin had more chance than ever to head up the court with the ball. Thalia passed to Kevin, and he managed a rebound shot, making the score even. The two tapped sticks as they headed back to the half-court line. 

"Five minutes," Thalia said in French. They'd been yelling it between each other and Neil, using the language to their advantage since Jean was no longer on the Ravens, and neither was Dean, who said he'd learned a little from Jean when he'd taught Kevin. Kevin nodded and headed to the striker position while Thalia held hers in offensive dealer.

The last five minutes flew by, trying to get up the court, attempting shots on goal. When the buzzer sounded, Thalia hardly realised the goal lines were red. Kevin had scored. They'd been tied up with those five minutes left, and Kevin's final score gave them a one point lead. They'd won. The Foxes won.

Thalia took off her helmet and looked at Kevin, who had also removed his helmet and seemed shocked, staring up at the scoreboard. Thalia ran up to him and hugged him. Kevin returned the hug and even though they were both wearing bulky gear, he spun her around on the spot. Thalia grabbed his face and kissed him, Kevin winding a hand around her back. When they pulled away, Thalia smiled, her forehead pressed against Kevin's. Then she heard a shout and turned her head.

It took Thalia a moment to understand what was happening, but then she saw Riko standing over Neil, racquet raised, with full intent to bring it down on top of Thalia's brother's head. But then a stick got in the way and pushed Riko back. Thalia and Kevin sprinted across the court to see Andrew huddled over Neil protectively. The rest of the Foxes stood around the two, but Thalia heard Riko's screams vividly, like she'd heard her own for months. She wanted to turn around and kick Riko in the face - maybe smash his face in like Aaron had done to Drake - but she didn't. 

Dan knelt in front of Neil and shook him. "Neil," she said. Neil dragged his stare to her face.

"Hey," he said. "Hey, we won." Thalia smiled and leaned into Kevin's side.

"Yeah, Neil," Dan said, a laugh in her voice. "We won!"

⥎  
⥐

"Yay!" Nathalia called and clapped as Riko and Kevin lifted the trophy. The boys had won the championship - again - and their team fanned out on either side of the co-captains. "Yay!" she said again, even when the rest of the applause died down.

When they were allowed off the stage, after photos had been taken, Nathalia rushed over to the boys. Riko held the trophy now, so Nathalia first hugged Kevin. He returned the hug with a laugh, and then Nathalia turned to Riko. He opened his arms for a hug and a smile on his face. Nathalia smiled widely and hugged him.

"I'm proud of you," Nathalia said, and launched into a detailed explanation of how scared the other team had looked, and how they hadn't stood a chance. 

"Why don't you join our team next season, Lia?" Kevin suggested. Nathalia's eyes widened in happiness and her smile grew wider if it was at all possible. She nodded violently and Kevin laughed, putting a hand on the top of her head to stop her from nodding. "Alright then. Piggy," he said, turning around. Nathalia giggled and jumped onto Kevin's back.

"To the ice cream shop!" Nathalia said and pointed over Kevin's shoulder. He started running to the streets, and Nathalia giggled the whole way.

⥎  
⥐

Thalia and Neil were summoned to the East tower hours after the game had ended and all the interviews had ended. Thalia was nervous, but reminded herself they'd struck a deal with Ichirou, and then gone on to win championships. There was no way Ichirou would kill them now.

Thalia had slight deja-vu as she walked into the room. She knew she'd been there before, but couldn't remember it off the top of her head. Stuart Hatford and someone Thalia didn't know stood in a far corner. Tetsuji and Riko sat on a sofa. Tetsuji was as rigid as Thalia remembered him, and Riko was crouched over. He had his arm in a cast and sling and was looking at the ground. Andrew had broken Riko's arm, and Thalia didn't feel sorry for him.

Thalia and Neil made their way to halfway between Riko and Ichirou, where the older brother was watching the court. Time passed. It was so quiet Thalia could hear someone's watch ticking. Eventually, Ichirou gestured for someone, who placed a gun in his hand. Thalia's throat went dry, but Ichirou walked around the two. Thalia and Neil both turned, and Ichirou knelt in front of Riko.

He spoke in quiet Japanese that Thalia couldn't decipher - her years of learning the language failed her in that moment, as she was focusing on the pounding in her ears. When Ichirou was done talking Tetsuji bent over himself as if he'd been stabbed in the gut. Ichirou turned to Riko, then, who finally looked up.

"Ichirou," he said. No, pleaded. Thalia understood then, what Ichirou had been talking about. Ichirou put a hand against one side of his brother's head and the gun on the other. Thalia stayed quiet, and hoped Neil would too. Ichirou pulled the trigger without hesitation, and blood stained the leather sofa he was sitting on, as well as Tetsuji's back.

Ichirou stepped back and let Riko's body fall. Thalia was elated that Riko was dead, but it only let Ichirou's attention fall on her and Neil again. First, the stranger who'd been with Stuart stepped forward, and Ichirou handed him the gun. He pressed it against Riko's hand, and Thalia understood they were going to make it seem like a suicide. Of shame. Of embarrassment or hurt pride.

Thalia found it funny, almost, that the way Tetsuji had told Riko she'd died, was the way Riko would die. She wanted to smile. To laugh. But Thalia stood, expressionless, next to Neil. Ichirou stopped in front of them. "You have cost the Ravens their coach and captain. Are you happy?" Thalia didn't know why he said Coach. Tetsuji was alive and well. But perhaps Ichirou meant something else. Perhaps he was stepping down. Ichirou likely wanted nothing to do with the Ravens now that they were a failure. Stuart had said he was cutting loose ends. This was one of them, Thalia realised. 

"Your people are safe, as are mine," Neil said, recovering quicker than Thalia thought he would. "Yes, I'm happy." Ichirou's smile was cold and fast, but he looked between the two, and Thalia nodded in agreement to Neil.

"Let them call you by whatever name they like," Ichirou said. "But you will both always be a Wesninski at heart." he flicked his hand like he was swatting a way a fly. "Dismissed."

"Thank you, Lord Ichirou," Thalia said out of respect. She didn't get a response - she wasn't expecting to - but she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. A Riko Moriyama sized weight. Thalia left the east tower with a sigh and a head rested against her brother's shoulder. They were free.


	89. LXXXVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS HOW A HEART UNBREAKS
> 
> 'I'm gonna smile when it hurts  
> Going out tonight with all of my girls  
> Party 'til I can't see straight  
> This is how a heart unbreaks'

"Come on, stop complaining," Thalia said. She was sitting on the bottom bunk with her legs crossed. A book was laid in front of her, open to the page she'd been reading. "You only have to do one year apart. I'm already into one year without Kevin, and I have one to go. So shut the fuck up and enjoy the time you have together before Andrew's graduation." 

"Just because you haven't seen Kevin in months doesn't give you the right to get angry at how we're spending our time," Neil countered. Thalia rolled her eyes and went back to her book.

"Besides," Robin cut in, making Thalia look up from her book. Although Robin was sat above Thalia on the top bunk and she couldn't see her, Thalia figured Robin was making a face. "They might have to spend more time apart. They might not even get on the same team when you and Neil go pro." Andrew appeared in the doorway. 

"Thanks for that, Cross," he said and made his way to sit next to Neil. He laid down and put his feet in Neil's lap, closing his eyes and trying to sleep.

Thalia put her book down, placing the bookmark on the page, and grabbed the wood above her head. She pulled herself up and looked at Robin, who was flicking through a magazine. Robin raised an eyebrow at Thalia. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, actually. We're going to the studio." Thalia said. She stole Robin's magazine and held it out of her reach. "Come on." Robin sighed but climbed down from the loft bed. Thalia shot Neil a look as she walked out. "We'll give you two some time alone." Neil rolled his eyes and kicked the door shut behind his sister. Thalia chuckled and threw her arm around Robin.

⥎  
⥐

The few weeks after the championship final, the Foxes had microphones in their faces and Thalia was sick of it. It was mostly because the press had found out about Riko's death and were trying to get something out of the team that had hated him most. Thalia was questioned a lot, because of her being on the Ravens line-up for months, but she shooed the reporters away like they were just a mild inconvenience, and not getting on her last nerves. 

"Look, assholes, Thalia finally snapped. She was covered in paint and had the ugliest clothes on that she owned. She hadn't slept in days because she was trying to finish her portfolio for her finals. "I have finals next week, and nothing else to say to you. So if you'd just leave me and the rest of my team alone, that would be great. Thanks." Thalia gave a sarcastic smile and walked away.

"Hey, Lia," Kevin said when she walked in and flopped on his bed. Thalia sighed and rubbed her eyes. Kevin stroked her hair. "You okay?" he asked. Thalia shook her head and stared at Andrew's bed above them.

"I'm so fucking tired." Thalia mumbled. She sat up and looked at Kevin. "I need a shower." it took Kevin a moment to realise what she meant, and the two of them headed into the bathroom.

Kevin gently washed all the paint off her body, and Thalia closed her eyes, standing still where she was. She was still getting used to all the touching, but Thalia was comfortable around Kevin. She trusted and loved him. This was okay.

"Lia," Kevin said softly. Thalia hummed and opened her eyes. Kevin was mostly dry, since he wasn't standing under the spray of the water. Thalia frowned. Kevin looked serious. He leaned forward and kissed Thalia. She was surprised a little, but closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. Kevin put his arms around Thalia, and she wound her arms around his neck.

When they came out of the bathroom, Nicky and Aaron were sitting on the beanbags and playing video games. Nicky turned and groaned when he saw the two of them in towels.

"The straights are at it again," he announced before turning back to his game. Thalia rolled her eyes and headed for the bedroom. She had a whole drawer full of her things in there, though she still regularly slept in her own dorm. Thalia changed and Kevin entered as she was pulling her shirt on. He was still in only a towel. 

"Hey handsome," Thalia smiled at him. Kevin smiled back and began getting dressed too. Thalia sat on his bed and pulled out the chessboard and pieces he kept under his bed. It was a good way for the two of them to relieve stress, and speed chess helped with their competitiveness. 

"You play white," Kevin said, sitting opposite Thalia on the bed, crossing his legs in front of him. She sighed. Kevin always let her play white.

"I don't know if you do that because you're being nice, or because you want to see my moves first," Thalia said. Kevin smirked and said nothing. Thalia rolled her eyes and set up the white pieces.

⥎  
⥐

"Have you talked to them about the contracts yet?" Thalia asked Wymack. She'd gone to the stadium, even though they didn't have practice anymore since the season was over. He was in his office and she'd gone to talk to him.

"Yes, I have." Wymack said, sitting back in his chair. Thalia motioned for him to continue. "They've agreed to play with us next season, but, but," he continued quickly after Thalia started celebrating. "They're going home to visit their families this weekend and won't be back until the start of the school year. I suspect they haven't seen their families in a long time." Thalia nodded in understanding. Dean had told her while at the nest that he hadn't seen his family since he joined the Ravens.

"Okay, that's great." Thalia said, smiling widely. Wymack's eyes drifted to Thalia's neck and she suddenly felt self-conscious of the marks Kevin had left there. He snapped his gaze back to Thalia's face when he noticed that she was feeling awkward.

"You know I approve of your relationship with Kevin, right?" Wymack said. Thalia nodded. "Just try not to make it so obvious." Thalia rolled her eyes and jumped down from Wymack's desk.

"Sure coach. I'll tell Kevin to be more mindful next time." she headed out the door and ran to the studio. She found Andrew there, already looking at the paintings. Thalia knocked on the doorframe to alert him of her her presence.

"Sometimes I regret giving you a key to this place." Andrew didn't respond. He was staring intently at one of Thalia's newest pieces. One she was doing for her final assessment. It was half and half black and white, with simplistic faces in the opposite colours. 

Thalia passed Andrew and headed over to her easel. There was a new piece there, and Thalia gathered the things she'd need to continue it.

"There's someone I want to recruit," Andrew said eventually. Thalia glanced back at him before returning to her work. "She's a few years away from graduating high school, but when she does, I want to take her on."

"What's her name?" Thalia asked. "And why is she so important?"

"Betsy mentioned her to me," Andrew said. "Told me her mother was from the same place as this girl. Apparently she was kidnapped when she was five. Only got back to her parents at eleven." Thalia paused and turned. Andrew was still staring at the painting.

"Her name?" Thalia asked.

"Robin Cross." Andrew said. "She plays goalkeeper. She's not Class 1 material, but we can make her Class 1 material." Thalia narrowed her eyes in thought. She hummed. 

"Alright. What do you need me to do?" she asked.

"Nothing, for the moment. Like I said, she's a few years from graduating, but when the time comes, I need you to help me convince coach." Andrew said. Thalia nodded.

"Okay. Yeah, I can do that." she said. Andrew stood and walked out of the room without another word. Thalia shook her head at his antics and turned back to the canvas. Maybe he was trying to help others, finally. Though he'd said it was a few years away from happening, Andrew was clearly trying to help this girl get away from whatever demons were holding her back. She had potential, he'd said in fewer words, and Andrew wanted to help her reach that potential. Thalia smiled as she worked.


	90. LXXXIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WITHOUT ME 
> 
> 'Found you when your heart was broke  
> I filled your cup until it overflowed  
> Took it so far to keep you close  
> I was afraid to leave you on your own'

Thalia collected her things and headed outside, waving her arm for a taxi. She told the woman the address and they pulled out of the airport. Thalia looked out the window of the car. She hadn't been here in a few months. The last time she'd visited Kevin had been at Christmas break. Now the Foxes were five weeks away from finals, and Thalia needed a break. Co-captaining with her brother was a difficult thing to do, especially when Neil was as controlling during practice as Kevin.

"Thanks," Thalia said, handing the cabbie her money and getting onto the pavement. Thalia sighed as she looked up at the apartment building. Kevin didn't know she was coming. It was surprise. She headed up the stairs and unlocked the door quietly with the key Kevin had given her.

Thalia shut the door behind her and placed her bag on the ground. She looked around and frowned when her eyes landed on a womans' handbag. Kevin wouldn't. Thalia knew he wouldn't. There had to be a reasonable explanation for whatever this bag was doing here. 

Thalia walked into the living room and looked around. Nothing seemed out of place. She frowned and spun around quickly when footsteps approached the room.

It was a woman, much taller and a few years older than Thalia. Older than Kevin, even. She looked at Thalia with a shocked expression that turned to surprise and happiness. Thalia was more confused and angry than she'd been moments ago.

"You must be Thalia," the woman said happily and loudly. She held out her hand for a shake, and Thalia hesitantly took it. "Kevin said he wasn't expecting anyone else this weekend."

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Thalia said quietly. "Where is he?" the woman looked behind her and called Kevin's name. Thalia almost didn't want to see him. Her heart was clenched and her fingernails cut crescent moons into her palms. Kevin came down the hallway and stopped when he saw Thalia. She was grinding her jaw and looking at him angrily.

"Thalia? What are you doing here?" Kevin asked. He moved forward, but Thalia took a step back. Kevin looked between the two women and opened his mouth. "Oh my god, Thalia, no. It's not like that." he stammered and held up his hands. The woman widened her eyes, too.

"Oh, no, absolutely not," she said. She turned back to the hallway. "Richard!" she called. A man came out of the spare bedroom without a shirt on. He scratched his head as he made his way down the hall. Everything suddenly made sense. The woman turned. "I'm Thea, and this is my fiancé, Richard. Kevin agreed to let us stay here for the weekend. We needed a place to crash while we were in town. We're travelling cross country before the pros start and I have to be back in New York." Thalia let out a breath and her jaw dropped a little.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said to Thea. Then Thalia turned to Kevin, who still looked shocked that Thalia would ever think he'd cheated on her. She felt embarrassed and guilty, and just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"We'll let you guys talk." Thea said and smiled again, though this time it was smaller. "Nice to meet you, Thalia."

Thalia rubbed her hand over her face and sighed. "Kevin, I'm sorry." she said. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "I didn't mean to assume...I just saw the bag and thought the worst. I think this long distance thing is taking its toll on me," Thalia laughed dryly.

"It's okay," Kevin said eventually, looking up and smiling. "I missed you too, Lia." Thalia smiled and walked over to hug Kevin. "I love you, you know that, right? I'd never cheat on you."

"I know." Thalia said. "I love you too." 

The two walked over to the kitchen and Kevin put the kettle on to boil, pulling out two mugs and the milk. Thalia jumped up onto the bench and watched Kevin work.

"Thanks," she said with a smile when he handed her the mug of tea. A distant memory from years ago sprang into her mind and Thalia chuckled. Kevin raised an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked. Thalia shook her head.

"I was just remembering the first time I had tea at Fox tower," she said. It jogged Kevin's memory and he laughed too. "If I remember correctly, you said 'I wanted to see the bitch that wanted ins on my liquor stash'," Thalia laughed. "You hated me." Kevin hummed and placed his cup down on the bench beside Thalia. he stood in between her legs and rested his hands on her hips.

"And now you're the love of my life," Kevin said. Thalia rolled her eyes but her smile grew wider. She leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips before pulling away and taking another sip of her tea.

"And we're both four years sober," Kevin hummed again and took a drink of his own tea.

The two chatted away about things that mattered and things that didn't. Eventually, Thalia looked up at the clock and saw that it read eleven thirty. She'd gotten in at eight.

"I'm tired from the flight up," she said. "You want to go to bed?" Kevin nodded and put the mugs in the dishwasher before carrying Thalia into his bedroom and putting her on the bed, closing the door with his foot. Thalia's things were still out in the living room, but she was too tired to care. She pulled off her jeans and shirt and bra, and picked up an oversized t-shirt from the floor and pulled it over her head. When Thalia lay down on her side of the bed, Kevin was already in, shirtless and wearing only grey sweats.

She lay her head on Kevin's chest, and he wrapped his arm around her back. For years now that had been her replacement wall. She no longer needed to sleep with her back pressed against paint or wallpaper as long as she had Kevin with her. However, in the dorms at Fox tower, she often slept with her back to the wall because it was familiar, even though she trusted Andrew and his family, Neil, and Robin, who'd moved into their dorm the day after they'd taken her to Columbia.

"You're still coming down for the championship game, right?" Thalia asked quietly. Kevin hummed a yes. "Even if we don't get in?"

"Where's this coming from?" Kevin asked, but Thalia didn't answer. He rubbed his fingers up and down Thalia's back under the shirt. "Of course you'll make it." Thalia didn't say anything, only moved around a little to get more comfortable, and closed her eyes, falling asleep in safety with the one she loved.


	91. XC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STARGAZING
> 
> 'If I start, I just can't stop  
> All the patience that I've got  
> It's not enough to save me'

Thalia dragged Neil by the arm into the shop. He'd complained the whole way there, and didn't have Andrew to save him this time. He was staying in the Maserati with Kevin. "Thalia, I don't think it's a good idea," Neil protested. 

"There's nothing to worry about, Neil," Thalia said. She turned to him and saw that her brother was genuinely scared. He'd never admit it, but Thalia could see it on his face. "He's dead, Neil. I know it's only been a few weeks since Riko died, but it's been more since Nathan did. There's nothing he can do to stop you from changing this." they were both silent for a few seconds before Thalia sighed. "If you really don't want to do it, you can wait in the car with Kevin and Andrew. But I think you should do it. Remove that part of your past from your present."

Neil eventually nodded and Thalia smiled widely. She explained to the tattoo artist why they were there, and gave him the design she'd sketched up. "Wow, you're an artist, aren't you." he said before heading to the back room. Thalia and Neil sat down to wait.

"You okay?" she asked. Neil was bouncing his knee up and down rapidly. He wanted to run. Wanted to clear his head. "We can come back another time if you really want to, Neil."

"No." he said, voice dripping with finality. "No, I'm doing this. And I'm doing it today." Thalia slowly nodded. She couldn't help but feel as if she'd manipulated her brother into this, but didn't have the time to ponder on it because she was called in. 

"I'll see you soon, okay?" Thalia told Neil as she left his side. Neil nodded and stared at the floor, bouncing his knee again. Thalia walked through the beaded doorway into the back room. There was a bench in the middle of the room, with dozens of designs on the walls, and tools for tattooing on the benches around the walls.

"Just take your shirt off and lay down on your front," the woman said. Thalia nodded and did as she was asked. "You had a tattoo before?"

"Did you see my face when I came in?" Thalia asked, deflecting the question. The woman didn't answer. There was no way she had. She'd been facing the back as Thalia had walked in, and even then when she'd lay down.

"Alright, here we go." the woman said. The process took about an hour and a half, and then Thalia stood, put her shirt back on, and turned to thank the woman. "Holy shit," she said. Thalia looked at her, confused. 

"You alright?" Thalia asked. She was panicking that the woman had done something wrong. That she'd messed up the tattoo. But she just stared at the bishop on Thalia's cheek, and Thalia knew the woman was a fan.

"You're Thalia Josten," the woman said, an embarrassed smile growing on her face. "I'm so sorry, but can I get your autograph?" Thalia smiled with the press smile she'd trained onto her face for months and nodded. "Thank you," the woman turned and picked up a piece of paper before handing it and a pen to Thalia. She signed her name and handed it back to the woman. "I'm Harley, by the way," Thalia nodded.

"Thank you for doing my tattoo, Harley," Thalia said politely. "I'll see you if I want anymore." Harley looked ecstatic, and Thalia turned and walked out of the back room. Neil was still sitting there, but he had an exy ball in his hands now and he was turning it over and over to keep himself occupied. Thalia stood in front of him. "Where'd you get that?" she asked him. 

"Andrew," was all Neil said. Thalia rolled her eyes and took the ball out of his hands, forcing him up. She pushed him in the direction of the back room and walked over to the desk to pay for their tattoos.

"Let me see," Andrew said. He was standing against the wall, smoking. Kevin was at his side, arms crossed and staring out at the carpark. Thalia handed him the ball and lifted the back of her shirt so that the two boys could see; it was to replace the butcher's knife on her shoulder blade. An exy stick, for the future, to cover up the cleaver of the past. Thalia gave them both a few seconds to look at it before lowering her shirt and taking the cigarette Andrew offered her.

⥎  
⥐

Thalia and Neil were out for the rest of the week, unable to practice due to the placement of the tattoos they'd gotten - which Kevin and Neil were not happy about - however, it did give them time to work on the projects they had to do for finals. 

They were sitting in Neil's dorm doing work, when Gracie knocked on the door. Thalia opened it to see her friend for the first time in a while. Sure, she visited her and Dean and Daniel at Abby's house, but it had been a few days since she'd been able to see them because of all the cramming.

"Gracie, what's up?" Thalia asked with a smile on her face.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me and the guys this afternoon." Gracie said. "Abby said Dean could leave his room today. I wondered if you wanted to see him." Thalia smiled and nodded.

"Just give me a few minutes. I'll meet you downstairs." Thalia said. Gracie nodded and turned down the hall. Thalia gathered her things and told Neil she was going out. He didn't bother with anything more than a hum of approval. "Tell the others where I am if I'm not back before them." Neil hummed again and Thalia rolled her eyes.

She took her things back into her room and headed downstairs to meet Gracie. Thalia frowned and looked at the carpark. "How did you get here?" she asked Gracie. 

"I walked," Gracie admitted. Thalia laughed and lead her friend over to the new car she'd gotten. "This isn't stolen, is it?" Thalia smirked.

"Do you think it is?" she asked and unlocked it. Thalia and Neil had collected the money around the area that had been stashed over the years and used it, along with some more of the money Neil had in his folder, to buy a car. It had Thalia's name on it, but there were a few spare keys floating around the Foxes. Usually it was just Nicky or Aaron who used the car besides Thalia, but she sometimes found a note and a bottle of expensive whiskey from Allison. Thalia didn't understand why. Allison had her own car.

The two drove over to Abby's house and saw Dean and Daniel standing on the front step of the house. From Thalia's point of view, Dean looked like he was doing well. He was standing up on his own, and didn't look too wobbly. But she was far away, and he could be worse up close.

He wasn't, actually. Dean was quite stable by now, as it had been almost two months since Riko's attack, but Thalia was still surprised to see him smiling and laughing at something his boyfriend had said.

"Hey guys," Thalia smiled. "How you holding up, Roberts?" Dean smiled at her and walked over - slowly but surely - and hugged Thalia.

"Thank you," he whispered in her ear. Thalia froze for a second. Those two words meant so much in the moment. Dean would have died if she and Renee hadn't saved him. Hadn't gotten him and the other two out of the nest when they had. He pulled away and Thalia quickly wiped away a stray tear, putting a smile on her face.

"So, what parts of campus do you want to see first?"


	92. XCI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RICH GIRL
> 
> 'It's a bitch girl but it's gone too far  
> Cause you know it don't matter anyway  
> Say money, but it won't get you too far'

Thalia woke on the morning of her final final as a Fox feeling sad, but also ecstatic. In a few hours, she and the rest of her team would be facing the USC Trojans at the Foxes home court, and she'd be able to see Kevin and the rest of the Original Foxes. Everyone always travelled in for the final if the Foxes made it, no matter where they were or what prior obligations they had. It didn't matter if Dan and Matt were supposed to be at a baby shower for their friends in D.C., or if Renee and Allison were supposed to attend some fancy fashion show in California. They made the time in their schedules to see the Foxes in the finals. It was tradition by now.

Renee and Allison would be making their way across the country with the Trojans themselves, probably taking the whole team on one of Allison's private aircraft. Her fashion business had taken off after she'd graduated, and with the money her parents had given her to build her empire - that had surprised everyone, since they'd broken her out of their family, so to speak - she was able to treat everyone she cared about to luxurious holidays and new, expensive things.

Thalia rolled onto her back and kicked up in between the slats of the bunkbed, hitting the mattress, and by extension, Robin.

Andrew had been very adamant on getting Robin on the team, and, in hindsight, Thalia was glad that he had been. Wymack wouldn't have even known her name or her story if Andrew hadn't broken into his office and left that paper and bottle of scotch on his desk. Now it was just Thalia, Neil and Robin in that dorm, after the cousins had left last year.

Robin groaned and rolled over. Thalia kicked her again and that made Robin call out. "What the fuck do you want?" she asked in a pained and sleepy voice. Thalia turned her head and saw Neil, opposite her, with his eyes open. He shook his head, still clearly tired, but Thalia turned back to Robin and kicked her one more time for good measure.

"Get up," Thalia said. She swung herself out of bed and watched as Robin nursed her back that was probably going to bruise if Thalia didn't get her some ice. "We're going to the court."

"It's like, six am," Robin complained. "No." Thalia rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. She returned minutes later with an icepack. Robin had turned over, hoping to go back to sleep, and Thalia pulled up the back of her shirt, placing the ice right on her skin.

"Fuck you, Thalia," Robin said as the cold hit her back. She didn't remove it though, so Thalia left her and Neil and went into the bathroom to shower.

⥎  
⥐

Nicky and Erik walked around looking confused. Nicky seemed as if he were seeing the court for the first time. It had been a year or so since he'd been in the country, much less the Foxhole court, but when he spotted Thalia, he called her name and rushed past security guards to hug her. Thalia laughed as Nicky put his arms around her, even though he couldn't make his fingers touch because of the armour she was wearing.

"Hey squirt," Nicky said, smile bright. Erik was in the front row of seating behind them and calling Nicky's name. He turned to Erik and then faced Thalia again with a bright smile. "I'll see you after the game, okay? You'll do great." Nicky gave her two thumbs up as he left, apologising to the guards as he took his place next to Erik.

"Thalia! Neil!" a familiar voice called. Thalia and Neil both turned at the sound of their names. It was Katelyn, Aaron's fiancée and ex-Vixen cheerleader for the Foxes. She was smiling happily and her engagement ring was glistening on her ring finger.

"Right out of college," Thalia said, shaking her head at Aaron. She hadn't seen him since the engagement party, where the two had not only announced their impending marriage, but also Katelyn's pregnancy. But Thalia had seen Andrew many times since then. He often dropped by campus to see how Neil, Thalia and Robin were doing since his graduation last year. Along with many skype calls between Aaron's brother and Thalia's, she felt she'd seen that face a lot.

"Whatever," Aaron said. He was acting as if he were bored, though Thalia could tell by the way he was tapping his finger on his bicep that he was excited. She smirked and began conversation with Katelyn.

Some people eventually slid in next to Katelyn, and Thalia's head turned when she saw Dan and Matt, along with Renee and Allison next to them. "Thalia, oh my god, you look amazing," Dan said with a huge smile. Motherhood was not doing her any favours, with obvious bags under her eyes and her hair a slight mess, but Thalia was grateful she and Matt had come down for the game.

"And you, Dan," Thalia joked. "Where's the little one tonight?"

"Gracie asked me to pass on the message that she couldn't make it tonight," Matt said sadly. "She had some family business that required her to stay in town for the weekend. So she's looking after Davina."

"Oh, that's too bad, but at least the two of you got the night off." Thalia smiled. She was sad, yes, - she and Gracie had become closer than they'd been even in the nest while she was at PSU - but she'd somehow expected at least someone to miss the game. Dan and Matt laughed, and Thalia headed to Renee and Allison.

Renee immediately hugged Thalia, and she didn't complain. Allison gave her a kiss on the cheek. They both asked how she was doing with her finals prep, like the overprotective mothers they'd grown to become. The two had three adoptive children - two girls and a boy - and planned to take in more, and their motherly sides were showing tonight. Thalia didn't mind. She found it kind, a motherly affection she'd never received until Renee, Allison and Dan had started having children - even if three out of four of them were adopted.

Thalia looked back down the line and saw Neil talking to someone in the stands. There could only be one person he'd willingly talk to so freely, and Thalia excused herself from Renee and Allison, heading over to her brother.

Without hesitation, Thalia knew the man on Dean and Daniel's other side was Andrew Minyard. Apparently he'd had trouble getting down there. He'd said on a skype call that his manager was asking why he wanted to go down to watch the Fox game. He'd graduated last year, his manager had said. Andrew hadn't replied, and had just left. So not much trouble, really. For Andrew, at least.

"Hey, Miniyard," Thalia called. Andrew didn't look up, but Thalia smirked, knowing she'd gotten his attention by the way his ear twitched and his fingers drumming on the railing changed its rhythm.

"Hello, Josteen," he said, using the nickname he'd coined for her over the years. Thalia rolled her eyes and tapped his fingers in place of a hug or handshake. The three talked about how the pros were going for Andrew, and how Robin was doing. Almost as if she'd heard them talking about her, Robin soon joined them and struck up a new conversation with Andrew. Meaning she spoke, and Andrew listened while pretending not to listen.

The only person missing now was Kevin, and Thalia scanned the crowd for him. Just before Thalia was summoned back to Wymack, Andrew caught her arm and waited before Neil and Robin had left. "What's wrong?" Thalia asked.

"His coach wasn't as lenient as mine was," was all Andrew said. Thalia's heart sank and she nodded. She was disappointed, sure, a little angry - Kevin had promised he'd come - but didn't let those emotions cloud her playing abilities.

⥎  
⥐

The Foxes won by a last second point by Neil, much like Kevin had done in Thalia's first year as a Fox. It brought back feelings Thalia had been suppressing the whole game, and she had to rush to the bathroom to throw up the contents of her - very - light lunch. Abby was at her back in a few moments, rubbing it and telling her it was okay. Thalia started crying, something she hadn't done in years.

"He wasn't here, Abby," she stuttered. "He wasn't here."

"I know, Thalia," Abby said sympathetically. "Let's go back out there, okay? Show them you're strong. You okay with that?" Thalia nodded and Abby helped her to her feet.

When they got back on the court, Thalia held her head up and smiled to the crowd that was cheering. Neil and Robin asked if she was alright, but Thalia just nodded and kept her lips in a smile.

"And now, announcing the winners of this years' Collegiate Exy Championships," the man said. He was some NCAA representative that Thalia didn't bother to learn the name of. "Our very own Kevin Day." Thalia's eyes snapped to the podium, where she and the rest of her team would be standing very soon. Kevin winked and smirked at her before taking the microphone and turning to the teams and the camera crew.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Kevin began. Thalia looked out to the stands where Andrew had some sort of glimmer in his eye. He tapped on the railing - morse code. Thalia rolled her eyes at him and tuned into what Kevin was saying, a real smile on her face.

"Tonight, the Foxes have earned their spot as the winners of this championship for the third time in co-captain Neil and Thalia Josten's career. Now, I was torn on this game, with who to root for. As you may or may not know, I am a Trojans fan, however I was once a Fox. So I am pleased to announce the Foxes as the winners of this years' Collegiate Exy Championships. I congratulate every single player that played tonight, and even those who didn't, because you made it this far." Kevin said. "And that alone is proof that you are capable of great things." the crowd outside the glass box cheered, but it was drowned out, like rain hitting a window.

Thalia and Neil led the Foxes to the stage and Kevin, along with a few NCAA officials, gave the team their medals, and handed the trophy to the siblings. Kevin kissed Thalia's cheek and told her she played amazingly. Thalia smiled as she held up that trophy, glad her entire family was right there with her.


	93. XCII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GREASE
> 
> 'They think our love is just a growing pain  
> Why don't they understand, it's just a crying shame  
> Their lips are lying, only real is real  
> We stop the fight right now, we got to be what we feel'

Thalia and Neil's graduation was a bittersweet occasion. Just like the championship match against the Trojans, all previous Foxes came to the ceremony. Even Gracie and Dan and Matt's baby Davina managed to make it. And Thalia knew Kevin would be there with certainty, because he'd taken her out to dinner the night before, and had stayed at Abby and Wymack's house overnight.

Neil was called up before Thalia, and the smile he gave the cameras as he shook hands with the dean was genuine. It made Thalia smile, too, as she made her way across the stage.

"Thalia Josten," the presenter said. "Who has also received the arts award this year." there was a series of loud applause from one particular section of the crowd. Thalia smiled when she saw her team - past and present - cheering for her. 

When the ceremony was over, and the graduates were allowed out of their seats, Thalia and Neil ran over to the Foxes. They parted and Thalia was scooped up by Kevin, spinning her around in his arms and laughing. Thalia hugged him tightly, and then when he put her down, Kevin kissed her. 

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered in Thalia's ear. She smiled against Kevin's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kevin." Thalia laughed as she was pulled away from him and swooped into a hug by the rest of her teammates. The present Foxes were more reluctant to comfort their captains, however Matt brought Neil and Thalia into a hug so tight Thalia almost felt the breath being cut out of her system. She tapped Matt's arm to let him know, and he let go of them both.

"You're finally joining the rest of us," Allison said. Thalia rolled her eyes but leaned into her offering of a side hug.

"Took you long enough." Andrew commented. He was standing by Neil, and Thalia didn't miss their intertwined pinkies. They hadn't seen each other in months; Andrew was stressed over his first pro season, and Neil was stressed over finals and championships. It was nice seeing the two of them together again, in perfect harmony. They fit. They worked well. They understood each other.

"Oh, get over yourself," Thalia said, rolling her eyes again. "It's only been a year since you left this place."

"And I was hoping to never come back," Nicky sighed, looking around and holding Erik's hand. "Yet here we all are." Dan chuckled and tackled Thalia into a hug, having handed Davina off to Wymack, her godfather and namesake. Thalia laughed and returned the gesture.

"So, who's getting to take over next year?" she asked, taking the cap off Thalia's head and putting it on her own. Thalia and Neil turned to see Robin standing awkwardly by the younger Foxes. She looked up with startled eyes, confused by all the attention she was getting.

"Robin," Neil said. He beckoned her forward. She came, standing with her arm against her chest protectively, but Thalia side hugged her. "The two of us have discussed it with coach, and we'd like you to be captain next season." It took a few seconds, but then Robin turned and hugged Thalia with such force that she stumbled backwards.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she squealed. Thalia laughed and patter her back. Robin stepped back, a flush on her cheeks. 

"There's another thing," Thalia said. She pulled out the set of keys from her pocket that she carried with her at all times for the past five years. Robin took them like they were gold, and cradled them in her hands. "You take care of the place for me, yeah?" Robin nodded and hugged Thalia again. "Okay Robin. You're welcome."

⥎  
⥐

"I'd like to first congratulate Neil and Thalia for graduating," Wymack said, holding up his wine glass. "We all believed in you every step of the way." the whole table laughed.

"Bullshit!" Thalia called out from Kevin's side. He squeezed her hand affectionately. They hadn't seen each other since the championship game. The Foxes had lost, but it was alright, because Thalia was at least glad she'd had the chance to spend it with her family watching her.

"Yeah yeah," Wymack continued, waving his left hand and showing off the new wedding ring. He and Abby had gotten married in the summer, and moved into Abby's house right after. Thalia had thought Kevin had accepted it all graciously. He'd been as happy - if not more - as the rest of the team for his father and the nurse, and had even been best man at the wedding.

"So, next order of business. Robin," Wymack turned to the only person at the tale who wasn't part of the original Foxes. "I'm happy to announce that you'll be the captain of the Foxes next season." everyone clapped. "And finally, some more big news," he turned to Abby, who took his hand comfortingly. Thalia narrowed her eyes at the gesture, put two and two together and gasped. Abby hadn't been drinking all night. She hadn't been drinking for the past few weeks, to be honest. Not even at dinner when Thalia and Neil met with her and Wymack every Sunday. "Abby's pregnant." Wymack said, shocking everyone except Kevin and Dan. They'd obviously already told them.

"No way," Nicky exclaimed. He looked between the two and his face broke into a huge smile. "Oh my god! I'm so happy. There's gonna be baby Foxes!" Dan snorted.

"There already is one, Nicholas," she said. Davina was in bed, but that was what Dan had meant. Nicky rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean, Danielle," he said. Dan's face went cold, but she didn't act on any feelings. Nicky turned back to the coach and his wife with that smile. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Does this mean Kevin's going to have a sibling?" Aaron asked. "Because I can't deal with two Kevins."

"You hardly deal with one Kevin these days," Thalia said, raising an eyebrow at him. She turned to Abby and smiled. "Congratulations, Abby, I'm really happy for you guys." Abby smiled back in appreciation and Thalia squeezed Kevin's hand under the table, asking Are you okay?

Yeah, he squeezed back. Thalia turned and smiled at him. Kevin smiled back and leaned down to kiss her.

"Save that for later, you two," Wymack said. Thalia rolled her eyes at him. The meal was amazing - Abby had made her famous lasagne - and the conversation was light and easy. Everyone was catching up on what was going on in each other's lives and Thalia found herself smiling more easily than she had done in a while. This was her family. Neil, her brother, Kevin, her boyfriend, and the rest of her Foxes - even the extended ones - and Thalia wasn't going to give any of them up so easily.


	94. XCIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STARGAZING
> 
> 'Pull it out of park, put it in drive  
> I can feel your heart beating with mine  
> Underneath the stars, looking for a sign  
> Glowing in the dark till the sun shines'

Thalia woke up in a familiar bed - the one Kevin used at Abby and Wymack's house when he visited. She rolled over and looked up into Kevin's face. His eyes were closed, but his expression was more relaxed than Thalia had seen it in a while. She could get used to a view like that. Again.

'Morning,' Kevin whispered in a hoarse voice without opening his eyes. Thalia smiled and leaned up to kiss his nose. He hummed in response and gave Thalia the ghost of a smile. Kevin turned over and picked something up from his bedside table before rolling back to Thalia and holding it between them. His eyes were open now and looking at her expectantly. Thalia gasped and put a hand over her mouth at the ring - a silver band with an emerald stone set into it. It was beautiful.

'Lia,' Kevin said. 'Will you marry me?' he asked. Thalia looked into Kevin's eyes and nodded. He smiled, and Thalia kissed him on the mouth this time. Kevin slid his free hand around her waist and pulled her in closer. Thalia put a hand on Kevin's cheek.

He slipped the ring onto Thalia's finger and she stared at it up close. It was beautiful, and Thalia couldn't stop admiring it. She'd seen Katelyn do the same when Aaron had proposed. And Allison when Renee had. And Dan when Matt had. She understood why her friends had been so captivated now. She didn't want to look away.

The two headed downstairs eventually after many shared kisses and hours laying together, their first few as an engaged couple. It was almost noon by the time Thalia headed downstairs - Kevin was in the shower - and saw the note on the fridge from Wymack and Abby. They'd gone out and said Thalia and Kevin could use whatever food from the fridge and pantry they wanted.

Thalia got out some eggs and mushrooms, beginning to cook them in a pan on the stovetop, when Kevin's footsteps came from behind her. He wrapped his arms around Thalia's waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. Thalia smiled at the gesture and Kevin hummed. 

'What are you making?' he asked, though it was clear what was in the pan.

'Eggs and mushrooms on toast,' Thalia responded. Kevin hummed again. 'Your favourite, if I recall.' Kevin grumbled and went to get the bread out of the pantry.

'Not my favourite, I just think it's rather healthy,' Kevin retorted, defending himself. Thalia laughed.

'Alright,' she said, putting the cooked food on pieces of toast Kevin had made. They worked well together in the kitchen - Thalia was a good cook, and Kevin, surprisingly, loved to bake. 

'I know it's almost lunchtime, but I thought it would be nice.' Thalia said as they sat down next to each other at the breakfast bar. 

'It's perfect, thank you my love.' Kevin said and kissed the top of Thalia's head. She smiled and the two began eating their meal.

⥎  
⥐

When Wymack and Abby got back at around three thirty, Andrew and Neil weren't far behind them. Everyone was having dinner at the house. Thalia thought it would be funny to hide her new engagement ring, so she hid her left hand behind her back or held onto Kevin's hand for most of the afternoon.

'You know you're not smooth, right?' Andrew said when the six of them were sitting in the living room and chatting. Thalia had her hand under her thigh and in the other was a glass of coke. She frowned. 'We can all see the ring.' Abby gasped and turned to Thalia with wide eyes.

'Clearly not everyone could,' Thalia spat in German. Andrew didn't retort, and Neil only smiled slightly, showing Thalia he already knew about it, too. Had Kevin told him he was planning on proposing? She seemed it would only be right, since Neil was her only living family member. The only one who would have mattered, anyway.

'Kevin proposed?" Abby asked. Thalia sighed but nodded and reluctantly gave her hand to Abby when she held hers out to see the ring. "Oh, darling it's beautiful." Thalia blushed a little at that. It was beautiful. Kevin had made an excellent choice.

"Nice one, kid," was as much of a compliment as Wymack gave the two. Thalia rolled her eyes but smiled. She already considered Wymack a father figure, now he'd officially be her father-in-law.

"Are you going to tell the others?" Neil asked. Thalia looked at Kevin. They hadn't really discussed that, despite having most of the day to decide things like that.

"Eventually, yes," Kevin said, making Thalia nod in agreement. "But not all at once. We'll probably start with Dan first, and, I suppose, Matt by extension," Kevin had really grown to think of Dan as a sister over the past few years, even with her being away for a lot of the time. They'd grown closer than they were when Thalia had joined the team, and even more so than when Dan had found out about Wymack being Kevin's father. "Then I suppose we'll see where it goes from there." 

"That seems fair," Abby said, beaming. She finally let go of Thalia's hand and Thalia rested it on her lap, finally feeling comfortable showing off the stone.

Dinner was a mix of emotions and conversations - ranging from what pro teams Neil and Thalia were looking at joining, to anymore information Abby and Wymack had on the newest addition to their family - and Thalia felt right at home. There was a silent and begrudging agreement that they'd join together for this at least once every two months - sometimes more - and Thalia went to sleep that night feeling ecstatic. It was almost hard for her to fall asleep because of how much adrenaline she had running through her system. Because of how exciting her day had been. But she managed, sleeping by the love of her life. Her fiancée.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :)  
> I actually made this playlist and will be adding to it as I continue to write, so if you want to see it on Spotify, the playlist is called 'Memories playlist' and the cover photo is the fanart of Kevin, Neil and Andrew at the Olympics with their medals. Hope you enjoy :)


End file.
